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Female, 33 years old
Chicago, IL, Midwest US

  Offline - Last On: 4715days 12 hours ago

1 Buddies
34 Subscribers
11,229 Profile Views
20,753 Posts | Member Since: 7/15/2004
Link to this profile:

random sounds
I don`t know.

Interests: Arts/Crafts / Books / Cooking / Feminism / Writing
Homepage: Click Here
Birthday:4/17/1988 (33 Years Old)
IM Type: (Decline to State) IM Name: .
Occupation: flirting and subverting.
Marital Status: Dating
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Atheist
Politics: Liberal
Fav. Movie: La Pianiste
Fav. TV Show: MST3K. The Boondocks. Pete & Pete
Fav. Book: Le Petit Prince
Fav. Song: windchimes and birdsong
Fav. Food: bubble tea and boy germs
Fav. Car: little toy ones
Theme 'desert wind & parchment' created by MelLowStar
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

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I want a baby. - Mood:Anxious
Sunday May 18 20083:02:06 AM |
I'm not kidding. I used to think I'd never want children; but right now, I want a baby so badly. I'm obviously not financially secure enough to raise one right now; but I think that I'd be a good parent otherwise.
I LOVE the idea of teaching a child to read and write and such; and I'm practically incapable of getting angry at little children.

I just want one now.

There are 39 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

My secret desires. NASTY PEOPLE. Birth control pills. - Mood:Good
Thursday January 17 20083:31:38 PM |
A secret desire of mine:

Sometimes, I wish that I could be a physics major or something similar.

Shh. Don't tell anyone.
You see, I see people who have certain majors on campus and envy them. I have friends who are physics majors or pre-med, and when I look at their textbooks it seems so interesting. I know I could never understand it, though, so I won't even try.
I'm not very good with science; I didn't even get a science class until I was in 9th grade, so I'm hopelessly behind. Even all of the entry-level classes assume students know things that I don't really know; I had to work my ASS off to get a mere B in my core bio class. It was an embarrassing experience. Booo.

I also want to pose nude for the art school downtown; they pay REAALLLY well, but I'd like to work on my stomach and legs a bit before I let anyone see me nekkid. I think that goal is attainable, though, if I get in slightly better shape.

There are 25 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

COLLEGE. Cute fruit. Recommend crap to me. - Mood:Excited
Saturday January 05 20082:13:50 PM |
I'm EXCITED about my new schedule. EXCITED.
Here it is, in all its fuzzy, distorted glory.:

I think that after this quarter, I'll finally know what I want to do with my life. I think. Probably.
At first, I was considering psych, but now it'll probably be linguistics and something else. Maybe linguistics and philosophy, or perhaps linguistics and anthropology. We'll see.

I'm also sad that all of my marzipan is gone. I bought two boxes at the German market in December and planned to freeze one box to save; but I was a pig and ate it all, which is rather sad, because it was so cute!

There are 14 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Self-embarrassment. More GOALS. My brain. - Mood:Spent
Wednesday December 05 20079:00:42 PM |
It isn't a good feeling.

If any of you have ever had the privilege of looking through old journals or diaries you kept as a kid, you would probably say that reading your own words about Santa Claus and wetting the bed is an entertaining treat.
These things embarrass me, though. I hate looking at things I've written years ago. These days, I even hate looking at things I've written ONE year ago. I used to have so many silly ideas about other human beings; if the me of today were to meet the me of two years ago, I wouldn't like her. She was so ignorant and small-minded.
I happened to stumble upon a bunch of old e-mails I'd sent out to people, and I thought, "Gee, what an idiot. Thank god I'm not that person anymore".
I'm enjoying this concept of myself as a new human being.

Anyway. I still...can't manage to make academic decisions.
First I was a psych major, but this is no more.

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BIG GOALS. smaller goals. Question. - Mood:Good
Thursday September 13 20072:20:26 AM |
YES. My life now has some actual direction. For a long time, I wasn't able to really grab onto anything. I would float here and there, thinking I'd settle down and do something, but I'd just...lose interest.
But no more!

I've already created some longterm intellectual goals for myself, and now comes the short-term crap.

1. watch these movies. All of them. Getting ahold of every MST3K episode ever created should cover the bulk of it.

2. Learn some self-defense skills, so next time I'm sexually harrassed on the CTA, I can punch the dude in the face without worries.

3. Find cheap apartment. I'm not living at home anymore. I just can't do it. It's too oppressive. Plus, an apartment would mean that molto wouldn't have to get a hotel every time he visits.

There are 16 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Crest whitening strips. EPIPHANY. - Mood:Spent
Thursday September 06 20071:45:10 AM |
Do the darn whitener things actually work? I only know one girl who's claimed to have used them, and her teeth are totally busted. She always looks as though she's just finished sucking on a stick of butter. Obviously, this doesn't speak well for the product, but I'm still willing to give the things a try. My teeth are already in fairly good condition, but teeth can never be too white, in my opinion. There's always room for improvement.

and I've had an EPIPHANY. I now know what I'm going to college...with my life. I'm majoring in psychology and minoring in linguistics. I'm probably going to be in school for the next 3936903 years earning my Ph.D. Yay. My existence has new meaning.

Damn. This place feels so alien and strange. I've been away for awhile.

There are 27 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Questions about veganism and the afterlife. - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 22 20079:32:01 PM |
I went to talk to the school nutritionist about being vegan, and she made me feel horrible. I wanted to know what vitamins (if any) I should be taking, and it seemed as though all she did was grill me about what I eat.:

Her: "What do you eat for protein?!?!"
Me: "All sorts of beans. Almonds. Oatmeal. Couscous. Wheat bread. Soy milk."
Her, without even asking any more questions: "Not enough protein."

For the next few minutes or so, she dug through her file cabinet while ranting about all the amino acids I would be missing out on without eating meat. She seemed biased to me, which is strange because you'd think that a nutritionist would be more helpful.
I was suspicious from the moment I walked into her office. She was very overweight, and the sight of an overweight nutritionist was odd.

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Durable condoms. Food from strangers. Good music. - Mood:Ecstatic
Thursday May 17 20077:55:50 PM |
Condoms are so excellently-made. I was in the Student Care Center awhile ago, and they were passing out free condoms. My love interest is currently 3 states away, so I don't need them; I just got a few for nostalgia's sake.:

When I was a kid, I used to get condoms and fill them with water, or blow air into them (this was kind of gross, because the lube would get in my mouth, and it doesn't taste pleasant) until they were as big as beach balls that I could bop around. I'm a bored dork, so I decided to grab a few and see if I could do this again.
I filled one with water until it was two times the size of my head.
...and it didn't pop! It was amazing.

I also ate random food today. There were these Indian people on the quad making music, and one of them offered me an Indian dessert that looked and tasted like cinnamon cream of wheat. I don't know what it was, but I would certainly like to, so I can buy more of it.

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Is this immoral? - Mood:Confused
Friday May 11 20075:06:19 PM |
...or is it simply gross (or perhaps not) and nothing more?

I had an interesting conversation with a friend today. I've been thinking about it for hours.

Back when she was 17 (she's 22 now), she used to baby-sit for a family in her neighborhood. They had three kids - a toddler (I don't remember if it was a girl or a boy), a 7-year-old girl, and a 12-year-old boy. She baby-sat these kids pretty regularly - about three or four times per month.

She was downtown about a week ago, though, and met the 12-year-old boy that she used to baby-sit at Jewel's. He's about 17 now, and a student at the Art Institute.
To make a long story short, they ended up having sex at her apartment.

She called me and started talking about this, and my first reaction was disgust, but I was too shocked and polite to say so. I'm pretty sure that she just called me for "moral comfort", anyway.

There are 42 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

My melting brain. Depersonalization. Need money. - Mood:Good
Sunday April 29 200710:15:45 PM |
My brain
ting. It's bothering me.

Over the past week, I've forgotten to go to one appointment with my counselor (ironic), a writing seminar for biology, and a workshop for French class.
I feel worst about missing the French workshop, because they're fun. I want to travel back in time and go.

Does this ever happen to you?:

It's been happening to me lately very often. What usually happens is I'll be doing something totally mundane, like brushing my teeth or eating lunch.
Suddenly, everything will feel bizarre and surreal, like nothing exists outside of my own mind - my body doesn't even exist. I'll look at my hand in the mirror while it's brushing my teeth, and it feels like someone else's hand.
(I don't have a mental disorder.)

There are 22 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I want French friends. Good News. Pandamonium. - Mood:Lovestruck
Thursday April 12 200710:48:48 PM |
I've been learning French, and I've started to love it. I used to dislike it because the words were too soft and pliable, but now I like the way the words sort of roll around in my mouth like cold grapes. It's very pretty.

I'm interested in improving my French beyond formal classroom talk, though, so I must ask: Does anyone know of a French forum site -something similar to YT- that I can join?
I've already joined a Spanish-speaking forum site to practice my Spanish while I'm not learning in the classroom, and I think it'll be helpful.
I'd like to do the same for my French, but haven't found a good forum site.

In even better news, I had an unexpected surprise today! I thought that my Troilus & Cressida paper was due today and stayed up all night to do it.
Come to find out, it's not due until 5 pm tomorrow.

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YouTube rants by religious whackos. Veggie Sandwiches. Pandamonium. - Mood:Good
Tuesday April 10 20078:30:13 PM |
I love this dude. He looks like an unholy cross between Alfred Hitchcock and Humpty Dumpty in a polo shirt, and he's completely insane. I've been gleefully giggling and watching his videos about the evils of atheism, uppity womenfolk, and "sinners" for the past hour.

I'm also very disappointed in the sandwich-making skills of my school cafe. Whenever I order a veggie sandwich, the cafe bagel-maker people always feel the need to pile dozens of pickles and spinach and tomato in between the bread, until there's so much inside the damn sandwich that I can't fit it in my mouth.
I suppose they think that they have to over-compensate to make it more filling because there's no meat; but really, it's just annoying. Silly people.

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Selling my body. Necrophilia. Pussy. - Mood:Good
Sunday April 01 200711:15:38 PM |
Damn college books.
Buying books for bio and hum took a big old chunk out of my funds. 30 bucks here and there isn't a big deal, but if you keep spending that much cash every couple of weeks or so, before you know it, you've eaten away at $200 from your account.
I know a girl who goes to the Art Institute, though, and she says that she knows someone who knows someone who can put me in touch with someone *else* who'll set me up with nude modeling for art classes.
Apparently, it pays quite well by the hour!

I've also been thinking about certain sexual deviancies that people usually consider foul, like pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia.
Out of those three, I think I can understand necrophilia the best. Imagine, for example, that someone is socially inept and ugly with a small penis.

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MY DAMN GRADES. Hygiene. Country Music. - Mood:Good
Wednesday March 14 20079:54:54 PM |
Due to the quarter system and the fact that I can take no more than 4 classes per quarter, my GPA is crapcrapcrap...mostly due to calculus.
I. Just. Can't...get an A in that class; I've accepted that fact.
Now that I know I'll never have to take anymore math AGAIN, though, I'm able to accept it even more.

Anyway. Sometimes, I...wonder about people.
There is a gorgeous girl in my French class. Really, she could be a model.
...yet she often smells like a warmed over yeast infection.

Actually, I find the combination of her attractiveness and smell to be more bothersome than the smell itself.
Whenever I think about nasty-smelling people, I think of oily, ugly people with acne and ogre faces. It's just...odd to find someone so beautiful who can smell so feral.

...and I've found some country (I think?) music that I like.
This is pretty groundbreaking, because I always used to dislike most country.
I really try to find something good in every genr

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Asian men. Girl Boy Names. Veganism. - Mood:Good
Tuesday March 13 20078:46:16 PM |
I realized today that I'm attracted to East Asian men. For a long time, I wasn't attracted to them because I generally like people with large, light (green is a favorite) eyes, but I no longer feel this way.
It's just kind of surprising, because I generally think of attraction as something relatively constant (e.g. if someone isn't attracted to blondes now, they probably won't be attracted to them a year from now, either).

In other news, I keep having ideas for names I would name a female child...if I have a child, that is. Even though I would prefer to have a boy, little girls are funner to name.
I love the idea of little girls with boy names. ('Pierre' and 'Ricky' are favorites).

I've also fiiinally made an appointment with a nutritionist to talk to her about becoming vegan. I've already given up meat, but I'm not going to stop eating dairy until I talk to a nutritionist first about vitamins I might need and other issues.

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Odd people with no facebook profiles, babies who love me, and shoofly pie. (Warning for squeamish YTers: semi-gross question inside!) - Mood:Hopeful
Tuesday September 05 200610:12:38 PM |
I thoroughly searched facebook to see if my two college roommates made profiles, but they haven't done so!
I wanted to send them friendly greetings messages and ask them what they're bringing, so we don't *all* end up bringing mini-refrigerators or TVs and taking up too much space.
I can't contact them, though, because they haven't made profiles. Hmmph.

Some happier news: Babies love me.
I'm one of those people who is somewhat neutral about babies. They're cute and all, but I don't go "Aaaaw! OMG cutecutecute!" whenever I see one.
They *all* tend to love me, though.

I spoke to a friend on the phone last week, and she put her baby boy on the phone. As soon as I said hello to him, he began squealing and clapping his little hands with glee.
It was cute and eerie.

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Recommend genuinely terrifying horror films to me. - Mood:Frightened
Friday August 25 200610:23:26 PM |
I have an overactive imagination, so even the cheesiest horror movies can scare me a little because I imagine the things in the movie happening to me in real life.
The fear usually doesn't last long, though.

I don't think I've ever watched a single movie that has seriously scared the crap out of me for a good, long time.
I'd like to do so, though.

I would appreciate your recommendations very much.

There are 92 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Happy news and succulent pies! - Mood:Lovestruck
Tuesday August 22 20068:55:33 PM |
If I had a time machine, I'd travel forward to January and freeze time forever so the month would never end.

I'm going to meet a YTer for the first time!
MoltoAgitato is coming up here for several days in early January, and I'm shivering with anticipation.
I plan on forcing him to make me copious amounts of dumplings, read me bedtime stories, and be my humble manservant.
I just hope that finally seeing him in person won't make me explode from the sheer awesomeness.

Now have some delicious pies!

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"Where in the world is MoltoAgitato?" - Mood:Lonely
Saturday August 19 200611:20:25 PM |

I'm sure a few of you have asked yourself that question, considering the fact he hasn't been on YT in 3 whole days.

Molto has been having some computer problems that are going to take a few days to repair.
He should be back in a few days or so.

Until then, let's have some baklava!:

P.S. - I can't wait for college to start.
My computer and printer are here, and my mom is buying me crap for my dorm room!
Unfortunately, though, I don't even have orientation until September 16th.

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I recently discovered a car dealership called "Auto Wizzard". - Mood:Good
Sunday July 16 200611:49:21 PM |
I know nothing about cars.
If I tried to buy one without one of my parents (preferably my father) with me, I'd get horribly screwed over.

The one thing I DO know, though, is never to buy a car from a dealership where the owners not only lack the ability to spell "Wizard", but are idiotic enough to PUT IT IN THEIR COMPANY NAME without checking the spelling.

Oh, I slightly screwed up my new healthy lifestyle plan today.
I ate two chicken quesadillas and a medium cherry-flavored Chilly Willy.

Say hello to Mr. Grub, please. (He was sadly ignored in my last journal!)
Not too loud, though; he's a shy fellow.

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Brutality. Animality. Fatality. Superb. - Mood:Mischievous
Saturday July 15 200611:21:45 PM |

I received that at from a friend at....oh, about 3:00 am when I was high on sugary drinks and candy.
I laughed like a drugged up fiend for a good three minutes.

Oh! Today makes day 5 of my new healthy lifestyle plan, and I can honestly say that I feel much better.
My new "healthy lifestyle" includes more fruits and water, and at least two minutes of sun exposure each day (like a vampire, I normally don't venture outside in the daylight unless forced); it's great.

Say hello to Mr. C.S. Grub.
Not too loud, though, he's very shy.

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Thursday July 13 200610:25:57 PM |
I just noticed some apple pie in the freezer.
It's the good kind - sweet, crumbly crust and tart apples.
I'm devouring some tomorrow.

I'm so proud of this.
It's arguably the most thought-provoking question that I've ever had approved; I hope some more people go comment on it.

I love this picture so much that it's bothering me.

I tried making a theme out of it, but I don't think that it looks nice.
And that frustrates me, because I'm usually rather skilled at making pretty themes.

There are 65 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Flower puppies! (pictures) - Mood:Excited
Wednesday July 12 20068:13:41 PM |
Flower puppies, everyone!

It's so insanely cute; I can't take it.

Today was probably the healthiest eating I've done in awhile.:
Breakfast = bowl of Kix & skim milk
Lunch = dry Kix, a plum, and a banana
Dinner = green beans and a piece of chicken

I exercised at 5:00 am this morning, too!

P.S. I love my new profile theme. It reminds me of my first (and only) pets.

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A question about the sky; an answer about a rope. - Mood:Mischievous
Tuesday July 11 20069:18:28 PM |
I got my AP test results yesterday.
I got 3's in English and calculus; that was (mostly) no surprise.
What shocked me was the 5 I got in psychology; it was so unexpected.

Random thoughts for discussion:
1. Is it just me, or do these two devices look as though they're having a conversation?:

2. I vanilla ice cream.
3. I want these boots.:

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I want George Michael`s sex. - Mood:Hysterical
Sunday July 09 200612:11:19 AM |
I just finished watching "Requiem for a Dream".
It was the best movie I've seen in awhile; the last few minutes of the film were highly disturbing (the music added to this), but effective.
I need to watch more good movies; I haven't seen as many as I'd like to.

I feel like such a phony right now.
I'm writing a little essay for a church scholarship that I'm about 99% sure that I'll win.

I'm not a Christian, though.
I'm not even a theist.
Hell, I'm not even an AGNOSTIC; I don't believe in god at all.

The college I'm going to is far from cheap, so I'll need the money.
It just makes me feel so...evil, though.

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