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Female, 35 years old
ny, Western US

  Offline - Last On: 272days 11 hours ago

18 Buddies
28 Subscribers
43,214 Profile Views
52,540 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
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i won`t have to anymore jon groff
NicolesLove


Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Theater / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (35 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Married
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Other
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: Donuts
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
 
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
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Though i`ve tried, i`ve fallen, i have sunk so low,i`ve messed up, better i should know, so dont come around here and tell me I told you so - Mood:Good
Saturday November 29 20039:58:32 AM |
*growls and snaps teeth* Today sucks. everyone sucks. snow sucks. having to go to dance sucks. the world sucks.


good morning

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WARNING: this is very journaly, angsty, pathetic, whatever you wanna call it. - Mood:Good
Friday November 28 200310:29:47 PM |
i just want to bury my head in someone shoulder right now but i have never had a person like that, and i don't think i ever will. people don't like me. i make sure of that. i don't know why. i don't mean to. it just happens. i want a friend. just.. someone to be there for me. but i can't recipracate. well i could but i suck at it. i don't want a fricking boyfriend. i want a friend first. a friend i can reach out and touch. i want something i can never have. someone to will care about me, truely, not just say they do. i want.. someone to comfort me. hold me. as a friend. not leading anywhere. not being tied exclusively to each other. but commited just the same, as companions. as.. friends. i miss that. i miss having friends. they were few and far between but it was so nice to be able to just call them up whenever and chat for hours about.. i don't even know what. i need some comfort. really bad. and theres no one here to give me it.
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I have a agme to propose.. that may suck.. but you never know. it could be an alternative to counting ceiling tiles.. (276 btw) - Mood:Good
Friday November 28 20039:30:03 PM |
So. how my game works. i name a person and a certain photot, description of the photo and the first person to post it wins a point and gets to do the next one.
example: alanis in a gold shiny shirt

it has to be a photo can can be found somewhat easily on the web. and with jsut saying the shirt type or whatnot there could be a couple different poses with the same shirt so that could add a challenge of who posts a pic first.
and no complaining you don't have a key, non key members can post pics. right click, hit properties, copy the URL type [ i m g "> the adress then [ / i m g "> without the spaces. its actually faster than saving then uploading.
anyone wanna play?

if so.. alanis morissette in a gold shiny shirt

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Hold on if you feel like letting go, Hold on it gets better than you know, Don`t stop looking, you`re one step closer, Don`t stop searching, it`s not over - Mood:Good
Friday November 28 20034:29:05 PM |
Hello from a lowly member of YT. i keep forgetting how low i am on the YT scale

i can't believe i like that song. i am disgusted with me. but i do. the video too.

i am going insane. kazaa won't work, windows media player won't work I CAN'T GET ANY MUSIC! i am completely musicless.

bye from a YT subordinate.

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i see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass - Mood:Good
Friday November 28 20031:52:05 PM |
i'm bored. so i am on Launch. gimme some music videos to watch! what are some good ones? funny ones? must-see ones? other?

and please, nothing that will offend my grandma behind me

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Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly, all of your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise - Mood:Good
Friday November 28 200311:55:56 AM |
sorry for being a journal whore but, my aunt had this great idea that i should enter a gingerbread house contest. like i don't have enough to do and wanted to actually enjoy a weekend of doing nothing. but she'll get all pissed and dsiappointed if i don't so its not worth it.
so. what should i make? name some famous houses i can recreate. and what do i need to make gingerbread?
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another night another dream but always you, its like a vision of love that seems to be true, another night another dream but always you in the night i dream of love so true - Mood:Good
Friday November 28 200311:35:37 AM |
Hmph. My grandma is putting up the lights and getting frustrated so she is taking it out on me. i keep getting screamed at. i'm getting screamed right now.
"NICOLE! DID YOU MAKE YOUR BED?!"
"..yea.."
*she stomps away*
i don't like getting screamed at for no reason.

on a good note though i had a cool dream. a little snippet was.. i was in gym class and we were running some kind fo obstacle course and there was one place where an alligator came out to eat you but it was really a guy but he looked really real, i knew it was a guy though. but if he got me i was out so i ran up this huge fence and he said "nicole you have to let me get you" and he grabbed me with familiar arms and i came down ended up on the ground with this hot guy that i KNEW laying over me. he kissed me quick. and i said 'teach me how to kiss' so we started making out

anyways, i can't figure out who they guy was! i can't picture him again in my head, i KNOW i know him. i just

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And what I am to you, is not real. - Mood:Good
Thursday November 27 200310:14:17 PM |
sometimes i forget there are other people in your life other than me, probably because there is no one else in my life but you. i forget you don't know me, and don't want to. i forget i am an indifference in your life since you are what makes mine beat and tremble. i forget you have no knowledge of me existing except to.. be. just.. there. not yours. just mine. nothing to you. what am i to you? i am nothing to you. i am not less nor more. just nothing. i am, what you don't see. i have, such desire to know you. i want, nothing more than you want to give me. i keep, your voice in head, calming me. i need, something from you to keep me from driving myself insane. i hope, you will someday understand, and explain to me. i care, way more than i should. i want to wipe your tears. i want to hold you as a calming force and hope you hold me back. hold me back from crying out your name. it doesn't do any good. you don't appear. you don't need to. you don't want to. you don't see me.
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I don`t want a lot for christmas, there is just one thing i need, i don`t care about the presents underneath the christmas tree, i just want u for my own, more than you could ever know, make my wish come true, all i want for christmas... is.. youuuuu - Mood:Good
Thursday November 27 20035:54:43 PM |
Damn. i'm watching figure skating. the first time i've watched figure skating since i actually went skating for the first time. dammmmmmmmmmmn. i don't understand how they can stay upright let alone turn and jump and dance and crap. hm.

put the tree up. its nekkie though. put the ordaments on tomorrow.

i'm hungry. anyone have any leftovers they wanna share?

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A stuffing poll. Please answer! - Mood:Good
Thursday November 27 200312:31:08 PM |
do you stuff your turkey with stuffing/dressing? and if so, do u eat it or is it just for flavoring?
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I had the BEST title ever and completely forgot it. - Mood:Good
Thursday November 27 200311:59:58 AM |
Happy thanksgiving yall.

My life is boring. and i like it that way. no school! yay. hm. someone do soemthign with me. chat? game? ooo game! yahoo, games.com? game on this thread? gimme some ideas

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Ain`t no talking to this man, he`s been tryin to tell me so. - Mood:Good
Wednesday November 26 20038:21:53 PM |
You're a big girl now. you don't need someone beside you as you do this. be calm and comtemplative. and don't lose your mind when he doesn't answer. he could hate you. and you can take it. you need to forget him. not forget but accept thathe has forgotten you. dismissed you. its all in your head him and you. you need to realize that and not act on what happened in your head. you need to grow up.
why do you base your life and set yourself up by him so much? he doesn't even know you exist. its still crush yes, but its taken on another life. its taken over yours. he shouldn't make you that happy. and he shouldn't make you that morose. he shouldn't have so much power over you. why do you let him? but its not him. its you giving him power that he doesn't use against you, that you make out to be against you. you lost girl. cut the strings. but you can't. becuae those strings keep you alive.
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I skinned off half my hand trying to make ice cream - Mood:Good
Wednesday November 26 20036:57:36 PM |
i made 3 different kinds in mini batches seeing which one comes out best. they all look kinda gross. but you never know. or maybe i just wasn't meant to make butterscotch ice cream

however, i am eating the cookies and cream i made yesterday and yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy

i've never actually stabbed myself before in alll my years of cooking. its the brown sugars fault. it was so hard i had to chop it with a knife and well. ow. blood + butterscotch don't mix.

pray for my ice cream

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Where are the grammar police? - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 25 200310:08:31 PM |
"i got there a half an hour late"

or

"i got there half an hour late"
??

more questions to come too

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I don`t want your judgment. i don`t want your opinion on what i did. i just want what you think could happen if i write this. - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 25 20038:18:54 PM |
ok. so. i have to write a paper on the camping trip i had to go on for a make up class. there were 7 of us blah blah. it was nighttime, around midnight, everyone went to bed, i stayed up stayed outside everyone went in the cabin to sleep except two guys. they came over and checked on me, didn't see that that i had a razor blade, knew something was up though. i came inside one of the guys was still up asked if i wanted to chat, i said ok, we chatted and we got around to what i did to myself yada yada.

ok so. i have to write this paper as a play by playo fwhat we did we weren't supposed to be in cabin and we weren't supposed to have alcohol.. we weren't supposed to do a lot of the things we did so i have very little to write a 3 page paper on.
my question: would i get in any kind of unwanted poo if i included me cutting in my paper? should i just not go there? i mean it is what happened. and i don't have alot of to write about. (cont)

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apathy surrounds me, seeps in and drowns me. indifference coats me, fills me and bloats me. numbness floats from me, dyes me and becomes me. - Mood:Good
Sunday November 23 20039:01:00 PM |
I don't like this.
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Come laugh at me - Mood:Good
Sunday November 23 20036:12:46 PM |
This is sad. there is a hallmark movie on tonight that i am only eatching becausew Gary Sinise is in it and i LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Gary Sinise.

*commence laughing*

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Help me with this paper please. proofread will ya? i`m not sure how formal or informal this has to be, he just said: - Mood:Good
Sunday November 23 20036:03:24 PM |
"go do an outdoor adventure activity that you've never done before, take pictures and write a 1-2 page paper." so.. yea. would this work?


No one told me ice-skating was so cold. Well, maybe they did and I didn’t listen. But let me start from the beginning. Since Mikaila and I both decided to do ice-skating for our activity we thought it a good idea to go together. She picked me up and we went to the ESL that I believe is on campus. We rented skates and waited for free skate to commence. Her brother plays hockey so Mikaila gave me tips on technique, poise and not falling on my butt. I stepped onto the ice and made a new friend: the wall. I discovered ice-skating is more difficult than rollerblading to me, and has a good motivator for not falling down: you freeze whatever you landed on off. It is very unnerving to have 5 year olds zip past you as you struggle to stay upright. We circled and chatted and got steadier on the skates. (cont)

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Pretend other people exist and interact with the shadows in the darkness that can only hinder yet enhance the world you once knew. pretend other people exist and save a life tonight. - Mood:Good
Sunday November 23 20032:48:57 PM |
helllllllllllllllllllo. i haven't written a journal in.. almost 24 hrs wow. so. yea.
ice skating was fun. i only feel once and i didn't fall fall. it ws more os a my leg were sliding farther and farther aart so that i ended up doing a split on the ice that was cold. very cold. but fun. i am not a people person. i'm not a person. but i am. and don't like it. how can i exist like this. i can't. i don't. i won't.
9pm. cbs. reminding myself about a movie.
i have to write a paper on my ice skating adventure. hm. what to write. i also have to write a paper about camping. fun fun.
i hate when people read over my shoulder. *growls and snaps teeth*
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jeremy spoke in class today. - Mood:Good
Saturday November 22 20039:39:56 PM |
ok so this song is confusing me whihc is probably sad becuase its probably really easy to figure out but i don't entirely get it.

i feel like a waste. not in a depressing way. just a factual way. i'm pretty sure i am. and don't know what to do about that. i don't really wanna do anything. just continue being a waste.

putt's awesome.

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slight poll - Mood:Good
Saturday November 22 20039:09:32 PM |
are these the same thing?:

"i'm scared of you."
and
"you scare me"

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You cant stop the motion of the ocean , Or the sun in the sky, You can wonder if you wanna but i never ask why, And if you try to hold me down, I`m gonna spit in your eye and say, That you cant stop the beat! - Mood:Good
Saturday November 22 20038:32:37 PM |
just got back from hairsprayyyyyyy. the guy who played link was HOT.and sang really good. evetyone in that cast had GRAET voices, everyone. weehoo.

going ice skating tomorrow. this should be interesting. i'm going with a girl from school who doesn't know the extent of my lack of going anywhereness. this is going to be painful. but possibly fun

hmmmm who can i call and annoy...

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WHY IS IT THAT GUYS ONLY LIKE ME/WILL TALK TO ME WHEN THEY ARE DRUNK!!! - Mood:Good
Saturday November 22 200312:14:35 PM |
this is ridiculous.
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Simple little question. - Mood:Good
Friday November 21 200311:16:09 PM |
Why is Jude Law so damn hot?
There are 37 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Hey its Riverdance!..no.. wait a minute.. its Missy Elliot! - Mood:Good
Friday November 21 20039:38:53 PM |
Dutch. is riverdance with breakdancing. its scary
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