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Female, 35 years old
ny, Western US

  Offline - Last On: 332days 9 hours ago

18 Buddies
28 Subscribers
44,539 Profile Views
52,540 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
Link to this profile:

i won`t have to anymore jon groff
NicolesLove


Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Theater / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (35 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Married
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Other
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: Donuts
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
 
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

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Who`s going to see christopher titus tonight? Someones going to see christopher titus tonight? What? Who`s seeing christopher titus tonight? :-O christopher titus? WHERE? - Mood:Good
Monday November 17 20088:36:11 PM |
yay. titus. 20 minutes.

hes up there in my top 5. top 5:

1 dane cook
2. titus.
3. jeff dunham
4. stephen lynch
5. varies.

my top 5 switches around in rank a bit from time to time.

YAY. it was free too. awesome. WOO

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Make the world go awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....and get it off my shoulderrrrrrrs....say the things you used to sayyyy... and make the world go away.... - Mood:Good
Monday November 17 20083:14:47 PM |
Uhhhhmmmmmmm.

That was best groan i got in typed form.

I wanna curl up on my bed and sleep for weeks.

My head hurts. I think its caused by repeated hitting of my face. I took some motrin but its worn off and i don't wanna take more.

My face hurts. In ways i didn't think it could hurt. But apparently, oh yes, it can.

I had a paper due friday but i emailed my teacher with something i oh so shouldn't have told him cuz he stuck the counseling center on my ass, but i hoping that that at least means i get an extension... cuz i'm only about 2 sentences in.

Cuz my drating face KILLS. And i just wanna sleep.
Make the world go away.

And the snow.

There are 22 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Will the circle be unbroken? By and by Lord, by and by.. Theres a better home awaiting, in the sky, Lord, in the sky. - Mood:Good
Saturday November 15 20082:25:13 AM |
I'm not gonna make it. I know that. I don't know why i insist on holding on when i know.

I don't know why it got so much more intense. Why i can't fight it off anymore. How the mess i'm in now will always be with me. Because i can't get myself out of this. I can't control it. Its just going to get more f*cked up. and involve more people. Because i can't deal with myself. I'm not gonna make it. I can't. I look ahead and just see tracks and tracks of not knowing what the f*ck is going on, wondering how one person can f*ck things up so bad.
I give up.

YT is slow tonight.

There are 12 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Its time for "PM me with your advice" - Mood:Good
Friday November 14 200811:16:00 PM |
Hi. I need advice, from both guys and girls about a situation. Its a relationship type question i suppose. 18+ advice would be appreciated. Only cuz i think i'd feel weird discussing with a 13-17 person

So. I don't know. Maybe not even so much advice as an ear to listen. Though advice wouldn't be turned away.

anyone?

There are 25 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I don`t wanna talk about it. - Mood:Good
Friday November 14 20085:30:14 PM |
You know whats fun? Emailing my professor about why i didn't finish my paper, then getting a call from the counseling center because he called them.

OH am i so sick of everyone and everything.

I got to sleep at 10am this morning, woke up at 2:30pm. I am so tired.

Anyone have a ditch i can hide in?

There are 16 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

To Write Love On Her Arms - Mood:Good
Thursday November 13 20082:41:38 PM |
2nd annual to write love on her arm day


link


Uncreative yes, i only have 3 gel pen colors though

I was so excited to go to class with big LOVEs written all over my arms. But i slept through my first class and my lunch isn't liking me so much so i may not make it to my second class.

It was weird writing with gel pen over ridges. Ridges i didn't even know were there until i tried to write over them.

I hate when things that taste bad bother my stomach. Chocolate pudding pie always bothers it but at least its delicious.
I had a piece of chicken in an envelope. Like tuna.. but a piece of chicken.
Smelled nasty.
Tasted nasty.
And now my stomach hurts. BAH.

F*cking being a f*cking student with no f*cking food but peanut butter and chips.

There are 16 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Shall I add to YTs mental health issues? Yes. I think i shall. - Mood:Good
Wednesday November 12 20081:58:44 PM |
This is what i do. This is what i DO. This is what i've done for the past 11 years. Its so easy. Just take the sharp object, apply, press. I can't right now. GOD i want to. so bad. I want to slice my wrist f*cking OFF. But i can't even cut my thigh. Wtf.
I want to hide in a ditch somewhere, cover myself in a thatch of leaves. So my way of doing that, bleeding. But My body won't let me. My fingers won't do it. Let me. Please let me. Get me high. Let me bleed. Let me feel the release, let me so too far and pass out. Please Please let me.
I can't do this. i can't. I can't take this. Obviously. something gonna snap. I don't want it to be me. I don't want to lose freedom. Sanity. Whatever i still have.
Let me bleed god f*cking motherf*cking dammit.
There are 18 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Holy CRAP thats a lot of crappy newbie threads. - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 11 20085:11:56 PM |
So i figured i'd add one. Crappy, not newbie, thx.

I hate my advisor. I HATE my advisor. I am a dance intent, have to audition and pass to be a dance major. My advisor, without ever seeing me before, last semester told me to forget dance and major in something else. Um. No. I'm a dancer. I don't want to major in Psych. I don't want to major in Phys. Ed.

So this semester I decided to smile and nod so she will give me the advisement key needed to register, throw all of her 'suggested classes' out the window and take what i want. I'm not stupid. I know what i have to take, what i should take.

At least she didn't make me cry this time.
Cuz f*ck her.

I have a banana

There are 12 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Its sunday. I`ve had the last 3 days off. I`m starting to get bored. WTF is wrong with me?? - Mood:Good
Sunday November 09 20084:42:35 PM |
No class Friday. I rarely have stuff to do Saturdays. And today dance rehearsals were canceled. I woke up at 1:30pm and have been hanging around, watching tv.

And i'm starting to get itchy to do something. Apparently i don't do 'nothing' well.

i COULD be writing papers. I'm not quite that bored yet though.

Its cold. Or i'd go outside.

I could shower Just to give me something to do.

I also could go dance/practice/choreograph. But again. Its cold. That would require leaving my room.

Do you pronounce the *L* in yolk? I'm watching food network and the girl keeps pronouncing the L and its annoying me.

There are 11 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Because I want to see them- The Post Your Eyes Thread - Mood:Good
Sunday November 09 20081:23:25 PM |
Pretty self explanatory i'd think. So post!
There are 107 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Anyone gonna be in Brockport,NY Dec 4-5? - Mood:Good
Saturday November 08 20087:40:32 PM |
If so, come see me in a couple pieces of a dance performance

One i choreographed and am in, one i'm in, and one solo.

Exciting. one involves glow sticks.

F*cking papers i don't wanna write.

5 more hours until i go insane, strip, and run rampant through the campus naked.

My boobs keep my chin warm.

There are 28 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

What the motherf*cking hell man, seriously, wtf? don`t tell me that! why the drat would you tell me that - Mood:Good
Friday November 07 20083:22:52 PM |
In all seriousness, yes i'm positive, my friend just told me if he doesn't get into the schools he wants to get into he's going to hang himself. wtf am i supposed to do with that? holy hell man.

perhaps thats why he can't find a girl though, like he desperately wants to. girls aren't stupid, can sense that and run away.
He's a nice guy, a really good guy. Just.. SUCH a downer. And i believe likes being that way, since he won't do anything about it.

MY LIFE IS WAY TOO dratING COMPLICATED, MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY.
Make my suicidal friends be okay, make the boy i love be with me and love me too, make the boy who complicated my life stop being so drating magnet attractive to me, i don't understand it and i don't like it anymore. Make my mother stop being psycho, make ME stop being mentally insane and unstable.

There are 24 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Do you think i could listen all day to such stuff? Be off boy- or i`ll kick you downstairs *doot doot doot* or i`ll kick you downstairs *doot doot doot* or i`ll kick you downstairs - Mood:Good
Wednesday November 05 200811:11:18 PM |
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFi4DJ80b...

I used to be able to say the dialogue along with them.


I'm okay. I need to remind myself every so often.

I should be writing 3 papers, practicing for a dance performance, reading the ny times, d&c and usa today i got, and/or something else productive.

but no.

i'm on YT.

and gonna be sorry for what i ate for dinner. I know my stomach can't handle poo like that. bah.

There are 11 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Oh hell yea. I put my giant chocolate chip cookie next to my laptop to be eaten later. - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 04 20082:22:19 PM |
I just broke off a bit and ohhhhh. it was in front of my heater fan thingy and is all melty now in the chips.

I'm happy now

Its 70 degrees here Its november, it should be snowing. Not that i'm complaining!!!

I want a boy.

I bought 6 things on ebay in the past 2 weeks. want pics? i think you do:

There are 17 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

This is just a dream . - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 04 20081:22:13 PM |
Zomg I'm a terrible person, i didn't vote. I would if i could though. Could meaning i didn't live 40 minutes from my voting place and had a car.

I'll vote through telepathy. Telling people to change their vote to who i would vote for, therefore voting by default.

I registered to vote when i was 18.. haven't gotten there once. Lack of car and lack of family members who give a poo about voting hinders that.

So yes, throw your "zomg you awful person how can you not vote" at me.


In the meantime i will tell you all about what classes i wanna take next semester:

Beginning ballet
Trad dance ballet
African drum and dance emsemble
History (not sure which one)

I hate ballet. But i suck. Thus the classes.

I hate moments of clarity. Gives me false hope.

There are 6 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I am losing my f*cking mind. - Mood:Good
Monday November 03 20084:13:48 PM |
Like seriously yo. There is SOMEthing wrong with me. It can't be stress, i really don't have any. My classes are mad easy.

Yet here i am. Insane. Holed up in my dorm room. Skipping classes left and right. Sleeping forever during the day then staying up all night walking around outside doing crazy things.

I'm falling apart. And i'm not entirely sure what to do about it. Because i'm not shattered. I'm not bottom. So if i do something about it i'd end up having to go lower before i can go higher.

And losing things. Like drating college. Freedom. Friends. Dance. Freedom.

F*ck. So. I'll stick with bitching on forums for now.

There are 22 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Nicole is bored. And has no scruples. And likes the word scruples. (a picture thread) - Mood:Good
Sunday November 02 20089:30:38 PM |
So yea. Private dorm room. Boredom. Lack of scruples. SO.

Give me pictures to take, i will! Just don't get me banned

There are 55 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

My dinner > your dinner - Mood:Good
Sunday November 02 20086:32:38 PM |
[image]

Mini cheese ravoli in a delectable light coating of sauce, topped with melted mozz cheese and garlic salt. Also, beet greens, cooked and drizzled with oil and vinegar. And a donut.

Yay for real food (sorta) in a dorm!!

I'm buying glow sticks on ebay. 50 of them.

Also buying 12 fuzzy socks.

yay fuzzy socks

I'm excited. I'm choreographing a new dance. The theme is insanity vs sanity. It involves said glow sticks. Its to finger eleven's Paralyzer. It will be awesome. Seriously, costumes and lights and everything. I hope I can somehow get a video on youtube and link someday. Hm. Interesting.

Hi

There are 34 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Its weird to wake up and 2 hours later it get dark. - Mood:Good
Saturday November 01 20086:48:28 PM |
Carpe diem, bellum noctum.

Its becoming a problem.

I'm thinking of locking myself in my dorm room and see how long it takes people to realize i've disappeared.

I say a month.

I liked that about a roommate. If i passed out (which i do often) or what have you, someone came home every night. I could bleed to death in this room by myself and no one would know.

Actually, that is my plans for the night. Curl up in a corner of my room and stare at a wall until.. well, i don't know.

Fun times

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha someone(s) in my building, two doors down, just got busted for weed. HA (pics) - Mood:Good
Saturday November 01 20083:28:27 AM |
It was lovely to see Officer bum opening for reasons other than him coming to harass me for being "odd" and a "public health nuisance".

Halloweens over That sucks. I really wanna go walk around outside for awhile but since its 3:30am.. a little late. But friday is the only day i can stay up as late as i f*ck loving want.

Bah.



There are 20 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Someone give me the fancy medical reason why chocolate makes cramps go away. - Mood:Good
Thursday October 30 20085:44:37 PM |
Its a miracle.

Have i mentioned i hate being a girl today? Because i do.

Speaking of being a girl, i'm going to a Take Back The Night rally. Only i have no idea what the goings on will be. I know what its for, but what goes on? Anyone know?

Devil sticks are the poo.

I bought an African wrap today for my dance class performances. I'm scared.

This is what it covers on Nicole:


and the skirt is a wrap around. yea. so not cool. Girly bits hanging out everywhere.

Whose losing their mind?
ME!

Who is getting careless covering her arm?
ME!

Who is sick of drinking crystal light?
ME!

There are 57 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I DIDN`T GET ANY MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Mood:Good
Thursday October 30 20082:20:42 PM |
This may not seem like a big deal to you but that means:

1) I didn't get blu's package in time to mail with my other package out to the contest
2) I didn't get a critical part of my halloween costume.

Damn.

Ow. Cramps. Damn being a drating girl. drating stomach is all drating funky. And i have to go dance in half an hour.
I was gonna wear my pumpkin tights to class but I don't wanna anger my stomach by putting anything tight on it.
Bah.
BAH.
Go away.
Want a cookie?

There are 20 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

YT: Brockport - Mood:Good
Thursday October 30 200812:40:58 AM |
Anyone? Anyone?

I know, there's no one but me out here

Anyways. I'm bored. And cold. I feel so empty. Like i'm missing something. And cold. Very very cold.

Facebook is disappointing. How can people kill hours on that thing? After you look at people statuses, maybe new pictures, theres nothing else to do.

Bah.

Give me something to satiate my boredom YT.
Or at least give me free porn.

There are 11 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

My purple hand/ It`s snowing :-( / I`m gonna freeze on Halloween/ My gram is buying me donuts :-) - Mood:Naughty
Wednesday October 29 20083:30:01 PM |

In the past 20 minutes it went from:
windy snowing, to sunny and snowing, to sunny and clear, to raining, to snowing again.

A piece of my costume hasn't arrived from ebay yet, and i don't think its going to

I hate the cold. I HATE the cold. I hate snow, i hate below 60 degrees. i hate winter. Not fond of the fall weather, though fall is awful purdy.

I think i'm too fat to fit in my halloween costume

There are 15 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I stood in the neosporin aisle for WAY too long. And heres the reason why. - Mood:Good
Tuesday October 28 20088:37:12 PM |
Ointment. Cream. Wtf is the difference? And which should i get?

Neosporin cream. Neosporin ointment. The ointment has one more ingredient thingy in it. Other than that.. i don't see a difference in make up.

In application, the cream goes on weird, it doesn't fade into the skin, i just have a big white sheet on my arm. Is that normal?
The ointment doesn't soak in either though, and i end up with a slimey arm.

I think the ointment is a better analgesic thingy though.
But that could just be in my head.

Seriously. This is what is going through my head as i stand in the first aid aisle for, oh, 10-15 minutes looking back and forth between the boxes.
I don't do decisions well.

So. Which do you prefer, cream or ointment, and why?

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