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Female, 36 years old
ny, Western US

  Offline - Last On: 702days 12 hours ago

18 Buddies
28 Subscribers
46,596 Profile Views
52,540 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
Link to this profile:

i won`t have to anymore jon groff

Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Theater / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (36 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Married
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Other
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: Donuts
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
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I can`t sleep . - Mood:Good
Wednesday December 17 20084:28:56 AM |
I hate not being able to fall asleep. Its so frustrating.

Tell me this, how does one who keeps forgetting to eat still have a flubtastic stomach?

I just wanna sleep! and dream. and be unconscious to the world.

But no.
Someone sing me a lullaby.

There are 10 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Its a wonderful life is bullpoo. What if you didn`t save a buncha peoples lives and have a buncha peoples respect? - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 16 200810:51:03 PM |
You should just jump then.

I wanna kiss a boy who loves me. Or a girl. But somehow it sounds dirty when i say that and not sweet like it should be.

I started SS shopping today can't find a suitable box though.

I go and finish the rest of my christmas shopping, hopefully, tomorrow at the mall.

39 days left.

I have a spare christmas present. I was thinking of having some kind of YT game and having it as a prize but:

1) i'd have to make a game
2) someone would have to give me their address

whatcha think?

There are 10 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

What i need is a good defense, cuz i`m feeling like a criminal - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 16 20086:17:11 PM |
I'm at home. Where there is no computer, no internet.

Yet my laptop (otis) picked up something.

Holy crap i'm YTing in my room.

Ah little things. Little things make me happy

So. Where is your internet coming from?

There are 2 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Anyone online willing to listen to a crazy rant for a bit? - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 16 20082:52:26 AM |
I just need some kind of sounding board if anyone is willing.
There are 8 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

So I was thinking about being a stripper - Mood:Good
Monday December 15 20087:30:59 PM |
I could use some extra money.

Though one i saw on tv would be perfect, where the girls are all behind a glass wall, even during one on ones. PERFECT. but not around here.

i figure, as long as i'm insane and have no self esteem at the moment anyway, why not get some money out of it.

I have a bit of practice being sexualized by strangers. so. why not?

I would actually, if there was one in my town that fit that^ and if i didn't have my family who would go psycho if they found out.


i made a cake.
it looks like crap.
tastes pretty good though.
for having chocolate frosting.
i prefer vanilla.

I had chinese for dinner.

Someone find me a strip club to dance at.

There are 129 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Don`t you hate when you unsuspectingly put something in your mouth then go "What the hell is that??" - Mood:Good
Sunday December 14 20084:58:46 PM |
Its unnerving and unpleasant.

Last chance if you want a christmas card. They are being sent out tomorrow.

41 more days.

I can't figure out when to go christmas shopping my poor SS person. Its coming, i swear!

I'm thinking Wednesday.

I think shopping will do me good. I like shopping, might help my insanity.

I also have to get some new boots. Mine has holes in the bottom. Not good in snow.

There are 8 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Wheres the SS wishlist? - Mood:Good
Sunday December 14 20084:41:37 AM |
Maybe i'm blind but i can't find the wishlist and i stupidly forgot to copy what my SS person wanted
There are 3 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Its episode #24 in "nicoleslove has lost her marbles" - Mood:Good
Sunday December 14 20082:34:55 AM |

Its the same old crippling horrid feeling only now i don't have any RDs, RAs or UP to go running too.

And i can't Si.

I'm pretty sure i'm gonna die.

43 more days.

Someone tell me how to bleed without having to lie or hide it.

There are 25 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I am highly disappinted in Rascal Flatts - Mood:Good
Saturday December 13 20084:56:19 PM |
I got all excited, i got a message saying they were playing a concert near me.

i was all and stuff

So i clicked. And saw their opening act.

Jessica Simpson. Jessica Simpson?! WTF!

I love rascal Flatts. LOVE LOVE. But not enough to sit through Jessica Simpson.

Actually thats a lie, i would still completely go except i have no one to go with.

I like seeing the opening acts though Just put a disgusted bummer cloud over my day.

There are 37 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

If you want a christmas card gimme your address - Mood:Good
Friday December 12 200810:06:25 PM |

Its YTer inspired this year

There are 42 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Oh you poor little RAs. I may look sweet and innocent now. - Mood:Good
Friday December 12 200812:16:42 PM |
I'm moved into my new res building

The moving people knocked at 11am and woke me up but they were just saying i had 30 minutes.

So. yea.

Poor little RAs here. I'm a nightmare yo.

The crazy girl is never well received.
Sucks too. Cuz i am a lovely person just exhausting. And needy.
Ahh i will never be liked. Its okay.

I seriously feel kinda bad for these people I know what i am like. I'm a whole lotta paperwork.

Time to rearrange all the furniture.

There are 23 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I really wanna talk to people and YT is letting me down - Mood:Good
Friday December 12 20082:06:56 AM |
just saying.

i wish i had someone to chat on the phone with while i pack. Makes packing/cleaning so much less horrible.

I miss the boy i once had.

i can't even go walk outside and cry about it into the snow because i have to pack

I have SO much packing to do.

they are coming at 11:30 tomorrow morning. theres no way.

i want my boy back.

I gotta tell you. Its really hard to concentrate on a task when your screaming and going insane in your head.

my hair is doing weird things i think its like.. doing a mary tyler moore flip thing. by itself. its scaring me.

so who wants to chat with me while i pack?
I have to warn you. i am a very hyper perky high octave fast talking rambler

or am i going to have to stick to listening to rascal flatts as i pack

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Quickly, name me some christmas songs - Mood:Good
Thursday December 11 20088:53:39 PM |
and who they are by. your favs that is.

i'm trying to make a youtube christmas playlist and i've run out fo songs/ singers

There are 17 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Someone just "might could"ed and i almost cried (weepy girly journal) - Mood:Good
Thursday December 11 20086:13:00 PM |
Yes i'm being a journal whore today, hush.

BF. Gone. Now all this poo reminds me of him. Most i'm ready for and am just like then move on.

But someone just used the phrase might could. which he always used and i'd laugh at him for it every time. and i felt like i was gonna die.
God i miss him.
But i'm too messed up for him anyway.

Is there anything like that in your life? Where a phrase or ..thingy reminds you of a ex gf/bf, passed on friend/relative. and just cuts you to your soul.

There are 6 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

My room smells like sex - Mood:Good
Thursday December 11 20085:28:15 AM |
My hair is beyond a mess. i wore a hat yesterday night after i showered so it was bad before i went to bed. Then i woke up with morning hair, put on another hat, came home, took off hat and put hair in some kind of weird origami hair tie so i could go dance. Took hair out of tie, back in hat. Then out of hat.... then back into hat to go for walk outside.

and now its out. and scary as hell i shall shower tomorrow when i get up. Its only been 24 hours since i last showered. but my hair looks like its been through a war.

I am no further packing

Thats it! Tomorrow i do nothing but pack!!! and YT

There are 61 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

No one is getting anything from me for christmas!!!! - Mood:Good
Wednesday December 10 20089:05:15 PM |
Except my YT ss cuz thats just rude. and i don't wanna be that girl whos name gets thrown around as a stiffer for years to come

i don't feel like getting anything else for anyone though.
How ungiving and unfestive of me

I feel like i have no one fun to buy for anymore.
who i'm supposed to give poo to:


i miss my best friend. he was always fun to buy for.

My aunt wants me to burn her a cd, i'm getting my gramp a shirt from the college i go to, i'm sewing my gram a pillow, i got my stepdad a cd of bird sounds. my sister i got sephora crap.

How boring.

I should have signed up for SS under this name and an alter like i do every year so i could send out two gifts

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I`m pushing my luck with all these emo type journals on YT but lets be optimistic and say its the last one - Mood:Good
Wednesday December 10 20083:07:10 PM |

If you've been following my drama.. then you're well informed. If not. Um yea. Where was i going with that.

Anyway, HI! cutter here, but more than cutter girl is is about to lose her drating mind. So i can't take this poo anymore. And i was thinking about telling my RD since i know i won't get my ass to the counseling center by myself, but if i tell him, he'll force me drat up, yes. usefully though? yes.

anyway. my question to you YT, is how in the hell do i word that to my RD??

I refuse to walk in there and go "uh, hi, REALLY wanna cut myself and its eating me alive"

But. i can't think of what exactly to say.

*please let the nice helpful people of YT be on today as opposed to unhelpful.*
normally i don't care which kind of YT enters my thread, i just rant to rant i don't care who reads it.

But i could use some honest to god real advice at the moment.

There are 59 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

If you were to commit YTicide by Mod how would you go about it? - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 09 20083:29:08 PM |
I think i'd take others down with me. i could.

pornicide is so.. anti climatic.

how would you?

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So.... whatcha doing? - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 09 20083:10:58 AM |
I'm bored. And lonely. So pretend to be my friend for a minute would ya?

i should be writing an essay, final essay, really big part of my grade essay, that due tomorrow.

But you know what. I don't f*cking care. So i'm not thinking its going to get written.

I REALLY wanna go for a walk outside. But its cold, and theres snow. and i shouldn't.

I kinda got somewhere packing. Kinda. Its hard to pack when you don't know when you're going to move. I'm not sure what i'm gonna need again before i leave.

I really wanna go f*ck with the cops. But somewhere, wayyyyy in the back of my mind i think i hear something saying thats not the brightest idea.

But maybe i'm just hearing things.

So. Whatcha doing?

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Ok its getting to me. ignore this, seriously, and pretend its not me, cuz its not me - Mood:Good
Monday December 08 20088:32:58 PM |
Sorry. a TMI crazy rant. But i have no one to tell this poo to anymore.

I have this drating craving, urge to cut the poo out of my forearms, which normally just knowing i could would make it lessen. But i can't. i'm going home in a few days, i can't go home with cut up arms, but GOD i want to and i can't release it because i can't do it which adds to the crazy impulsive feeling

and i was gonna go sit in the shower until i'm so much of a prune it feels weird but i really wanna bring a blade in with me but i flocking can't so i'm stuck curled up on my floor thinking who the drat can i call and tell as this poo to to try to lessen it so its not all drating in me

and theres drating no one i can call up crazy. who the drat would want a crazy girl calling them telling them how she wants her arms to run blood but can't, not making any sense and being a burden.

i had a dream last

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Damn i`m in a terrible mood - Mood:Good
Monday December 08 20085:29:27 PM |
I feel like screaming at everyone, bitching out anyone who comes in my path and severely beating anyone who talks to me.

And telling everyone to get the f*ck away from me and go away.
But thats not really problem since i haven't seen a soul all day.

But it means i have no outlet for my being bitchy to everyone.

theres no one to be bitchy to.

f*cking finals. Going home in about 4 days. i can't even f*cking SI to release this pent up whatnot, they'll see it when i go home.
Which just builds up more poo.

I just realized i have no food. and the campus cafe is closed. great. i'll just turn to anorexia to abuse myself. but is it anorexia if i have no choice to not eat?

There are 28 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

What should I wear to go for a walk for about an hour in 11 degree weather? - Mood:Good
Monday December 08 20082:20:05 AM |
Theres snow. Its 11 degrees. its not snowING at the moment. i can't tell if theres wind.

I was thinking 7 layers of pants, 2 layers of fuzzy socks, 6 shirts, winter coat, 2 gloves, hand warmers inside, two hats and a hood.

whatcha think?

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Puff the magic dragon lives by the sea.. and frolicks in the autumn mist in a land called.. - Mood:Good
Sunday December 07 20082:29:22 PM |
Yea. Realized i'm not so sure about the lyrics to that song

anyways. One more week of finals, then i have to go home i don't wanna.

but then i get to buy and send my SS gift!!!! i'm excited.
i hate that i can't christmas shop until after the 15th. I am NOT a last minute person. Its driving my chi up a wall.

moms here

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Um. I went to bed and it was dark. I woke up.. and its dark... - Mood:Good
Saturday December 06 20085:46:37 PM |
SO uncool. My week of paper writing, dance rehearsals late into the night, performances and non stop doing poo all week caught up to me i suppose.

but i don't like waking up into darkness. it throws off my chi.

I was supposed to be cleaning out my room all day today. Guess i'll be doing that all night then

I wish yall could have been at my performance it didn't go perfectly but GOD that was fun and i think it went well enough to have not sucked.

Griffin did you make it??

gimme a minute and i'll upload pictures!!

There are 52 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Anyone have any knowledge about Sigg bottles? - Mood:Good
Saturday December 06 20082:14:03 AM |
I bought one. say 'make love not landfills'

i'm cold. i wanna make hot chocolate. if i make the hot cocoa then pour it in there am i gonna die from don't-put-hot-liquid-in-a-sigg-bottle poisoning?

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