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Female, 36 years old
ny, Western US

  Offline - Last On: 361days 5 hours ago

18 Buddies
28 Subscribers
44,709 Profile Views
52,540 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
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i won`t have to anymore jon groff
NicolesLove


Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Theater / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (36 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Married
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Other
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: Donuts
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
 
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
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Yea i know, journal whore blah blah - Mood:Good
Sunday April 19 200911:32:11 PM |
But i need suggestions.

This whole sitting in my room doing nothing is driving me insane.

I don't have any friends, and i don't wanna/ can't go out anywhere.

I can't drive.

What can i do to keep me busy?
I would go dance/ rehearsal but the building closes at 11pm.

I would go for a walk. But what is the only thing to do on a walk? Think. I do most of my thinking while taking a walk. And i don't wanna think.

I tried watching tv, M*A*S*H marathon on But then.. commercials.. my mind wanders.

I went swimming with a friend, that was helpful.
But now i'm all alone.
All night.
Help me.

There are 35 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I wish I had girl friends - Mood:Good
Saturday April 18 20095:14:41 PM |
I would so go out dancing or something. Well. I don't know, going out 'clubbing' just so isn't me. Might be fun though.

Maybe bowling.

Anyway, i need a girls night out.

Anyone wanna go out with me tonight?

I wish I still had roommates who could drag me out to wherever they are going.

That's one thing i actually don't like about having a single room. No one to gossip about boys with, exchange tampon tips with, talk bad grades over with. No girl sitting at the desk next to me to just turn and chat with.

So. Even though i'm most likely not getting a single again next semester, that may not be a bad thing.
Oh god, unless they are like last semester's roommate.
Then lord help us all. And i say all because ALL will hear about it.

So. Where are we going?

There are 25 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I had a dream. two actually - Mood:Good
Friday April 17 200912:25:33 PM |
So this dream. I went to my bf's house and we were all going out and i'm not sure what happened but his mother was kinda disapproving of me.

So somehow, i was suddenly dating his brother. and his mother disapproved. And i missed my bf.

Then, suddenly, i was only coming around to hang out with his 5 year old sister (he doesn't actually have one). And his mother disapproved. and i wanted my bf back. But i'm not sure what happened and why we weren't together.


ok, that was dream #1

Dream #2:

I had a horse. It was hurt, I think it was bloody. And it was laying in a ditch hear my house. I looked out my window and there were two boys like.. kicking it and messing with it. So i screamed a buncha obscenities and ran down to help it.

I got two steps and it started pouring raining, it was laying in a ditch so I was like "he's gonna drown!" and my mom said she would help, then she (cont)

There are 36 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Break time - Mood:Good
Wednesday April 15 200912:33:16 AM |
I have been ChaChaing my ass off. I've made 20$ for far, at 3 cents an hour in the past 2 days.

Exciting.

So the bf and i concluded we feel more like friends than bf and gf and that we should work on fixing that... but don't know how. Ideas?

I should get off my ass and go for a walk.
So boring by myself though.

I need friends.

I need to practice dance. I was going to tonight at 9:15 but the boy needed me. So i stayed in my room, online, from 7pm until.. well, now.

Pretty much eating the whole time.

Mississippi in the middle of a dry spell.

Hi.

Whats shaking?

Text a question to 242242 and maybe it'll come to me

There are 34 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Wooooooooooo I am now officially a chacha guide!!! - Mood:Good
Monday April 13 20092:58:30 PM |
Yay.

I so almost just died. Choked on a piece of chicken. Its good chicken though. Cold, since my microwave died. but still. Good.
If I'm dead i can't enjoy the other piece though. That would be a shame.

I don't want the semester to end. Make this one end, and another immediately start. New classes, but still living in the dorm.

But yay summer.
I can't wait for it to be warm

it 32 degrees

What in the ever loving f*ck are they doing outside my room, in the hallway. It sounds like are skateboarding and banging into walls.

Crazy freshman.

I like david spade. I have no idea why. but i kinda do. and dana carvey.

Hows life?

There are 11 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Theres only 10 hours left!!! - Mood:Good
Sunday April 12 20092:17:42 PM |
Please, if you have time, go to this website and register with your email.

Put in a fake name, doesn't matter, you just need a real email. They don't spam you.

Go to the cute pet contest main, advanced search for submitted by "kristen" then vote 5 paws for my dogs! Please We may have a chance of winning if even 5 of you do that.
Everyone keeps going through and voting everyone else's dogs 1 paw so the highest score is like a 2.20 out of 5 or something.

So its easter. Woo. Making spice cakeballs. They are freezing at the moment.

I'm hungry! Yay lots of real food

I really wish my dogs win

Hi

There are 28 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

What a waste of perfectly good chocolate man. - Mood:Good
Saturday April 11 20092:24:44 PM |
When charlie unwraps the golden ticket the chocolate ends up all over the sidewalk. Seriously, yea, yay you found a golden ticket, but save the chocolate man. That stuff looks good.

I can't watch this movie man. It makes me crave chocolate too much.

So. I was gonna have a pancake party today. Which was pretty much just going to consist of me going down and making pancakes.
But i'd have to go down to the stove in the lounge.
There could be.... people there Ew.

Plus i can't watch tv I can't just do one thing. Pbth.

Stupid Bob dying. I miss you Bob

There are 14 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Can you rip audio from youtube? - Mood:Good
Saturday April 11 200912:28:07 AM |
Once upon a time i used to have a program that did it, and whenever anyone wanted audio ripped, i did.

I'm hoping karma will be nice. Because i don't have that program anymore, and can't get it, and i need this video audio ripped.

Anyone? Please?

Journaly part:

So today i realized i was thinking "hm.. my solo may be better danced to a live piece of music" and then remembered i don't have the program anymore So i got all sad.

Oh and i ate dairy free, gluten free, wheat free ice cream. 5$ a pint man Made with coconut milk.
Tasted pretty good actually
No dying yet. So thats good.
I'm so glad i found a ridiculously expensive substance for ice cream that comes in only 3 flavors.

There are 7 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Stranded At The Drive-In - Mood:Good
Friday April 10 20098:55:40 PM |

All alone, on a friday night. As i was monday night. and tuesday.. wednesday.. thursday......

And will be tomorrow.

I can't believe i went from having a bf who lived 23 hours away that i never saw, to a boy that lives 5 miles away, that i never see.

I was gonna go practice tonight. I reeeeeally, really should. Since i have a little less than a month to completely choreograph two pieces, and 2 weeks until the big Sankofa dance concert.

It seems so funny. That all i do is dance and perform. Yet, i am not a good enough dancer to get into the damn program.

not that i'm bitter or anything

Anyways. I don't feel like moving. So i'm not thinking its going to happen. I keep saying i have all tomorrow. but yea. my only day to sleep in? So not gonna work.

So. Hi. Keep me company as i sit here alone?

There are 19 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

We`ve all got our junk, and my junk is you - Mood:Good
Friday April 10 20092:36:11 PM |
Vote for my dogs! I entered them in a cute pet contest for the paper

dog 1
dog 2
dog 3

Please?

So. I have a doctors app. And i'm scared I've never had a girly exam before.

I have cookies
Its exciting.

Anyone wanna come over for dinner?

There are 11 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

BOB DIED - Mood:Good
Thursday April 09 200910:52:50 PM |
My microwave died

How am i going to eat???

Majority of my food has to be microwaved

I got that thing in october

I went shopping I love going food shopping It makes me happy

I bought a pint of 5$ organic ice cream Stupid lactose intolerance. They didn't even have good flavors

I'm eating a really hard cinnamon sugar bagel right now, that would be perfect if it was microwaved for a couple seconds

Mourn with me people.

There are 16 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

We shouldn`t be together should we. - Mood:Good
Wednesday April 08 20093:46:19 PM |
He: "so whatcha doing?"
Me: "nothing. In between classes"
He: "ah."
*silence*
Me: "whats new?"
He: "nothing"
Me: oh
*silence*
Me: "whatcha doing tonight?"
He: "i don't know."
Me: "oh. what about tomorrow?"
He: "its my day off"
Me: "..so does that mean nothing?"
He: "well i have a meeting at 1pm"
Me: "ah"
*silence*
He: "so.."
Me: "..yea."
*silence*
He: "so i'm gonna get going"

EVERY DAMN TIME

I can talk for hours. To anyone. About anything. But not him.
Its frustrating.

I don't know.

To anyone on the outside is "durr... why are yall still together??!"

But. I dunno. When we are together in person its different. Maybe we just have lousy phone chemistry?

I think a problem is that i've been all depressy lately.
Maybe if i wasn't, we'd click better?

There are 30 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

F*cking bandwagon. - Mood:Good
Tuesday April 07 200912:11:30 AM |
Ok. I'm bored. Wtf is a twitter?

I vowed to never get tornadoed into it... but i am beyond bored.

so. wtf i am all kinds of confused.

There are 28 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Everybody loves you when you`re easy. Everybody hates when you`re a bore. - Mood:Good
Monday April 06 20096:10:45 PM |
Mehh. Its one of those days... weeks. months.

I'm having issues moving.

I really don't give a f*ck about classes.

I really don't give a f*ck about anything.

I can't stop eating.

Go the f*ck away.

There are 22 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Why does vagina smell like fish? - Mood:Good
Sunday April 05 20099:14:11 PM |
My bf is frustrating the snot out of me and i have no idea why.

I always feel so.. unsatisfied after a day spent with him. Like, i had to restrain myself the whole time from practically molesting him in the movie theatre.. and he barely touched me. Like, even just slight little any kind of touching.
I kind feel like a buddy. Or like i'm convenient. Or like.. he settled or something. Like i'm just easy, and not worth effort or something

Maybe i'm just a girl.

monsters vs aliens was pretty good.
cute.

I don't know. I'm having doubts again! it is normal to have this many doubts about a relationship?
I keep trying to communicate my unsatisfaction, but i can't say WHY i feel that way, so it gets us no where.

I don't expect every outing/every time we see each other to be rainbows and fireworks but.. i dunno. Even sex is all unsatisfying lately! wtf.

Battle chocolate is back on.

There are 47 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Converse with me yo - Mood:Good
Sunday April 05 200912:43:30 AM |
I wanna go on vacation. Whos coming with me and where are we going?

I'm bored.

i wish my bf was here.

I really wanna have a sex talk with someone. A compare and bitch and basking and just general chatting. I need gfs yo.

I am so getting fat. I am a stress eater. Unpleasant.

It was snowing today Its april. That is so not allowed.

anyone wanna come over and play cards, or a board game or something?

its saturday night ffs. and i'm all from getting rejected. and wanted to go somewhere/ do something. but no. i'm sitting alone in my room.

Maybe i'll just watch porn the rest of the night.

Or have sex with the guy down the hall.

Or roll in mud with the girls across the hall. Ooo, no. Jello. More tasty when we lick it off each other.

What are you doing?

There are 75 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Black snake is evil, black snake is all i see - Mood:Good
Saturday April 04 20096:48:53 PM |
I've been awake for 2 hours now and have eaten:
9 mini pancakes
Chicken french
peanut butter bunny
4 mini donuts
2 cupcakes
3 hazelnut chocolate sticks

and i'm still hungry. I don't think i'm hungry so much as bored and semi miserable.

The bf said something about 'taking me out on a real date tonight' but.. i dunno if that actually gonna happen.
Plans seem to always change with us.

I would like to know though, i may not have a life, but i would make other plans/ rearrange my days schedule in my head if they do.

Oh well. I should shower just in case.

And try not to eat the entire contents of my fridge.

There are 7 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Time to prove how crazy and unstable i am - Mood:Good
Friday April 03 200911:23:24 PM |
So my entire life changed course and swirled down the toilet today.

The last shot i had at my dream was shattered into gillions (yes.. gillions) of pieces today.

My bf is over. And... i just... i'm miserable. And i hate being miserable around him. I hate being, at the moment.

He always makes me happy when i'm around him, so he was helping for awhile. But then that turned into manic. God i hate when i'm manic.

Hes sleeping now.

And i really just wanna cut the hit out of my entire body.

Unproductive, i'm aware. But i really don't give a poo.

On one hand, i don't wanna do that to him after all, he is here. On the other hand... i so just want to.

Too bad i don't drink. i would drink myself into oblivion right now.

Good thing i'm not an easily suicidal person. I would so be there right now. But i don't know... i'm still in school, i still have a couple things to look forward to.

There are 53 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

OMG we have to break up right this second. - Mood:Good
Thursday April 02 20097:17:13 PM |
I miss my dogs I have 5. Which is a lot. I love them them all but damn. 5 is a lot.

Yesterday i was thinking about how much i love and miss my dogs

[Spoiler]
Seriously look at the faces


[/Spoiler]

and i was thinking hmm i should get a dog. Then i remembered my bf is allergic to dogs WE MUST BREAK UP RIGHT NOW

oops, i'm late, concert to go to.

I want a cupcake. I think i'll go up to the store tomorrow

There are 21 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

My sweet thing has been calling to me, she sings of the bum bum bum, she lets out a bung bung bung. Said my sweet thing has been calling to me, she sings of the bum bum bum, she lets out a bong bong boong - Mood:Good
Wednesday April 01 20093:28:53 PM |
I hate aprils fools day. Oh yes i do. Always have. I don't do getting pranked, i don't prank.
I tried to very very let it be known to the bf.

I'm still scared though. He's a joker. I hattttte being pranked.

Anyways.

I love harmonizing and/or pretending i'm background singers while listening to music.
I've always wanted to sing karaoke. But i am WAYYYYY too shy and self conscious.

I think its time to change my avy. But hmmm to what

I really wanna try to draw someone naked.

Dr. Phil makes me mad.
But theres nothing else on right now. At least at 4pm Ellen comes on.

So whats up in your life?

Tell me a story from the last few days. Just some little, or big, interesting or uninteresting story from tghe past few days.

There are 14 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Can anyone decipher some japanese for me? - Mood:Good
Tuesday March 31 20099:14:54 PM |
I think its japanese anyway. I'm not entirely sure. Its the name of a dance. "Kei Sai Cho".

Anyone?

To make this an actual journal, i saw a dance. ^ with that title. Friday. It was half nude and very very creepy and cadaverish. Distorted. Good piece though. Think someone said it was a japanese style called Butoh.
Freaky. But awesome.

So, anyone?

There are 23 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

You make me feel like a sticky pistil leaning into a stamen,.. damn skippy baby, you make me feel like the amazon`s running between my thighs - Mood:Good
Tuesday March 31 20097:09:20 PM |
My stomach is actually back to normal However.. i ate a turkey sandwich with turkey that was either 5 days old, or a week and 5 days old. But i'm hungry! and i have no other food!

So pray for me.

I fell asleep all through history and had sex dreams the entire time. I realllly hope i don't talk/move in my sleep.
I tried to get the boy in the mood yesterday. I climbed on top of him for godsake. But he just kissed me, and slowly lowered me to his left, out of the way of the tv, then went back to watching

Hows life?

There are 21 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Dig me my grave, i won`t be saved. - Mood:Good
Monday March 30 20093:40:35 PM |
Audition this morning.

The ballet was.. eh. The modern i think i did pretty well with.

My solo was a disaster!!!!!! Which was supposed to be my strongest part!


Dear god i hope i get in. If i don't... my life will take an interesting turn towards awful.
I will have to take a year off. Which i really really really don't wanna do.
Then i have to find a full time job, and figure out what the f*ck else to do with my life since they won't let me go through with my lifes passion.

So anyway. I have pretzels.

My bf wants to come over and open my acceptance/rejection letter with me "so you don't commit suicide or anything" Pbth. I may cry and throw things, but suicide over not getting into the dance department? Not that day
A couple weeks later maybe After it sinks in and the initial disappointment gives way to horrid depression

I have a cookie too.

There are 33 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Oh itsn`t the day beautiful? - Mood:Good
Sunday March 29 20093:57:08 PM |
Hi everyone

Isn't the world beautiful?

My stomach is SO drated up.

I'm not sure how to right it.

I did figure out how to get in a good mood though Which is lovely.

Audition tomorrow!!!

I am so bumping my audition song thread, help me out!

Oh i showed my bf a video of me dancing, without telling him it was me. Yea. Totally uninterested, said my turns were crap. But said "she has a NICE ass. Not quite as nice as your i don't think. But def a nice ass"

Considering the source and trickery i think that was a pretty good review.

I wonder if my stomach is messed up because of the audition.

We'll see after 2pm tomorrow.

Then i have to wait two week for a accept/reject letter

God i hope i get in.

There are 24 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Help me pick my audition song - Mood:Good
Sunday March 29 200912:39:16 AM |
So i have it narrowed to 4 songs. The song has to be (cut to) EXACTLY one minute long.

Its a modern dance school but i'm better at more hip hoppy fast songs.

song one - in my arms (plumb) (mostly the chorus

song two - down in a cold dirty well (justin nozuka) (from 1:18-2:18)

song three - what sarah said (DCFC) (:26-1:26)

song four - sinking feeling (roisin murphy) ..about halfway through that video ish. i can't find a non live version.

Hmmmmmm.

Whatcha think?

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