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Female, 35 years old
ny, Western US

  Offline - Last On: 272days 12 hours ago

18 Buddies
28 Subscribers
43,215 Profile Views
52,540 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
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i won`t have to anymore jon groff
NicolesLove


Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Theater / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (35 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Married
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Other
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: Donuts
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
 
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

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My goodies, my goodies, my goosies, not my goodies. - Mood:Good
Friday June 11 20104:34:43 PM |
I keep making cookies and everyone else keeps eating them

I made a dozen 2 days ago, ate two, figured i'd eat the rest throughout the week. Then my bf came over and ate the rest
I made about 8 yesterday, awesome ones, chocolate chip and i put crunched walnuts on them I ate two, my grandpa ate the rest.

My grandmas gone for the day. Her and my mom went on a day drip, from 7am-8pm. So thats kinda nice, for them and me, as i almost have the house to myself.
Just gramp. Which could go either way really.

They invited me. But spending 12 hrs in close quarters with my mother and my gram? Oh dear god. No thanks
But mostly cuz where they are going is 3hrs away and i get car sick. To travel 6 hours in a car in 12 hrs, no thanks at all, i'd die.

besides, we are going up in a month for a couple days.

77 days. 17 hrs. 22 minutes.
What was the last trip you took?

There are 11 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Why does the noises and sound for pleasure sound remarkably similar to the sounds made for pain? - Mood:Good
Saturday February 27 201012:49:56 AM |
Has anyone seen amadeus lately? I worried about that kid. She reminded me of me at 13.

I am in SO MUCH pain. A good pain. But still. I had racquetball from 2-4pm, then dance rehearsal from 6-9pm, then worked my ass off on my own dance stuff from 9-12.
OW. MOTHERF*CKING OW.
I got up a couple minutes ago to get a cookie and almost fell down, after yelping

Its a good pain though! I feel productive.

I fought a barre and a barre won though.

I wanna dance with Peppy.

I miss lyntess

zomg lets see how many YTers i can name drop

rawrrr YD

ZOMG I MIGHT MEET UP WITH GRIFFIN IN LIKE.. a couple weeks or so ish.
Exciting

I've been oddly social today. It.. feels weird, and unpleasant, and makes me want to hid in a box

There are 49 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign - Mood:Good
Saturday September 19 20096:55:19 PM |
Or is it rain?

Its one of those nights. Where i can't breathe and would reach out for anyone or anything to sit/ be with me, amke ti stop.

He used to keep it at bay, now hes gone.
I can feel it settling in. I can feel it in my eyes, i can always feel it in my eyes.
Someone snap me back to reality for godsakes.

I want to read cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I used to love that book, and be completely captivated by the pictures.

Make it stop.
Please make it stop.
Come distract me yes?
isketch? skype? sprite pong? come cuddle and watch a mvoie with me? yes? ok


i'll be waiting with cakeballs

There are 8 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Ask me anything - Mood:Good
Friday August 28 200910:14:20 PM |
I'm soooooooo bored my eyebrows are falling out.

So ask me things

i LOVE answering questions. I've been known to fill out surveys for 6 hours straight.

I will try to answer as honestly as i possibly can

Please?

There are 37 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I bought a new dress. - Mood:Good
Friday August 28 200912:11:23 AM |

and have absolutely no where to wear it to. its SO COMFORTABLE though. i just.. have no use for it. yet. i HAD to buy it though. it fit me so well, and felt so good. I had to.
Bought shoes for it to, kinda.
OH we can play a game of "guess how much the dress costs" if anyone wants to guess.

I dyed my hair, as i said i was gonna. And it looks exactly the same Suckage. now i gotta wait like 3 more months to dye it again.

Ask me anything?

There are 50 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I have a hair dying question. Can yall answer it? - Mood:Good
Thursday August 27 20096:56:55 PM |
So i wanna dye my hair tonight. I'm bored and therefore.. it would give me something to do I've had the dye for awhile (not THAT long) and so just wanna do it tonight.

I washed my hair this afternoon, shampoo only.

But the package says 'apply to dry, unwashed hair"

Can i still dye it tonight? If i don't tonight i have to wait a bit and i don't wanna wait but i don't want it to not come out right.

Experiences? Opinions? etc?

There are 19 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

You don`t bring me anything but down - Mood:Good
Friday August 14 20099:37:01 PM |
I feel numb.
Indifferent.
Full of yet not.. feeling a thing.
He can hold me all he wants.
And i just can't feel it tonight.
But want so badly to.
I wanna fight, a restless fight, but yet have no.. motivation.
Blank.
Its unpleasant.
And it gets me into trouble.
Because i try so badly to feel, anything.
Good or bad.
After while, reasoning goes out the window.
I haven't figured out how to bring myself back from numb yet.

How is your evening?

There are 12 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I could use some company - Mood:Good
Friday July 17 20091:44:03 AM |
Even if just words on a screen.

I feel run over by life atm and i have no idea why. I kinda feel like i aged 10 years in the last few hours. And not in a good wisdom gaining way. more like the way drugs age you and give you that wear and tear look.

I kinda feel like i should be naked, in high heels, smoking a cigarette and drinking wine out of the bottle.

I'm only doing one of those things.

Whats your night looking like? Care to chat?

I need some distraction, oh beautiful release.

There are 28 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I have a serious lack of chocolate in the house - Mood:Good
Monday July 13 20099:15:10 PM |
I always have to have a candy bar and some kind of fruity candy in the house, always.
And some kind of dessert. Cake or donuts or such.

I have laffy taffy for my fruity. but no chocolate ITS JUST WRONG
And i was at the store today too.

I already posted it in a thread, but not my own
I made a pizza!
it looks like this:

the mac and cheese part, and the chicken BBQ part is deeeeelicious. I'm not a fan of tomato sauce, that parts for grandpa, so i don't know how that came out.

I'm trying to pretend august/ sept isn't going to come. Thje world is going to stop mid august. Or i'm going to fall into some vertex and come out with my life all figured out.
Its possible.

There are 4 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I got bitched at and called "a selfish bastard` and having `dangerous reckless behavior` by my grandpa. For what, you ask? - Mood:Good
Wednesday June 24 200910:20:44 PM |
(figured as long as no one commented, might as well fix the typos, and other crap, they bother me.)
Dropping a toothpick, which i was unaware of, on the floor. Also for a drip of brownie batter also on the floor. I got lectured and yelled at, and insulted for 'trying to kill the dog' with said toothpick and drip. I'm only making brownies because my mom told me to, because she wants a snack for her girls night in tomorrow night.
God i need to move back out.

I can't figure out what to eat for dinner. Something semi healthy. Since so far today i've had:
- an egg salad sandwich
- a brownie
- tomato salad


I decided on pizza bagels

The carnival is here Which is lovely, since its a tradition to go. But i don't like the food, i don't like the rides, and the games are expensive. Oh well. Gram makes fried dough for afterward. All sit in her garage and chat and eat.
You? Carnivals?

There are 5 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I want to live with the Ingalls - Mood:Good
Tuesday June 23 20097:27:17 PM |
They seem like such awesome people

I'm getting really tired of the drama in my life. I like two boys. Things really aren't as cut and dry as they seem when you are in them yourself.

But anyway. I've been watching a little house on the prairie marathon

I might have a job. A crappy, non stable, terrible paying job for a company that sucks. But still. Better than nothing.
I need something to occupy my time other than sitting around fretting over my relationship, a relationship i want, and wtf i should do with my life/ who i wanna be.

a tornado of bitching and negativity just went through my family room. My grandpa. Holy crap.

I had a good time this weekend Which just makes me head hurt more.

Someone make me stop thinking!!! I think too much. But i can't stop

There are 13 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Calling Australians and those in the know - Mood:Good
Sunday June 14 20098:36:00 PM |
My aunt is going there in october and my family has some questions.I think shes touring all over the place in it.

Whats the weather like mid oct- mid nov?
Whats the coldest it gets?
Are there any 'ancient ruins' type stuff? my aunt loves that stuff.
what are good souvenirs to ask for?
What should she definitely make sure to see?
what should she avoid?
What should she knew before going, and/or be weary of?

There are 58 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Anyone wanna interpret my dream? - Mood:Good
Sunday June 14 20093:25:49 PM |
Lyntess? Anyone?

so i was riding my bike in a hallway of a building on campus. i stopped at a vending machine, still sitting on my bike. i was trying to decide what to get. i was leaning towards the skirt, but i was thinking it might be too small for me. then i felt i was sitting on someone, i kinda freaked a little in my head, like who the drat am i sitting on, when they nibbled my ear. so i turned around and was face to face with joe and i smiled and he smiled, and his smile was so full of love, and then he put his arms around me and held on and it felt SO good, better than anything i had ever felt before, seriously, oh my god that felt SO unbelievably good i can't even describe it. then i started to get lightheaded and started to pass out. so he was like whats wrong, whats going on?
(cont)

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My face is up here, thanks. - Mood:Good
Tuesday June 09 20094:56:21 PM |
I think i need to start talking to a gay guy to actually talk to a male who doesn't think "omg! vagina! vagina! vagina! get in the vagina!!"

I talk to 6 guys on a regular basis, friends mostly. An ex, a current bf in there as well. 4 of the 6 are chronically on the edge of their set, being pervy and trying to get into my pants.1 is my ex, and the other is a friend who is brother-like.

I need girlfriends man. People to talk to who aren't family and who aren't desperate to get in my pants.

Anyway. I got a new phone But it won't work. My old phone won't let me do the whole "saving my contacts and crap" thingy, so i can't activate the new one. BAH. I called the service peoples and they said i had to go to the store and do a buncha crap.

There are 42 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Maybe i should join the army - Mood:Good
Monday June 08 200910:40:44 PM |
Except for the whole.. being in the army thing.

I'm losing my mind.

I can't find a job and i can't sit at home everyday doing nothing.

I'm about 2 days away from laying on the couch all day shoving pizza bagels and chips into my face 24/7 watching america's next top model marathons (...as i may have done today).

My bf hasn't spoken to me in 2 days. Why? No idea. Could be he's busy, could be he hates me, could be cuz he went to idaho for a bit. No idea. He gets online every so often though. Lovely.

I don't do idle well. Not well at all. Someone hire me goddammit.
Or give me a project.
I have no purpose in life!!!!

There are 22 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Paranoia of the day: Blood Clot in my Leg - Mood:Good
Saturday June 06 20094:21:37 PM |
My leg killlllls man. Has seen last night. its not muscle pain, its just this weird.. pain. that goes all the way down my leg, and is mostly in my foot.

Anyway.

I've been better.

I think i made my bf mad.

Which i'm sorry i made him mad, but i'm not sorry for saying/doing what i said/did.
And if we can't get past something like that then its not worth it anyway.

Anyway.
So i'm all blahhh now. I hate when people are mad/upset/ not happy in some way with me. It throws off my chi.

I really wanna IM/text/ etc. But i'm leaving it up to him. I don't wanna be all smothering.

So i'm thinking i might go for a walk, around town. Just me and my zune. Probably end up at the store. But just walk around for about 2-3 hours. And think. Which is a mistake Thinking never ends up positive. But i'd either stay here and think or go walk and think.

Might as well get some exercise.

There are 25 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Anyone got a hot tub they could spare for a bit? - Mood:Good
Saturday June 06 200912:39:11 AM |
I could go for a nice, long, hot soak in a hot tub, or jacuzzi, or i'll even take a shower or bath. (can't right now, grandma is sleeping right next to the bathroom). Just lay there, enjoy the warmth and relax. Maybe with a good book. Or some good company.

Glass of wine. Candle light. Oh maybe a nice massage from a certain someone.

When did i turn into such a cliche man? When did i turn all romance novelesque??? All my little fantasy is missing is a bearskin rug ffs. But is SO sounds so good right now. Maybe i just got old.

You know what else i want? To sit in a hot tub with a guy without being jumped. I don't think i'm quite old enough for that yet.

Anyone? Hot tub? Yes? No?

There are 5 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I was in a terrible mood until i filled out my fafsa - Mood:Good
Thursday May 28 20097:06:04 PM |
I'm old enough to be independent now yay Hopefully that means i will actually get some financial aid now Since i made all of 2,100$ last year

Cross your fingers

Course that gives me no motivation ot get a job now though j/k. I never had any motivation Well. I do, I want a job, i just don't wanna find one. I have to work somewhere in walking distance, that doesn't require me to work with the public. Me and the public don't get along very well.

I feel so unproductive and like a lazy slug when i don't have a job though.

Anyone wanna hire me? I am great at filing and stocking.

Hows your day going?
What would your stripper name be?
My bf said mine is Strawberry Assajiggles

There are 40 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I made fries - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 26 20098:19:06 PM |


(cont)

There are 36 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

. - Mood:Good
Saturday May 23 20094:37:49 PM |
Anyway.

Living with my grandma OH MY GOD i'm gonna lose my mind.

NOTHING stays where i put it. NOTHING. The toothpaste, moved. My cell phone. Moved. My clothes, rearranged. My tiny drawer in the kitchen, rearranged and 'cleaned out'. Ffs, i just started it 2 days ago, it doesn't need to be 'cleaned out'. That drives me insane. I can't stand when someone moves my stuff. If they moved it for a reason i wouldn't care. But no, they move it just to move it.
And go through my stuff! OH how i hate that. I have a crate in the closet. My grandpa went through it, and was trying to throw stuff away from it, and tell me where to put stuff. Um. No. Its my stuff, its staying in my crate.

(cont)

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"if he can sway you into laying around and getting masturbated on, I can sway you into playing videogames for a while " - Mood:Good
Thursday May 21 200910:26:03 PM |
Anyone know where i can play monopoly online with a friend for free? yahoo doesn't have it for multiplayer and i googled my little fingers off and couldn't find anything
Or any kind of long time taking board game really.

Today was uneventful. It was nice out I still have my bathing suit on. which is bad, since its cutting off circulation in a few places.

I miss being able to dance Theres no room here to.

I had the house half to myself for about 4 hours It was wonderful.

Anyone wanna move in with me? Get an apartment? Not move/ eat my brownies?

There are 11 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I moved. From a dirty nasty house to a strict place where i have no space of my own - Mood:Good
Wednesday May 20 20098:37:18 PM |
I moved out of my parents house and into my grandmas house.

Pictures to follow

My room at my house.. i just can't live there anymore. Its disgusting. I've been away at school for 9 months, lived at my grams over christmas. Everything is just.. gross over there. the fridge is all unclean, the bathroom is nasty. My room is infested with mealworms, as is my sister's old room( she moved about awhile ago). Everythings covered in mud and dirt and dust.

We have 5 labs. That doesn't help.

Its just gross and i can't live like that anymore.

Thing is, at home i have my own room.

At grams there is: Grandpas room, grams room, grandpas den, 2 bathrooms, a family room, dining room and kitchen. No room for me. I sleep on the couch in the family room.. but its the family room, gram entertains a lot so i can't leave anything in here.

I miss my dorm. My own space. MINE dammit

There are 19 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh isn`t life full of frosting and gasoline - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 19 200910:15:32 PM |

Hi!

I am in a good mood

Why?

Spent the day with the bf

It really is that easy to make me all

Plus the whole day is all about him and his shop opening and doesn't give me a chance to think, about my future and lack of employment and lack of money.

Plus i get a hug and kiss every so often all day long

I think i'm a weirdo. Are girls supposed to be this.. horny? I feel like there's something wrong with me because i am almost always up for it.

Anyway.

I ate a sugar balloon

I'm kinda hungry. But i don't know what to eat. Only very specific things have sounded good the last few days.
Which meant i went hungry when i had a craving for pickles, and we didn't have any.

I'm not sure what i have a craving for now. Nothing sounds good.
Hm. Those pickles kinda still sound good actually. And i have some now

Hi! *waves*

There are 35 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Put a leash on your bitch - Mood:Good
Saturday May 16 200910:51:09 PM |
So I'm not having a good day.

I'm in a very hating the world, hating everyone, hating myself mood.

Anyone care to join me

pan?

I should go to bed and end the damn day but of course not. why, when i can prolong the agony?

Well, that and i'm hungry

I need to listen to the voice in my head that gets drowned out all the time by people who are trying to help me. I know whats good for me, and not. I know what i can handle, and not. Why do i let peole talk me into poo i don't wana do?

oh thats right, because if i didn't, i'd never leave my room and start living full time in my head.

Popcorn or cinnamon bun?

There are 15 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I almost knocked myself unconscious naked in a public bathroom today. - Mood:Good
Friday May 15 200912:57:22 AM |
Girls are disgusting. i'm sitting in the lounge, making my cinnamon buns, and theres a table of them playing cards burping and farting at each other.

And something on this table is sticky. Thank god, two more days and I am AWAY from freshman. I have 2 more days to keep from murdering one/multiple.

I'm cold.

I should be writing a paper right now. On 3 goals i had throughout the year and if/how i accomplished them. 3 goals: Keeping my head up/focus, self confidence, upperbody strength.

I now have pictures of me and the bf And we are actually really good right now. No issues. Its enjoyable.

I don't wanna go home Don't make me. I don't wanna go find a job, and live with my parents again, and have no freedom and be an adult and be away from dance studios, bf, and friends.

My boobs stopped hurting And i'm not pregnant.

Yay the girls are leaving.

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