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Female, 36 years old
ny, Western US

  Offline - Last On: 652days 13 hours ago

18 Buddies
28 Subscribers
46,287 Profile Views
52,540 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
Link to this profile:

i won`t have to anymore jon groff

Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Theater / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (36 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Married
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Other
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: Donuts
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
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Monday Monday, can`t trust that day./ I have pickles. - Mood:Good
Monday April 01 201311:32:46 AM |
I've been up since 4:30am. Wtf body? I fell asleep ( i tried so hard not to, but my eyes just kept closing) around 9pm, woke up at 4:30am. Ugh. Freaking sleep schedule.

Easter at my families yesterday. Fun times.
Its been 9 months and i still like and enjoy being with and want to be with my boyfriend ! I think thats a new record for me. He went with me to Easter dinner. Hes so darn sweet. My stomach hurt so while i was laid up on the couch he did my laundry for me, at my grams house. I didn't even ask, he took it upon himself. I found me a keeper.

His friends are freaking him out, saying that first relationships never last. Boys are so interesting when they get together. "My friend told me i was pussy whipped. In boy talk that means "i miss seeing you, you spend more time with your gf than us now."" Oh males.

I am of course killing 4 hours til my next class. I got a panini

There are 3 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

another angsty journal. im guessing. since ive yet to write it. - Mood:Good
Friday March 29 201312:35:04 PM |
Im getting tired of fighting with myself to not harm myself. My tolerance for it has so decreased over the past few years since ive had a nice little break from it.

Im sitting in a waiting room. Not waiting for anything. Just hanging out. I tried reading but id read a page and realized i didnt actually process anything my eyes saw.

This is tiring yt.

Get my mind off of poo would ya?

There are 10 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I need a design to tattoo on my arm - Mood:Good
Friday March 29 20131:47:53 AM |
On my forearm. With body paint that is. I did a rose last time, that came out pretty good

but i'm getting tired of greenery.

Ideas? I'm not that good an artist so nothing overly complex please.

In other news. I'm bored. I've spent the majority of today either in the counseling center or asleep. Or curled up on my couch. It feels like a very very long day. Hopefully tomorrow isn't as long feeling.

I haven't eaten much. Bagel and a cookie and a half an hard boiled egg. I'm just not hungry though.

I'm all hot. I don't know why. I'm in a tank top. Its not that hot in here. Maybe i'm having a hot flash or something. I was cold earlier.

Oh YT.
Someone with a magic wand come make me sane.

There are 11 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Today is full of unpleasant, and its only 9am. - Mood:Good
Thursday March 28 20139:25:49 AM |
I woke up wicked agoraphobic but forced myself out the door. Though it took awhile so i was late. I got yelled at for being late. Every social interaction i have no matter how small is wearing on me.

Im tired. But dont wanna / shouldnt nap.

Im hiding up in my spot, in the balcony. My hope is that no one comes thru.
id go to the computer lab and kill time (easier) on fb or here, but id have to run into more people. Id good hiding for now.

I thought about stopping in the counseling center since i have 5 hrs to kill and im pretty urgey and edgy, but the oerson on walk ins is my couples counselor. So thatd be awkward.

Oh yt.
i want to cry.

But i have two cookies. So that helps.


There are 25 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I wonder if I am the only person to utterly depress themselves over spring break - Mood:Good
Monday March 25 201312:36:34 PM |
Apparently relaxation and immersing myself in things i love depresses me. How.. fun.

I spent a lot of my break indulging my broadway love. Youtube helped. Watched full bootleg videos of shows, watched some live recorded ones. Watched clips. Watched interviews. I was in so much broadway heaven.

Yet i am now all.. sullen.
I haven't worked out exactly why yet.
Probably some kind of jealousy/ regret/ feeling old/ subject matter of the shows.

Plus now i have a bunch of projects i've been putting off til 'after spring break' that i now have to do

I was sickly for more than half my break too. That sucked. But i suppose better over break then during classes.

I looked up classes to register for next semester and realized i only have 2 more semesters of classes before i have my bachelors. Nooooo. I graduate dec '14, after semester long internship. Make it stop.


There are 7 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

This journal really doesn`t say anything. I haven`t written it yet, but i`m sure it won`t. - Mood:Good
Friday March 22 20134:19:15 AM |
I'm mostly just bored and typing gives me something to do.

I wish i could bathe in lotion. My skin is so dry its woken me up in the middle of the night.

My stomach kills. Mean. It killed yesterday too, which i understand. Its highly sensitive and i ate some questionable things yesterday. But today all i had was rice, a bagel, crackers, and a pop tart. Owwwwwwww. I had horrid cramps Tuesday, too. This is shaping out to be a painful and unpleasant break.

Plus i proved everyone right. I HATE that.
I had plans to clean my entire apt. Everyone rolled their eyes and outright said they highly doubt i will. I got to the bathroom and kitchen Monday. They are gorgeous. But then debilitating cramps, then stomach issues. Tomorrow I go to my bfs house. I have run out of days. Dammit. I actually like tidying too. I just never have the time/ energy.


There are 16 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

This is why i don`t clean. I don`t want to pee, my toilet is sparkling. - Mood:Good
Wednesday March 20 20134:51:48 PM |
I can't decide between a bagel or eggs.

I do believe i will start in on tidying my living room today.
Usually i like to open my curtains and windows when i clean and tidy. But its like 20 degrees and snowing.

Watching a M*A*S*H marathon. Will eventually watch a movie. I'm thinking a musical.

My mom brought me donuts And i gave her apple crisp.
She developed a bunch of pictures for me (i had them printed to hang around my apt). I offered to pay her back but no. She wants to hang it over my head as owing her. Oh joy.

She also requested easter cookies. Yeah. Because once school starts again i will have so much time to bake cookies. She wants cookie cutter cookies, which are such a pain. Ugh. Why can't i just give her 20$

I finished a good book last night. Good book indeed.

Oh YT. I love spring break.
I also feel bad. Today is my last 'free' day. Bfing. which , but

There are 11 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

YT, i need a cute little movie, but not too cute, to watch right now - Mood:Good
Tuesday March 19 20138:10:10 PM |
I can't think of any! Its got to be a movie i've seen before because i'm going to be baking and cleaning so more listening than watching.

I've recently seen all my feel good movie stand-bys, or they are too cutesy; you've got mail, sleepless in seattle, secret garden, parent trap, fly away home, trouble with angels, when harry met sally, finding nemo, disney movies, shawkshank,
A few of them i'm saving to watch with my bf, dog day afternoon, nell, dead poets society.

Throw out all movie titles that would fit my felt good theme you can think of, please.

Otherwise i will be sitting here driving myself crazy for the next two hours trying to find one instead of making an apple crisp.

There are 33 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

YT, what is this thing called? - Mood:Good
Tuesday March 19 20134:18:57 AM |

the do-hickey in the sink that when you pull the pull-y thing it goes down and plugs the drain? I'm trying to find one to buy and everything i have called it so far is getting me no where

There are 29 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`m in a library. Give me books to check out. - Mood:Good
Monday March 18 20133:57:52 PM |
I generally like young adult books, fantasy/ sci fi.
But i'm running out of those

Title, author, and brief descript, or why you are suggesting please.
I'm not a fan of war books. Or where animals die.

It took 16 minutes for this computer to start up. 16 MINUTES. Jesus f*cking christ.

You have about 20-30 minutes, or however long it takes me to look up stuff in the catalog

There are 65 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Woooo! *flashes YT* *moons YT* *spills her drink all over journals and general* *sleeps with YT but doesn`t remember its name in the morning* - Mood:Good
Sunday March 17 20138:31:50 PM |
Thats what i'm supposed to be doing on spring break, right?

But no. I am boring, and old. I will be spending SB cleaning. And eating. I intend to clean the bathroom, kitchen, and living room. If i have time, bedroom. I also have to clean out and get my fish tank working again.

I bought a bunch of food today for the week. Stuff to make a lemon pie and an apple crisp.

My mole itches.

My bf doesn't have this week off, he's all sad.

I bought chinese for dinner and am so disappointed. I accidentally got spicy stuff on top. I haaate spicy stuff. My lips are just starting to not feel on fire. I didn't wanna eat it. But $6 spent Owie.

I bought eye drops I've never been good at putting sh*t in my eyes. But they hurt. Have for awhile. I'm hoping this stuff helps.

What would you do with a week off and no money?

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YT! I have a story to tell you of the odd happenings to my grandma this past week - Mood:Good
Thursday March 14 20134:28:03 PM |
So.. i'm sorry if this is long, i am incapable of telling short stories.

My gram told my mom a few days ago "Oh, when you see nic (me), thank her for the puzzle that came in the mail from amazon for me." My mother said okay. A day later my Mom is on the phone with me and says "Oh gram says thanks for the puzzle you sent her."

I was confused. I did not sent her a puzzle. She said the packing slip said her (middle name) (last name) and her address to ship to, and the same info for the billing address. Which is odd. Because her usual billing info is (first name) (last name), even though everyone calls her by her middle name.

I shop on amazon with her credit card so it makes sense she'd think it was me. Not a gift from someone because it says "Billed to (her)" as well. Though it was just her birthday.


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Everything smells weird. - Mood:Good
Wednesday March 13 201312:35:42 PM |
I do believe it is the after effects of the cold i had. But its the only thing left. And its freaking weird. Its not unpleasant. Just.. Odd.

I am in the library. Again. Hopefully for the last time. This week and for this project anyway.
I want to strangle APA. Who the f*ck thought of this arbitrary nonsense.

Oh YT.

I slept through my alarms this morning. Guess its time to change them. Once i get too used to the ringtone i don't hear it anymore.
Well, plus i was tired.
Luckily i still woke up in time to high tail it to class on time.
Well, I was 3 minutes late and half asleep but she was 6 minutes late so all was good.

Does anyone enjoy doing paperwork?
I was considering this as my brain distracts me from my paper.
That i want a job without paperwork. That no one enjoys paperwork so why f*cking do it, is it that important? Probably. Its just a rambley thought whose sole purpose

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I`m curly today. And in the library again. - Mood:Good
Tuesday March 12 20139:30:28 AM |
omgeeeeeeerd this is too early to be in the f*cking library. I debated taking a nap. But then i won't wake up for like 5 hours and it'll mess with my night sleeping.

I'm too tired for this paper writing crap.

I may or may not post a picture of my freakish curly half blonde half brown hair.

Is there a morning YT crowd?

I bought a bagel.

Theres a couch calling my name.

Have i mentioned its too early to be in the damn library?

If i nap for an hour id be fine on sleeping later. But i don't think i can drag myself back up after just an hour.


I don't do mornings well.

At least its not raining

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I am combining two of my reasons for being on YT - Mood:Good
Monday March 11 201311:55:30 AM |
1 & 2 to be specific.

I'm trying to find articles. Only 1 can be a 'scholarly article'. I don't know how to find any other article and what makes an article scholarly? All articles are published. As to what they are published in.. whats scholarly criteria?


I have adjusted my research topic. WHich my professor isn't going to like. But my topic wasn't really.. a topic. I kinda fumbled through my oral explanation of it, and i don't know what topic exactly she took it as.
So my topic as of right now is constraints, restraints, limitations and barriers to outdoor play. Title still in progress

I'm at that stage of a cold where everything kinda.. smells and tastes odd, but its not unpleasant. Just like.. and extra flavor. Cold Spice.

WOOO, guys in here left.
Have room to myself
AND i remembered to grab food on my way down.

I'm tired. I wanna go back to bed.

There are 41 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I come to YT at very specific times i have noticed. - Mood:Good
Saturday March 09 201311:19:54 PM |
1) On mondays between 11am-3pm, to kill time between classes.
2) When avoiding homework.
3) When my bf is sleeping and i'm at his house.
4) When something 'worth' writing a journal about happens (there is a very lowwww standard for this)
5) When polling people/ asking for advice

So YT.
Which do you think it is right now?
Please show your work.

I need more juice

my laptop cord is currently suspended midair in my hallway to reach the outlet. This is probably not good for it. But its the closest one

I am eating pizza bagels. I will probably regret this.

We are having a cook out tomorrow. I SHOULD stay home and do work. But.. free food and labradors.


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I have a bunch of bleach on my head right now - Mood:Good
Saturday March 09 20131:31:49 AM |
I'm about.. 60% thinking its going to look like sh*t. But i don't care overly much. At least it'll be different. And its winter, i can get away with wearing hats.

I'm sure tomorrow i'll be with my head in my hands repeating 'what did i dooo?!" but for now.. i'm good.

I want the top highlight darker than the bottom though.. i haven't figured out how to wash out the top of my head without washing out the bottom. Hmm.
Plus i don't know how long to wait to get it the shade i want.

Oh YT.

I feel like britney spears.

There are 58 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Someone come cook me dinner, and make me hot tea. - Mood:Good
Wednesday March 06 20138:11:46 PM |
I'm all sickly. And bored.

I need some good sick food. Mac and cheese and hot dogs or something. Food that only sounds good when sick.

Hot iced tea (yes yes.. i know that makes no sense. I just mean its a iced tea mix, not like, tea bag dunking tea) is about all i can drink without making my throat hurt.

I am all pissy about crap i can't change. Like, being sick. Its not bad if i don't go anywhere or do anything. Like people SHOULD do when they are sick. What makes sickness 100x worse is having to drag your ass out of your home to go to school or work. WHY DO WE DO THIS. I know because we have to and all, but society should change that. Oh, you are sick? Stay home from class/ work and get paid/ class credit. What? Come in??! No, no, no.
Be less disease spreading, probably get over sickness faster, and would be just all around less crappy feeling while sick.


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I refuse to be sick. It works like that, right? - Mood:Good
Wednesday March 06 201312:24:27 AM |
My throat hurts. I keep on the verge of a sneeze 24/7. My nose went one nostril for awhile.
Doesn't the universe know i ride my bike 40 minutes to class in the 15 degree weather everyday? Thats going to be SO unpleasant to do while sickly.

I skipped my morning class today cuz.. screw that. Also skipped counseling. Made it to my afternoon class though. Ugh. Waking up is always the crappiest feeling of the day when sick. Well, and falling asleep.


Went to postsecret event I love those. So many people with dark abusive secrets though.

I feel a little lost lately. Sickness doesn't help.
At least spring break is soon.
I miss having days off to myself. Right now i spend my weekends with my bf. Which i love, and i wouldn't want to change, or i would. But i do miss waking up in my own bed with no where to go and nothing to do for a couple days.

Oh YT.

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I am in a self destructive mood. - Mood:Good
Monday March 04 20135:33:26 PM |
Which is dangerous when riding your bike home through snow and ice.

I am satiating this urge with pizza bagels though. Much pain will follow.

I'm all moody and i don't like it.

I'm hoping food will help.

Not much is new since I last journaled like.. 4 hours ago.

But i'm all bored.

Going to a Postsecret event tomorrow. Woo.

Oh, shoot i am supposed to be looking up Book of Mormon tickets.

Oh YT.


Make emotions go away.

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My boyfriend is a better better academic than me/ I regress to a child while studying. - Mood:Good
Saturday March 02 20132:24:30 PM |
I'm at his house. We have been studying for TWO HOURS and he wants to go for another hour. UGH. I can't study that long straight. He does this every day. I.. can't do that. I am getting antsy and craving social interaction, and wanna go 'play'. I'm trying to write 300 words on a subject that is like 100 words tops which is not helping.

I wanna go play

I don't study well with other people in the room If i was completely by myself i'd be alright. But hes RIGHT THERE, and we only see each other on weekends, and its driving me nuts to sit in silence for 3 hours and not talk to him.
THAT is also a key factor. I HAAATE silence. I sing, i hum, i put on instrumental music, i drum on the desk/ laptop, etc, while i do homework usually.


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i finally had a sex dream!! - Mood:Good
Friday March 01 20132:44:01 PM |
With my bf? No. With a celeb crush? No. With a YTer? No

With Chip Esten from Nashville. He was gooooooood though Damn. Oh brain.

I made a spinach and mushroom omelette, mmmmm.

I have a tomato craving. Tomatoes just don't taste good from october- june. Much much sadness. During the summer i eat about a tomato a day.

I have so much homework, ugh.
I have the day off though. So logically i should do homework today. But then it wouldn't be a day off now would it?

I kept making out with people in my dreams YT. What does that mean??

I wish i had dessert. Nothing big. A cookie. Something.


There are 37 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

oh yt. talk down the crazy person - Mood:Good
Thursday February 28 20132:02:46 PM |
Well not crazy. Anxiety filled. For no reason and reasons.

Really just chat with me yt.

Whats up? Hows things? How's your pet?

I got lunch alll over me :-p it kept falling out of the sandwich tho!

Oh yt.
I wish i knew how to un anxiety myself better

There are 40 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Anyone wanna go on a shopping scavenger hunt with me? - Mood:Good
Wednesday February 27 20135:27:48 PM |
I need a birthday present for my aunt. She is SO hard to buy for.
So i decided this year shes getting socks/ slippers.

Anyone wanna help? only please.

Some kind of slipper sock. Fuzzy perhaps. Cute design, not just stripes or such. She likes to fish, dogs, old cars, etc.

I'm having like, no luck. I think i'm a bad searcher

I'm just generally looking for something she can put on her feet to keep them warm that are cute/ quirky, but not overly cute/ quirky.

I wish i had a better idea of what to get her that she would LOVE. But.. i just have no idea.

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About season 5 Dr. Carter starts to get all fiiiiiiiiiiine - Mood:Good
Tuesday February 26 20131:51:24 PM |

I'm almost out of chicken florentine

We toured a local recreation center today. Holy sh*t. I want to move into that county just so i can use that rec center. The pool area is gorrrrrgeousss. I will post pics in a minute.

I rode up with my professor and two other students. DEAD SILENCE. The entire hour long ride up and back. Holy jesus. Before i left my apt i debated bringing my zune then thought nah, don't wanna lose it or anything. Oh how i wish i had. Or even just worn my hoodie with the built in headphones and listened to my phone.
But facility was gorgeous at least

I thought to myself when i got home, I can either do schoolwork or re-upload songs to my phone. So I am re-uploading.
I don't wanna write an advocacy letter I just don't care enough about an issue to do so.

I am eating a cookie. All is right with the world.


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