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Female, 39 years old
Portland, OR, Western US

  Offline - Last On: 935days 16 hours ago

138 Buddies
154 Subscribers
34,999 Profile Views
102,044 Posts | Member Since: 7/22/2003
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Interests: Feminism / Feminism / Feminism / Books / Books
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:4/18/1983 (39 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Student
Marital Status: Dating
Sexual Preference: Straight
Religion: Agnostic
Politics: Liberal
Fav. Movie: Don`t care
Fav. TV Show: Sex & the City
Fav. Book: Les Miserables
Fav. Song: `Like a Rolling Stone` by Bob Dylan
Fav. Food: Pizza
Fav. Car: Cars are boring
Theme 'sex and booze' created by DoYouWash
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times - Mood:Good
Saturday November 02 20194:33:06 AM |
Been an long time since I posted here, but here's what:

My son's father is next level douche.

I had his baby, life was.. not great, but we were happy enough.

Baby was a big responsibility (his daddy has already peaced out on 2 other kids), and he was OUT. Gotta have some time alone, he said, gotta chill with my buddies, he said.

Truth was, he was finding a new woman, one not tied down with a baby. F*cker left me high and dry and I hate him, but love him too. Hate him more though.

There are 7 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Scary day - Mood:Good
Monday September 10 201812:58:25 AM |
It started off as usual, chilling with my boy, knowing his dad was going to pick up his medicine and take him around 4 or 5 to spend time together.

(I know, his dad is an ass, but I have to let him spend time with our son when so I don't look bad in the upcoming custody battle)

Then, SURPRISE SURPRISE, dad never shows up. Doesn't call or text to say why, doesn't bring the medicine.

I text him, telling him it's typical but still pisses me off and that if he can't even do the basics of being a father, he has no right to complain about child support, because he's obviously not going to support his child by his own volition.

A few minutes pass, and there's his pick-up, hauling ass into my driveway. I was outside playing with baby, but apparently he didn't see us and just walked right into the house.

There are 51 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Edited for bad words: Baby daddies suck - Mood:Good
Tuesday September 04 20181:07:02 AM |
Asked my baby's dad to take him for a couple of hours, since he hasn't had him at all in nine days.
He says he's sick.

He's ALWAYS sick. Or busy. Or has a "side job." Or, or, or...

His true feelings were finally shown:

There are 46 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

DUMPED!!! - Mood:Good
Sunday July 29 20181:04:27 AM |
OK, so I have attempted to dump my boyfriend many, many times but it never works. He just refuses to be dumped and shows up in my personal space insisting we are still together.

I cave and moronically think he's going to be better. Blah, blah, blah, ad nauseum! I'm sick of it and everyone who knows me is sick of it.

However, today I didn't leave room for weaseling around. I told him in no uncertain terms that we are DONE and renounced responsibility for all the sh*t (bills and paperwork and whatnot) I've been taking care of for him.

We still have to see each other often because of our most beautiful and precious son, but the truth is, he's not that into being a dad, so hopefully I won't have to see him much, although I do want him to be there for his son as much as possible.

Craziest thing is I feel happy and LESS lonely now that I've left him than I did WITH him.

There are 14 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I guess everyone hates me now - Mood:Good
Saturday July 07 20182:14:00 AM |
Not everyone.

I am being dramatic, which is what I do. It's what I've always done. But there was some drama going on that I thought was entirely unfair and overblown. Karma, perhaps, since I LIVE for overblown drama.

Anyway, speaking of people hating me, now that I'm telling my son's father that he has no legal rights to our boy, his family is going to be pissed and probably tell lies about me. Big sh*t. If you want to be in your son's life, BE IN YOUR SON'S LIFE!

I'm tired of begging and forcing you all the time to spend fifteen f*cking minutes with him.

Photo ops are all he wants, and he gets them. I give them to him because I want a perfect life for my boy, and time with daddy is healthy and good for him. I would never stop that.

I fake it on social media all the time, but it's obnoxious.

Oooooh... let me tell you about Fourth of July because here is the juciness

There are 48 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I am a first time mother, so sue me - Mood:Good
Monday April 23 201810:23:31 PM |
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am whoring these pics because it's what we do.

Thus, here they are. My son refusing to smile with me, and then being vaguely amused at my dumb face.

There are 14 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Washie used to be fun - Mood:Good
Thursday March 22 20181:27:27 AM |
Sometimes I spend the majority of my day wishing I was DOING something.

I mean, I AM doing things, but those things boil down to taking care of my (beautiful, darling) son.

Meanwhile, the other love of my life, whom I will not call my "baby's daddy" because I find that phrase reductive, goes to work, goes out, and lives an interesting life.

I have to admit that I envy and sometimes even resent him. He's doing nothing wrong, but dammit, he gets to have a life! I often yearn to get out of the house, go to work, meet interesting people an do interesting things, but... well, I got this baby.

And I chose this. WE chose this We both wanted our son to have a stay-at-home mom. I can't even imagine leaving him all day with someone else but I sometimes feel like I don't exist as myself anymore. I'm just Amadeo's mom.

Daddy gets to go out and spend time with our friends, I am now ghost mom.

There are 13 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`m only posting here because my friends, family, and lover would not understand - Mood:Good
Friday June 03 20164:55:29 AM |
So, I've sworn off this site, and I don't think I'll be back often, but it was the only place I could think of to vent without drawing concern from people I know IRL.

I am SUPER depressed. I mean, VERY. I love my boyfriend, and we were talking about getting married and trying to have kids, but the truth is that I'm not good enough for him. I'm not good enough for anyone.

If a person could live their life in bed, sleeping, dreaming, unaware of the world around them, that's what I'd like.

I'm not good enough for anyone, and I feel sorry for people who have me in their lives. My boyfriend, especially. He has so much potential and I am just a scab on his life. In the past I was an asset, now I'm lust worthless.

My God, I am SO SAD right now. Like, suicidal sad, except I'm even to much of a p*ssy to go through with it.

There are 100 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Shut your face - Mood:Good
Sunday January 03 20161:43:13 AM |
Like, I hate when people give me "the look."

Chill the f*ck out and mind your own business.

I say this because I went to a convenience store tonight and could not be bothered to get all dolled up. Me and the cashier are homies, we're cool, we chat.

So, I go in tonight with my bruised nose and black eye, and she treated my like she pitied me or something.


Bitch, I am A+ (mentally, not like I think I'm hot, because I don't).

There are 40 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I can`t even deal with hypocrites that I love - Mood:Good
Monday December 21 201510:28:12 PM |
I can't stand the hyprocisy.
The short story is, in six words, my boyfriend is mad at me.
Let's place a little backstory in here.
I have one ex-man that I very rarely keep in touch with, but he's still someone I consider a great friend. Like, if he needed help, I'd be there for him, but we talk maybe twice a year. My boyfriend can't handle that. He hates it. Demands I cut off all contact.
I MIGHT be able to accept this, BUT he is friends with many of his exes, and I am cool with it. Not even cool, but HAPPY about it. I honestly feel that it's awesome that he and his exes are friends and talk on a regular basis. No jealousy at all.
There are 31 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Finally.. my first Christmas as a married woman. - Mood:Good
Thursday December 10 20151:10:53 AM |
OK, so I'm not ACTUALLY married, but I'm 32 years old and this is the first time my significant other is going to spend a "family" Christmas with me.

My family is very... what's the word? Traditional? Like, if you aren't married, you aren't family.

But, the thing is, my honey is more family to me than they are, and we've been together for four years and live together, so... like, ACCEPT him.

There are 52 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Mommy, daddy, why don`t you love me? - Mood:Good
Sunday November 29 20155:55:20 AM |
I feel like I have alienated my family.

When I try to reach out to them, I get ignored. I mean, WHAT? No matter what, your parents should love you and be there for you, right?

And I know some people think I'm a "mooch," but I really want nothing from them, except to talk. Why are they ignoring me? I feel like I'm being punished.

I'm probably just a psycho, but I feel very uncomfortable about this.

There are 17 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Who is DoYouWash? - Mood:Good
Friday November 13 20152:48:54 AM |
That's the question I keep asking myself, although I don't actually refer to myself as "DoYouWash."

I mean, I have become so utterly consumed with being my boyfriend's girlfriend that I am... I am? Am I?

I honestly can't really think of myself as a person without relation to him.

If he and I were to break up, I would be at a loss. I mean, seriously, I would be totally at sea. What has HAPPENED to me?

There are 32 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I love having my period - Mood:Good
Friday November 06 20151:14:32 AM |
Here's why:

My boyfriend and I live in a one bathroom dwelling, and for some odd reason, we tend to need to always use it at at the same time. It's actually very uncanny how we how stand up and say, "I need to pee," at the same time.

Then I can just say, "Dude, my uterus is shedding and I'm gushing blood. Me first!" I always win.

There are 18 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`ve decided to become involved with politics - Mood:Good
Wednesday November 04 20152:39:37 AM |
Here's why:

I am a master bullsh*tter.

Like, I'm not trying to brag, because this is actually just a testament to my laziness and ability to weasel out of things.

I write papers and with a cursory glance at Wikipedia and some random quotes from academic journal article voila! A+

Again, I'm not saying that I'm so smart, it's just that I've found my calling: using as little information as possible to bullsh*t others into thinking that I have something relevant to say.

This is my niche. I love it.

Also, bitches on YT who wanna comment, "Well, you sure never impressed me!" DUH. I don't have the motivation to spend the time to give you my golden material

There are 83 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

None of those journals were mine - Mood:Good
Saturday October 31 201511:52:57 AM |
Boyfriend got a little prissy and decided to spAm my HOME.

Bitxh gonna pay.

There are 4 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I want to retort - Mood:Good
Saturday October 31 201511:06:29 AM |
I am a peace of poo for talking about my boyfriiend and not myself. I am a low life. why is that i speak of my own insecurities and unable to speak about myself. My life should only matter to those who want to hear it. Yet I speak of other in my life. Why is it that it so easy to talk about others and not my self. I have the knowledge, yet i comfort myself with others. I have no place, I have no comfort, I have no sense of belonging, yet I have so much to say. I am with no identity. I am without culture. Where do I belong ....I speak for the unspoken truth. I talk and yet i speak for the others. I am an Identity that has no boundaries and yet i speak for the others. who am i and who do i speak for
There are 7 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

i care - Mood:Good
Saturday October 31 201510:51:17 AM |
I realllly care about you. I don't want to leave
There are 2 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

is this my last journal entry - Mood:Good
Saturday October 31 201510:48:39 AM |
No, this isn't because your replies don't mean poo to me.
There are 7 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

i am crying right now - Mood:Good
Saturday October 31 201510:47:03 AM |
why? because its true. I need you all to say and repy so i feel better about myself
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I need others - Mood:Good
Saturday October 31 201510:45:04 AM |
I need others opinion to feel better about myself
There are 2 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I am a low liffe peice of poo\ - Mood:Good
Saturday October 31 201510:43:51 AM |
I lie to myself when i speak here and have no life but to put myself on here and propose myself as better than others
There are 16 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

bullsit - Mood:Good
Saturday October 31 201510:41:10 AM |
my boyfriend is posting this poo and he doesn't understand the negligence and the overt for disrespect for I am speaking for myself, when i say that i am a dirty ass women. I fall as leep with food in my bed. I have crusty ass food in my bed that has been there for many days

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bullsht\i - Mood:Good
Saturday October 31 201510:35:10 AM |
I a m a piece of poo for talking about my boyfriend.. I have no other reason to talk but to put him down

i am here saying that i am not trying to put him down

There are 31 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

You are not better than anyone. - Mood:Good
Wednesday October 28 201511:22:35 PM |
I was taking a sweet little walk this evening, and I noticed, out of the corner of my eye two men on the other side of the street. They certainly looked worse for the wear, so I surmised that they were homeless.

I didn't really pay attention, these were like 5-second flash-judgements, because I was lost in my own thoughts. They had just been yelling, so I'd looked their way.

As I'm thinking about this and that, I hear, loudly, "I SAID, HEY LADY!"

I stopped and turned, and one of the men was raising his voice in direction. I yelled back (it was sort of loud with the traffic), "YES?"


I acknowledged that I did, and then began digging through my purse because I actually had TWO, and I wanted to find the older one.

He said, "Can I borrow it?"

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