They probably think their selfless behaviour makes them popular but the truth about 'do-gooders' is nobody really likes them, according to new research.

A series of studies found that those who volunteer to take on unwanted tasks or who hand out gifts without being prompted, quickly alienate themselves.

Psychologists believe this is because it makes the rest of us feel guilty and puts pressure on us to behave in an equally selfless fashion.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1305716/Nobody-likes-gooder-Study-confirms-selfless-behaviour-alienating.html#ixzz0xdV1Rjr3
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1,791 hits 4.0 (1 vote) Share Favorite | Flag 11 years ago by KikiPeepers

Do you alienate selfless people?
They probably think their selfless behaviour makes them popular but the truth about 'do-gooders' is nobody really likes them, according to new research.

A series of studies found that those who volunteer to take on unwanted tasks or who hand out gifts without being prompted, quickly alienate themselves.

Psychologists believe this is because it makes the rest of us feel guilty and puts pressure on us to behave in an equally selfless fashion.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencet...


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11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Wednesday 8/25/10 - 6:33:42 PM EST (GMT-5)
I don't know anyone who is selfless. They're always in it for some reason.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Wednesday 8/25/10 - 6:38:26 PM EST (GMT-5)
I don't know. Maybe no more than I alienate most people. Then again, when I actually WANT to alienate someone they seem to like me more.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Wednesday 8/25/10 - 9:31:18 PM EST (GMT-5)
No. I like my selfless friends. They do kind things for me and usually, as far as I know, expect nothing back.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Thursday 8/26/10 - 8:43:59 PM EST (GMT-5)
Iwouldnt say so. I mean no one likes a goody good, but its more because nobody likes a kiss a-s-s. If someone is volunteering at a nursing home I would think that is great. But if someone is volunteering to wash the chalk boards everyday for the teacher then I would just assume they are a pet
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Friday 8/27/10 - 8:50:03 AM EST (GMT-5)
Sometimes. They often tend to be annoying.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Friday 8/27/10 - 5:38:25 PM EST (GMT-5)
Not at all. I rarely encounter someone who I would consider to be selfless. It's a breath of fresh air, really.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Friday 8/27/10 - 9:52:03 PM EST (GMT-5)
No, theres only one person I have ever met that I consider selfless and we were fast friends
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Friday 8/27/10 - 9:54:59 PM EST (GMT-5)
"They probably think their selfless behaviour makes them popular..."

That's an asinine statement. A selfless person doesn't do things for him/herself - hence the term "selfless". They think solely of the people they're helping.

Quite frankly, I wish more people had such an attitude for helping people. Selfless people are inspiring.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Saturday 8/28/10 - 4:57:40 AM EST (GMT-5)
I don't know any selfless people.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Saturday 8/28/10 - 10:50:37 AM EST (GMT-5)
Kind of, it depends on how much they do it.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Saturday 8/28/10 - 2:32:36 PM EST (GMT-5)
True selflessness, I think, is admirable.

False selflessnes, however, is worse than obvious selfishness.


A seemingly selfless person is like a deal that's too good to be true. Let's say a guy volunteers at an old folks' home every weekend. That' alone is great. Let's say this same guy puts on airs when he talks about it, and then asks "what did YOU do last weekend?". What about when senior citizens come up in conversation or debate, and he suddenly becomes an infalliable authority on everything related to senior citizens? How noble is this volunteer when he uses his good works to try to claim a moral high ground over others, and becomes condescending?

People like this theoretical volunteer are like the people who go to church on Sunday so they can sin all week. They give the true believers- the true selfless people -a bad name.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Saturday 8/28/10 - 4:25:44 PM EST (GMT-5)
No I do not. I don't know about this study. I alienate selfish people, not selfless.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Thursday 9/2/10 - 1:01:34 AM EST (GMT-5)
No i would never.
11 yrs ago, 8 mos ago - Tuesday 9/21/10 - 1:53:40 PM EST (GMT-5)
So being nice and doing a good job makes people hate you?

Your Most Helpful Colleague (Don't You Hate Him?)
11 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Tuesday 3/15/11 - 12:51:00 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Wednesday 8/25/10 - 6:33:42 PM HaroldtheBat wrote:
I don't know anyone who is selfless. They're always in it for some reason.




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