Like seriously yo. There is SOMEthing wrong with me. It can`t be stress, i really don`t have any. My classes are mad easy. Yet here i am. Insane. Holed up... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of NicolesLove | mood: Good

I am losing my f*cking mind.

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13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:13:48 PM EST (GMT-5)
Like seriously yo. There is SOMEthing wrong with me. It can't be stress, i really don't have any. My classes are mad easy.

Yet here i am. Insane. Holed up in my dorm room. Skipping classes left and right. Sleeping forever during the day then staying up all night walking around outside doing crazy things.

I'm falling apart. And i'm not entirely sure what to do about it. Because i'm not shattered. I'm not bottom. So if i do something about it i'd end up having to go lower before i can go higher.

And losing things. Like drating college. Freedom. Friends. Dance. Freedom.

F*ck. So. I'll stick with bitching on forums for now.

13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:15:00 PM EST (GMT-5)
Maybe some therapy would help just the same?
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:15:36 PM EST (GMT-5)
Let's dance.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:16:15 PM EST (GMT-5)
I was doing that. It wasn't doing poo.

Ohhh lets
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:17:31 PM EST (GMT-5)
Be careful, the mods might give you a thirty day YT break for your own good.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:17:35 PM EST (GMT-5)
I googled "awww it's okay" and came up with this. I hope it expresses my sympathies.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:18:28 PM EST (GMT-5)
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:20:30 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 11/3/08 - 4:17:31 PM thh wrote:
Be careful, the mods might give you a thirty day YT break for your own good.


I'm in the sander boat on that one. YT helps me more than hurts. Actually YT really doesn't hurt me at all. But please don't try
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:21:11 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 11/3/08 - 4:17:35 PM lyntess wrote:
I googled "awww it's okay" and came up with this. I hope it expresses my sympathies. [image]



Hahaha. Aww. Thanks
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:23:00 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 11/3/08 - 4:13:48 PM NicolesLove wrote:
Holed up in my dorm room. Skipping classes left and right. Sleeping forever during the day then staying up all night walking around outside doing crazy things.


That's my kind of sane btw...

Maybe a lil seasonal depression? The fall is reknown for that. Mine usually happens around February / March.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:24:26 PM EST (GMT-5)
it'd be all seasonal then. i got similar last spring. And a winter in HS.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:24:44 PM EST (GMT-5)
Mmmmm stale donut....
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:40:03 PM EST (GMT-5)
Oh girl, you know it, dumpster divin' at Tim Horton's, now there's a splendid way to spend a Saturday night.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 4:47:29 PM EST (GMT-5)
*hug*

I feel ya. Get better soon.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 5:05:06 PM EST (GMT-5)
I know what you mean. I'm the same. I had a 3.7 gpa and then I failed two classes. I'm really f*cked, and it's for no good reason. Except that I can't bring myself to do any work. It feels like a huge wall even for the easiest stuff. I stay up all night because I need to do something and then I don't do it, and I dread everything.

SO I feel ya.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 5:24:27 PM EST (GMT-5)
I wish i could either get the drat rid of this or completely go stark raving mad. This in between, teetering on the edge of sanity and insanity is worse than the thing itself. Cuz i can always at the last minute pull myself back, just enough. Act sane for the nice policemen. But i'm still not right. But i know and fear consequences. If i was raving mad i wouldn't give a poo.

Sometimes i wish i couldn't pull myself back, ya know?
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 5:26:01 PM EST (GMT-5)
Down the rabbit hole you go girl, let go, stop holding, hitting the bottom is where it's at.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 5:36:12 PM EST (GMT-5)
i know what you mean, but i HAVE to graduate college. that's not an option. But what would happen if you hit rock bottom? Would you go to a mental hospital and get medicated up? What would happen after, would anything be any different?
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 5:38:19 PM EST (GMT-5)
Many reasons that can't happen:

I will (hahaha) lose my mind in a mental hospital. I was in a psych ward for a total of 6 hours once and oh dear God. I can't do that.

I am anti medication. And i don't think i'll be given a choice.

I am 23 years old trying to get my ba/bfa in dance. I am old as drat for a dancer. I can't delay that anymore.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 5:38:34 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 11/3/08 - 5:26:01 PM le_berger wrote:
Down the rabbit hole you go girl, let go, stop holding, hitting the bottom is where it's at.


I like that.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 5:42:45 PM EST (GMT-5)
I like sauerkraut as sex food.
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 5:51:13 PM EST (GMT-5)
Alrighty.. I will keep that in mind..
13 yrs ago, 10 mos ago - Monday 11/3/08 - 5:54:30 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 11/3/08 - 5:42:45 PM le_berger wrote:
I like sauerkraut as sex food.


WTF?



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