You know that scene in the last Matrix movie where Agent Smith asks: "Is it over?" Yeah I feel that way about this pandemic. I really wish things would go... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of EhFahQ | mood: Depressed

Hi. It`s been X days

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1 yr ago, 2 mos ago - Monday 3/1/21 - 11:19:35 AM EST (GMT-5)
falter


Field.


Dawn.


Turn into - 1:33


Artificial.


Ever so.
1 yr ago, 2 mos ago - Monday 3/1/21 - 11:33:51 AM EST (GMT-5)
560 days later and I don't know if I feel any better. At least created something though.

It's been a year since I had a smoke. Don't know the exact day, this was a really tough time last year. My girlfriend and decided March 1st would be 1 year because we can't remember.

I still want a smoke every single day.

We went out to eat for the 1st time in a year on Saturday. Since the people around us got the vaccine, it made it much easier to deal with. It felt nice, but also really weird. The place only has 2 tables outside. Really good plant based food, and they donate 2% of their profits to a No Kill organization.

I hope things go back to normal in the next 6 months. I'm so tired.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT2...
1 yr ago, 2 mos ago - Monday 3/1/21 - 6:30:59 PM EST (GMT-5)
This April will be 7 years without a smoke for me.

I still want a smoke every single day.
1 yr ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 3/7/21 - 10:56:42 PM EST (GMT-5)
Your photos are so great!
1 yr ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 3/7/21 - 11:47:26 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 3/1/21 - 6:30:59 PM bgraham23 wrote:
This April will be 7 years without a smoke for me. I still want a smoke every single day.


congrats! i think it's been 4 years without a cigarette myself, but i wasn't a pack a day guy, just smoked at social events.
1 yr ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 3/12/21 - 12:11:01 PM EST (GMT-5)
Snowy bridge.


Normal.


Attach.


Wind down.


Mine.


Ache.


Knot.
1 yr ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 3/12/21 - 12:13:52 PM EST (GMT-5)
Tucked away.


Sputter.


Hurry up.


Half.
1 yr ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 3/12/21 - 12:20:10 PM EST (GMT-5)


After a long 2 month season, my crew came in 1st place in RB Rivals. I still can't believe it.

Anyways, I'm exhausted. I haven't had a good night sleep in weeks. Lucid dreams, bad dreams, restless legs. I am barely functioning and my mental health is really really low. I am so over life.

Wish I had some good news to share. At least I have some good pictures. Going 600+ days with my art therapy project.



On Monday 3/1/21 - 6:30:59 PM bgraham23 wrote:
This April will be 7 years without a smoke for me. I still want a smoke every single day.


That's amazing man! Don't know if I'll make it that far. I hope I will though. At this point I don't drink, smoke and when I smoke/use pot I get anxiety. It's f*cking lame.
1 yr ago, 1 mos ago - Tuesday 3/23/21 - 11:19:18 PM EST (GMT-5)
Thanks for the awesome content.

You should do a Patreon, people like you and would pay for your content, unless that's not a concern.
1 yr ago, 1 mos ago - Wednesday 3/24/21 - 9:48:39 AM EST (GMT-5)
I don't need money for my art. Once it's out there it isn't mine anymore. You can just donate to this instead:

https://primatesinc.com/


Sleep.


Rested.


Make me.


All over.


Indent.


Tenderness.
[img]http://media.youthink.com/images/2021/03/24/2870515_503563_ECEE3FD8-96AF-9934-D5
1 yr ago, 1 mos ago - Wednesday 3/24/21 - 9:52:29 AM EST (GMT-5)
drub


Growing near.


Us.


Soundness.


Suspended.


Pieces.


I bought a real camera. Getting ready to submit for publication for the first time. Ready to drive off a cliff.
1 yr ago, 1 mos ago - Tuesday 4/13/21 - 11:13:25 AM EST (GMT-5)
Oh look this thing works again.

So I got my first shot of the vaccine. I was really sick for several days. Finally feeling decent enough to work and function. Not like I've been functioning that well anyways. Just barely getting enough done.

I did a Zoom NAMI meeting last night. It's been about 5 or 6 months since my last one. It was good but also not good. I don't have the mental energy to help anybody right now, or even be a proper friend to anyone.

I got a new macro lens for my camera on Friday. Can't wait to try it out.

Arch.


Simple.
1 yr ago, 1 mos ago - Tuesday 4/13/21 - 11:18:14 AM EST (GMT-5)
Approach.


Eventide.


Heavy eyes.


Wave.


Let.


Doat.


'neath
1 yr ago, 1 mos ago - Tuesday 4/13/21 - 11:28:03 AM EST (GMT-5)
Silver.


Hold in.


Vest.


Brew.


Sliver.


Wonted.



1 yr ago, 1 mos ago - Tuesday 4/13/21 - 11:31:24 AM EST (GMT-5)
Jab.


Halfway.


Bleary.


Meetings.
1 yr ago, 1 mos ago - Tuesday 4/13/21 - 3:51:04 PM EST (GMT-5)
Love the water pictures so much. I can look at them all day honestly
1 yr ago - Tuesday 4/20/21 - 1:50:24 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Tuesday 4/13/21 - 3:51:04 PM HunnyDew wrote:
Love the water pictures so much. I can look at them all day honestly


Thank you. I like water pictures too, they are coming out better with my new camera. It's hard to get a good texture and good light.

Four.


Pure.


Distract.


Touch.


Snip.


I have more but its not w
1 yr ago - Friday 4/23/21 - 4:49:53 PM EST (GMT-5)
Mesmerize


Dropped.


Staid.


Miniature.


Cloak.


My grandma is dying of cancer. She doesn't want to see any of my moms kids because she hates my mom and cut us out. I'm sad, confused, angry. I've decided to just feel empty right now.

I'll just take more pictures.
1 yr ago - Saturday 4/24/21 - 3:32:24 AM EST (GMT-5)
I'm sorry to hear that :( family can be confusing a lot of the times
1 yr ago - Wednesday 4/28/21 - 11:06:44 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Saturday 4/24/21 - 3:32:24 AM HunnyDew wrote:
I'm sorry to hear that :( family can be confusing a lot of the times


It's all really f*cked up. She's my last Grandparent. I wasn't even able to go to my Grandpa's funeral. I actually found out he passed away when I saw a picture of his funeral on my cousins Instagram.

Widen.


Current.


Similar.


Unison.
1 yr ago - Wednesday 4/28/21 - 11:08:37 AM EST (GMT-5)
Reason.


Going to see the Grunion Run on Friday night in San Pedro. It's the time where people are not allowed to catch them, because I really don't wanna see that. I'm ready to disappear.
1 yr ago - Thursday 5/13/21 - 9:42:50 AM EST (GMT-5)
Streak


Strum


Recess


Ring


Midst


Rightabout
1 yr ago - Thursday 5/13/21 - 9:46:43 AM EST (GMT-5)
Forlorn


Close


Reel


Second


Throe


Wisp


Rest
1 yr ago - Thursday 5/13/21 - 9:54:44 AM EST (GMT-5)
Reset


Cease


So I got my second vaccine shot and it knocked me out for 3 days. I was really sick and it was totally worth it. I know it hasn't kicked in yet but I already feel safer and less anxious. I also really enjoyed the time off and away from the world

I got a new super macro lens for my camera. It is insane how close you can take pictures. Really looking forward to doing some weird abstract stuff with it

Mass Effect comes out today and I am stoked. I've been through it a few times but I don't care

I'm doing group therapy again and I think it's helping. I still need to do more though

My grandma is having surgery. She still doesn't want to see us
11 months ago - Thursday 5/27/21 - 11:12:42 AM EST (GMT-5)
N7


Pace.


Weight.


Dissipative.


Hew.


Mire.


Mislaid.

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