(48 Years Old)
(Decline to State)
IM Name: |
|Occupation:|| Wastewater treatment plant opperator|
|Fav. Movie:|| Jacobs Ladder|
|Fav. TV Show:|| Air Wolf|
|Fav. Book:|| Winds of War/War and Remembrance by H. Wouk|
|Fav. Song:|| Echos- Pink Floyd|
|Fav. Food:|| pizza|
|Fav. Car:|| 69 Lincoln Continental Mark III||
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries
| After 30 years-30 days not smoking - Mood:Good|
Thursday November 16 201712:23:26 PM |
|The patches have helped but the support I've been getting has helped more. I truly appreciate it. It's a mental struggle as much if not more than it is a physical one. Sometimes I resist the urge because I remind myself I'm breathing easier. Sometimes it's because food tastes better. Sometimes it's because it will make it easier to get a date if I decide to do that. But usually it's because I don't want to let my friends down. Yeah, living longer is cool but without the respect of my friends it just wouldn't be worth it. I know no one would disown me if I started again but I don't want to disappoint my kids, family and friends. After all, I didn't decide to keep living for me so of course my motivation is outside.|
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| Nearly half way to my first major goal - Mood:Good|
Tuesday October 31 20172:24:50 PM |
|So it's past noon on day 15 of not smoking. The thought of getting to 30 days is a big motivator for me. Not sure if I should get myself something or just enjoy the accomplishment. Yes I'm counting chickens but I've never made it this far before without cheating so I'm really optimistic.|
Taste is coming back. I'm putting less salt and pepper on things and it's still too much.
I'm where I want a cigarette but I don't need one.
I still get a little scatterbrained but for the most part I can concentrate. Glad that part is over.
So I guess I can start doing other things now instead of putting all my efforts into resisting.
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| I`ve made it a week. - Mood:Good|
Tuesday October 24 20172:45:55 AM |
|So I haven't smoked at all for a week, not even one puff. That's the longest I've quit in over 2 years .My all time record is 26 days and that's not even a real record. I cheated multiple times. That record is 26 days of trying to be quit .So in 20 more days I'll beat my false record .|
Some of you might be getting tired of my quitting smoking updates but really that's the only thing I'm doing . I didn't do crap on my vacation except hang out with my dad and my friends .I couldn't concentrate enough to do anything productive .The last 2 days I've been at work but the withdrawals have subsided enough I didn't screw anything up thank goodness .
I just wanted to say thanks to everybody who has been supportive it really has helped . My new goal is to make it to double digits .I'm optimistic that will happen .
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| The first day was successful - Mood:Good|
Wednesday October 18 201712:25:22 PM |
|I made it all day yesterday without smoking but today I had to put a patch on to keep from going insane .I don't know why the 2nd day is always harder for me.|
My short term goal is to make it to 3 days without cheating I haven't done that all year
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| So far so good - Mood:Good|
Monday October 09 20178:10:18 PM |
|So it's been a week since I started weaning myself off of cigarettes using the timer on my phone. I started with an hour after I finished smoking and now I'm up to an hour and a half and I haven't cheated once. I only smoked 11 yesterday. |
I was talking to my friend and she challenged me to get it down to 5 before I quit next Tuesday. I think this is a great idea because adding 5 minutes has been pretty easy and quitting for good isn't easy. Also I need to get more practice telling myself no and I'll feel like I have more to lose when I'm tempted to cheat when I quit.
So starting tomorrow I'm going to add 15 minutes each day.
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| I need help picking out a video game for my son`s 14th birthday - Mood:Good|
Monday October 02 20178:36:41 PM |
|He has an Xbox One and every Halo game there is. That's his favorite. The console came with Battlefield one he likes that too.|
I'm not a gamer and I have absolutely no clue. Any help would be appreciated.
I asked his mom for a list of the games he has a week ago and she still hasn't got back with me. So if you guys could come up with the top 5 list or something I'll run the names by her and pick the highest ranking one he doesn't have
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| So I failed again - Mood:Good|
Monday October 02 20175:11:11 PM |
|I've been trying to quit smoking every Sunday for the last month. I usually only make it a day or two. Yesterday was easy because there's not much going on at work and I had a friend I was texting all day to keep my mind off of smoking.|
But today I was going crazy. I had to calibrate the pH meter 3 times before I got it right, I screwed up the paperwork multiple times, I forgot to turn off the sump pumps and start the waste and my boss had to tell me to do things over and over again.
So after lunch I gave up and bought a couple packs.
My concentration is sh*t when I'm trying to quit.
I can't put into words how bad I want to quit so I come up with this solution. Jackie is going on vacation next week and when he gets back on Tuesday the 17th I'm going on vacation. I'm taking off Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday then I get my regular days Friday and Saturday off.
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| So I checked out for like a year or so. - Mood:Good|
Wednesday September 20 20177:35:58 PM |
|Since before I moved in this house in December I've been doing the bare minimum. Go to work, get home and lay in the bed watching TV until I fall asleep. There was quite a few weeks I skipped mowing the lawn. And quite a few nights I didn't eat because it was too much effort to throw a TV dinner in the microwave.|
Funny thing is at the time I didn't think I was depressed.I guess I've climbed a little higher out of the pit of despair and looking down on where I was isn't pretty.
I wish I could put a finger on what made me start climbing up again. I think the trigger was looking down on the pony keg I'm carrying and deciding to get rid of it.
Getting up and moving is a good thing. I've always heard exercise was good for you mentally and now I'm a believer. Last night I didn't sleep well and I didn't want to do anything today.
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