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Male, 30-39

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480 Posts | Member Since: 10/28/2017
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Interests: Fishing / Partying / Faeries / Faeries / Faeries
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Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

i'm putting this stuff somewhere real quick - Mood:Good
Saturday March 17 20186:08:12 AM |

i haven't seen this interview because i rarely watch celebrity interviews but i appreciate seeing that out of context

grey sweaters

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Give your opinion on this statement, if you have an opinion - Mood:Good
Wednesday March 14 20184:39:28 PM |
“Burdening future generations with our brain banks is just comically arrogant. Aren’t we leaving them with enough problems?” Hendricks told me this week after reviewing Nectome’s website. “I hope future people are appalled that in the 21st century, the richest and most comfortable people in history spent their money and resources trying to live forever on the backs of their descendants. I mean, it’s a joke, right? They are cartoon bad guys.”

here's the article that it's from warning: picture of actual brain

or give an opinion on
anything else

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I feel gross - Mood:Good
Tuesday March 13 20186:51:18 AM |
I made the mistake of watching past videos of myself.
I don't think I realized how I...came off in the past.

I bet it'd be equally horrifying if I made a video now. Makes me want to erase my whole face, voice, everything.

I think me coming off in a way that I don't want to come off is at the root of my social anxiety issues. I'm aware of it and distracted by it, which makes me awkward and then being awkward makes me think people will do something bad in regard to me...and a cycle begins, continues, anxiety sucks.

Flashback to Christmas.
My dad said, "Yeah, you come off awkward."

People can see I'm awkward.
The awkwardness isn't contained within my brain.

nevermind writing a YT journal
my eyes are closing, shutting, staying shut
right now i'm seeing dobule because my eyes are tired

or double


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extended morning routine for when i have all the time in the world - Mood:Good
Thursday March 08 20182:37:28 PM |
- drink a cup of coffee or tea while watching the mary tyler moore show, make sure to lip synch and dance to the theme song

- eat breakfast (something more like dessert like a chocolate and cherry granola bar)
while watching it's always sunny in philadelphia (but i am running out of episodes that i haven't seen)

- watch an episode of sabrina the teenage witch if i didn't get distracted by something

- get distracted by something, probably

- shower but maybe don't wash the hair, remember not to use that peppermint oil hemp whatever soap in the nether region because i do not like how that feels

- do a more productive hobby

- maybe text people back

- post a description of the routine on YT and question internally why you feel the need to describe your mornings to people

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make yourself sound like a 65 year old republican fundamentalist christian from the south who has a porch and likes to sit on it - Mood:Good
Monday March 05 20186:33:46 PM |
Okay, I was going to post audio file but deleted it.

if you would like to do what's in the title, feel free.

I'm off to eat girl scout cookies
my first meal of the day

by the way, i wish crows would let me touch them without me having to feed them or become an actual bird trainer

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if i could press a button and have it go away, i would - Mood:Good
Saturday March 03 20186:51:29 AM |
I found a g chat or google or gmail chat (whatever it is) from 2009.

My irl friend's cousin is a trans guy and the conversation was shortly after he started transitioning. I was asking her questions about her cousin and how her family felt. Her responses were very negative. She then brought up that someone we knew in high school is trans, that it's "weird", etc.

I said to her, "I will not become a man because I am too small and I would fail."

For the record, I was aware of my identity at that point but firmly placed it in the category of "can't do anything about it". I guess it's always been in the "can't do anything" category with the exception of the periods in 2012 and then 2017 when it was "considering doing something about it".

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if i wasn`t afraid of death, i don`t think i`d be alive now - Mood:Good
Friday February 23 20186:10:18 PM |
that's spooky to realize.
the only thing keeping me alive is the worry that this is all there is for me to experience.

experience alone.
thinking alone.

tea helps, being around trees help, objects help

but even if i were a brain in a jar being kept alive
it feels like i'd keep going

only to think

i don't have hope for a fulfilling life
only the hope that i can observe what happens in the world

i want to make it to 2050 and beyond
i want to see what happens to technology
i have to see

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this underwear is no good at all - Mood:Good
Thursday February 15 20185:33:53 PM |

i think they were going for a tie dye sort of effect
but it's so unevenly distributed and distributed oddly
and disturbingly brown.

so, i have a problem with this

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when my brain wanders to naughty topics as i watch the evening news - Mood:Good
Thursday February 08 20186:55:13 AM |
foursome with trudeau, macron, jared kushner, and me somehow

french is the official language throughout the deed, btw
i don't know if kushner knows any french but he better try

i know nobody wanted to know this
but maybe, if i type it, the thought will be EXCISED from my soul

it's been lurking in my mind ever since macron got elected

you guys opening this journal:

it's 4 am

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