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Male, 19 years old
city, state, Southern US

  Online

22 Buddies
27 Subscribers
16,769 Profile Views
13,304 Posts | Member Since: 11/4/2002
Link to this profile:

(No profile music for cola)

Interests: Poetry / Books / Feminism / Music / Arts/Crafts
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:8/1/1997 (19 Years Old)
IM Type: (Decline to State) IM Name:
Occupation: Sales Associate
Marital Status: Single
Sexual Preference: Bisexual
Religion: Christian
Politics: Liberal
Fav. Movie: Amelie
Fav. TV Show: X-Files
Fav. Book: Perks Of Being A Wallflower
Fav. Song: Hiding - Pianos Become The Teeth
Fav. Food: bugs
Fav. Car: 2001 Mitsubishi Eclipse
 
Theme 'Just peachy' created by Rolez
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

She told me "i think you have co-dependency issued" - Mood:Good
Wednesday February 22 201712:10:35 AM |
I told her i need to be addicted to something or i lose my f-cking mind

She doesnt understand
I dont even understand

But she doesnt know the half of things

I still want to kill myself sometimes

Something about it just feels right, romantic almost. Its more of a lingering thought than a drive to do it. I need to express mental pain in a more healthy way than "i want to die i want to be dead heres a bad habit i picked up"

Luckily its not drugs or alcohol or random sex with random people

Its just...me being annoyingly clingy with someone who dpes not want me to be. But i dont know how to be normal

I just want to be normal
In general

I dont want to be like this but i always come back to it

There are 3 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I quit my job - Mood:Good
Saturday February 11 201712:11:00 PM |
I got hired at the salon that wanted me

I start monday

I was like "yeah dont worry about it when i put in my two weeks she'll probably just tell me to clean out my station and go"

WELL THAT DIDNT HAPPEN

One i got terrible anxiety about it and almost had a panic attack
Second she was like "yeah work out a notice" so i'm like "dammit :/"

I textedy new boss and she's like "youre still coming monday though right?" Of course of course just not after that for 2 weeks

Its gonna be great though. Said she didnt want me on front desk. Just straight up doing hair. Gonna pay me minimum wage or commission (whichever is higher) for three months. After that its gonna bottom out and im just on commission

Im nervous but nows the time to do it if I'm gonna

There are 17 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Valentines day! - Mood:Good
Friday February 10 20175:53:17 AM |
Love is in the air yt


And i suck at love


This girl and i have been going out a month. And i want to give her a good valentines day without being like.... a total sleezeball

So weve talked beforehand and set a budget on valentines day and like decided we're not gonna do anything grand or big

BUT the limit is 30 dollars. Which i was like "yeah sure thats fine" but now i'm lookin at prices of flower boquets and im like "uhhhhhh"

I was gonna have flowers delivered to her at work. But the cheapest i can find is 57. Which is like.....a little bit pricey in general. And like. Id do it if idve known ahead of time thats how much it cost i woulda saved up some. (Without the budget of course)

So now i'm thinking orher options so im like "maybe just buy a boquet and have a friend bring it in it's not like that makes a huge difference and she probably wouldnt even know..." except.

There are 53 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Can i get advice if I promise to take it to heart - Mood:Good
Saturday February 04 201712:07:30 PM |
I work at a salon

And i dont love it

Like....its alright sometimes, but honestly theres a lot i would change. But, I'm learning a lot and i like my coworkers alright
And i get a discount at the papa johns next door
And we have an elvis impersonator as a client now

But i got an offer at another salon

They sought me out.

But its further away and id be doing front desk 2 days outnof the week instead of hair. And id lose my one on one apprenticeship.

But its also a great salon and i feel very conflicted and i dont know what to do or even what i want

There are 27 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Currently theres an elvis impersonator in my salon (ama) - Mood:Good
Friday February 03 20176:12:51 PM |
And boy does he think he's THE STUFF

Ask me things. Either about Felvis or just stuff in general

There are 15 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Outside there`s a boxcar waiting - Mood:Good
Friday January 27 20177:54:57 PM |
Things are good

Really good actually

Like when they stop being good its gonna suck just as bad as before

Is that a thing? Having anxiety because things are good?

Im really falling for the new girl. Like a lot.

My parents are about to fulltime foster-possibly to adopt- a 16 year old transgendered girl.

Work is going okay but i wish my boss would choose whether she wants me to be a one on one assistant or a general assistant because im really tired all the f-cking time because in all honesty I'm both

I'm going to see GROUPLOVE on monday which is cool because they were my first live music experience so im pretty stoked.


Thats life right now

There are 13 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

YT Knoxville - Mood:Good
Friday January 13 20173:53:49 PM |
Plz someone come visit me

I need friends

There are 88 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

i got the vegetable fajita when i wanted the chicken nachos - Mood:Good
Friday January 13 201712:30:19 AM |
so

i met someone

like literally a week ago

i know

i know i said i wouldnt

i said i wouldnt even date anyone

but i downloaded tinder to get ego boosts
and i met someone
and we were just like "hey lets be friends"
and then we hung out just got coffee
and then dinner that night
and then the day after i got snowed in at her apartment for two days
and then i went to see her at work
then we got coffee again
then i stopped by to see her yesterday
then today she came into my work and i cut her hair
and then tonight we went out for dinner
and then banged
hard

and i know im moving way too fast
but i like her so much
and i wanna be with her all the time
and ask her to be official with me

we're already going to a show on the 30th
i like her so much

i get it
whatever you're going to say
its already been through my mind
i just

feelings ?

There are 35 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I have a personal relationship with the girl at papa johns - Mood:Good
Wednesday January 11 201712:29:03 PM |
God life sucks

Like truly feel awful

Trying to push through

Too many things to prove to myself

But here i am debating if its all worth it once again

Whats the use in trying

There are 28 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Sorry i got so high that i threw up on your kitchen table - Mood:Good
Monday January 09 201712:47:41 AM |
I dont really want to talk to myself anymore so I'll talk here

Just casually hanging out in my room letting all them thoughts be thunked

Its all good

Im doing better

But its all a lie and im sad


I love everything about the way your eyes look even if you dont and the way you smile its so adorable and sweet

There are 4 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

fade into you... i think it`s strange you never knew - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 03 201711:04:26 PM |
i feel really weird

it's like i've just been living in a shell of a human who's been doing motions but i have no reaction to anything. like i just really want someone ANYONE to be like "hey bud you doing ok"

i finally told my mom so i guess i'll tell you guys too.
india got an abortion. last week.
we'd been dealing with it since she realized it about a month ago. i wanted to keep it. she did not. i wanted to give it up for adoption. she did not. i wanted to discuss literally any other option. she did not

the reason we broke up actually ended up being for financial reasons. she texted me last monday after not talking to me for days about paying for the abortion on tuesday. i told her i didn't have the full amount but i could give her part of it and then the rest on friday. she told me that i would never understand the pain she was going through

There are 29 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

it must yell at andrew and be over dramatic day - Mood:Good
Monday December 26 20167:29:22 PM |
i literally hate everyone i know in real life

my parents
my girlfriend
my friends

they all really really suck

There are 18 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

What are your weird traditions - Mood:Good
Friday December 23 201610:39:35 PM |
Every Christmas season i watch trainspotting

Every year on my birthday i watch breakfast club and ferris bueller (oh oh. Chk, chkchk ahh)

Anytime my favorite team plays i wear a pair of jeans. Not as a good luck charm. But because its tradition

When i was a kid i absolutely had to walk on the edge of something. I dont know why. But i had a small freakout when i walked and my foot didnt line up with a corner or crack or something. I think i had ocd that kinda went away as i got older. Not a tradition but something i just realized

Anyway what are your traditions youre pretty sure no ine else celebrates

There are 39 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Didnt know i was broken til i wanted to change - Mood:Good
Thursday December 22 20169:01:34 PM |
So

Because i suck. I have devoted all of 2017 to making myself not suck.

So heres my list of things im gonna do. How to suck less in 365 days (or less!)

-floss. I actually started doing this last week
-cut out cola. Uhh... not me, but soda
-im no longer saying i can't to things i can do. If i can try, i'm gonna try
-no longer going to experiment with alcohol. I know my limits and just because chardonnay MAY taste good with tropical red bull doesnt mean i should make a tropical wine mixture. I also know i cant drink an entire fifth of 120 proof vodka in one sitting anymore. Limits.
-stop spending so much goddamn money on useless poo. Im the WORST about buying everything I dont need. I almost bought a shirt with laura palmer on it the other day. Just cause. I dont need that sh-t. Im an adult.
-eat more raw organic vegetables
-learn guitar. Chicks dont wanna bang the uke guy

There are 16 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

YOU AS YOU ARE - Mood:Good
Friday December 16 201612:52:55 AM |
Whats up show me your mug
There are 999 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

 

 
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