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Male, 30 years old
Transistional, Existence, Eastern US

  Offline - Last On: 8hrs ago

42 Buddies
46 Subscribers
14,277 Profile Views
22,948 Posts | Member Since: 10/30/2008
Link to this profile:

welt am draht (animal collective remix) pantha du prince
...


Interests: Dogs / Dating / Cats / Hunting / Fashion
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:6/11/1988 (30 Years Old)
IM Type: (Decline to State) IM Name:
Occupation: find me
Marital Status: (Decline to State)
Sexual Preference: Straight
Religion: Christian
Politics: Moderate
Fav. Movie: in
Fav. TV Show: my
Fav. Book: field of grass
Fav. Song: mother
Fav. Food: nature`s
Fav. Car: son
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

restful and pleasant weekend journal. *smiles really sheepishly* - Mood:Good
Saturday December 08 201810:52:39 AM |
i am up early. weird. but good. that's kind of humorous. people on second shift wake up early on the weekends. i say hello instead of goodbye.

shouldn't it be badbye?

but i'm going to be well behaved this weekend. hi weekend. nice to meet you. i am not the animal you once thought i was.

last weekend was busy but i was well behaved. and i enjoyed being in a city for a spell. as much as i dislike boston. it was nice to just be en masse. a dust particle. a dust particle unwilling to be a dust particle but a dust particle nonetheless.

so... interesting. i'm listening to punk music on my headphones. my dad storms out of his office saying he can hear it in there. i explain that it's just because they're in ear not over ear. and he calms down. then he made me find the remote. then he turned on the classical music station. so i can hear it under the punk music.

like a clash!

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how much work talk is too much work talk? - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 04 201812:27:51 PM |
seasonal things happening at work. transitioning period for new projects. in the short term things may be slower for a period. in the long term there will be more geometry equations to ponder.

it's a small company with a good reputation. but the importance of willingness to adapt is crucial. it is far from a day in day out work environment. which is really good for me actually. the company is adapting all the time and the employees have to also be willing to adapt.


and now i'm scared. is this proprietary information? my little brother told me a story about a guy who had an algorithm for a hedge fund that he tried to take when he left a company. the company is doing some ridiculous stunt where they're trying him privately. i just looked it up and i guess he was finally just deported.

i posted an excel spreadsheet on here once. from my first job out of school. did they know?

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wat it do - Mood:Good
Friday November 30 201812:39:31 PM |
one time. i was riding my bike... and the tire popped. or, more accurately. the stem broke off. i had tried to refill the tire with the handy air pump that was built into the seat, and when attempting this simple maintenance the stem broke.

so i walked for a mile or so to a bike shop that happened to be kind of nearby. and they put a tire in. and i rode my bike back to my parked vehicle.

but there were sights and things while i walked my bike. and the lady from the coffee shop had a kid. that she was pushing in a stroller. and i didn't know if i should smile or acknowledge.

but i'll be doing things this weekend again. arriving under the cover of darkness. finding a bar to have a beer. waiting for my friend. arrival of ten o'clock or so. into the busy saturday downtown lights.

i like driving at night. i like driving.


should i see a star is born or is it not worth it?

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ain`t a damn thing funny - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 27 201812:12:24 PM |
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=br8xqLzQvzo

so muscle bound weight lifting men in leotards tossing barrels back in forth while happily swigging vodka are hanging an axe above my head yet again. because they won't cash my check yet. and i can write a million checks if they don't cash them.

and about the beginning of that youtube video... it is perfectly punctual to have such a thing represented there. and i'm not sure if it's intended to mock the listener or the artist or neither. but shamrock hip hop yo.

but astronomical was the snow tires, he said in passing. cost mucho dinero. but on top of that. it was a declaration that my front upper control arms are "shot", as they say in the biz.

so what i'm getting at is...

i'm low on gravy

or... i am facing the same old wall

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pacifism, uh, what is it good for. - Mood:Good
Friday November 23 20186:53:44 PM |
say it again.

turkey day was alright. i was much more conversational and more pleasant to be around this year. i think underneath it all i'm still fairly pleased with the work situation and for the most part it shows.

of course... when everyone left... and it was just brothers, we got talking politics or something. and i had been drinking. and i'm not a textbook debater by any means. and i was running my mouth drunk.

my little brothers are going to visit my older brother at his house. i'm just laying low tonight. kind of got too heated. i think it'll be fine.

i remember when i was growing up, that my dad's family would do stuff like this. he and his brothers would sit around a campfire in my grandfather's backyard and talk politics. it was always interesting for me. but usually someone would get pissed.

so... mustaches are invigorating to wear in public. just saying...

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blood money and boos. - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 20 201812:28:00 PM |
i have to go get blood drawn. i was supposed to get blood drawn in april or so. they're supposed to do bloodwork every once in a while with this medication. to monitor lipids. i'm running out of time though. so...

i must move faster. i think i can drink coffee in the waiting room. what a depressing waiting room that is. so many elderly who just live there. like my grandmother who's life is comprised of so many doctor visits.

when was the last time you had to do blood work? i give blood so i'm not uncomfortable with needles. i actually give so much blood that i got a pullover.

no but really i've got to be moving.

oh one more thing. i thought that i didn't have friday off but i do. so there's that good fact to share. aren't you all so proud of me. except i probably won't be paid for it. i might be. good idea. i'll send another email to the staffing agency. they'll know.

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my dog is the poopingest dog - Mood:Good
Monday November 12 20181:51:09 PM |
every time i take him out he poops. i mean not every every time but nearly every time. and there was a lady at the last job i worked at who lived in my town. and she told me one day that she was walking and she noticed an enormous amount of dog poop in our yard. and i don't know if it was that that compelled us or just general cleanliness but we pick up the dog poop now.

actually there's a pile out there right now that i'm procrastinating on.

what an awful relationship.

but it's basically my only task outside of work. it seems that i end up picking up most of it. my little brother thinks it's smoking. that the cigarette smoke induces poop from my dog. that's a possibility.

oh and the lady that we got our dog from saw me outside. she said there's a litter the 29th of november. i don't think my parents want another dog.

i think she's just being a dog salesperson.

aren't we all?

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three day weekend... - Mood:Good
Friday November 09 20181:29:00 AM |
i have work off tomorrow. and there's a part of me that is terrified that they're going to fire me. and then the rational part comes in, from somewhere, stage right maybe, and says hey wait a minute...

every day when you get to work there's a string of emails declaring that this that and the other person has the day off or is leaving early. there would be no circumstance in which it would be justified for them to take umbrage with the fact that you would like one day off after several months of honest employment, and for good reason!

so my brain conquered itself.

i am doing something tomorrow. though. i'm going to a men's conference. which is like super church. or meta church. or like big picture movie screen church.

it's a conference on something.

the guy wrote a book a few years ago.

...

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a song called pigs in the river by re-tros - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 06 20182:29:31 AM |
what time is it?

this is completely fine. i said i wasn't going to journal for a while on saturday. it's officially been a while i suppose. things will happen this week. it'll be something to mention here and there.

so i've got a head start on no shave november. i think i'm going to do a no trim november. i'll get a haircut tomorrow though. but yeah. i'm going to see how big my beard gets in a month. my moustache is going to be very much in my mouth and no i am not raising money like that pretty australian guy that posts here once in a never. i'm just protesting hygiene as a cultural mandate.

oh and i'm going to a seminar this weekend. some guy named milton is going to tell me about loving men or something. i don't know. not really but swine and clam balls.

i'm pretty much at ease at work so there's not really any more shouting to be done about that and i'm sure you're glad.

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i ain`t no antidentite - Mood:Good
Tuesday October 30 201812:42:46 PM |
i actually did miss my appointment last week. it was scheduled six months in advance, however. and i had gotten an email. but i didn't put it in my calendar or anything. and then i kind of looked like a schmuck because they didn't get my insurance information straightened out before i had to leave and i walked out without paying. it'll be coming in the mail.

but no cavities!

i had, kind of a mini adventure in dentistry last year. i had a tooth that had a cavity that was bothering me. and a dentist filled it. but it wasn't cleaned well enough. and it kind of rotted inside.


anyway there i was snacking on some kfc and i spit out a piece of my tooth. so anyway. months later. when my insurance was good. had the whole gamut of mouth stuff all up in my face. root canals and crowns and fillings and yeah.

but no cavities today!

a medical miracle!

they said i should floss...

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in a little while i`ll look ridiculous. - Mood:Good
Tuesday October 23 20181:29:35 PM |
i'm just going to do a bit of a thing here. just post day to day happenings culminating with a halloween party on saturday. actually. this is what i'm supposed to be doing according to my psychiatrist. this is going to be all about my feels. and then when i'm done feeling i'm going to dress up like a recognizable thing and probably drink too much on saturday night again.

work is tempering me. which is something that it hasn't done in a while. while my last job was an escape of some sort there was a constant fear of having to make a break and make more money. every month i'd have a couple interviews. i'd be getting my hopes up and they'd come crashing down. it was not fun.

now i am actually making probably almost enough money to not be in a frantic state of attempting to climb upward.

so my mental health is currently related to my work.


what's the craziest job you've had?

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working on making myself into a life living person. - Mood:Good
Saturday October 20 201812:39:29 AM |
i'm going to visit my brother tomorrow. i need sleep now though. didn't sleep well last night. not that i didn't sleep well but i was woken early.

my brother lives north in burlington. he went to school up there. i'm probably the most distant with him. we were the middle children. competing in our awkwardness.

i was thinking of seeing music. i think he's interested to. his girlfriend is on board. it should be entertaining but right now, as of this moment, i feel spent.

sleep should help alleviate that.

i've only been out in burlington two or three times. i think one time i got sick. a couple times i went to a concert. it seems nice.

but you can't smoke on church street. which is rather ridiculous.

it'll be my first experience with brother in his element. i think he's become a fluid city dweller. i'm not sure.

he fared better than my crash course in worcester...

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so do you want to video chat over some pasta... - Mood:Good
Thursday October 18 201812:23:52 AM |
more news. i ventured into popular culture again.

you see... in the world of "reality" and "having a life" you're supposed to find someone that you care about and be kind to them so that in turn they are kind to you. it's like this thing that people do.

but today, with the fracturing of language into tiny pieces, so small that it requires a thorough study of said fragments, and a reconstruction in many cases, in order to understand what another person is...

there's people trying to make money off of that.

so i gave them money. and then they brought out the potential, to be kind to persons.

um... i exchanged numbers twice. i offered to meet people. i talked for like months.

culmination.

i arrived in worcester ma. went to the art museum. got coffee. went to the record store. went to a minor league baseball game.


and then listened to music at bars and got proper drunk.

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telluride salmon run - Mood:Good
Monday October 15 201811:50:08 PM |
of all the things to forget...

two things. one. there's a man who used to go to church with me when i was maybe six or eight. he happens to work with me. he's very friendly. very positive christian sharing his contentment.

we talk about things. he mostly does calibration. today we discussed music. he suggested the telluride sessions with bella fleck and several other accomplished musicians. but my little brother is listening to free styles and watch the throne.

and there's another guy who works with me. he's nice. i think he's from the south maybe. he's kind of nice with a touch of i'm in charge here kind of thing going on. he'll very quickly put things very straight forwardly. anyway, he catches salmon. he caught some this weekend and brought some in for me.

but i forgot the salmon.

so i'm going to drive back to work, listen to the telluride sessions and get my salmon

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the probes... oh god... they poked everything... - Mood:Good
Saturday October 13 201812:03:08 AM |
okay that was just a funny thing to say. this is really about concerts. and life. but mostly about concerts.

because concerts f*cking rock!

but actually. it's kind of the exact opposite. while most people are like, this is the time to really lose your mind and embrace sound and the physical sensation of a speaker larger than a car, i'm more of, a moment, where i feel emotion, kind of concert goer.

i mean i drink at concerts. and sometimes i even dance. but i feel like it's a good thing to observe. and a person making something like music. something... of such soft impact and careful inflection. it's just...

i mean i went to a bunch of hardcore punk concerts. due to an acquaintance. and even that, despite the construction of sound that is so structured and seemingly violent coming from the instruments, really just sets up a vocalist who is emotionally bare and vulnerable

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