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Male, 26 years old
Too Cold, Minnesota, Midwest US

  Offline - Last On: 2hrs ago

16 Buddies
138 Subscribers
16,713 Profile Views
14,364 Posts | Member Since: 8/25/2006
Link to this profile:

Career Opportunities The Clash

Interests: Music / Socializing / Acting / Singing / Theater
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:8/27/1993 (26 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Guest Services
Marital Status: Single
Sexual Preference: Straight
Religion: (Decline to State)
Politics: Liberal
Fav. Movie: It`s Such a Beautiful Day
Fav. TV Show: BoJack Horseman
Fav. Book: Golden Son - Pierce Brown
Fav. Song: Avant Gardener - Courtney Barnett
Fav. Food: Pizza is my muse.
Fav. Car: I prefer walking.
Theme 'Goin Midieval on your Ass.' created by CRA-Z_HEART
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

First week of therapy down. - Mood:Good
Friday November 15 201911:24:03 PM |
Finished up for the week.
All in all, I think things are going well.
My therapist has some great insights, though there are so many people in group its hard to talk about everything I wanna talk about.
They have me on escitalopram for depression and trazadone for anxiety and sleep and I think I’ve finally found the right med combo.
Depression is still bleh but I’m sleeping better. At the very least I’m staying asleep when I finally do fall asleep.
I have a tendency to stay up too late still and I’ve clearly got some behavioral changes I need to make.
I still have no idea when I’m getting out but yeah.

Grandparents gave me some money though I’m likely still gonna need a few hundred more dollars to make sure I can definitely get by. So yeah.

But I did socialize tonight. With people I don’t know, even. Went to Friday night magic.
I think I’m gonna get back into it.

I’m kinda sad rn

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Some more updates on my situation. - Mood:Good
Friday November 08 20195:25:50 PM |
Spoke to a counselor today at the clinic I wanted to work with.
On Monday I’m gonna be starting
2-4 weeks of outpatient therapy.
Work is setting me up with short term disability, which is unfortunately unpaid so I’m gonna have to find a way to get the bills paid considering I’m about to miss a lot of work. And my next paycheck is already gonna be smaller due to the work I missed this week.

That’s stressing me out but I know I need to focus on my mental health before it costs me a job again.
I can’t stop crying. I’ll be okay I’m
Sure but goddammit I’m just a F8cking wreck right now

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Well there’s no turning back now I guess. - Mood:Good
Wednesday November 06 201912:10:41 AM |
Had a conversation with my boss this morning about my failing mental health. Two more nights of no sleep kind of forced the discussion.
I’m waiting to hear back from my doctor on what they recommend, but if you don’t read the MH thread, basically they sent me forms to check in on. And when every question the form asked resulted in me giving the worst answers I basically had to admit myself
Sh8ts bad.

I have a feeling they’re gonna recommend inpatient or outpatient. I’m gonna get a free screening from another place just for the second opinion. I’ve had good experiences at that place so yeah.
I’d like to see what they say.

Talked to HR, best they’re gonna be able to help with us unpaid short term disability since I haven’t been there for a year yet. So no financial help but at the very least it’ll mean job security.

So I’m gonna have to find a way to make money if I end up doing

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How the gentle wind beckons through the leaves; as autumn colors fall. - Mood:Good
Saturday October 19 20193:39:09 AM |
Dancing in a swirl of golden memories.
The loveliest lies of all.
I did my annual fall watch of Over the Garden Wall tonight. It left me feeling very somber so here I am.

I’m making enough money to stop donating plasma, my manager has nothing but good things to say in our meetings, and work isn’t so hard these days.
Yet the thought of work still gives me massive anxiety. But whatever.

I feel very.. lost. I’m suddenly realizing I’m responsible for my problems and I need to get my health back on track but I just can’t... start doing it?
I feel like a slob.

This journal is completely pointless and I’ll probably delete it.
I’m just really sad and wish I didn’t work in customer service and I wish I had friends but also don’t think I deserve them?


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