(20 Years Old)
(Decline to State)
IM Name: |
|Occupation:|| Professionally Awesome|
|Fav. Movie:|| The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus |
|Fav. TV Show:|| Adventure Time|
|Fav. Book:|| Catch-22/House of Leaves|
|Fav. Song:|| the laughter of children|
|Fav. Food:|| Cajun |
|Fav. Car:|| Nissan Cube|
|Theme 'Climax' created by pinkconverse||
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries
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| There is so much that I need to say - Mood:Good|
Saturday March 09 20131:19:05 AM |
|And get off my chest and come to terms with and I just can't. |
I can't talk to anybody irl about my problems because I like to pretend I don't have any so people that I've only met in the past few months don't know about any of them.
I only have a few close friends and none I want to tell about my problems
I don't want to tell my boyfriend because I just want to be normal and not like scare him off idk
And there's new stuff that I can't tell my sister or my dad or anyone about that I'm having to deal with alone and it sucks. I'm sorry for being vague but I don't want the backlash about it.
I just am struggling really bad. But only so often. Usually I'm happy but as soon as something reminds me of all of this I lose it all.
I feel so alone and weird. I hate it.
Flame on, whatever. This is as close as I can get to venting.
|There are 41 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments|
| Someone come explain stuff to me. - Mood:Good|
Thursday March 07 201311:13:52 AM |
|So I'm reading about all of the recent n Korea threats as usual and I have a question that I'm wondering if anyone could help me answer. |
In the event that North Korea was involved in a ground war, would their average citizens be willing or able to fight/support the efforts? Overall the population is starving and living in poverty, right?
Would the average North Korean seek help from opposing forces or would they fight them? I can't imagine people in labor camps and etc would be quick to support their own government, but I'm also not 100% on the level of propaganda brainwashing they succumb to.
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| I don`t understand why I can`t just know. - Mood:Good|
Friday February 22 20133:52:19 PM |
|Background story: recent conversation with bf (software engineering major) and his roommate (civil engineering major) about majors, careers, etc|
Basically boiled down to "how does anyone outside of STEM get a job? What is there to do?"
Hey uh I'll skip all the weird self esteem issues and everything I could dive into here and just say, I wish I knew what to major in/do with my life
Because from the looks of public speaking idk if I'm ever going to be comfortable in front of people again. So.. Not sure how I'm supposed to make comedy work. Not like it was ever going to anyway.
Do you know how frustrating it is being treated like a joke by basically everyone who finds out what my majors are?
Yeah I get it. I'm never getting a job.
Told my dad I was thinking about graphic design as a better alternative to art. Man I bet he's proud.
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| It happened again. - Mood:Good|
Wednesday February 20 20133:53:03 PM |
|Someone please mercy kill me so I never have to show my face in that class again. |
|There are 34 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments|
| Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha as read by mandark - Mood:Good|
Tuesday February 19 20138:22:10 PM |
|Still no sleep. Was tired earlier, finally came home, laid in bed for a minute then forced myself to get up so I could revise my speech|
and now I'm nervous about my speech tomorrow bc i bombe the last one and not feeling tired anymore
Are patterns business casual?
I have this awesome dress, black with tiny white lightning bolts
I wanna wear that tomorrow to give me confidence but idk if its business casual appropriate
|There are 27 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments|
| study breaks every two minutes and the joys of writing my second speech - Mood:Good|
Monday February 18 201311:40:12 PM |
|which i have to give wednesday. |
but i'm not procrastinating even though that's what it sounds like.. i just learned about it friday and worked all weekend
so i've been at the library for 5 hours doing research and writing it. and taking more study breaks than studying. oops.
but i think i figured out what caused my demise with my last speech!
because i took adderall like 2 hours before the last one to help power through the finishing touches of the stuff i had to turn in with it
BUT whenever i'm not super physically active (like at work where i'm constantly moving and running around and have a million things to do) then the adderall makes me have all this pent up nervous energy
obviously i wouldve never had that problem before when speaking publicly bc i've never taken adderall beforehand
|There are 66 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments|
| If you`ve never done so badly on a speech that you had to just stop and sit down to fight tears - Mood:Good|
Monday February 04 20135:58:48 PM |
|Then you've never had a day as good as the one I just had. |
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| I wish there would be a Nolan universe batman x Abrams universe Star Trek crossover - Mood:Good|
Thursday January 31 20131:25:41 PM |
|Just so Tom Hardy's bane and Benedict cumberbatch's John Harrison could be all villainy in a movie together bc I mean really, just think about it. |
I'm a broken woman. I am so stoked about into darkness. I've been watching Star Trek nonstop. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
GO WATCH THE STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS TRAILER AND JUST LISTEN TO BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH BEING A BADASS
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| currently in a standoff in the library bathroom. - Mood:Good|
Wednesday January 23 20131:16:05 PM |
|One other girl in here |
Both of us in here to poop
Neither wants the other to hear her poop
WHO WILL BREAK FIRST
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| So um, is there something I can do about this bc I`m pretty pissed off - Mood:Good|
Friday January 18 201312:37:42 PM |
|Ordered a watch on the 10th|
Paid a ton for overnight shipping
Guess what? Still not here. Didn't even ship until the 14th. And I still don't have it. And I paid like $20 so I could have it immediately. And now I'm about to go out of town so I'm afraid it'll get left on my doorstep and stolen or something if it doesn't get here today before I leave.
F*cking god damn it. I want my watch. It apparently left a city about 45 minutes away today at 8.43, so should I be expecting it this afternoon?
UGH UGH UGH
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| why does this keep happening to me? - Mood:Good|
Wednesday January 09 201310:50:47 AM |
|so there is this awful, pretentious pseudo goth chick who has been in all of my German classes thus far|
and today so far had been a good first day of classes, got in and out of my damn 2 hour studio and walked over to wait for this next class
AND IN WALKS PRETENTIOUS PSEUDO GOTH CHICK
THIS IS A UNIVERSITY OF 25000 WITH LIKE A DOZEN GERMAN CLASSES AT EVERY LEVEL
WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP HAVING CLASS WITH YOUUGH UGH UGH UGH
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| What do you smell like? - Mood:Good|
Thursday January 03 201312:13:52 AM |
|I just noticed my favorite perfume is nearly empty and it made me wonder what kinds of perfumes and whatnots other yters are into. |
I loooooove perfume. My everyday perfume is daisy and its my favorite thing
I probably get complimented on that more than anything else tbh
I have a few others that I pull out for different occasions
But daisy is me.
It's kind of entertaining to guess what other yters wear.
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| guise guise guise. tell me things to draw. - Mood:Good|
Sunday December 30 201211:32:31 PM |
|super bored and frustrated because I do studies and doodles of hands literally every day but they always look like dying spiders |
tell me something to draw to help alleviate my boredom. maybe I'll draw it and post a picture.
dying spider hand:
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| I hate everything and I want to die. - Mood:Good|
Saturday December 15 20124:37:31 PM |
|My dad agreed to furnish my new apartment for me with all new stuff.|
But he won't buy me a race car bed.
I hate my life.
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| I have to come to terms with this. I`ve been struggling with it for too long. - Mood:Good|
Thursday November 29 201212:49:57 AM |
|My weak spot is apparently Indian dudes. |
Scholarly, cute, nerdy Indian dudes. Omfg.
Just thinking about them just asfdhkfkd
ANYWAY so here's the point
One was at one of my tables tonight and I was all shy and infatuated because he was hella cute
And I was just a little flirty but a whole lot of awkward
He left me a note at the end of the meal and was flirty in it and was flirty when he said goodbye
And I melted
So just how creepy is it that I remembered his name from his credit card slip and looked him up on Facebook?
I haven't gone as far as actually adding him ir messaging him or something
But only because I'm trying really hard to contain the crazy.
BUT IM PRETTY SURE WE'RE SOULMATES
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| venting and observing - Mood:Good|
Sunday August 12 20129:42:45 PM |
|because i have nowhere else to do so|
i was walking through the mall today and looking at mannequins and people and getting self conscious
i will spare the details of that story though
but ive generally been down all day
i went to breakfast with my sister this morning and when she got to the place she was on the phone, and my mom had called her
she hasn't tried to contact me since the end of may, so that hurt a little bit. sorry to bring that up again.
my dad told me he wanted to go see a movie with me tonight so i got all excited. well he decided his girlfriend was coming too. i dont mind his girlfriend i guess
but i havent had any time with just him since like, last summer, and even then it wasnt much
sparing all the details of THAT story
i'm scared that no matter what i ever do, it's never going to be good enough
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| BILLY MAYS HERE FOR PINKCONVERSE`S 20,000TH POST - Mood:Good|
Friday August 10 201210:15:22 AM |
|AND IF YOU POST NOW, IT'S ONLY 19,999!|
|There are 52 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments|
| medical emergency! help me not die! - Mood:Good|
Wednesday August 08 20121:01:16 AM |
|okay so here are my symptoms|
- right side of back has been stiff and tender all day, possibly unrelated
noticed about 30 minutes ago:
- GIANT SOLID RED BUMP
- located ~ 1 inch to the right of my spine in the middle of my lower back
- roughly the size of a small gumball
- very solid feeling
- tender to the touch
- surrounding area is red
- bump itself is purplish red
tried squeezing and applying different pimple-poppy tools to it and instead of popping it just molded around the pressure spots and indentions
currently lying in bed on my back with a clearasil pad stuck on it with a bandaid just in case it's a freak pimple or something. (which would be abnormal bc ive never gotten a pimple on my back)
scared at possibility of spider bite.
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| This day took a sharp turn. - Mood:Good|
Friday August 03 20127:46:47 PM |
|Was having a perfectly fine day. Hung out with my sister. Had a blast. Got free food and clothes out of it. |
Driving home. Everything's normal. Then it isn't.
Become angry. Angrier than I've ever felt before. Disgusted with myself. Never been angry like that at myself out of nowhere.
Thought about how much I waste my time. How much I waste everyone else's.
Thought about myself and came to meaningless conclusions
Got viciously angry with myself. Wished I didn't exist.
Couldn't shake it. I felt like I was having an out of body experience and was just watching myself do the things I was doing. None of what I did had any point.
Wanted to die. Hated myself. Couldn't think straight.
Went for a run. I think I feel better now.
I still have a lot of emotional angry questions in my head. I dont want to be annoying.
Have lost 6 pounds since 2 Mondays ago. It's never enough.
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| things you can stick into a vagina - Mood:Good|
Thursday August 02 201211:53:48 PM |
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| Is it REALLY so much to ask - Mood:Good|
Wednesday August 01 201211:44:22 PM |
|That I not live somewhere where it is NORMAL to hate gay people?|
I seriously was appalled by some people I knew today
Why is ignorance so praised?
Why does religion even exist
I mean really?
When I think about it it makes me so upset, because I have some deeply religious family members that I care about
And my dad and I keep our atheism/agnosticism under wraps because of it
But uhh, just look at us as compared to them. I mean, not trying to sound like a dick
How are people NOT better off without it?
WHY oh WHY was I born in Alabama
What a cruel fate
If there is a god this is totally the kind of sick test I'd expect him to put someone through
I just feel like absolutely covering my car in bright blue for stickers
About to eradicate 3/4 of my Facebook friends list
|There are 140 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments|
| things my great-grandmother with alzheimer`s says: - Mood:Good|
Saturday July 28 20128:32:37 PM |
|"When I was young we had one chicken on the farm who would sleep in bed with me at night and lay eggs on command when I told her to. she was a wonderful chicken."|
(she never lived on a farm with chickens)
"People don't know how to train birds like we used to anymore. Our pet birds would mount the cats and dogs and ride them around the house like miniature horses. But they would never ride the horses."
(they never had birds for pets)
"When I was giving birth to Sandy, I had to get a blood transfusion. The Globetrotters were in town and one of them came into the hospital and gave me his blood! I have negro blood!"
Hilarious or tragic? You decide!
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| if you had to sum yourself/your life up in one song what would it be? - Mood:Good|
Friday July 27 201210:20:31 PM |
|I've identified with this song literally as long as i can remember. That'd be mine. |
It's one of those songs that i can't help but get emotional and introspective when I hear it
this is just a ploy to see what kind of music you guys like again!
i am ASHAMED of the czech republic's outfits tonight. tsk tsk.
i saw a friend from high school today that seemed so genuinely happy to see me. that made me feel way better than i've felt lately. i needed that feel
and also, unload on me
tell me what you think about me
don't go easy on me
i mean, not really, unless you want to.
I'm doing so well at dieting and exercising. To the point where I'm guilty if I know I've eaten things I shouldn't have. diet powers activate!
ANYWAY ANYWAY, songs and opinions, lemme hear 'em
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| poignant - Mood:Good|
Saturday July 14 20129:47:14 PM |
|I'm gonna preface this by saying it isn't a leaving yt 4eva thread, although it probably looks like it.|
I have done and said some things on here over the course of the last week that I am not proud of. Frankly, I'm disgusted with myself for the way I've been acting. Similarly to how many of you are disgusted with me, and I deserve that.
I am ashamed of the way I have been acting, and I feel this way because I know that is not the person I am. I don't want to hurt people. I want to make people happy and make people laugh. I am a blunt and often harsh person, but I am by no means a cruel person.
Yesterday and last weekend, I was a cruel person, and I hate that person. I am genuinely sorry that person came out. I wish that person didn't exist.
This isn't even just about me insulting someone on YT I dislike. I have damaged relationships with friends on this site.
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