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Female, 26 years old

  Offline - Last On: 9days 5 hours ago

1 Buddies
40 Subscribers
27,511 Profile Views
28,759 Posts | Member Since: 3/15/2003
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(No profile music for nobodyworth)

Interests: Books / Video Games / Traveling / Photography / Drinking
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:2/22/1988 (26 Years Old)
IM Type: (Decline to State) IM Name: (Decline to State)
Occupation: (Decline to State)
Marital Status: (Decline to State)
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: (Decline to State)
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: you`ve probably never heard of it
Fav. TV Show: the one that plays in bars at 2pm
Fav. Book: you`ve probably never heard of it
Fav. Song: you`ve probably never heard of it
Fav. Food: you`ve probably never heard of it
Fav. Car: you`ve probably never heard of it
Theme 'Too Retro' created by nobodyworth
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

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the patterned life - Mood:Good
Saturday July 14 20121:21:41 AM |
Everyone else is fine with it, I'm not.
I see myself doing it, I think our minds are wired to do it. The same things, over and over and over again in different places with different people, same problems.

I pretended I saw above it, I was the meandering one, everyone else- - cyclical. But in reality I just didn't realize my own fate.

It's almost like I just woke up. I finally see that everything around me is nothing more than a mere shadow. If you turn your perspective a bit, they all disappear.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm even solid.

There are 10 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`m not the kinda fool who`s gonna sit and sing to you about stars - Mood:Good
Friday July 13 20126:24:02 PM |
I feel Luke I cried for a long time today, but I didn't. It's hard to catch my breath. Maybe I cried in my dreams. Such anxiety and there's not a good reason for it.

I don't feel happy right now. I slept with the guy from last summer again and he left three cigarettes for me this morning.

I feel like im emotionally cheating on myself.

Next time just leave cash.

There are 7 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

The definition of insanity is repeating the definition of insanity over and over again and expecting to sound intelligent - Mood:Good
Monday July 09 20126:45:12 PM |
Isn't anyone else tired of this cliche? Seriously I'm sitting in the car and my father is listening to talk radio and I'm like ong this is painful in so many levels.

I feel good cause I am moving out of that apartment and will have minimal contact with the psycho roommate.

I need to lose like ten pounds in the next month. Ive been working out but it doesn't seem like its doing anything.

Lyntess sent me a mug and tea and that was so sweet of her. I just wanted some stickers for my suitcase. Aw . Pics Later I'm on my phone

There are 12 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

like dying on your birthday - Mood:Good
Sunday July 08 201211:42:35 PM |
I get scared when things get too cyclical.

I have this uneasiness in my chest all the time.
Two years ago around this time, I came to my grandparents on a plane to visit. Afterwards I had sex for the first time with my ex

Last year this time I was getting prepared to drive cross country

Now I slept with some assh*le before coming to see my grandparents, planning to fly cross the world in a few. I'm leaving on my great grandmother's birthday. My grandparents lived in the far east for 11 years

I don't know, I think about myself a lot. I think about my life and patterns, and it freaks me out

And I feel like I dont belong anywhere. Korea, Pittsburgh, here (South Carolina), my town I grew up in

Aren't I too old for this?

And no one is texting me they love me.
Someone is texting me asking me if I cheated on my boyfriend with him
(the answer is no, I don't have a boyfriend)

There are 10 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Do you ever have this weird feeling in your stomach? - Mood:Good
Wednesday July 04 20126:14:36 PM |
That you aren't sure what it is? It's a feeling, I get it sometimes, I've had it ever since I was little. It feels like something isn't right I guess. I don't know, it's not a good feeling.

I don't even know how to describe it. I feel like a child almost, like everything around me is happening and I can't control anything, like I don't belong.

I was at the pool today, and the feeling swept over me. I honestly don't know how to describe this feeling because I've never heard of the emotion that describes it.

And it's not even like I'm thinking about anything, it just overcomes me.

There are 10 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

stupid, but to entertain myself until I fall asleep... - Mood:Good
Tuesday July 03 20121:04:40 AM |
YT is a dinner party.

What are you wearing?

What are you eating?

How are you behaving?

Who do you want to talk to?

Oh you got seated next to someone you have a crush on. How do you act? What do you say?

Oops you got seated next to someone you either dislike or have no opinion on and everyone else is deep in conversation that doesn't look like you should interrupt, who is it, how to you act, what do you say?

There are 32 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

dr. strangelove - Mood:Good
Sunday July 01 201211:07:53 PM |
it was awesome!

my avy inspiration.

It was nice, I cooked dinner, beers on my porch, we went to the movie,
smoked le cigarette on the way home
kissed on the porch, goodnight

then i finished the movie drive
now I feel funny

I can't believe sunday slipped away so smoothly, as if it was never even here.

how is everyone?
how was your sunday?

There are 13 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

would you send me a sticker? - Mood:Good
Sunday July 01 201212:11:56 PM |
so I can decorate my suitcase? Pleeeease?

I have come to the sad realization today that my facebook friends are bad at being facebook friends.

my plan today:
1. workout
2. go grocery shopping
3. 2 assignments
4. cook curry and go see dr. strangelove
5. laundry

I guess I should get my ass moving.
what do you want to do today?

There are 17 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`m kinda drunk again - Mood:Good
Saturday June 30 201211:44:15 PM |
and the party doesn't stop because I'm going to continue drinking aloooone.
Because buzzes are meant to continue.

We started at like 4:30....don't wanna stop now.

Hung out with my friend and met her bff, and omg I love them. Smoking american spirits and drinking beer and talking about love and live
But the whole time I wanted to contact my ex and just with a text, like I still looooove you.
But I stopped myself, because that's not f*cking healthy. And I will eventually get over it.

Can we have a pleasant drunkeness conversation!?? pleaseee

There are 50 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

why don`t they paint the inside of tunnels - Mood:Good
Saturday June 30 20124:23:21 PM |
different colors, so when you drive through it's like you're driving through a rainbow!?!?!
I can't be the only person to have thought about this.

Today I had a little crisis. I thought about an old relationship for a minute, I'm not even sure what triggered it, and inside I felt all weird. I didn't feel sad consciously or anything, and it was so alarming.

I honestly feel like I've lost my soul mate, this feeling doesnt dissipate. It's okay, but I clearly won't be the same ever again

Anyway, it struck me how odd and amazing humans are. Do animals feel this intense emotion? What is emotion? What is that feeling? Nerves in my body? Organs slightly contracting? I can't describe it but it's physical.

Isn't the human body amazing?
I googled "what are emotions" And I found this slightly amusing:

There are 12 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

cold and wet and dirty like the earth - Mood:Good
Friday June 29 201212:28:27 PM |
I'm going to lay outside.
watch the world spin in space
from my deck through the those willowy tree branches overhead.

I'm going to smoke a cigarette very shortly.
feels so good.

my boss asked me if I would be interested in a team lead position.
awkwardly i was like 'eh, nah'
'it's not something you'd be interested in?'
'thanks though'

I'm leaviing, I guess he'll find out soon enough.

I have this plan with moustache man. To have a night picnic where we aren't supposed to be with wine oh so good wine and hummus.
I think it'll be good. Could be sexy, he says.
It's flattering, because apparently he's kinda asexual.

There are 17 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

kitty - Mood:Good
Thursday June 28 20123:10:21 AM |
so tonight after work went to the bar
met the owner by accident.
he was nice, bought us some drank

went to leave, cops across the street,
so we walked to my friend's parents house.

and on the way, there came a cat,
the nicest, tamest, most affectionate cat.
who followed us for half a mile.

then we had to leave her,
I wanted to keep her,
I named her marbles
i feel like we were soul mates. in a cat-human way.
I feel bad.
as I was pulling away, she looked as if to say
i love you, why are you leavinggggg

There are 26 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Ok I definitely want to move to canada - Mood:Good
Wednesday June 27 20121:00:07 PM |
unfortunately this seems like an impossible feat if i have to do it by succeeding at academia / in a career.

So.....any Canadian YT wanna marry me?

I'm good, I promise.

There are 34 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`m losin my balance on the tightrope - Mood:Good
Tuesday June 26 20121:25:30 AM |
tell me please tell me please tell me please tell me please

my little sister says:
"when i try to talk to you, you put your hair in your face, like cousin IT. How would you feel, if you were talking to me and I just put my hair in front of my face like this (puts hair in face)???"

I'm so weird.

anyway, these threads are getting too intense.
I wanted a fresh one.

with weirdness.
so gooo

There are 17 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

has anyone ever thought of living in a co op before? - Mood:Good
Monday June 25 20121:43:06 PM |
I never did but I found this one in boston (just out of boredom I browse CL)

Looks like they're pretty rare though.

There are 148 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I know I already made a journal, but - Mood:Good
Sunday June 24 201210:32:03 PM |
2 things.

1. Anyone planning an east coast meetup soon?

2. I don't wanna go home because my roommate is all psycho bitch again. I texted her "I was thinking about maybe leaving the apartment in july if it's okay and you can find a sublet. Let me know what you think and we can maybe talk to the landlord"

Which she responded "I AM NOT SCRAMBLING TO FIND A ROOMMATE, you knew the terms of a lease....we can talk like this like adults, which means NOT by text"

(she's using my words against me, but I only said that when she flipped out on me while I was at work via text. I was simply asking her a nice friendly question)

Also "I don't need this right now, I'm done texting"

like holy sh*t bitch, it was a question.
She's so controlling, passive aggressive, anal retentive bitch. I don't feel comfortable in my own place.

There are 10 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

wtf subconscious - Mood:Good
Sunday June 24 20128:40:41 PM |
today I was watching a movie and I fell asleep, the dream that followed will disturb me for some time.

1. My ex. I was riding a motorcycle, his motorcycle. As I was doing so he was on the back, biting my ear AND smoking a cigarette.

Then I noticed there were no breaks on the bike, so luckily I pulled over.

And then he wanted me. He actually said "I want you" And we went to have sex. And I noticed all his girlfriend's stuff everywhere, and he said "it's not you I'm cheating on"

And I did it anyway.

2. Someone he transformed into my friend. It was the same person, but now in the body of my female friend.

And I said "c'mon let's go have shower sex like we used to"

But her apartment all the showers were see through. We had to hide behind dividers so the guards couldn't see us. We had to kinda hide.

And she went down on me. And I came.


There are 17 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

the positive energy thread - Mood:Good
Sunday June 24 20121:07:29 AM |
not to sound like a new age hippie

or anything.

this site is such a downer. And I'm like the star f*cking cynic queen of negativity.
But even I can't handle it anymore.



may my heart always be open to little
birds who are the secrets of living
whatever they sing is better than to know
and if men should not hear them men are old

may my mind stroll about hungry
and fearless and thirsty and supple
and even if it's sunday may i be wrong
for whenever men are right they are not young

and may myself do nothing usefully
and love yourself so more than truly
there's never been quite such a fool who could fail
pulling all the sky over him with one smile

There are 28 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

B&n - Mood:Good
Saturday June 23 201211:57:01 AM |
great, going to barnes and noble. This place does things to makes me ambitious. It makes me feel like I can do ANYTHING. I want to learn about EVERYTHING.

I can't help but buy at least $50 worth of books or more (sometimes up to 150). Then I go home a and all my energy is gone. I don't have time for all this. Last time I went I bought a 'teach yourself korean' book and cd, not opened yet.

Does B&N do that to anyone else?

Also, I got a date for Korea. Mid august.
I'm terrified. But excited at the chance to overcome my fear.
Because then I know it's worth doing.

Also I feel like I'm gaining weight but lately I've been gorging on food like crazy...I don't know why? Hormones? Make it stop. It's harder to gain weight being vegan I think, but still entirely possible.

There are 43 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I cannot fall asleep - Mood:Good
Wednesday June 20 20121:44:54 AM |
and I need to fall asleep.

Because I have to work tomorrow. for 15 hours.
And I have a hard enough time getting out of bed.

Someone, please...
sing me a lullaby or something.

There are 5 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

i don`t think I can do it anymore - Mood:Good
Sunday June 17 201211:02:12 PM |
I'm really f*cking crazy. That guy I've been seeing. I really like him as a friend, but....I'm not sexually attracted to him

It might sound weird but it's his mannerisms.

I don't know what's wrong with me.
I know it shouldn't happen this early on in dating. We aren't even in a relationship.

And I'm home.
And you know what looks really easy but isn't? Riding bikes up hill.

expectation: "pfft yeah, I could ride up that hill in like ten minutes"
reality: " legs are"

I'm at home for father's day.
Which makes me think of the only man who rides his bike in this hick town. Someone I dated last year

And i'm starting to wonder why I didn't date him more. And I'm starting to regret it.

I sent him a message a while back with no response, but I probably deserved it

and I'm leaving, I shouldn't even worry about this.
but I do.
It's messed up

There are 43 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

bitcoin - Mood:Good
Saturday June 16 20123:51:51 PM |
does anyone have any? I'm thinking about getting some alternative currency.

also about living off the grid, however I don't have the money to do it. this guy from garbage warriors lived in a tent for 11 years while he constructed his house.

I may be getting closer to crazy everyday.

There are 48 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I am probably being super bitch - Mood:Good
Friday June 15 20128:53:17 PM |
but honestly I don't care.

I was all in a good mood, and I was supposed to meet the guy I've been seeing for dinner after work. Well, i get all the way to his house and he doesn't answer my 2 phone calls. I take a walk. half hour later nothing, so I leave.

If his phone is off I'm sorry, but charge it then!? you're obviously at home.

I'm supposed to go to my friend's going away party tonight with a mutual friend, but she didn't answer my calls either.

Wtf is going on.

So I'm at home drinking a beer and making pasta.

I'm simply over it. I'll still go to the party, but I'm just in a really bad mood right now. :(

There are 26 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I never realize how drunk i am until I lay in my bed - Mood:Good
Friday June 15 20122:43:45 AM |
So drunk journal.

ask me anything maybe?

or, god the sky is smothered with marshmellow clouds that look orange in the city lights and the night reverberates the sound of sinister chuckles and pretension from hipsters all around, those angel winged high flying whimsical hipsters whose words float between my ears like rain on a smoggy mysterious city night.

There are 29 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

red blue or purple? - Mood:Good
Thursday June 14 20122:29:13 PM |
I want to dye my hair a weird color for just like a month.

I don't know what would look right on me.

here's some pictures

I'm leaning towards darker but still bright red.

what do you think?


There are 40 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

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