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If my life gets any more like a situation comedy, I`m going to go postal on some hapless citizen purely out of spite. - Mood:Hysterical

Friday July 11 20038:22:21 AM |

Okay, so the week started out badly enough with Mondayitis, then Tuesday I had that God-awful driving experience with my friend (stopping in the middle of the intersection to look at something, confusing the brake and gas pedals twice while backing up, going 35mph the whole-freaking-way-- she's such a great driver ), Wednesday I was stressed because I'd missed work Tuesday, YESTERDAY I broke my shower, and today I woke up late because Fridays are my early days so I had to run like a freakazoid getting ready. I am absolutely DREADING the weekend. Other than that, things are swell. *chipper smile*

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A friend in need... - Mood:Spent

Wednesday July 09 20032:31:17 PM |

...is apparently me. Yesterday I took a friend of mine (the one that would qualify as my "best" friend, but I'm not her "best" friend, if that makes any sense) to get her driver's license. She needed to use my car, because it had a center emergency brake. We drove 250 miles, from start to finish. We began at 10am, and continued until 9pm. She confused the brake and the gas pedal twice while backing up, stopped in the middle of an intersection randomly to look at something, went 35mph the entire time speedlimit notwithstanding, and-- *goes into a coma* Traumetized? NO! I'm not traumetized. Oh, and she failed the driving test.

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Dignity? Pah! Who needs dignity.. - Mood:Spent

Saturday July 05 20038:09:38 PM |

So my family came over for the fireworks over the lake tonight, and mum decided it would be a grand idea to climb the two flights of stairs up to my apartment so she could peruse my accomodations. 1. She's been in a wheelchair for the last 5 years. 2. She has no feeling/strength on her entire left side. 3. The yard was packed with gawking onlookers rather morbidly fascinated by the 300+lb woman lurching/dragging/bumping her way up two flights of stairs. The fireworks were spectacular though, and she did make it all the way up eventually. It was nice to sit in the air conditioning and watch them over the lake-- we had a perfect view. AND I didn't have an hour drive home, which I usually do after seeing my family. THEY did.

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Popsicles! - Mood:Hopeful

Saturday July 05 200312:36:50 PM |

Anybody ever heard of or tasted the popsicles that come in flavours like watermelon, bubble gum, sour grape, fruit punch, etc? They're by Hendries or something... I may be addicted. Fireworks going on tonight over my lake, and my family will be coming out to watch them. Should be interesting, if not fun... So many people here already that I couldn't find a damned parking place after going to the supermarket, and I LIVE here! Grrr. Pinheads all! But it was worth it for watermelon popsicles.

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Peeling - Mood:Embarrassed

Friday July 04 200312:10:19 PM |

The sunburn I got several days ago has gone from dreadfully painful to drastically painful and incredibly itchy. And peeling. Peeling like crazy. I feel like an orange-- but without the outer skin, just the pith on the inside peeling off... Went out to breakfast with my roommate this morning, it was very nice. Even though we showed up at Friendly's half an hour after they stopped serving breakfast. She asked me if I wanted to go when we both got up-- and for a second I waivered, and my brain argued. "No Tess, you can't go out." "Why can't I?" "You have to stay here!" "Why?" "You have to take care of mum." "No I don't, she lives in Warren. Remember? You live in Webster now." "Oh yeah! Well, let's go!" She may have thought I was rather strange when I finally answered, "Y...es..."

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Procrastination - Mood:Ashamed

Friday June 27 200310:01:19 AM |

So it's Friday at work, and I'm doing nothing. I'm sitting on this soulsucking website and my productivity is practially running into the wild blue yonder yelping with pain. I'm absolutely exhausted-- three times this week my mother called in hysterics, weeping. My brother is stopping his meds today. And apparently his 'net "girlfriend" dumped him, or her mother made her dump him, or whatever, so he's depressed about that. Frankly, I think he should be more worried about the fact that he barely has any skin left on his body, but that's beside the point. Not to mention exaggeratory-- whether that's a word or not. I'm dreading the weekend... but I'll be glad for a break from work. Won't have to worry about getting a call /here/ that something terrible has happened anyways. And the football team is having a golf rally. Is there something wrong with this picture?

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Reality Check - Mood:Overwhelmed

Friday June 20 20034:56:59 PM |

Today was Journal-worthy for me, but just because I keep forgetting dates and this one needs to be documented for medical purposes. My mother called at 6:30 this morning to tell me she had a lot of pills at the ready and unless I told her why not, she was going to swallow them all. How do you tell your mother to stop being a melodramatic angstful twit? So I spoke with her for two hours (my boss was expecting me around 8am, damn damn damn), got her to calm down, and told her to take some of my brother's sedatives. She slept until I could get out of work at least. My brother started burning himself again. And then cutting off the burns with his knife. If this keeps up, I can picture myself at his funeral by this time next week. I'm about ready to commit them both to an institution and crawl under a landslide. So much for blissful distance. I don't want to have to move back home...

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Last Resort?! Nah, just a break... - Mood:Suspicious

Thursday April 03 20037:24:46 PM |

Alright, Generals went from external, world-wide type politics to internal "homeland-security", site-wide type politics and I'm venturing back here after avoiding this Forum for quite awhile. Hope everything's stayed... relatively normal, although I wouldn't mind the collective IQ raising. Job's going well... might get a raise, actually... Probably getting an apartment soonish. Brother's still very not-good, mother's still likewise but in a different manner, stepfather's alive last I checked, and I'm currently staying with my grandparents while random people tear apart my house. Remodelling, renuevation-- whoever called it "home improvement" was sadly mistaken. Even the gaping holes in the wall where my mother hit them with her wheelchair weren't this bad. And it only took us, what, five years of living with a handicapped person to finally make the house accessible! Tchah.

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All your base are belong to us. - Mood:Exhausted

Friday March 21 20036:02:17 PM |

Combine writer's block with s Starbucks moment and 6500 loose sheets of paper, and what do you have? Total and complete exhaustion. Last night a dear friend dropped by and kidnapped me for the evening. It'd been ages since I had seen her, and we had a wonderful chat... she and I are basically the only people that understand each other-- she doesn't wince when I say, "providentially coindental and inexplicably appealing" and I try not to giggle when she says "Woo-stuh" instead of "Wuster" (the way I say it) for "Worcester". I got back home after 2am and had to get up at 6am for work. Ugh. But at least with my happy new car (which I'm calling Lilly, short for "Lilliput" because it's so much smaller than anything else I've driven), driving in wasn't as torturous. I'm tired... and I'd be watching America's Funniest Home Videos if all the *random expletive* networks weren't broadcasting some new game show, Mass Destruction sla

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Warning! Sound effect to follow! - Mood:Ecstatic

Monday March 17 20034:56:46 PM |

VROOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! On Saturday I applied for a loan to purchase a cute little lavender Neon from a local dealership. I didn't know whether I was going to get it or not; being 19 with no credit established yet is rather a deterrent to procuring financing! But I found out today that it's all approved, and I should have the car at the very least by Wednesday. VROOOOOM!!! Okay. I'm through with the silly sound-effects. But not through grinning! I'm so happy.

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Oh, glorious morning! - Mood:Excited

Saturday March 08 200311:58:39 AM |

Oh, sunlight and blessed warmth-- showers of blessing rain down without the frigid onslaught of precipitation! Ahem. Pardon me-- a moment of revelry truly was necessary. It's wonderful outside! Everything is excellent... but what was that site you could download recordings of sound on? Awhile ago there was a thread like that... *brow furrows*

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Lights, Siren, Action! - Mood:Exhausted

Saturday March 01 20036:29:25 PM |

Well, mother's on the way to the hospital again. I'm so frustrated... I know that getting angry at a person because they are ill is foolish and irrational-- but at this point I'm so exasperated with the neverending pointlessness of these hospital trips and doctors' visits and specialists appointments and running around madly trying to get another blood sample-- and clean up the accidental "sample" on the floor-- and GAH. ENOUGH ALREADY!! *deep breath*... Sorry guys. I just had to get that out of my system.

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Casserole of Chaos - Mood:Smug

Wednesday February 19 20035:12:53 PM |

I began this odd day by waking up from an honest-to-goodness YT dream. Good gracious. I didn't believe in those! They're like.. UFO's and Sasquatch. And being hypnotized!! I don't believe fully in their genuine-ness-- and I won't until I experience them for myself. But now I've got the dream... Then I went to work. And I didn't get lost! My first day-- and I didn't get lost! That's pretty amazing in and of itself. Work was incredibly wonderful. Pleasant-- the hours just flew by. I feel so... officious and professional now-- got a work email. Heh... *sigh* What a load of blather. Ah well! I had fun. So there.

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Well... the other shoe dropped - Mood:Depressed

Saturday February 15 20039:54:28 PM |

Sugarfrits. I knew it would happen eventually. Mother spent the whole day weeping hysterically. Finally thought there'd be a cessation-- but no. We made the mistake of watching Law and Order, and one of the cases sent her into yet another weeping spree. Afterwards all she could do was sob as she told me over and over again, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... will you forgive me? I'm so sorry, if I could've done something better, if I could've protected you better-- I'm so sorry!" This makes at least eighthundred times we've had this conversation. "Mother, it's okay. Honest. I've never blamed you. It's really alright, I'm okay now, please... let it go.. go get some sleep, it'll be better in the morning." *sigh* At least I start work on Wednesday. And Thursday's my birthday... yay.

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Absoballylutelyspiffinfantabulistic!! - Mood:Ecstatic

Friday February 14 20038:51:12 AM |

Got a call early this morning from Nichols College. Him: Hello, Tess, this is Leon from Nichols College. How are you? Me: I'm very well, thanks, how are you? Him: I'm great. Listen I'm just calling about the job opening-- do you want the job? Me: Yes, yes I do. Very much. Him: Bam, you're in! Me: ... Him: I like you, we all liked you very much, we think you'll fit in well with the team, and we would very much like it for you to start with us. Me: Thank you so much! Him: Now, this is strictly off the record, because we're required to post the job internally-- but you'll get a call sometime within the next day or so from someone. We'd like you to be ready to start on Wednesday, so this is so you can tie up any loose ends now. Me: Yes, I see-- thank you, very very much! Him: You're very welcome-- see you Wednesday! Me: Yes-- thank you! Then I went upstairs and found my mother playing her guitar for the first time in ages. We're going to do the anthem on Sunday.

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Waiting with extreme trepidation for the other shoe to drop... - Mood:Happy

Thursday February 13 20034:49:42 PM |

...but I'm also really enjoying continual fantastic span of days! Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, my mother took an unexpected turn from miserably depressed to at the very least slightly motivated. This morning she called down to me at 9am that she had made blueberry muffins-- the last time she stirred herself was only to heat up some cold leftover spaghetti in the microwave when she was home alone!! We spent an hour over the muffins, chatting and laughing-- laughing!! It's been forever and a half since I laughed with my mother! Sooo long.. she laughed with me. Perhaps not significant to anyone else in the world, but today was one of the best days in the past week of wonderful days.

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The sweet, sweet tantallizing taste of semi-success - Mood:Hopeful

Wednesday February 12 20036:17:26 PM |

So I walk in the office door, bloody petrified-- but the lady at the desk was friendly and personable. She directed me to Mr. Wotsisface, the Dean/Director, and he seemed very pleased with my experience in Admissions and Processing and customer service. After a longish discussion with him, I met about seven other directors and they were phenomenally friendly and kind and nice... I left after about an hour and a half feeling quite pleased indeed... they called me back later, to say that they were required to post the job internally, but they all really really liked me and would get back with me within a week! Okay. Through gushing. Sorry.

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Could go either way, now. - Mood:Hopeful

Wednesday February 12 20038:26:58 AM |

Made it through the early-morning interview, apparently with colours that, if not flying, at least skipping. Now they'll get in touch with my references, go through a bit of protocol, and let me know today or tomorrow whether I got the fantabulous job... What to tell Walmart? Eesh...

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Haven`t had news this good in forever and a half... - Mood:Ecstatic

Tuesday February 11 20036:52:50 PM |

Last Sunday in church a man I knew well came up and said, "Tess, I've got a job opening at Nichol's College that I think you'd be perfect for. If you're interested, call me." Finally, right before my orientation at Walmart, I called him. The details of this job I'm so perfect for: 1. Full time, desk-job, admissions work, data entry, customer service, dental, health, vacation time, five days a week, weekends off, 8-4, one hour away, pleasant coworkers, hi-tech facilities. 2. Free college tuition 3. Free college tuition for a future prosper husband and children. 4. Prospects for advancement, AND for getting away from mother with salary equal to that needed to get own apartment near the college. This is the best freakin' news I've had in forever and a half! AND I called Walmart and told 'em I wasn't gonna be a flunky. HA!!!

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Blue Flashing Lights, awwww dang! - Mood:Exhausted

Monday February 10 200311:27:14 PM |

So I'm driving along at about 9pm last night, glancing at the speedometer occasionally. "Gee, this seems fast for fourty," I kept thinking, but not wanting to annoy the person in the car I could see approaching in my rearview, I kept going. Suddenly, as the car pulled closer-- ahah. Lovely. THAT's why there's another car on this tiny country backroad at 9pm-- blue flashing lights splatter across the serene, frigid night air. I pull over, go through the whole license and registration rigamarole, and he says, "I pulled you over for going over fifty in a fourty mile an hour zone." WHAAAT THE!? The look on my face must have told him eloquently enough that I was not going to admit to that-- and I'm sure he'd heard every excuse in the book despite being a 20 something rooooostery pinhead, but my speedometer actually said 40. He gave me a warning. I'm petrified of driving now. Grrr... I've ALWAYS been petrified of driving-- now I'm terror-struck.

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Reticence notwithstanding... - Mood:Anxious

Sunday February 09 200310:58:00 AM |

...I finally updated my profile. So finally the members of YT can put a face to the nonsense syllables and sometimes cynical words behind my keyboard-- although why they would want to, I haven't the foggiest notion. So much is going on-- I spoke with someone from my old college last night, which was interesting... I should be getting a statement any day now, from them. I haven't heard back from Walmart, but now I've got another job opportunity and college chance-- full time job with dental, health, and holidays, PLUS free college? And a job working with customers, which I love... but my Nanna is pushing for me to apply to Westfield-- and counting on me working at Walmart. I'm tired of being dependable-- I want to be flighty and irresponsible and absolutely guilt-free. Unfortunately, only way that's plausible is from six feet under.

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Flustered - Mood:Shocked

Friday February 07 20038:24:36 AM |

Ohgoodnessgraciousdearyme! Woke up this mornin', had a key... Was it you? Wasn't me... Milord Uther-- it be'd he!! *ahem* My apologies, had to get that out of my system. AH! I actually did wake up this morning with an unexpected key-shaped object beside my name, and a pm from the member who gave it to me! How does one repay something like that, I ask you?? Now I'm all a-fluster, I've got eight jillion new options that I'm going to screw up royally, but it'll be fun, so yee-haw! But I still can't use the new "MY last post" button-- 'sup widdat? Still riding an emotional high from yesterday... and now today starts off splendidly indeed! *happy sigh*

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500 Watt Caffeine Jolt - Mood:Shocked

Thursday February 06 200312:21:45 PM |

I've returned wholeheartedly to living on Metabolife and instant coffee-- seems to keep me charged and energized, in any case. A zap every so often keeps me awake and alive, two things that my mother doesn't exactly embrace at the moment. Feeling good today, so many people have shown support for my family and I... so despite Mom's attempt at assertively proving the law of gravity (via multiple CRASH-tinkletinkletinkle's) and weeping all over the place, I'm maintaining a positive outlook. Whether that has more to do with caffeine or prayers, remains to be seen.

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Essential Phrases - Mood:Exhausted

Wednesday February 05 20031:00:56 AM |

Please apply these foreign emergency phrases in the proper situations. You never know when you might need them. "Hello-- I have been seriously wounded." Spanish: Hola-- tengo una lesion grave. French: Bonjour-- je suis seruiusement blesse. German: Guten Tag-- ich bin schwer verletzt worden. Japanese: Konnichiwa-- watshi wa okega wo pooe imasu. "May I use your belt as a torniquet?" Spanish: (upside-down ?-- can't type it, I'm sorry)Podria yo usar su cinturon para un torniquet? French: Je peux utiliser votre ceinture comme tourniquet? German: Darf ich Ihren Gurtel als Aderpresse benutzen? Japanese: Anata no beruto wo karite shiketsutai ni pooemo iidesuka? Right then. You should be adequately prepared. For some things.

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Who`s sneaking around in the bushes!? - Mood:Exhausted

Saturday February 01 20034:32:26 PM |

I'm back, though not by choice. So much for four months... it became drastically and dramatically evident that my mother could no longer function with me away from home. Farewell, PCC-- hello, YT, and possible Westfield State.

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