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Female, 84 years old
., ., Western US

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43,553 Posts | Member Since: 12/21/2001
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Prose Poem - Mood:Good
Saturday February 09 20083:08:15 PM |
little further than before.

Title: Promises

We used a Sunday evening on her driveway, legs pressed up against our chests, our chins shivering against our knees, backs leaning against the sky colored garage. We were very aware that we were barely hidden by her parents' van we had nicknamed “Beige-ing.” Her father had just beaten her with the buckle-side of a belt for something like ‘letting the dog out’ or ‘fighting with her older sister.’ Underneath a flickering light meant to expose her address, I wiped her tears with the fraying sleeve of my sweater and promised her I would always be there for her.

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montel williams fired?! - Mood:Good
Saturday February 09 20087:42:36 AM |
I can't believe he got fired for what he said on fox (if you don"t know, youtube!)

HE WAS F*CKING CORRECT!

Oh, american media is going to kill me.

There are 7 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

workin it, workin it, - Mood:Good
Friday February 08 20089:38:52 PM |
work in progress...

title: mayra (prose poem)

We sat on a Sunday evening on her driveway, legs pressed up against our chests, backs leanings against the sky colored garage, hidden by the front of her parents' van we had nicknamed beige-ing. Her father had just beaten her with the buckle-side of a belt for something like letting the dog get out or fighting with her sister. Underneath a flickering front light, I wiped her tears with the fraying sleeve of my sweater and promised her I would always be there for her.

She showed me crystal meth for my first time. We were sitting on her bed with the Sesame Street comforter, and I had just finished explaining to her the difference between dominant and recessive genes, since we had both cut biology class that day so we could hang out with her boyfriend. She pulled out a bag the size of one of those white butterflies I see in the spring, and it was filled with what looked like chopped up pieces of glass or stone, the color of the deep end

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critty/crystal/ice/glass/methamphetamine question! - Mood:Good
Friday February 08 20089:09:49 PM |
If you've seen or done any form of the above, I need your advice/help ish...


Anyways, so I'm writing a poem on this girl I used to be friends with. When we were 15, she showed me crystal meth for my first time. I've never tried to stuff, and probably won't (schizophrenic brother due to meth psychosis), but there are a lot of people in my class who have done it, and I don't want to sound like a moron.

Anyways, when she showed it to me, I remember it being blue. Kinda like the deep side of a pool reflected off the sky type blue. I decided to look for pictures of it (google) and can't come across any.

Perhaps she showed me another drug? I don't know. I can't remember, it was 7 years ago, though I'm sure it was meth.

Any ideas of what it could be or if it is?

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Slam Poetry: Saul WIlliams!! - Mood:Good
Thursday February 07 20084:53:04 AM |
So, tonight I attended probably the largest slam poetry gathering in the history of the world (not kidding...). There were over 650 people there, and saul williams was the main act! It was fabuloso.

When I got there, the 650 spots were already filled, and there was a line outside of at least 200 people. It was nuts! But my friend and I like..tagged along with some guy we met when we parked our car, and he knew some people within the first 30. BUt we still couldn't get in. Thank-god we're friends with the guy who put the whole thing on (literally) and he got us in.

BUT, he bounced to slam and we couldn"t get downstairs. So we sneaked down, and wound up in the VIP area. Where we sat, got front row viewing of all the poets and Saul Williams. It was great, haha.

AND we got to sit the whole time. It was all standing (because of the sheer amount of people).

I had a good time.

Last night I went bowling and beat all my friends, haha. 115 first round, 125 second.

BUT, the funny t

There are 13 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I live by Adrienne RIch! - Mood:Good
Monday February 04 20084:26:03 AM |
How f*cking cool is that? 2 of my professors are Nate Mackey and Gary Young. That's really amazing too. I'm literally surrounded by dozens of amazing poets and I feel like I'm taking advantage of it.

I need to get involved somehow. I just started working the poetry show...perhaps this will help me get a shoe in somehow along the way....

Also, the largest poetry slam event goes on at my school every year. One of my friends is actually the guy in charge of it all.

As is the guy I was f*cking. Oh well. Saul Williams is coming on thursday. That should be cool.

Also, the poetry show I work for is the longest running poetry show in the US.

I think poets are attracted to this place. haha.

And as I said...I need to take advantage of this.

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I need music - Mood:Good
Sunday February 03 20086:31:20 PM |
and I'm too lazy to go to the music forum.

I have a LOT of music, and I listen to basically everything. Minus most pop and country.

I just finished getting death from above 1979 and finished up a queens of the stone age discography.

I want something I don't have. If you give me a good recommendation that I don't have, I'll love you forever.

And I'm open to pretty much everything.

Actually, I"m going to get more Marvin Gaye.

"But I do need more.

Go.

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catharsis shmalarthis - Mood:Good
Friday February 01 20086:42:24 AM |
gross villanelle
title: poison

With warm rum pushing through blue veins
and at 3 Am, a chicken on the apartment stove'
one could have predicted stomach pains

and bleeding bowels that would make one insane,
but undercooked chicken in dry mouth I would shove
with warm rum stewing in my veins.

Veggie-noodle-chicken vomit would soon clog drains
amongst bile and whatever my stomach's lined of
all due to stabbing stomach pains.

The bathroom: a kaleidoscope of red & brown stains.
Though it reeks of destruction I can't think to move,
but can only stare with ru filled veins

falling out of tired eyes & tired brain.
Weakness calls home searching for love
instead finding rum filled veins
predictably trying to stomach pain.

and this one because I was bored

title: Blinded by the light
If I could give the sun my eyes
I"d slip them out of their sockets
and through them to a mourning sky.

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I`m over it. - Mood:Good
Monday January 28 20086:21:11 AM |
I dislike him immensely.
He brings nothing bright into my life.
I don't even want to see him this week. Or next week. Or the week following that week.
But I will, because it's better than being alone.
There are 12 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

i fix0r3d my p03m - Mood:Good
Sunday January 27 20084:02:33 PM |
and renamed it

You totally just saw my revision process

title: thinking with your feet

We met up in the quietest city,
whose lights turned off
slightly past one every night
and the only thing open past nine
was the overpriced gas station
on the corner by the shoe store.
We took a walk like we used to,
and reminisced about running
from security guard flashlights
and murderers that ended up being mutilated
cherry-tree stumps on horizons.
This night we walked down to the ocean
while it rained. The drops
fell on our noses and our backsides,
our shoes and our umbrellas
as we jumped into puddles
we meant to jump over.
The umbrellas pulled themselves
out of our hands
and dragged themselves
East, across our feet,
as if they knew
the West was filled with secrets
about the sea and why the sun
really went down at night.

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I always wind up in sketchy situations - Mood:Good
Saturday January 26 200811:36:53 PM |
but I like to see where it takes me.

So, this guy in one of my classes sent out this mass e-mail in regards to this interview we have to do. Basically, he has to interview a controlled drug-user. I replied to his e-mail sayind I'd do it if he needs me to.

Anyways, long story short, I talked to this guy on the phone for like 20 minutes, and he sounds like a whack job. He's really high strung, and he keeps on offering me money.

I kinda feel likea prostitute, I'm meeting in his dorm and he's going to pay me lol.

But he will also interview me.

i responded because I want something exciting and spontaneous to happen in my life. Perhaps this will bring about a new friendship of sorts.

I hope he is either a) really f*cking hot or b) has like 3 fingers or something.

I will not settle for an anti-climactic night.

BUT, on that note, I don't want to get stabbed by this stranger.

We shall see.

There are 11 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Youthink is hatin` - Mood:Good
Saturday January 26 200810:25:39 PM |
and not letting me post in my own thread.

Now to play with form
form 1: prose

form 2: who knows

it's been three months since I've seen you,
a couple since I've really talked with you.
We met up in a city whose lights
turned off slightly past one every night.
We took a walk like we used to,
and reminisced about running
from security guards
or make believe murderers
that ended up being mutilated
cherry tree stumps.
This night we walked to the ocean
while it rained. The drops
fell on our noses and our backsides
our toes and our umbrellas
as we jumped in to puddles
we meant to jump over.
The umbrellas pushed back at us
struggling to release themselves
as if they knew we were heading
the wrong direction.
As our soles me the sand
you mentioned how someone was
found dead at the beach a couple days back,
found only in their socks.
As we stood in absolute silence
staring at the dangerously playful waves,

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inspired by a walk - Mood:Good
Saturday January 26 20084:25:04 AM |
title: My feet know where to go
It's been three months since I've seen you, a couple since I really talked to you. We met up in a city whose lights turned off slightly past one every night. We took a walk like we used to, and reminisced about running from security or make believe murderers who ended up merely being stumps of mutilated cherry trees. This night we walked to the ocean while it rained. The drops would fall on or noses and our backsides, our toes and our umbrellas as we jumped into puddles we meant to jump over. The umbrellas pushed back at us, struggling to release themselves as if it knew we were heading in the wrong direction. As or soles met the sand you mentioned how someone was found dead here a couple days ago, found only in their socks. As we stood in absolute silence staring at the dangerously playful waves, I wondered if I was standing in one of the grooves in the sand his feet had made before he had died.
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school, rain, the euro-train - Mood:Good
Friday January 25 20083:12:44 PM |
NOW

I have a cold wtf body!? Stop getting sick!

I've been going to the gym for the past week. Ew, gym people. But the rain has been flooding our front steps lately, so working out outdoors isn't as pleasant as I'd like it to be.

The stationary bike is nothing like my bike. The stationary bike is we-taw-ded. You don't go anywhere or see anything interesting, and I couldn't figure out how to work it for like 10 minutes, so for 10 minutes I was biking level 1. Haha. I changed it to 10 once I figured out what I was doing.

I paid for my Europe ticket. My friend and I are doing the travel across Europe thing this summer. I must've mentioned this already. We're starting in Ireland and leaving from Greece. And hitting everywhere in between.

I have a very high maintenance friend that wants to join us, and I don't know what to tell her. I want her to come, but I know, 'cause of allll her sh*t, she's going to hold us back.

I don't even plan on showering for some days.

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I`m dying of food poisoning - Mood:Good
Saturday January 19 20087:59:22 PM |
So, I got sh*tfaced on thursday (my birthday week, I was drunk for most of it) and proceeded to make chicken...

which I didn't cook all the way.

So, I've been sh*tting constantly for the past 2 days and I feel like my insides are coming out. I even sharted en mis pantalones.

I"m tired of feeelinggg illllll.

And this is the gross kind of sick too. Blah.

Anyways, so the guy I has a girlfriend , and he invited me to her birthday this weekend. I was like umm...I'm busy.

I'm watching Bridget Jones' Diary right now. Renee Zellwigger (sp?) is so much cuter with some pounds on her.

This movie makes me want to have a boyfriend.
As does being sick.

I want someone to take care of me

Do any of you have any ideas on what cna help my food poisoning situation? I can't eat much, I've had a bowl of soup today- and I'm drinking tons and tons and tons of water...

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Things I hate today - Mood:Good
Thursday January 17 20084:10:54 AM |
1) Having to write villanelles
2) Hot, smart, amazing boys with girlfriends
3) The cold
4) 2 for 1 cigarettes when you're trying to quit
5) waking up much later than you intended
6) boring lectures
7) writer's block
There are 26 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Birthday extravaganza! - Mood:Good
Wednesday January 16 20086:27:53 AM |
I"m super drunk right now. I ended up having 10 people come out to me with the bars! It was super fun. I love having and making friends.

I love my friends.
I love everything.

Except school. And work. And regular life and such. Oy.

So we went to the bars, went to one of my friends and got high, tried to go to a hookah bar, then to a gas station, as our group slowly deteriorated.

Now I'm here. The last one awake, as usual! But I don't have school until 7 PM tomorrow, so I don"t really mind...ha!

I have to write a villanelle now and it's proving not as diffiuclt as the sonnet, but still rather hard.

Most of the time I
Just sit around and drink
to think about you and cry.

I lay around and wonder why
our cups are in the sink.
Most of the time I

want to bleed myself dry.
Thinking of our kink,
thinking about you, I cry.

Staring with my blind eye
I can’t even try to blink;
Most of the time I

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YT is a poem - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 15 20086:19:38 AM |
Journals

Today loses
Wicked doses
and sixteen cents is your change!
Post your hotness...

Okay, seriously,
I need some help.
I need to leave YT, a guy from work is lurking..
bored.
I'm sad.
So who here has been to thailand?

Generals:

My solution for global warming:
Holistic/natural living versus "regular" living.

Can baking soda curb global warming?

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It`s my party and I can cry if I want to! - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 15 20083:17:19 AM |
I'm 22.

I hate birthdays. I was never really ever into the concept. Time, especially life is completely relative, so I'd rather justify my life of beginnings and ends rather than numerically.

I feel closer to someone who is 30 should feel than I do being 22.

BUT at the same time I feel 15.

Anyways, school was sooooo boring today. I also started my period yesterday, which made me hella lethargic and I ended up missing my first class.

But at least I was semi-productive and cleaned my car. I should probably start cleaning my room now, but I'm too lazy and stoned.

This is my last year of college. That's what I keep telling myself. I'm one.year.away.

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24 hours - Mood:Good
Monday January 14 20084:44:37 AM |
hour 1: friend comes over. go out and drink beer and eat burgers. she bought me a butterfly wall decoration for my birthday.

hour 2: friend and I buy Jager. Drink Jager and discuss American politics with neighbor-friends.

hour 3: other friend comes to my house. Much drinking and smoking.

hour 4: another friend comes to my house with 3 of his friends. More drinking and smoking ensues.

hour 5: head to paedophile & pre-teen party. meet f to m transgendered queer.

hour 6: dance thte misfits with 3 people in helmets

hour 7: walk to chevron to purchase forties of sierra nevada and cigarettes

hour 8: walk back to my house and smoke more cigarettes and bud, then walk my friend to her house (about 20 minutes)

hour 9: have friend throw keys at me from second story. lose them because toooo drunk and dark. spend 20 minutes looking for them, and in the process wake up neighbor

hour 10: neighbor smokes us out while we watch his itunes design on his big screen. get the spins.

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i went to a poetry slam (saul williams!) - Mood:Good
Saturday January 12 20086:41:52 PM |
and afterwards I was literally thinking in rhyme.
It was irritating.

BUT

Saul williams is coming to slam at my school next month! Some people I know are putting it on, it's pretty f*cking cool! I'm hella excited.

As you put
a part of you inside of me
I push but-
tons that I thought only I knew of
because maybe some part of me
was leaning towards love
and on a ride from a friend's house
to my own home
i can't think of anything
but writing this poem
so I set down my bike
and I sit down and write
about the long fight
between my heart and my hand
I can't understand
why I'm so disrepsected.
I must be infected
cause I was neglected
and feel so rejected
when I think of you
and pushing those buttons
while you do too.
And as I sit on a bed
in a house with a room
that's dark, cold and
smells like a tomb
there is nothing that my hand can do
but grip my bic and write about you
so I choke down my f

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I finished the sonnet - Mood:Good
Thursday January 10 200810:34:13 PM |
and it makes me angry. See my previous journal for some really good sonnets by la_fergola and lucky292 or 929 or whatever the number combination may be.

title: bar spider
His drunken eyes ran back and forth across
the crowded room. He spied a couple young
players leaning on a table. "Eh, boss,
I have a suggestion--" with his tight tongue
he flicked his cigarette and watched the ash
as it fell on his faded jeans. "How 'bout
we play for this here table? Or for cash?"
From his flannel pocket he pulled out
a crumpled twenty, slightly ripped. His stick
was cracked and crooked. The only reason
to wake was drinking beer and playing quick
to get money. Every night this season
he stumbled home and saw, in the mirror,
the chiseled bags under his eyes clearer.

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I have to write a sonnet and it`s going to killlll meeeee - Mood:Good
Thursday January 10 20081:37:21 AM |
God I hate iambic pentameter. I hate it. I hate it. I HATE IT.

I also have to write a story titled ""How the fern got smashed"

This is what I have for my poem
title: One Double Oh Seven

His drunken eyes ran back and forth across
the crowded room. He spied a couple young
players leaning on a table. "Hi boss-
I have a suggestion. Use your lungs"

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what happened to mi llave?! - Mood:Good
Wednesday January 09 20081:07:56 AM |
I feel duped.

I'm trying to get the guy I'm with to come over and bone but I don't have a phone anymore and he's not online.

This isn't working out for me.

I found mi llave.

Somebody needs to talk to me. And not about the new YT set-up.

Perhaps about the fact that my secret santa ripped me off.

Here's an idea, send me a PM! If those yellow bars are still here, and we have this rad new set up, I'm gonna be pissed.

1, 2, 3 GO!

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so who was uggle? - Mood:Good
Monday January 07 20087:50:03 AM |
this will NOT be a bashing thread. No uggle bashing in this thread, please. If you would like to bash, create your own thread and bash there.

BUT

I want to know if I was right.
Did she state her *true* identity on new years or what?

I'm outside the loop.

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