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Female, 29 years old
land locked , ., Western US

  Offline - Last On: 6hrs ago

38 Buddies
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42,484 Posts | Member Since: 12/21/2001
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Interests: Poetry / Music / Cats / Writing / Philosophy
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:1/19/1986 (29 Years Old)
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Politics: Liberal
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Ungh. - Mood:Good
Saturday December 29 20073:58:47 AM |
I'm hooking up with the guy again.
I can't seem to let go of a booty call when I have it.

But apparently, this is what the single life of twenty-something year olds consists of.

My cat is lying at my back, he's so warm and fuzzy.
I've been very inspired to write lately, just haven't really taken the intiative. I want to write something about driving up to visit a friend in the city & listening to a CD they had bought me, but once I get there the CD ends and i just turn around and drive home while the moon lights my wya.

I just don't know where the twist will sit in. Oh well. I think of something.

For x-mas I receieved: $12,000 from my nana for school, $1,500 from my parents for a CC bill, a random assortment of foods & toilet paper, led zeppelin 3, a pinback album, a wallet, the new smashing pumpkins album, a mp3 player, a beatles and philosophy book, a bunch of lotions, a shel siverstein book..and I think that's it.

I really appreciate everything i receieved,

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EuRoTrIp! - Mood:Good
Thursday December 27 20076:55:00 PM |
So, this summer, my friend and I are doing the backpack through europe thing.

We are landing in dublin, staying there for a few days, catching a ferry to luxemborg, then going to see stonehenge and then staying with her fam in london.

After that we'll hop over to france (paris, staying with fam), I want to go to Louvre and see Jim Morrison's grave..then we're going to germany (berlin) and also finding a concentration camp to visit..

Then we're going to Budapesht for a couple days and see the dead baby tower, then down to Italy for a week(sistine chapel, vatican city), then we'll catch a boat to greece and remain for a week in greece.

After that, I'm catching a plane to the Philippines to visit my brother and baby nephew who I haven't seen yet.


The reason I'm posting this is because I've never been to Europe, and wondering if people have any recommendations?

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It`s so damn cold. - Mood:Good
Saturday December 22 20074:56:59 AM |
Yahoo weather states that's it's "35 degrees but feels like 30"

F*cking beautiful ocean, making it feel all colder and shiznit.

Today wasn't nearly as interesting as yesterday. I woke up. Did some dishes. Talked to my cat, the usual.

My roomie has been out of town for about a week, and I realized the longer amount of time I'm left alone, the more prone I am to talk to myself. I was basically having a conversation with myself in the shower, it was so weird.

I went to the bar with a friend I haven't seen in awhile, caught up with him, his g/f, and his gf's dad...haha. It was random, but he travels alot and filled us in with all his interesting stories. He focused mainly on berlin & croatia.

On my way there, on of their friends biked up behind me and I was like oh blah blha I'm going to go see these people, so he tagged along for a bit. It was cool, we biked together...I rarely bike with other people. It's fun

There are 7 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Today is my 6 year YT anniversary... - Mood:Good
Friday December 21 20075:41:51 PM |
damn. I think I've averaged about 2,200 posts a year.


I need a life.

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My life is simply complex - Mood:Good
Friday December 21 20074:30:11 PM |
Ha, not really. But it is.

Anyway, yesterday was really interesting. I had my training for the soundboard at the radiostation I'm volunteering at, and it was only supposed to be from 10-12. I ended up not leaving til like 2:15 because the trainer and I ended up having a 2 hour philosophical conversation, mostly revolving around the movie "The Secret" which I haven't seen, but I think my personal beliefs reolve around those beliefs.

We also talked about how the social and economic infrastuctures keep people in the mental cycle of not changing (perhaps) because "the secret" is a very ameri-centric concept...or is it?

Well, after that I came home and made lunch, teriyaki steak stir fry! Yum.

Then I went to work, where this spiritual healer named Illumina from Barson Bay (australia) became obsessed with me. well, not obsessed..but she was really interested in was kinda weird. We talked.

My bosses also gave me 50 dollars as a gift for christmas.

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I got my grades. - Mood:Good
Wednesday December 19 20075:44:30 AM |
I got:

Creative writing (major course): A
Asian Lit: B
Modern Lit: Pass (but I would've gotten a B+ if I took it for a grade)
Yoga: Pass

I'm kinda pissed. I did a lot more work in my Asian American Lit. class, and I received a B. I think it's because I turned in a lot of things late...

and I didn't turn 2 at all. Haha, Ok, so I guess I deserve it, but I rocked ass on my final paper and on my presentation.

Boo, oh well. I got an A in my creative writing class, f*cking finally. All my other creative writing classes I've gotten A-'s. I think it's because my writing has strengthened a lot in the past 6 months.

I'll do better next quarter, I know it. And I won't waste a class I'm gonna pass on pass/no pass.

I just thought I would've gotten a C in that class, because it was soooo hard.

BUt, since everyone was doing bad he kinda curved it, and if you attended this opera (madama butterfly) he would bump you up a WHOLE grade level.

Which would've given me a B+.


There are 14 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

i want a boyfriend so he can buy me really nice christmas gifts :-( - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 18 20077:59:42 PM |
that i'd like.

Haha, I know that sounds terribly commercial, and I don't mean it in that sense but...

I was just hanging out with my friend and we went christmas shopping, she bought him an espresso machine and he bought her 2 tickets to see the nutcracker in san francisco.

I want someone to buy me nice things I've never had a lover around a holiday...and my parents buy me nice things but not like, things i really want...if that makes sense.


I'll wait til next year.

Knowing me, I'll probably end up marrying a jew.

*le sigh*

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So far I`ve passed yoga and my opera course... - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 18 20076:46:12 AM |
which was hard as f*ck.

Which is why I took it pass/fail aka credit/no credit AND
I got credit.

Not for yoga; my opera class. I struggled so much trying to keep up with the general content of the course; it was rather irritating.

I'm also surprised I passed yoga, I didn't go for the last month. Meh, as long as I don't have a no pass on my transcript it's alllll gooood.

I don't know what I got for my other 2 classes though. I expect NO LESS than an A or A- in my creative writing class, and I expect no less than a B in my Asian American literature class.
Actually, I think I'm going to get either two A-'s, or a B+ and an A-.

That sounds about right.

Yay! School has been working out AOK for me so far. As of yet, my transcript for upper-div work reads:
C (stupid f*cking fem studies course that ended up being about quantum theory )

another A, B, P, P will definitely strengthen my GPA.

oh, school.

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I keeep on sneezing. - Mood:Good
Monday December 17 20074:18:52 PM |
But I'm not sick, hell no, I just got OVER being sick a couple weeks ago

But I haven't been working out and not eating my veggies, so I'm sure my immune system is dropping.

I think I'm getting depressed again. My sleeping schedule is all out of whack, I'll get up at like 8, be hella awake, take a shower etc...then crawl back into bed and sleep until noon.

Or until one of my friends call me.

Whatever, I always get depressed this time of year.

I have a lot of stuff to do today, I think...

I'm going to call my friend Matt. i was supposed to call him last week but I was too busy procrastinating to ever do anythiing.
I have to wait for training on the sound board as an engineer..
I might have to go to work.
I have to During finals my roommate and I totally shat out on cleaning.

I need to go grocery shopping...I think I'll do that after I finish this bowl.

BUt I hate grocery shopping stoned.


It might be late

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I hate my job. - Mood:Good
Sunday December 16 200711:28:23 PM |
So I just had to kick a bum out of the hotel.
They tricked the system and basically didn't pay for their room.
Well, they did, through her dad's CC, but it's like 2000 dollars
and we don't do monthly rentals...

and she was asking me about breakfast...

she said she just wanted to get out of the cold...

I feel bad...

so so bad...

but it's my job...

stupid empath...

stupid eros...

There are 12 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`m tired of bending backwards - Mood:Good
Saturday December 15 20075:11:34 AM |
walking over white notes with my hands and black notes with my feet while dancing in quarter-note rainfalls...

It's too loud to stand.

C major brightened my day but b minor told me to hide when the moon came out to cry. She would sing, she would sing for the ring of the bell in her heart that won't start to sing.

It's too quiet to breathe.

BLAAAAAH. I still have writer's block. I wrote that right now...I'm trying to see where forced spontenaity gets me.

I'm also kinda drunk, and my jewish friend and I made "special" latkes! It's great. I wnat more burrr actually.

what am I listening to..yardbirds blues type sh*t. It's pretty rad.

Can't the cat walk on the windowsill?
I don't know. The tail is broken, it flips awkwardly
as the cat waddles like a duck
instead of prowling like a lion

ok that erally sucks. HELP ME.

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Friday December 14 20074:49:23 AM |
Anyone care to revise an essay on the opera Moses and Aron for me??? I'll pay you in virtual sexual favors.

Not really. But you can pretend I am.

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The mouse is in the house groused the louse on the louse. - Mood:Good
Thursday December 13 20072:57:11 AM |

I'm going f*cking insane. I've been doing homework ALLLLLL_LLL-LL_lL



I did two 2 page papers, read a 70 page novel (which wasn"t too bad) wrote another 8 pages of a 12 page paper due tomorrow..

and I still have more to do.

I just want to smoke a bowl and play the piano

I think I'm gonna play the piano regardless, but I really wanna smoke a bowl.

I just wanna relllaaaxxxxxx

and I have to wake up by noon tomorrow to meet some guys on campus so we can proofread eachothers papers.

This quarter, I read 10 novels for this one class. They were all really good, but it"s REALLY hard to condense that information into 12 pages. I'm talking about identity within the model-minority right now.

And the concept of the "perpetual foreigner"

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Weezer (pinkerton) = Madama Butterfly - Mood:Good
Wednesday December 12 20073:47:39 AM |

This weekend I went to San Fran and saw Madama Butterfly performed at the opera house. It's a very famous and beautiful production, I enjoyed it immensely.


I've totally realized a few things regarding a Weezer CD.

When I was younger, I dunno, sophomore year in highschool, I was in love with this album. I still listen to it about pentayearly, it's that good. It's titled "Pinkerton," which I had no idea what it was, and now I know that's the name of the antagonist in the opera.

Also, there is a line in the album that goes "Listening to Cio-cio- san, fall in love all over again" and I remember asking my farther who cho-chosan was, and he didn't know. I had assumed it was some jazz player, but that question still always lingered in the back of my mind.

Cio-cio-san is the antagonist of Madama Butterfly, Butterfly herself.

Then they sing about japanese girls and such, and there are a few other allusions as well.

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NEW f*CkinG YEARS!!!! - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 11 200710:21:21 PM |
I'm supposed to be super excited.

Instead I'm researching this new years show I'm going to see and I'm getting super f*cking excited for it!

I am seeing...

*drum roll please*



Ok. I know I've seen them twice this year alone...

'but this is like, my favorite band. On new years. Wtf.

Costumes are required. My friends are going as Bob Dylan and one of the Blues Brothers and I'm going as Janis Joplin.

This is going to be sooooo f*cking sweeeeet I'm like practically ejaculating on myself right now.


I want to do osmething at the show. I'm thinking either E or shrooms, but shrooms might be wayyy to intense for this situation. I shroomed at the last show of tehirs I went to, but that was at a small venue.

Do any of you have an super fantastic new years plans?

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S1nc3 1 48V3 3n0u6h 0f 743S3 0n Mys8c3.. - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 11 20075:37:51 AM |
Is there somebody in your life that you could not survive without?
not really

How many close friends do you have?
really, really close? Like 3 or 4. Really good friends, about 20.

Who is the most beautiful person you know?
my friends either ashley or juliette

Most annoying?

Who in your life has hurt you the most?
my family

Is there someone you know you should hate, but you cant?

Do you like someone as more than a friend right now?
um not really

Do you miss anybody?
not a girl that misses much

Have you ever lost anybody close to you?
yes. i've lost many

Is there anyone you trust even though you should not?
um, if i knew i shouldn't, why would i trust them?

Who knows you best?

Ever given your all to someone who walked away?

Relationship or Hook-Up?

Need anyone?
no one other than myself

Ever kissed someone you regretted after?
no, it's kissing..

Ever told a member of

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ask me anything! - Mood:Good
Sunday December 09 20079:20:09 PM |
I'm bored.
entertain me.
I'll try to answer as many as I can.
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My love is music. I will marry melody. - Mood:Good
Sunday December 09 20075:25:01 PM |
Ok, so I'm in the process of finding some good music to listen to. My current kick is classical/symphonic/orchestraic/operatic.

I've listened to what I have a million bajillion times, and I want something new. So, if any ofyou have any suggestions I would appreciate it.

What I have:

Bach, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Puccini (Madama Butterfly), Verdi (la triviata), Bizet (carmen), Donzetti, Gluck, Mozart, Hassid, Holst, Pavarotti, Rossini, Bellini, London symphony orchestra/ string quartet covering tool/white stripes/metallica etc..

and I want something new.

Do any of you have any favorite classical songs/composers etc?


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Revisions ofo the POE TREEEEE - Mood:Good
Friday December 07 20079:52:27 PM |
title: nature vs nurture
When the day
is truly dead and buried

the night whispers hello
by lifting sheets of color

and replacing them
with sheets of gray

while under woven shadows
the ocean fondles the shore

as we lay miles away

to brown seals

by the sea
I am jealous

that we have to fight
for a handshake.

title: f*ck buddy
Last Sunday when I learned
you liked pears more than peaches
I laid behind you,
tracing stars on your back with my middle finger,
imitating ones the tenant before
had painted red on your backdoor.
I listened to the rain.

I watched you breathe,
frantically trying to breathe like you,
tantrically with you,
(out while you out)
(out while you in)
(in while you out)
(in while you in)
but, as if I were running,
I couldn’t help but breathe
too fast.
Desperately I tried to make my heart
beat in rhythm with yours
as I pressed
my chest

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i`m having an emotional breakdown - Mood:Good
Thursday December 06 20071:42:31 AM |
and i can't control it.

i have so much hwk to do too.

1 portfolio (10 poems)
1 book report (in which I have to also read the book)
2 short papers

and I can't stop crying. I don't know what to do. I feel so...hurt...for no real reason. This happens occasionally.

I think i'm bipolar. my mom is.

i'm typing now so i think i can get through this and start my sh*t.

i watched the opera moses & aron today. have any of you seen that? it's so incredibly odd.


I hate people.

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Thursday November 29 20074:08:18 AM |
yay or nay

and, sorry for being a journal whore.

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Because I have writer`s block... - Mood:Good
Thursday November 29 20073:10:07 AM |
I've been playing the piano instead.
I recently taught myself how to play the beginning of that My Chemical Romance song, Across the Universe and Konstantine.

I want something else to play! I'm thinking of going out and purchasing a bunch of sheet music tomorrow; I know I want to find Chris O'Reily's rendition of Like Spinning Plates (radiohead) and some coldplay songs, but do you guys have any other recommendations?

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poe-tree foe-tree in the moe-tree - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 27 20077:44:30 PM |
i haven't been able to write well lately- and today I just vomitted 3 poems onto the page (not very good ones, but we'll see where they go)

as you all know, i'm always very open to critique!!

title: you I ache
I know you sat far from me
on purpose.
You always do.
But it hurts-
your presence hurts-
your presence removed hurts
even worse-
But it's not a pain
it's an ache
an ache inside of me
that twists and turns
and pushes and pulls
and pulls and pulls
you closer to me
but it aches...
It aches to watch you
turn your head as
I stare at the contours
of your neck and gasp.
I lose my breath because
I want to touch it aches.
It aches not like the funny bone
and not like the loss of a mother
'but more like the loss of a lover
that I have yet to love.
That I will never love
because I cannot love
I am a tin woman
who sits and aches.

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Oh yeah, alright- I`m a radio star! - Mood:Good
Sunday November 25 200710:39:14 PM |
Well, no, not yet.

And probably never.

But I just got accepted to work as a sound board specialist person on a poetry radio show. The host is also going to let me recite some of my poetry sometimes, as well as host a College show sometime!

I'm excited. It's totally a local station, but who cares, I'm gonna be on the radio!

Training will start later this week. I'm exciiiited.

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quick sex question - Mood:Good
Sunday November 25 20077:08:59 PM |
since it seems to be yt's topic of today.

Without any mouth to mouth contact, can one get a cold from having sex with somebody?
I mean, can it be a sexually transmitted disease? Or is it just passed on from saliva?

I have a cold, and my friend is coming over if I just avoid kissing him...will it all be good?

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