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Female, 28 years old
land locked , ., Western US


38 Buddies
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42,029 Posts | Member Since: 12/21/2001
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Interests: Poetry / Music / Cats / Writing / Philosophy
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:1/15/1986 (28 Years Old)
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Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
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Politics: Liberal
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Fav. Song: songs
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Theme 'bondage_beauty' created by o0MaryJane0o
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I`m tired of bending backwards - Mood:Good
Saturday December 15 20075:11:34 AM |
walking over white notes with my hands and black notes with my feet while dancing in quarter-note rainfalls...

It's too loud to stand.

C major brightened my day but b minor told me to hide when the moon came out to cry. She would sing, she would sing for the ring of the bell in her heart that won't start to sing.

It's too quiet to breathe.

BLAAAAAH. I still have writer's block. I wrote that right now...I'm trying to see where forced spontenaity gets me.

I'm also kinda drunk, and my jewish friend and I made "special" latkes! It's great. I wnat more burrr actually.

what am I listening to..yardbirds blues type sh*t. It's pretty rad.

Can't the cat walk on the windowsill?
I don't know. The tail is broken, it flips awkwardly
as the cat waddles like a duck
instead of prowling like a lion

ok that erally sucks. HELP ME.

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Friday December 14 20074:49:23 AM |
Anyone care to revise an essay on the opera Moses and Aron for me??? I'll pay you in virtual sexual favors.

Not really. But you can pretend I am.

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The mouse is in the house groused the louse on the louse. - Mood:Good
Thursday December 13 20072:57:11 AM |

I'm going f*cking insane. I've been doing homework ALLLLLL_LLL-LL_lL



I did two 2 page papers, read a 70 page novel (which wasn"t too bad) wrote another 8 pages of a 12 page paper due tomorrow..

and I still have more to do.

I just want to smoke a bowl and play the piano

I think I'm gonna play the piano regardless, but I really wanna smoke a bowl.

I just wanna relllaaaxxxxxx

and I have to wake up by noon tomorrow to meet some guys on campus so we can proofread eachothers papers.

This quarter, I read 10 novels for this one class. They were all really good, but it"s REALLY hard to condense that information into 12 pages. I'm talking about identity within the model-minority right now.

And the concept of the "perpetual foreigner"

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Weezer (pinkerton) = Madama Butterfly - Mood:Good
Wednesday December 12 20073:47:39 AM |

This weekend I went to San Fran and saw Madama Butterfly performed at the opera house. It's a very famous and beautiful production, I enjoyed it immensely.


I've totally realized a few things regarding a Weezer CD.

When I was younger, I dunno, sophomore year in highschool, I was in love with this album. I still listen to it about pentayearly, it's that good. It's titled "Pinkerton," which I had no idea what it was, and now I know that's the name of the antagonist in the opera.

Also, there is a line in the album that goes "Listening to Cio-cio- san, fall in love all over again" and I remember asking my farther who cho-chosan was, and he didn't know. I had assumed it was some jazz player, but that question still always lingered in the back of my mind.

Cio-cio-san is the antagonist of Madama Butterfly, Butterfly herself.

Then they sing about japanese girls and such, and there are a few other allusions as well.

There are 14 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

NEW f*CkinG YEARS!!!! - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 11 200710:21:21 PM |
I'm supposed to be super excited.

Instead I'm researching this new years show I'm going to see and I'm getting super f*cking excited for it!

I am seeing...

*drum roll please*



Ok. I know I've seen them twice this year alone...

'but this is like, my favorite band. On new years. Wtf.

Costumes are required. My friends are going as Bob Dylan and one of the Blues Brothers and I'm going as Janis Joplin.

This is going to be sooooo f*cking sweeeeet I'm like practically ejaculating on myself right now.


I want to do osmething at the show. I'm thinking either E or shrooms, but shrooms might be wayyy to intense for this situation. I shroomed at the last show of tehirs I went to, but that was at a small venue.

Do any of you have an super fantastic new years plans?

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S1nc3 1 48V3 3n0u6h 0f 743S3 0n Mys8c3.. - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 11 20075:37:51 AM |
Is there somebody in your life that you could not survive without?
not really

How many close friends do you have?
really, really close? Like 3 or 4. Really good friends, about 20.

Who is the most beautiful person you know?
my friends either ashley or juliette

Most annoying?

Who in your life has hurt you the most?
my family

Is there someone you know you should hate, but you cant?

Do you like someone as more than a friend right now?
um not really

Do you miss anybody?
not a girl that misses much

Have you ever lost anybody close to you?
yes. i've lost many

Is there anyone you trust even though you should not?
um, if i knew i shouldn't, why would i trust them?

Who knows you best?

Ever given your all to someone who walked away?

Relationship or Hook-Up?

Need anyone?
no one other than myself

Ever kissed someone you regretted after?
no, it's kissing..

Ever told a member of

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ask me anything! - Mood:Good
Sunday December 09 20079:20:09 PM |
I'm bored.
entertain me.
I'll try to answer as many as I can.
There are 46 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

My love is music. I will marry melody. - Mood:Good
Sunday December 09 20075:25:01 PM |
Ok, so I'm in the process of finding some good music to listen to. My current kick is classical/symphonic/orchestraic/operatic.

I've listened to what I have a million bajillion times, and I want something new. So, if any ofyou have any suggestions I would appreciate it.

What I have:

Bach, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Puccini (Madama Butterfly), Verdi (la triviata), Bizet (carmen), Donzetti, Gluck, Mozart, Hassid, Holst, Pavarotti, Rossini, Bellini, London symphony orchestra/ string quartet covering tool/white stripes/metallica etc..

and I want something new.

Do any of you have any favorite classical songs/composers etc?


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Revisions ofo the POE TREEEEE - Mood:Good
Friday December 07 20079:52:27 PM |
title: nature vs nurture
When the day
is truly dead and buried

the night whispers hello
by lifting sheets of color

and replacing them
with sheets of gray

while under woven shadows
the ocean fondles the shore

as we lay miles away

to brown seals

by the sea
I am jealous

that we have to fight
for a handshake.

title: f*ck buddy
Last Sunday when I learned
you liked pears more than peaches
I laid behind you,
tracing stars on your back with my middle finger,
imitating ones the tenant before
had painted red on your backdoor.
I listened to the rain.

I watched you breathe,
frantically trying to breathe like you,
tantrically with you,
(out while you out)
(out while you in)
(in while you out)
(in while you in)
but, as if I were running,
I couldn’t help but breathe
too fast.
Desperately I tried to make my heart
beat in rhythm with yours
as I pressed
my chest

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i`m having an emotional breakdown - Mood:Good
Thursday December 06 20071:42:31 AM |
and i can't control it.

i have so much hwk to do too.

1 portfolio (10 poems)
1 book report (in which I have to also read the book)
2 short papers

and I can't stop crying. I don't know what to do. I feel so...hurt...for no real reason. This happens occasionally.

I think i'm bipolar. my mom is.

i'm typing now so i think i can get through this and start my sh*t.

i watched the opera moses & aron today. have any of you seen that? it's so incredibly odd.


I hate people.

There are 10 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Thursday November 29 20074:08:18 AM |
yay or nay

and, sorry for being a journal whore.

There are 19 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Because I have writer`s block... - Mood:Good
Thursday November 29 20073:10:07 AM |
I've been playing the piano instead.
I recently taught myself how to play the beginning of that My Chemical Romance song, Across the Universe and Konstantine.

I want something else to play! I'm thinking of going out and purchasing a bunch of sheet music tomorrow; I know I want to find Chris O'Reily's rendition of Like Spinning Plates (radiohead) and some coldplay songs, but do you guys have any other recommendations?

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poe-tree foe-tree in the moe-tree - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 27 20077:44:30 PM |
i haven't been able to write well lately- and today I just vomitted 3 poems onto the page (not very good ones, but we'll see where they go)

as you all know, i'm always very open to critique!!

title: you I ache
I know you sat far from me
on purpose.
You always do.
But it hurts-
your presence hurts-
your presence removed hurts
even worse-
But it's not a pain
it's an ache
an ache inside of me
that twists and turns
and pushes and pulls
and pulls and pulls
you closer to me
but it aches...
It aches to watch you
turn your head as
I stare at the contours
of your neck and gasp.
I lose my breath because
I want to touch it aches.
It aches not like the funny bone
and not like the loss of a mother
'but more like the loss of a lover
that I have yet to love.
That I will never love
because I cannot love
I am a tin woman
who sits and aches.

There are 19 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Oh yeah, alright- I`m a radio star! - Mood:Good
Sunday November 25 200710:39:14 PM |
Well, no, not yet.

And probably never.

But I just got accepted to work as a sound board specialist person on a poetry radio show. The host is also going to let me recite some of my poetry sometimes, as well as host a College show sometime!

I'm excited. It's totally a local station, but who cares, I'm gonna be on the radio!

Training will start later this week. I'm exciiiited.

There are 8 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

quick sex question - Mood:Good
Sunday November 25 20077:08:59 PM |
since it seems to be yt's topic of today.

Without any mouth to mouth contact, can one get a cold from having sex with somebody?
I mean, can it be a sexually transmitted disease? Or is it just passed on from saliva?

I have a cold, and my friend is coming over if I just avoid kissing him...will it all be good?

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Bad Moods - Mood:Good
Sunday November 25 20076:07:09 PM |
I've been in such a sour mood since Thanksgiving. It's really weird and it's throwing me off.
I just feel like frowning all the time.

I don't know how to place it, I'm assuming it's just an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I'm kinda tired of not having a boyfriend, especially during "the season."

But, I don't want to settle on my f*ck buddy, though I do enjoy his company and all...


Last night I wanted to be held so much it hurt. I've never had that feeling before. I'm starting to crave attention and affection; 2 things I normally despise. I normally hate being showered with affection, little kisses and warm embraces...

it was a very physical yearning too. It's like this desire to be held took a form inside me and began to ache. Not just hurt, but ache.

It was very weird. I've never felt this sensation before.

I just want to stop being sad and lonely

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I had a weird dream and I just bought mars volta tickets.. - Mood:Good
Saturday November 24 20073:51:57 AM |
for NEW YEARS! YAY! But now I have to ask for work off. That'


But whatever. If all goes well I have my ticket! My friend bought his awhile ago so I do have people to go with as well...

but the mars volta @ new years would be.the. drating poo!

So, my dream.

I was sick, had smoked a lot of pot from a volcano and took some nyquil, so weird dreams were bound to happen..

anyways, I was apart of some like race or something, and we were racing through the forest through some huts.
Then, my team like all got together and we got sent into a huge warehouse/department store type thing, and it was seperated into racial sections.

It was my job to lead my group to the mexican section, as the host of the show assigned me to do. But nobody would listen to me and we went to an asian part instead, but they insisted that it was mexican because the furniture was used. Once we reached the top level (there was like 8) I found an asian symbol..

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I just saw GwaR - Mood:Good
Thursday November 22 20074:19:30 AM |
f&ck yeah. my friends and i dressed as brides and went and saw gwar; we went hella early and got f*cked up (i"m still faded) and got all dyed and sh*t.

My white shirt is now green blue redish or osmething like that, my face got sprayed a million bajillion times.

it was awesome.

i also made out with my girlfriends (first time for me!) and my random guy friends. '

it was an amazing show. i"m still drunk.

i have a FAT bruise/bump onmy leg, i hope i get over that.

god, the show was amazing.

i'm so happy to be me.

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I`m sick and I have to see GWAR tomorrow :-( - Mood:Good
Wednesday November 21 20073:13:07 AM |
I"ve been doing my best to get super healthy for tomorrow. I'm drinking green tea, sleeping, using nyquil/dayquil, drinking both emergen-c and orange juice ( oj 3 times a day ec once) and using cough drops.

I'm hoping this wooorrrkkks.

I need to be good for GWAR tomorrow. My firends and I planned on going (i have a ticket already), getting sh*tfaced and dressing as brides.

'this is going to be super fun.
I can"t wait!

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Make you work work make you work - Mood:Good
Sunday November 18 20076:55:54 PM |
dun nu dun nu nu dun dun nu nu

I'm chilling in my little office thing. Boy, being a receptionist for a hotel sure is easy-peas.

I don't even know what to do with myself anymore.

I ordered some pizza dominoes: pepperoni, italian sausage, mushroom & jalapeno (yum!) so that's going to come in an hour or so....

Most of the people are already in. I do have a paper or 2 to write that I could begin..but I have to finish reading the book first!

So it's basically a small compilation of short stories and it's really interesting- I just get bored. I can read for about an hour to two solidly, but then after that I need a break.

So, I've got about a third of the book read, but I still have so much farther to go.

It's called Blood and Soap, by the way, and it's by Dihn Lihn.

The short stories are really interesting. I read another short story book by Don Lee called Yellow for this class recently.

Oh, it's for my asian american literature.

'cause I'm asian american and all. <

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I``m drunk again - Mood:Good
Saturday November 10 20075:01:01 AM |
I think I have a problem.
I love my cat.
'You should see my last post.
My enter button is broken.
My enter botton puts the apostrophe occaisonally.
I"m really drunk.
I have a bottle of water on my chin.
My chin is cold.
It's purified water.
The water is purified through the brita filter.
The brita filter costs 30 bucks.
I didn't buy a birta filter today.
UI'm durnk.
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Friday November 09 20075:53:43 AM |
he's my Little Girl

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today really sucked - Mood:Good
Friday November 09 20075:19:26 AM |
yep. it really, really, really sucked.

But disregarding that, here's my most recent poem:

so far it's untitled:

I remember when we thought the well in your backyard led to hell. I remember your mother telling us in Spanish, and I remember being more fascinated than afraid. I remember lining the circumference with white candles and crosses made out of that pink flowering plant that was poisonous to cats. I remember making potions out of soil, saliva and sugar that we’d dump into the well while reciting chants we had created to keep the devil the hell out of your backyard. “Devil oh Devil, though the world is level, you can’t come up and tip-toe. Devil oh Devil, though the world is level, please stay down below.” I remember the oak tree that grew next to the well, the one we’d never climb because the spirits lived in the leaves. I remember when that tree died, and how we had blamed it on the well, throwing in rocks and chewed dog bones as a form of rev

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pg-13 warning. sex talk. - Mood:Good
Thursday November 08 20072:03:22 AM |
sex talk!

I had the hottest sex my life last night. In a few keywords, it consisted of:

wrist restraints
multiple orgasms
leash and collars
video taping

mmm...I've been thinking about it all day. I can't get over it! What's the best sex you've ever had??

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with your feet in the air and your head on the ground - Mood:Good
Tuesday November 06 20074:25:17 PM |
where is my mind?

I'm at work- I get to go home today...yay!! I've been living at my work for 4 days (i work at a hotel) 'cause my bosses are out of town.

But I KNOW there is drama waiting for me. Just...waiting...ugh

Drama drama drama

Rossini's overtura for The barber of seville is one of my favorites.

But I don like tchaikovsky's overture too..

but rossini's kicks ass.


Help me.

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