(No profile music for iheartvelcro)
(27 Years Old)
IM Name: jengarocks|
|Occupation:|| refuse technician|
(Decline to State)|
(Decline to State)|
|Fav. Movie:|| Repo Man|
|Fav. TV Show:|| Late Night With Conan O`Brien|
|Fav. Book:|| The Giving Tree; Catcher In The Rye|
|Fav. Song:|| Golden Years by David Bowie|
|Fav. Food:|| Pickles are gross.|
|Fav. Car:|| `67 Fastback|
|Theme 'Black Rage!' created by iheartvelcro||
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries
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| It`s time to play a game. - Mood:Good|
Monday April 26 20044:06:19 PM |
|It's called "Bad poetry." Make up a poem, prefferably short, off of the top of your head, and post it here. The teen angst genre is always entertaining. Try to use as plenty of poetic devices. |
It must be off of the top of ytour head, I don't want anything that you drunkenly wrote three weeks ago after your sexual partner cut off your shared exploits.
Spin-offs of the person above is good too, but you don't have to.
I shall start with my favorite form, the haiku:
Write what you want dear
In here there is no such fear
Except for old cheese.
Really, that didn't make much sense, but OK!
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| When I`m having sex, I don`t like to look the person in the face, because hey, what if it`s someone I know? - Mood:Good|
Monday April 26 20041:34:51 PM |
|I was feeling very sad about not being in a relationship and whatever other sh*t I could think of, and I was talking to Peter about it. I gave him one of those "I-want-to-do-you" hugs, and held onto it for a long time, and I almost kissed him. Thank f*cking God I didn't, I would've gone off somewhere and thrown up.|
Even if my stomach wasn't that uspet, I would've forced myself to throw up everything, even the lining of my stomach.
I'm not even sure why I'm so grossed out by the concept of sexual contact with Peter, but I'm just repulsed. He's not bad. It must stems from the fact that he's so aware of the fact that he's a gentleman, I hate that bullsh*t.
I need to find some nice, obnoxious indie rock guy, with longish hair and gray eyes, who's 6' or higher, and he writes terrible songs about me on his acoustic guitar. They're terrible, but at least they're about me! Oh, where are you, my pretentious love? Oh, he must also be good at witty banter.
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| Shrak In A Jet Pack Versus Croc In A Jet Pack (SoWhiteBread or anyone that resembles her awesomeness must definitely come in here. Even if you don`t think that you do, give it a try) - Mood:Good|
Saturday April 24 20044:39:55 PM |
|Read the title again, because that's the title of my term paper. I've decided to throw out all of my old conventions, and just go with something that will be incredibly fun to write. |
Yes, I stole the title from Adult Swim, who stole it from The Discovery Channel, so there are no losers.
I'm going to include some real facts about crocs and sharks, but there will be some crazy fictitious story overtaking the entire thing. I discussed this a bit with Hael, and he suggested that they have dueling gangs, which of course made me think of West Side Story, which of course made me think of them wearing Converse and hip clothing! And snappping and dance-offs.
It can also be "Ninja Shark Versus Ninja Croc" or replace "ninja" with "pirate" or "viking", or BEST OF ALL "robot."
But then again, robot sort of takes us back to jet pack.
So anyway, I need some fun ideas for my story, because there is a LOT of plot to fill.
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| I just ate some really old peanut brittle. I mean, really old. - Mood:Good|
Friday April 23 20046:53:07 PM |
|It doesn't even brittle anymore, it's soft. Also, it's my 5-year-old sister's. Ha, she wasn't eating it. I'm not sure how long it has been in the closet, but I know that it has been there a long long time, and it has recently been tranferred to the computer desk. I think my mom put it on the desk with the intentions of throwing it away, so I can't let it go to waste.|
Damn, really old peanut brittle is really good.
Z3 said that I could go to her prom with her. Woo-hoo! I get to go to a prom. There are many opportunity costs at my school, one of which is normal existance. No senior activities like prom or whatever else they can pull out of their asses. But at least I only have to go to school once a week.
But woo-hoo again, I get to go to a prom! I get to be somewhat normal!
Crap, I need some cash for a dress, preferrably under $30. I love being cheap. And no Macy's BS for me either, ha!
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| When my little siblings show me a new toy that they`ve received, it`s like they`re saying, Here, somthing else for you to clean up, for you are my cleaning bitch." - Mood:Good|
Wednesday April 21 20048:02:06 PM |
|I had to clean up their stupid playroom today. It was as if a tsunami hit, as there was a little moisture in some places. My 5-year-old sister has all of this stupid Polly Pocket bullsh*t, so I have to search the entire room (it's a rather large room) and put all of the stupid little pieces together. They have so many things with so many pieces, it's disgusting. |
F*ck that noise.
I read Aisha Tyler's book today. Yes, I started it today and finished it today. She's hilarious in this book. It really inspired me to just have fun, and not worry about Miles the ass (see yesterday's journal entry), and just do stuff, and all will be grand. Dude, it will.
I can't wait to go back to camp, to being a counselor. I wish I could show you "too much rock for one hand", and "rock turned inside out," and sing you the scat song, and the banana slug song. I could teach you, and then we could have a sing-along.
It would be most righteous. Or, rad even.
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| The boy that I kissed hates me. - Mood:Good|
Tuesday April 20 20044:56:29 PM |
|I kissed a guy named Miles in the darkness of the night when I was a camp counselor last week. HE was totally into it. After that, he completely ignored me. |
Today, Hannah and I brought this up with him. He said that "it wasn't cool," and he only does that "with people [he"> love[s">, and so far that has been no one."
Jesus christ, it's not like we f*cked! I didn't even grope his manhood!
Hannah asked, "Then why did you kiss her back?" He didn't have an answer.
I'm so confused. At this point, I don't even really like him, I just want to do him just because I can't. It's driving me crazy.
I can barely get my own parents to love me, let alone some kooky 15-year-old. I'm 17, so that's a little weird. Immature bastard.
|There are 46 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments|
| I`m back in YT Land, but I may make a permanent leave. - Mood:Good|
Friday April 16 20042:53:51 PM |
|I just got back from te Exploring New Horizons Outdoor School, where I was a counselor, and it was the most amazing experiance. It was out in a redwood forest, and it was just beautiful, with perfect weather, and I could always just be in the moment. The whole time I was there, I didn't think about any stupid crap going on in the outside world. Everything was just as it was presented.|
There weren't enough male counselors, so I volunteered to take a boys' cabin, and whoa, it was crazy. They were 5th grade boys, and they farted and burped their little hearts out. They were also really horny, talking about sex an awful lot. That was pretty creepy.
At night I got to patrol and party with my fellow counselors, and I never laughed so much in my life. Often I would be walking up a hill with someone, and I'd be laughing so hard that I'd just fall right over onto the hill.
I'm thinking about becoming a naturalist, the people that run the outdoor school.
|There are 9 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments|
| I`m leaving. - Mood:Good|
Sunday April 11 20046:46:03 PM |
|Tomorrow, unless some deity stirkes me down, I'm going to camp for a week, to be a camp counselor, and I'll get 5 credits for school. Oh yes! I've got my supplies, but now it's raking my brain as to how I'm going to get there. I've been trying to call my friend that lives down the street that's also going for a ride, but she hasn't picked up her phone in 4 days!|
I told my mom about the 13-year-old girl that stole my vicodin. I decided to take bored's advice, and act like an adult about it. My mother immediately said, "Give me her mother's phone number, now." She hasn't called her mother yet, she's too busy getting everyone else's advice about what she should do.
I really just don't want any contact with vicodin stealer again, I just want it to end. I want her to leave my life as quickly as she came in.
I'm not even sure if telling her mom will do any good, she's already been in drug treatment centers.
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| It was super awesomely awesome. - Mood:Good|
Wednesday April 07 20044:54:28 PM |
|At school yesterday, some dude asked me how long Peter and I had been going out. Peter and I aren't dating, and I would never date Peter, so I really need to make out with someone at school in front of people. Dating Peter would be bad for my rep', hardy har. |
I macked on sexy Travis the Asian, oh yes. I'll flip that sh*t upside down, fo' sho', whatever that means.
I went to the library to pick up the DVDs that I had on hold. When I walked intot the reserve aisle, I say a gold money clip with a $20 and some more. I looked around and then snatched it up. My guilt made my heart beat faster than usual, but the fact that it was a gold money clip indicated to me that it was a typical rich San Ramon jackass. Even if it wasn't, oh well.
There were $30 in it, so I went to Borders to buy a CD. I bought "Fly or Die," the new NERD album. Then I walked over to Target, which had it for $5 cheaper. Since I pride myself on being cheap, I returned
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| I`ll pay you with lots of love. - Mood:Good|
Sunday April 04 20048:21:16 PM |
|Can someone write me an economics terma paper? I had a topic and everything, but now it just seems way too hard to get into it. There's way too much random research involved, and I have so much other sh*t to do. |
I know that this request is probably futile, but I'll totally put you on my buddy list if you do this for me. And if you live close enoguh, I'll totally wash your car. Totally.
I love grilled cheese sandwiches, I had two today.
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| The bitch stole my vicodin! - Mood:Enraged|
Saturday April 03 200412:58:29 PM |
|Last night I got a feeling to check my medication box, since Vanessa and Chris, the young delinquents, had been over. I picked up my bottle of vicodin, and there was one lonely pill left. |
What the f*ck is that bullsh*t?!
I have a disease that causes me great pain. I'm not in pain right now, but when I do get it, it's enough to cause momentary blindness. I've taken so much vicodin that I'm used to the effects, and I don't think I'd feel one pill even if I crushed and snorted it.
I had decided before I found this one pill that they could never come over again, because of all of the other crappy destructive things that they had done, but now, I just might have to backhand Vanessa, 13-year-old twat. I'm definitely sticking to people my own age.
Boy, I can't wait to shake these motherf*ckers.
And, they use derogatory terms like "wetback" and "chink"! Disgusting.
Ew, the smell of puke is coming from the open window.
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| No more fat velcro! It`s time for hot ass velcro! - Mood:Good|
Friday April 02 20049:20:23 PM |
|Okay okay, I know that I'm not fat, and that I already have a totally hot ass, but I still strive for a better version of myself, since I'm on Prednisone. (I have Takayasu's Arteritis. If you really want to know, look it up on Google. The search will help you to remember my plight)|
Since I'm doing so well with another drug that they've been giving me, they decided to lower the prednisone! Woo-hoo! This is f*ckin' awesome, because that drug gives me puffy cheeks and a gut. I would have none of that crap if it weren't for that stupid drug, I'm naturally thin.
Prednisone isn't even doing anything right now, it's just so addictive that if I were to stop taking it suddenly, I could die from the withdrawl effects. Isn't that crazy? I could die! From such a tiny thing.
Now, I won't just look at myself twice at every shiny object that I pass by, but THREE times. This rules!
|There are 13 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments|
| I just happen to like recycling, so f*ck you bitch. - Mood:Good|
Friday April 02 20048:15:11 PM |
|Yesterday I went to school to meet with my counselor, because now I kow that I'm going to live with my aunt and uncle in San Jose. They're mindless consumers, they have all of this unnecessary crap, but I still like to play with their X-Box and space out to their surround sound. Hypocrisy rules. |
Anyway, at schoolI discovered that I'm obsessed, really obsessed, with a beautiful asian boy named Travis, who's 16. I don't even really want to eff him, I just want to stare at him, he's just beautiful. He has a great personality too, it's amazing. And, he can bust out some karate. He could only get better if he had a robotic hand, like Hael.
I ran into my 13-14-year-old friends Vanessa and chris, who came home with me so that they could dye their hair. They didn't dye anything. They just mad eout on my couch, watched my cable TV, ate my food, and, worst of all, they played with my siblings toys, and didn't pick them up!
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| He was very high, and we talked about the beauty quantum physics. - Mood:Good|
Tuesday March 30 20046:10:45 PM |
|I went to school today, and putzed around with Peter for most of the day. We plan on going on a road trip at the end of summer. If we do go, I hope that I don't end up having sex with him, I'd feel...I don't know, it's an ungood word that would describe my feelings. Maybe I just would get crazy hanging out with him for that long. But I really want to go. Boy, I need to weigh my options. |
I sat next to a sexy boy named Kip, with a sexy voice, and a sexy ripped body. He was very high, and it was hilarious to talk to him. he said quickly, "Hey, look at this picture!" and he pulled out a quantum physics book and talked about how amazing the pictures were. I totally would've taken him in the darkroom, but he had to go. Curses. Sexy sexy.
Pushin' in the pin.
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| a sexy sexy boy hit on me today, and it was awesome! - Mood:Excited|
Monday March 29 20046:07:47 PM |
|I went to school today to drop off Vanessa's math homework, since she left it in my backpack. We went to get breakfast once I met up with her, and we got four orders of hash browns from Burger King. We wished that there were homeless people where we lived, because we were unable to finish them, and it was such a waste to throw them away. |
I went inside to write a review for, "Dawn of the Dead," and I came out to see a sexy boy (later I found out that his name was Alex) sitting with Vanessa on the benches in the front of school.
After talking for a half-an-hour, he said, "Hey, I'm gonna go in the darkroom, you should come," and then he put a flower in my hair.
Vanessa was sitting on my lap, and we cracked up wholeheartedly as he walked away, since asking someone to go to the darkroom means that you want to make out with them.
I didn't go, but I did cuddle with him a bit when he came back. Ah, it was good times.
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| I got in trouble for being "gangsta." Bwahahaha! - Mood:Good|
Sunday March 28 20045:05:37 PM |
|I was hanging out in front of school on Thursday with Shawn and Vanessa when this black chick walked by into the school saying, "Yeah, I always gotta represent." Since I'm in a constant state of jesting, I decided to represent to the next person that walked through the door. |
When the door opened, I said, "West side, represent," and threw up my gang sign. We live in San Ramon, rich whitey central, so I really wasn't worried about upseting anyone.
But dammit, a bunch of wannbe gangstas happened to walk out of that door when I represented. The whitest, poserest of them all said, "What the f*ck?" I just responded with a, "It was a joke," and then a laugh, not expecting more.
He then reached into his pocket, pulled out some change, threw it at me, and said, "Go get a haircut."
What? What the mother f*ck does that even mean? Besides, it was only twenty cents.
he and his "crew" walked off about fifty feet into the
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| My clothing is completely soaked through. I could -so- win a wet t-shirt contest. - Mood:Good|
Thursday March 25 20045:23:12 PM |
|It was pouring rain when I attempted to ride my bike home in the rain. It was coming down directly into my eyes, blinding me, like hellbats. The cold wasn't really that bad, it was just being wet and blinded that really sucked. |
I couldn't stand it any longer, so I stopped at the library, and now I'm sitting here trying to gain the courage to go home. It's still pouring! It has been going on since noon. Dammit, I'm wearing jeans, two shirts, and a jacket, and my skin is totally wet.
"Caroline, she's the reason for the word bitch."
I loved that song before they made a video, and now I love the video. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's called "Roses" by Outkast.
"And mighty fine only got you somewhere half the time...and the other half either got you cussed out or, comin' up short."
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| There was blood everywhere. - Mood:Disgusted|
Wednesday March 24 20041:54:13 PM |
|I was sitting on the couch reading a book about the origin of the number zero when I heard a scream come from the other living room. It was my 3-year-old brother Solomon, and I ignored it, because it sounded like any other cry that he lets out numerous times during the die. |
The crying stopped, and I assumed everythng was fine, until he walked slowly into the room with a silent shriek coming from him, and then the screaming started again.
Blood was gurgling from an inch-long horizontal gash in the middle left of his forehead. I could see skin tissue inside for about 3 cm. It was so disgusting. My brother looked dizzy, so I hurredly called my mother, who told me to call an ambulance.
I watch a lot of TV, so I applied pressure to the open wound with a dry cloth, just like they tell me to do. The ambulance lady told me that that was correct.
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| When he said that he wished that every woman in the world looked like Pam Anderson, it made me want to cry for humanity. - Mood:Bad|
Tuesday March 23 20045:32:27 PM |
|As I sat talking to a friend at the skatepark, this kid named Sweet lips (age 12), said behind me, "This skatepark is so gay." In an attempt to mock him, I said, "Yeah, this park is totally homosexual." He looked at me angrily, and Beaver (age 13) said, "What the hell, you don't even skate, how do you know that this park is gay?" |
I didn't bring up the point that I actually do skate, but I continued, "I was making fun of the fact that you called the park "gay." Gay doesn't mean that something is bad."
Beaver was puzzled. "You like gay people? What the f*ck is wrong with you?"
Sweetlips joined in, " Yeah, what if everyone in the world was gay, then there wouldn't be anyone left!"
I was amazed at their opinions. "You do realize that straight people aren't just going to become gay because gay people are recognized."
"The only reason that you like gay people is because you watch too much
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| Suicide - Mood:Frightened|
Monday March 22 20047:24:15 PM |
|I did it. I stayed awake for my EEG, the test where I have to stay awake all night. I couldn't manage to fall asleep the night before, so I ended up staying awake for about 30 hours. I was slurring my speech by the end of it, like a dirty drunk. |
My aunt and uncle found out yesterday from a neighbor that a woman in their house had hung herself from the rafters above the stairs about two years before they had moved in. Mind you, this was just a few hours before I had to stay awake by myself all night. My aunt is thinking of sueing the people that sold the house to them, because not disclosing that info is a breach of contract.
So, I kept imagiining that I saw a dead woman bloated and hanging from the rafters. Damn all of my watching of History and Discovery channel for giving me such a good image of hanging people. Damn the stairs for runnning up a few feet from the couch.
Oh and my aunt and unle got a new puppy, so I had to sit next to and comfort it
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| I have to stay awake all night. literally. - Mood:Good|
Sunday March 21 20044:05:01 PM |
|Tonight, I'm not allowed to go to sleep after 10 o' clock. My doctors want me to do some weird test where they measure my brain waves or something, I think it's called an EEG. ANd don't say, "Do you mean an EKG?" That's a heart measurement. |
So i'm at my aunt's house for tonight, since she has a big screen TV, it's very shiny, an X-BOX, and DSL. It's going to be a long night.
When I first heard about the test, I thought, "Dude, there's no way I'll be able to do that." Then I thought about the time I flew to Italy, and I stayed awake for 23 hours. I was practically in tears, but I was awake.
I wanna take you to a gay bar gay bar gay bar!
That's what George is singing in my avatar.
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| My dad asked me, "Are you gonna be a fag hag?" - Mood:Good|
Friday March 19 20041:03:20 PM |
|Apparently because I'm into all this "gay stuff," like Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and gays' right to get married. |
I'll get a gay male best friend, and we'll see.
Last night I called this dude that i mad eout with about 3 years ago. He said that he didn't remember me. That made me feel a bit empty, it realy didn't help how sh*tty I've been feeling about myself.
After talking to him for a minute, though, I realized that I wasn't really missing out on much. He asked, "Do you know this song?" and played a song by The Strokes. When I told them they're a bit of a Tom Petty rip-off, and to play "American Girl" and "Last Nite" back-to-back, he didn't know who Tom Petty was.
What the hell? You're 17, jesus, how could you claim to be cool and not know who Tom Petty is? I mean, you don't have to be into him, I'm not, but at least be familiar with his work.
I also called CaptainTrips, and it was lots of laughs, as always.
My profile i
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| Jeses christ, am I really that unattractive? - Mood:Jealous|
Thursday March 18 20046:10:41 PM |
|Today, I ran into a guy that I've known for about three years, and have had a slight crush on for that long. Shawn. He's so hot, and cool, and funny, and just totally effable. He's my age, we get along great and all that sh*t.|
Then my new 13-year-old friend Vanessa comes along, with Chris, and we go to lunch at Carl's Jr. They just hit it off right away, and a few hours later, he's sitting there with his arm around her shoulder.
Mother f*cker! What is up with this chick? All these guys that I like think that she's super hot! She's f*cking 13! Well, she does look older, but still.
It's like she has some bizarre witchcraft. I feel like the ugly friend when we hang out.
She tried to give me some love advice, f*cking twat, "Just try not to be so sexual, act like you don't want them." Ha, it's just my goddam sense of humor. It's sad that I'm one of the few people that finds my jokes funny, I'm c-blocking myself.
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| Who would you rather have sex with: alive Star Jones, or a recently deceased Carmen Electra? - Mood:Good|
Monday March 15 20046:14:40 PM |
|Hoawrd Stern asked this question this morning, it was a very funny show today. I'll be very sad when he goes off of the air; if he goes on satellite radio, I'll definitely try to get that. |
Yesterday, I went to the Earth Team Youth Coalition Meeting with the president of our school's environmental club, Hannah. I get credit for it, don't think that I actually care about the world.
I sat directly across from a tall, scruffy looking boy named Ben with pretty blue eyes. He kept looking at me, and since I'm fun like this, I'd lick my lips and oucker them for a kiss every fourth time he'd look into my eyes.
It was the only comedy I could develop, as the meeting was rather boring.
I'll definitely go to the next meeting, in hopes that there will be more hot guys, or that I can score with the Ben. I'll feel him up good, he look slike such a virgin. Nice.
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