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Male, 20 years old
city, state, Southern US

  Offline - Last On: 5hrs ago

23 Buddies
29 Subscribers
19,234 Profile Views
14,632 Posts | Member Since: 11/4/2002
Link to this profile:

(No profile music for cola)

Interests: Poetry / Books / Feminism / Music / Arts/Crafts
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:8/1/1997 (20 Years Old)
IM Type: (Decline to State) IM Name:
Occupation: Sales Associate
Marital Status: Single
Sexual Preference: Bisexual
Religion: Christian
Politics: Liberal
Fav. Movie: Amelie
Fav. TV Show: X-Files
Fav. Book: Perks Of Being A Wallflower
Fav. Song: Hiding - Pianos Become The Teeth
Fav. Food: bugs
Fav. Car: 2001 Mitsubishi Eclipse
Theme 'Just peachy' created by Rolez
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

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wait a tick! that means... - Mood:Good
Monday October 30 20171:41:09 PM |

oh well. im not sad abt it. things werent going so great so it was a mutual thing. but thats okay. i was a little bummed out this morning but then i watched tv and redownloaded tinder and got hit on a bunch and now im ok.

we wanted different things. she wanted to let mental illness take over her life and refused to take her medication and then would blame it all on me, and i didnt want her to do that. for example.

but its all good no hard feelings.

i went to a really cool show on saturday and got really drunk (7 beers, 4 jello shots, 5 mimosas, and one, count em one, four loko) and then passed out on the couch and then somebody took off my shoes for me that was nice. anyways also im starting a band where i’m the frontman and its gonna be sick as hell. probably gonna go do something today but i dont know what whats up with you

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i got a bottle of wine, cherry garcia, and stranger things - Mood:Good
Friday October 27 20178:48:03 PM |
it’s weird to me that will is a real character now

tomorrow im going to a party where someone threatened to show up with a gun and kill himself and his ex girlfriend if she went to it

but i also have an incredibly busy day at work

i got a haircut today and it was a lot of hair off and im not used to it yet

whats up im tipsy!!

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someone told me i’m the definition of a millennial - Mood:Good
Sunday October 01 201712:59:33 PM |
howdy folks hows it goin?

took off work today because i felt like going to gatlinburg instead and i still havent left lol.

im going to an open mic night later this week to try out stand up just to see if my material is any good. so that’ll be cool i’m pretty excited about that.

life is goin alright but i really wish i had a better grasp on time because it truly feels like i’m in a rut and just caught in an endless time loop and days bleed together and i only sleep 15 hours a week really so i feel like i’m “living in the moment” so what the hell is up with that

my mom and i got into it because even though i’m paying her 600 bucks a month to live independently from her in her house, shes still mad that i’m... living independently in her house. but hopefully the beginning of next year i’ll have my own place covered in halloween sh-t all year long

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fresh to death like he got dressed in a coffin - Mood:Good
Sunday September 24 201710:55:51 PM |
time moves so weirdly these days

days themselves take a long time but they also blend together. yesterday was saturday but it feels like last wednesday was yesterday and friday is tomorrow.

makin money move at work. busting my ass off to pay off sh-t before i move. emptied out my bank account today to make a car payment, phone payment, groceries, and gas. i've also been going to classes and such for work and its been really fun and all but i dont want to go tomorrow cause i'll have to leave my house at 6:45 AM cause its in chattanooga at 10 AM.

i've been doing real well in my personal life too. ive been seeing somebody for a couple months now and its been really fun and good and the sex is amazing and stuff. so thats good.

my friend life is going great and i've been growing as a person a lot these past few months also i do ketamine a lot so i should probably stop that soon

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hey you guys are wiser than me... maybe. possibly. - Mood:Good
Monday September 04 201711:43:57 AM |
apartment a:
750 a month for a 2 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath
16 minutes away from work
11 minutes away from downtown
exposed brick wall in the living room.
average of 4.2 stars online

apartment b:
633 a month for a 3 bed 1 bath
17 minutes away from work
14 minutes to downtown
right next to a high school so no sex offenders but it's not a GREAT area to be honest. i'm not worried about my safety or anything it's just not yknow pristine
average of 3.2 stars online
one of the buildings burned down a couple of years ago and they're finishing construction on its replacement. my mom's boss owns the apartment complex and she ASSURES me that if i decided to move there, I'd get the new building.

apartment c:
550 a month for 2 bed 1 bath
not great apartments
25 minutes to work
8 minutes to downtown
awful part of town

There are 114 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

some questions - Mood:Good
Wednesday August 02 20179:13:46 PM |
will provide context to any questions asked if need be

1. do you like my new tattoo
2. how soon is too soon to go on a trip together
3. should i shave everything down there or just my balls
5. what do you think my color is afa eyeshadow/ makeup
6. what should i watch tonight hulu only

There are 36 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

my birthday thread is starting now - Mood:Good
Monday July 31 20176:14:37 PM |
tell me what a good boy i am
There are 25 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

theyre just trying to let some air in, but you hold your breath - Mood:Ecstatic
Sunday July 23 20178:48:09 AM |
so in an effort to really find my place in this world i've been doin the ol jim carrey. not sayin no to new things. going out and having fun and doing good things. ive been feeling really lost and misguided since the day i turned 18. but my 20th birthday is next week, and i feel like im gettin a lot closer. i've been going to parties and shows and getting pizza and i have 7 tattoos and going to see movies and hust trying to make friends and experience life. and its been amazing. i feel like i finally have a sense of purpose/direction. i finally have a vague sense of where i want to be in 3-5 years. anytime anybody asked me that before, i would give some random bullsh-t answer thay meant nothing. now i kind of know. and that feels really good. i feel like im finally at a good place in my life and im actually excited to wake up on most days
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what irks you? what grinds your gears? - Mood:Good
Friday July 07 201711:27:24 PM |

you know what really grinds my gears? when people call you out on not messaging them back. my job requires me to not look at my phone for sometimes up to 2 hours, and if i have back to back clients, my phone probably isnt coming out of my pocket unless i'm going "you know what would look great on you? here let me pull it up and show you". so dont message me this on tinder or at all really

im never going to message her back now because that annoys the f-cking hell out of me. what the hell am i supposed to even say?

also people who chew gum with their mouth open

There are 59 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I will give you a thing - Mood:Good
Monday June 05 20174:32:47 PM |
Im not sure what the thing is

It may be a compliment, maybe a song i think you would like, who knows. You can request it if you want but im not really trying to get super deep with it

Journal thing: a podcast i listen to used my email as a topic

There are 63 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Uhhh so - Mood:Good
Saturday June 03 20172:33:18 AM |
I have a decent amount of pain tolerance

I mean ive been hit by a car before so i mean a lot of things pale in comparison to that

But this is the worst pain ive ever experienced

My back is in so much f-cking pain right now that im literally throwing up just out of sheer pain. Ive been crying in the bathroom floor for like an hour now and i cant sit up except for when the vomit comes and even laying down hurts

I dont know what to do but holy f-cking poo im in so much pain

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Im about to be on a coffee date - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 30 201710:06:17 AM |
And im nervous

I havent been on a date with a new person in... a short while

I just get real bad anxiety with these kinds of things

The girl is cool though. Kind of a blind date, kind of not. Weve been texting back and forth for a few days. Apparently shes real hard to get a date with cause shes real sought after so its cool that she agreed to go with me. She is supposed to be here though but i dont think shes standing me up cause she did send an OMW text at like 9:50 so she's probably just late.

Idk man first dates are scary but this chai tea that I'm drinking is pretty dope.

There are 47 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Monthly tattoo update - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 23 20175:39:18 PM |
First onr that actually had meaning and it was on my ribs I wanted to die
There are 29 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I got noshowed 3 times today! Ask me anything! - Mood:Good
Sunday May 14 20171:01:38 PM |
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Uhhhhhhhhh - Mood:Good
Friday May 05 20172:47:24 AM |
Ive been doing real good

Making some good decent money

Made some good friends that i like and like me and like they're really the least toxic friends I've ever had. Like yeah they're crusty and do drugs but they're really nice to me which is kinda new and nice

My ex got a sh-tty haircut so hahahaha bitch that's what happens

Idk ive been doing good in all honesty. Like mentally and in life

I feel good about myself (though ive gained some weight recently that id like to lose) and everything has just been real good. Real good and nice

Also i keep daydreaming about a guitar and also I bought concert tickets

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Cant stand it...backhanded.....they wanna see us falling apart!!! - Mood:Good
Tuesday April 25 201711:17:46 PM |
Whats up?!?! I got stabbed for 5 hours today!! And. Ow i'm really sore!!!! My dude!!!

Ok hold on i'll post pictures so you guys can talk about how you dont like them

There are 35 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I b doing things by myself a lot now - Mood:Good
Wednesday April 05 20178:01:47 PM |
Im at a sushi bar and im pretty sure theres rum in the coke i ordered because it tastes really off. I'm currently alone. I went to see power rangers by myself yesterday.

I just am starting to enjoy my own company. I'm learning to be happy by myself. But i also feel really depressed a lot because im just like... alone. Not suicidal per se, just feeling down. I've been having mood swings and i think i should just chill out and i take a nap.

I'm ready for prom season though. I went to an updo class in nashville and had a lot of fun and learned a lot!

things are generally looking up and ive been working real hard to get through the bad parts


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well - Mood:Good
Wednesday March 22 201711:03:58 PM |
i just got kicked out of my house. my mom

for no reason

like.. genuinely no reason. things were going okay at home. i hadn't even talked to my mom in a few days. i just came home from a movie (belko experiment. it was fine. just okay) and my mom was like "i cut the data off your phone. it was the only thing i could do aside from delete the account entirely. next im gonna take your car and shut off the wifi. you need to save up for rent."

so i'm here for right now but i feel like within two weeks i'm OUT. and i have no idea why. i feel so blindsided

and i have 400 dollars exactly to my name and i cant like

afford to move out

like even if i had enough money to afford a downpayment, i can't afford to like.. live. i'm working for minimum wage 30 hours rn. i gotta get a second job i guess but that isn't gonna help me like.. within the next month

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Writing things down - Mood:Good
Tuesday March 14 20172:54:20 AM |
Im getting a tattoo in 12 hours

I have to pee

I went on a date today and it went absolutely nowhere I really wanna make out with someone

I finished season 2 of love its such a good show

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Saturday March 11 20174:50:36 PM |


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In measured hundredweight and penny pound. When the man comes around. - Mood:Good
Saturday March 04 20172:45:10 AM |
Logan was the best movie i have ever seen. Not an exaggeration. The best movie. I have ever seen.

Life is okay. Im not like... in love with life, but I'm hanging in there. I have a good friend, that i like genuinely as a friend. Theyre kinda my only friend right now but thats more than ive had for a hot minute

Im so tired i gotta be up at 5:30 in the AM and im pissed about it

But Logan was so f-cking worth it

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Happy journal - Mood:Good
Friday February 24 20175:15:01 PM |
I think im slowly coming to terms with the fact that my worth is not in someone elses hands and i do not need to be with someone to make me happy. Now i just need to make myself happy

But i also really need friends lol
Cause i have a grand total of 0

Start my new job tomorrow. Excitement! Living life!

There are 53 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

She told me "i think you have co-dependency issued" - Mood:Good
Wednesday February 22 201712:10:35 AM |
I told her i need to be addicted to something or i lose my f-cking mind

She doesnt understand
I dont even understand

But she doesnt know the half of things

I still want to kill myself sometimes

Something about it just feels right, romantic almost. Its more of a lingering thought than a drive to do it. I need to express mental pain in a more healthy way than "i want to die i want to be dead heres a bad habit i picked up"

Luckily its not drugs or alcohol or random sex with random people

Its being annoyingly clingy with someone who dpes not want me to be. But i dont know how to be normal

I just want to be normal
In general

I dont want to be like this but i always come back to it

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I quit my job - Mood:Good
Saturday February 11 201712:11:00 PM |
I got hired at the salon that wanted me

I start monday

I was like "yeah dont worry about it when i put in my two weeks she'll probably just tell me to clean out my station and go"


One i got terrible anxiety about it and almost had a panic attack
Second she was like "yeah work out a notice" so i'm like "dammit :/"

I textedy new boss and she's like "youre still coming monday though right?" Of course of course just not after that for 2 weeks

Its gonna be great though. Said she didnt want me on front desk. Just straight up doing hair. Gonna pay me minimum wage or commission (whichever is higher) for three months. After that its gonna bottom out and im just on commission

Im nervous but nows the time to do it if I'm gonna

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Valentines day! - Mood:Good
Friday February 10 20175:53:17 AM |
Love is in the air yt

And i suck at love

This girl and i have been going out a month. And i want to give her a good valentines day without being like.... a total sleezeball

So weve talked beforehand and set a budget on valentines day and like decided we're not gonna do anything grand or big

BUT the limit is 30 dollars. Which i was like "yeah sure thats fine" but now i'm lookin at prices of flower boquets and im like "uhhhhhh"

I was gonna have flowers delivered to her at work. But the cheapest i can find is 57. Which is like.....a little bit pricey in general. And like. Id do it if idve known ahead of time thats how much it cost i woulda saved up some. (Without the budget of course)

So now i'm thinking orher options so im like "maybe just buy a boquet and have a friend bring it in it's not like that makes a huge difference and she probably wouldnt even know..." except.

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