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We`re whalers on the moon, we carry a harpoon! - Mood:Good

Saturday September 27 20088:05:57 PM |

Watching the moon-episode of Futurama reminds me of the greatest documentary I've ever seen...The Corporation. Anyone seen it? You can see clips on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pin8fbdGV... Address all complaints to the Monsanto corporation! The film exposes a lot of troubling things about corporations, how they received so much power, and the corruption within them. Like how IBM worked closely with the Nazi government to provide them with punch card technology to keep track of their prisoners. And how Monsanto marketed bovine growth hormone to farmers regardless of the knowledge they had about human health risks. And subsequently, how Fox News would not air a story about that very thing for fear of losing Monsanto's advertising dollars. I haven't watched it in a while, but I might go rent it now that we're cableless again

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And now....we paint! - Mood:Good

Friday September 26 20081:38:56 PM |

Either tell me what to paint, or post a link to your own painting. Not much journalistic to report. Hungry, haven't showered yet, wasting time on YT. Now, PAINT. http://artpad.art.com/artpad/painter/

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Pop Quiz! - Mood:Good

Thursday September 25 200811:32:45 PM |

http://artpad.art.com/?k7s9qh1g04zo Look at my beautiful painting and answer one question. How many people can fit on that ride vehicle? It's not a trick question, just give it your best shot. In other news, Starbucks is laced with crack. I'm positive. Why else would I be addicted to $4 coffee? People get so antsy waiting for it too. Today some dude asked the barista to add more to his cup because there was a total of 2 cm that had not been filled. There is no explanation other than crack. I can't wait to live in the land of coffee and Asian comfort foods.

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YT VETS please help - Mood:Good

Thursday September 25 20087:48:11 PM |

Can someone PLEASE tell me how to post an image? The button doesn't work for me but I'm sure there's something I can type to make up for it.

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Boo to you! - Mood:Good

Thursday September 25 20083:59:50 PM |

Are you going to wear a costume for Halloween? Store-bought or home-made? I am going as a robot this year. The good ole simple homemade kind. Spray-painted silver box, dryer tubes for arms, and some kind of aluminum hat with some buttons on the box, and voila! And what's even cooler is when I'm at parties and clubs, I have a dance made just for me! I don't know what I'll be doing for Halloween yet, might be working, but the costume will be for a party I'm excited to go to. It gets bigger every year, so I'm hoping this year continues that trend. Also, Mary Louise Parker is hot. See profile for more information. If I were going to be bi, she'd be one of the ladies I could go for. Last, back to Halloween, has anyone ever been to a Halloween party at Disney? The fireworks are AMAZING to-die-for, ridiculously good.

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When you`re a rockstar you get to party hard champagne and caviar tricked out exotic cars - Mood:Good

Wednesday September 24 20082:45:23 PM |

I hate freecreditreport.com ads!!!!!!!!! The initial jingle was bad enough. You may remember FREE credit re-port DOT com! Followed by the pirate in the restaurant. Then there was the bike one, where he has to drive a bike because his credit can't get him a motorcycle. And now there's the one where he's rapping, and serving at a party, and bitching and moaning about not being one of the attendees. Not only are these commercials TERRIBLY catchy and annoying, they're stupid too. The point they're trying to make is that your life will be ruined if your identity gets stolen and that the only way to prevent this is to get your free credit report (offer applies with enrollment to triple advantage).

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I work with a real-life star! - Mood:Good

Saturday September 20 20087:24:39 PM |

Seriously. Anyone ever watch Dr. Quinn? Yeah, me neither. But, the guy who played Brian Cooper works with me. Once in a while someone will recognize him and have a conniption, but I think most people, like me, didn't watch the show, or didn't watch it intently enough to recognize him.

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I`m addicted to sudoku - Mood:Good

Thursday September 18 200810:18:48 PM |

I never used to like it. It confused me. And I didn't like the overwhelming popularity of it. And then I was stuck on a flight with a book I couldn't get into. And the in-flight magazine was there. And the crossword was too hard. So Sudoku it was. At the next airport, where I had a 3 hour layover, I ran to the bookstore and bought a book. I've been addicted ever since. I play every day on my breaks at work, and whenever I have spare time. Luckily I live right down the road from a Borders outlet that sells puzzle books for 1-4 dollars each. Anyone else taken in by the craze? I've got a fever, and the only cure is 9 by 9 squares of numbers!!!!!

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Dinosaurs and Michael Vick - Mood:Good

Tuesday July 31 200710:07:05 PM |

Neal Boortz today made the list of pros and cons for prosecuting Michael Vick to the full extent of the law. In favor of prosecution, he was cruel to animals, he let down millions of fans and teammates. In the argument against, "he's already been punished enough by his exclusion from the next NFL season and thus that year's salary he will lose", "they're pit bulls, it'd be different if they were golden retrievers or collies, but they're pit bulls". Your thoughts on his? Also, what killed the dinosaurs? Are you sure? I was watching a show at lunch that postulated ONE thing and then now I'm watching a show on comets, asteroids, and meteors, which outright states that it was an asteroid that did it. And...is string theory worth pursuing? It's a bunch of crazy sh*t, I'll say that. But does that mean it can't be true? I mean, this is a pretty crazy universe, right? Also, Obama will make the best democratic candidate. Discuss things with me. Conve

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You know how I know you`re gay? - Mood:Good

Sunday July 29 20072:18:20 PM |

You have a rainbow bumpersticker on your car that says "I love it when balls are in my face". I got a promotion at work (sort of). I consider it a promotion at any rate. Rather than teaching the 3 year old class at the daycare/preschool, I'm going to be moved to the 4 year old VPK class (voluntary pre-kindergarten) which requires either a CDA or full early childhood certification (which I'm one class away from). The school is going to pay for that class, so then I will be a fully certified early childhood educator (the 3 y/o class doesn't have the same certification requirements...obviously). Anyway, I'm pretty damn excited about this. I'll have two classes each day, an AM class and a PM class. In other news, my car is still a pos. I've decided not to fix it from the wreck. I'll buy another when funds are available. Which may be a while, because I'm moving into an apartment with my boyfriend soon. Which is moderately scary.

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Some days you`re the pigeon, and some days you`re the statue. - Mood:Good

Wednesday July 18 200711:28:09 PM |

Today was a statue kind of day. I can't believe it. I was at the movies, watching Harry Potter. As I left the theater to go into the bathroom, I was checking my missed calls. I set my phone down on the platform above the toilet paper. After I was all done, I went to pick up the phone and it slipped out of my hands, into the toilet, as it was flushing. I flushed my phone. All the numbers of my connections---gone. All the numbers of my semi-friend-acquaintances--gone. All the numbers of my old hook-ups--gone! Some won't be hard to get back. Some will be a little more difficult. And some will be impossible. (Some I won't care at all to lose). But damn. DAMN DAMN DAMN. I'd be a lot more pissed off if the movie hadn't been great. And then I got home and my boyfriend was in the middle of an old movie. So he paused it to tell me about how much his day sucked and then unpaused it when he was done without asking about mine.

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How many bullets... - Mood:Good

Sunday July 08 20071:08:24 PM |

Does it take to screw in a light bulb? (har har har) How many bullets should I have under each job listing on my resume? What's the average, I mean, and what's the max I should have? Right now I have an average of 3-4, with one listing that has 5 bullets. But I have a lot of impressive accomplishments I wanted to highlight at that job. Also, is it awful to have a two page resume only two years out of college?

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What hurts more than a bitch? - Mood:Bad

Sunday July 08 20071:12:21 AM |

Because whatever it is, that's what my finger hurts like. I was cutting an onion earlier, and, being lazy and not wanting to clean a new knife, I decided to use the hellasharp bread knife to do it. Somedhow my middle finger was wedged beneath the onion, or beside it, or something, but at any rate, next thing I know, the onion is half cut through, as is my middle finger. Luckily the finger is still in tact, but damn if it doesn't hurt like a bitch. Or, as the title suggested, more than one. Mother of f*ck. Don't play with knives.

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Most Best Movie of All Time Ever Eternally - Mood:Good

Saturday July 07 20073:52:21 PM |

What is it? I want to see a REALLY incredibly classically fantastic movie tonight. One I haven't seen before. So, if you had to pick the epitome of movie-making, what would it be?

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RIP Mr. Bryn Dogs - Mood:Good

Wednesday July 04 20071:35:46 PM |

My boyfriend's dog, Mr. Bryn was put to sleep yesterday. He was 11 years old, and had a tumor that was near rupturing which would have caused him to bleed to death internally. He also had a bad leg (all his life, actually) that kept him pretty stationary. He had been crying a lot lately and although I know he is in a better place and it was the best thing for him, that doesn't make it any easier, does it? Although he wasn't my dog, I still loved him like he was. It's been really hard on my boyfriend. Bryn was his best friend for a long time. Especially when his parents divorced. I want to do something for him, but what? Maybe a photo collage of Bryn? What would make him feel better? Or at least help him focus on the good times?

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$400 well spent - Mood:Good

Sunday July 01 20072:02:10 PM |

I went to the NALEO conference yesterday at Disney's Contemporary Convention Center. All the democratic candidates were there. I was there to support Obama, holding signs and such for the media. Edwards and Clinton also had big groups doing the same. It was really exciting to see Obama in real life. I didn't get to shake his hand but I did get to see him up close and personal. I also saw Edwards walking through. A cameraman trying to photograph him almost stepped on me because he was walking backwards not looking where he was going. But I'll say this, Edwards' hair is amazing. It's worth $400. It was all I could focus on as he walked by. Not a hair out of place. Flowing, waving, shmoozing. His hair may just win him this election. Obama's still sexier. But damn that is some good hair.

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Dear youthink, - Mood:Good

Friday June 29 20078:05:43 PM |

I love you. Will you marry me? Love, Ashley Dorkface

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Rationality? - Mood:Good

Friday June 29 20071:19:31 AM |

A quick journal before bed, sparked by an argument between my boyfriend and myself... What distinguishes human beings from animals? What do you think makes something rational? Are all human beings rational? Are any animals rational?

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One-uppers! - Mood:Good

Monday June 25 20079:05:45 PM |

I hate you. I really despise people who feel the need to one-up any and every thing you say. "I had the worst day. I got green poop all over my hand while checking a kid's diaper, I was bending down to help another kid pull his pants on and as I stood up I rammed my back into the serrated edge of the toilet paper dispenser, AND I left my windows down during the torrential downpour, so now my car smells like soot and poo." "Oh yeah? That's nothing. I got ORANGE poop on my hands, sprained my torso, and got four speeding tickets". STOP TRYING TO ONE UP ME! Let me have my glory. Or pity. Whatever it is I want, let me have it. You can have your time later you egocentric prick. /endrant That is all.

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Oh crap, it`s a miracle. - Mood:Cautious

Sunday June 24 200710:54:09 PM |

I love Futurama. I think it's the best show on television. I went to some parties this weekend. I freaked out a little bit yesterday because this girl was totally being a slutwad and I thought she was trying to flirt with my man. She'd constantly find an excuse to touch him or show her panties in front of him. Sitting on a stool getting a "tattoo" with a sharpie from another partygoer. And one of the other guys there, well, I don't know. I got concerned that he didn't like me and that the things he was saying was to mock me. But today I went to party part dos with the same people and decided to not worry about any of it, and it was much smoother. Slutwad was no longer a slutwad and mockboy no longer mocked. Maybe it was all in my head. So many things are. At any rate, how was everyone's weekend? Do you have any problems in your life? (I'd like to feel better about mine)

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Terrible two`s? I think not. - Mood:Good

Saturday June 23 20072:18:39 PM |

I don't understand why the 2's got such a bad rep. 2 year olds are a piece of cake when you get to know some 3 year olds. Seriously, I think kids generally are worse at 3 than at 2. Maybe it's the new generation. We're slowing down our aging process so today's 3 year old is yesterday's 2 year old. Or, maybe the whole terrible two's concept was invented by a parent whose child had not yet reached 3.

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Homocil, because it`s your problem, not theirs. - Mood:Good

Monday June 18 200710:51:53 PM |

I recently watched the best of SNL commercial parodies. And that's definitely up there. For those unfamiliar, it's a prescription drug advertised for parents of homosexual children who are having a hard time dealing with it. I'm so embarrassed. My boyfriend just came in and saw the search history of what I was looking at and I'm ashamed of what it was. I've recently discovered I don't do well in groups of 4 or more unless it's a party (in which case I'm likely talking to a group of 4 or less). I just can't get a word in edgewise. I do better with strangers than people I know. It seems like I'll try to start talking and so will someone else, so I'm polite and stop and let them continue. Then the conversation veers somewhere else and I can't be like, "so back to 3 minutes ago...blahblahblah" It was especially a problem last night at dinner with my boyfriend, his mom, his sister, and his sister's roommate. And my boss has been bitchy lately. Got problems? Ta

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My life is just like Will Ferrell`s - Mood:Good

Monday June 11 20078:39:41 PM |

In that movie where someone is narrating his life. Except in my life nobody's narrating, there's just some sound effects dude. Because I swear today coming in the house there was a "BEEP" sound from a human voice right as I opened the door. I mean, it could have been a creak, but, how often do creaks sound like a person saying "Beep"? Not too often. I woke up crazy early today. An hour before my alarm was set to go off. I cooked a lovely breakfast and got my room and car clean before work. That extra hour makes a huge difference. I might intentionally try to wake up earlier the rest of this week and see how it goes. But I've had a lot of late nights lately, so we'll see how it goes.

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Someday we`ll find it, the rainbow connection...the lovers, the dreamers and me... - Mood:Good

Sunday June 10 20071:32:34 PM |

I love that song. And I love rainbows. I saw my first FULL-fledged two-ended rainbow ever yesterday and it was huge and amazing. It looked like it was covering the entire city, it was so huge. I took a lot of pictures, of which only 4 came out well. But it's a good thing I did, because only three minutes later I went back outside and it was gone. I don't believe the whole "rainbow is God's promise never to flood the earth" again thing, but it sure does fill me with peace, hope, joy, and all the other warm and fuzzy feelings when I see one. I've been very social lately. I went out last night with a friend to downtown and to a party. I got home at 4. The best upside to staying out past 3 AM is that McDonald's switches to breakfast at 3. Hurrah.

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My grandmother drives me crazy sometimes - Mood:Good

Thursday June 07 20079:52:08 PM |

And by sometimes I mean all of the time. Does this make me a terrible person? I love her and I think she's a wonderful woman but she just makes me want to pull my hair out if I talk to her for more than five minutes. Which I did, just now, and now I'm bald. And for goodness sake, I stepped on a bazillion scales in Wal-Mart that said I had lost weight (from 10-20 lbs!) and I stepped on my home scale and it said NEGATORY.

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