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Female, 32 years old
ny, Western US

  Offline - Last On: 3hrs ago

18 Buddies
28 Subscribers
29,596 Profile Views
48,801 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
Link to this profile:

i won`t have to anymore jon groff
myspace.com/forwardthemusical


Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Poetry / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (32 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Married
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Other
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: free. i like free food.
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
 
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
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How was my school`s All Night Party? fun. i danced. i chatted..... i gave some guy a lapdance - Mood:Good
Saturday May 31 200310:23:49 AM |
first hour was very blah, cuz i was still all shy and looking for people. then i found a group of girls/guys that i knewand they were dancing so i joined them. alllll night long :P thats all we did from 12-4am. everyone was givin the guys lapdances. so i did too i don't think i've guys more happy than in those chairs..

i am so dead. got home at 4:15. fell into bed. slept til 1 and i am dead. and i have dance clas in.. 5 minutes ago

was fun though and thats amazing for me. i enevr have fun at stuff like that. but dancing, thats my weakness

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Does anyone know NYC realy well? like map wise? well not REALLY well, just general knownledge? - Mood:Good
Friday May 30 200311:13:18 AM |
:( help. if i wanna live near all the broadway shows but not TOO close cuz thats really expensive, where should i live? i'm thinkin some kind of run down apartment thing would be nice. but not too far away from all my shows! and what area is that called? i have really got to brush up on my NYC...
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i have never been so indifferently angry. and its scaring me. and they caused it. - Mood:Good
Friday May 30 20038:47:23 AM |
this sucks. i don't give a poo anymore. i used to be passionate. whatever i felt i embraced. now i am so unmotived its just not even funny. they did that. they made lines for me to stay in and i don't gve a poo so much i just stay in one spot. apathy will be the death of me.
they say i'm being 'good'. i say i'm being boring and unhuman and unME. how do u people do it? stay in societys rules without going crazy or jumping off a bridge? how do u get around them. i would normally devise a plan. but i just don't care. it seems like too much work. what used to be fun now seems like work. how on earth could they do that to me? they tok all the things that are phsycial that cause me joy now they are taking away my own emotional way to cause me joy? thats just wrong. people+people don't mix. we just don't mix well. there is more conflict and damage when 2 people get togtehert than postive things.
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is there a way to search for people by their favos? - Mood:Confused
Thursday May 29 20033:02:16 PM |
?
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humans= loathing - Mood:Good
Wednesday May 28 20037:22:09 PM |
people are evil. no one cares about anyone else without some kind of reward, some ulterior motive, whether it be to be loved back or for other evil reasons. usually other evil reaons. personal gain. no one genuinely gives a frick about anyone else. they just don't. i don't wanna be human. and they are forcing me to be what i am not. they are forcing me to be 'normal' and give up everything i love just so i can fit into that mold. well frick you. there are always fricking rules. then when there are no rules and i make my own they automatically deem them wrong and give me different ones that sufficate me and don't fit with me at all. i hate people.

i want a break from bein human for while. a break from expectations, from the everyday life. hopefully this campin trip will do that. IF THEY FREAKING LET ME GO. i hate people. i hate the power everyone seems to have over me when i am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. i can do it better than they can, cuz honestly they suck at it

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*note to self: when lighting lighters move your finger AWAY from the flame - Mood:Good
Wednesday May 28 20033:13:33 PM |
i am going to die in the mountain all because i can't prperly light a lighter. and speaking of the camping trip THEY STILL WON'T FREAKIN TELL ME IF I CAN GO! its NEXT WEEKEND! i ahve to get poo you know i don't wanna spoend 100$ on stuff then not need it, OR scramble around last minute tryin to find everythign and risk forgettin stuff. bastards.

those fricking bastards took away my afterschool! they won't let me stay after, at all. how fricking unfair, why?? what is the point of that? they just like shoving around their power whereever they can. bastards.
whether or not i can go on the trip depends on my 'behavior this week' so i am being a little angel. but they are making it VERY difficult by taking away everything that brings me joy and fricking with me. Bastards.

everyone keeps telling me 'you need to open up to people, you need to form relationships and get close to people.. but oh no no no no, not me" wtf? bastards.

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what the hell? (my daily rant) - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 27 20034:23:16 PM |
gram gave me 10$ to go get shampoo. i come back and she asks for the chnage and i said i spent it on gel pens but i can pay her back if she'll let me get to my purse. she says that alright.. then says 'i buy you shampoo now i have to buy you gel pens? i just bought you pads!" umm.. yea. would u rather me bleed all over the floor? what the hell? she wants me to buy my own pads? heLLO i don't get THAT much allowance, and i offered to pay for the damn gel pens, actually i didn't just offer, i was expecting to, duh, why should she buy my gel pens. shampoo and pads however are a different matter.

rant over :)

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Did Shawn Colvin ever make a video to Sunny Came Home? - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 27 200310:46:04 AM |
hm. i think i'm gonna go on a picture hunt for me fav people: alanis, sarah mclachlan, m,elissa etheridge, matt caplan, josh kobak, natalie portman, shawn colvin, elen degneres, rascal flatts, adam pascal.... weehoo

i have SO much stuff to do and here i am on YT...

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I`M GOING BACK TO SCHOOOOOOL!!!!! - Mood:Confident
Tuesday May 27 200310:32:05 AM |
That is all.
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Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet, Wet-wet-wet-red-heat, Please don`t stop please please don`t stop stop stop stop don`t please please, Harder, Faster, Wetter, Fluid no fluid no contact yes no contact, Fire fire burn-burn yes, No latex rubber fire latex rubber - Mood:Good
Monday May 26 20038:34:26 PM |
I am in a gratuitous hell that burns me pleasurefully. i stare blindly into that which has power over me to control my fate of present and future. One side of me sits in midnatic darkness taunting the brightly lit side of its secrecy and seclusion. I grind more loose dirt into my skin's pores then wash it clean again. An obstreperous anxious fit comes over me and i toss and turn though not sleeping. Shaking in small uniform trembles to lessen involunteery resonses and gain back control, a hand runs soothing over my body, barely touching so much it feels like it has a numbing effect. i sink slowly into the sour indifference of awkward downtrodden calmed rage and offer condolences to myself for the happy contentness i lost.

Yes, i know midnatic isn't a word.

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Name me a deathly slow song - Mood:Good
Sunday May 25 200311:35:31 PM |
like one you can sink into and like fall asleep to. PAINFULLY slow :)
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I know too many people unhappy in a life from which they`d love to flee - Mood:Good
Sunday May 25 200311:37:44 AM |
sunday. moms birthday. i got her crappy gifts mostly cuz i couldn't find anything else. i should do homework. but would you really wanna read the rest of Hamlet then wirte a paper on it all at once? it seems like too much. so i shall continue to ignore it.
i'm still peeling. is it reallty bad for it to peel?
if i tell people what i want them they can knowningly withhold it from me.
i want people to dig into me, actually want to find out stuff not just becuase they should or have to.

i should eat breakfast but thanks to the anorexia book i was just reading and these damn cramps i'm not very hungry.

i'll make something thats fragrent. maybe that'll help. hm.. bacon and eggs and ham..

oops. almost 3. i slept the day away. oh well, not like i'd be doing anything anyways.

hey i'm actually under the character limit today. :)

There are 9 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

My shopping trip in pictures - Mood:Good
Saturday May 24 20038:55:16 PM |
Purse

wallet

book ive wanted to buy for awhile

nother book

and then i also bought 6 cookies but i ate them already o:)

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Who wants to play a game? huh? huh? YOUUU? yea? really? no? :( please? come on you know you want to - Mood:Good
Saturday May 24 20034:34:37 PM |
ok so i was thinking:

i'll recite a few lines from a song and first person to guess artist and song name right gets a point then i'll recite diff song.

or whoever gets it right could recite but i really wanna :(

what ya think? anyone actually wanna play?

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Have you ever seen the movie Music From Another Room? if yes, HELP ME! - Mood:Good
Saturday May 24 20034:14:45 PM |
there is a song in it.. that i don't know what it is.. its like sung by a girll.. and kinda slow.. what songs do u know from that movie?
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i am going to kill the girl who slept over - Mood:Good
Saturday May 24 200312:39:42 PM |
my friend. i am ahorrible friend. cuz i hate them. if i suddenyl break off its cuz i have to go. UAGH she is driving me NUTS! she doesn't want to do anything and i DO i can't just sit and watch 4 movies in a row especially during the afternoon! i have to get out and shes all" welll, nahh " and sluggish and then i get yelled at when i go take a phone call when we aren't doing anything anyway, just watching tv like we have been for 3 frickin hours. i hate the 'morning fater' of sleepovers. yesrday night was fun. but i want them GONe when i get up UAGH -(to be contineued)
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I can`t feel my chest - Mood:Horny
Friday May 23 20034:21:45 PM |
damn sunburn, if i put my hand on my chest i can't feel it, just the pressure. i'm peeling on my shoulders too :O ewwwww i'd rather not be able to peel of long sheet of skin if i can help it. and that aloe vera poo is making my chest break out ayie, remind me not to go out without sunblock again

my friend is coming over to sleep :):(
movie night. i dunno what were gonna watch yet. or when shes going home. sometime tomorrow. i just like to know when what where how which kinda contradicts my affinity towards the spontanious

i'm in a writing mood.. maybe i'll do that tonight..
i have homework :(

its nice to be able to write in my own journal again

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I can see clearly now the rain is gone, i can see all obstacles in ym way - Mood:Good
Friday May 23 20033:27:13 PM |
who sings that? and whats the name of it? :( help
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I am an idiot. - Mood:Good
Thursday May 22 20036:07:00 PM |
I.. am an idiot. just to let you know.

thank you putt

i am an idiot...

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Don`t bitch at me if you come in here and read this then say you had no warning.. WARNING WARNING WARNING read at your own risk. - Mood:Indifferent
Wednesday May 14 200312:41:49 PM |
i want to scream it from the rooftops. not really, infact i'd prefer not one person know. but do you know whats it like to go through this poo every single damn time someone else finds out?? thats twicein freakin 3 months! and i wasn't stupid this time. i didn't tell. she suspected anyways she said after.

but ms adams wins. in allll the speeches and 'talkings to' i've gotten after people find out ms adams win s for the best one. she said all the right things to keep herself safe and me some comfort, ms goff should get some tips from her. she sucked. she said everything i wanted to hear which you do NOT do. because you don't follow through.

anyways, i am getting SO SICK of doing this over and over and over again when new people find out. so i wanna shout it from the rooftops;

I'M A CUTTER

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I look all business-like! - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 13 20038:15:02 PM |
i have a presnetation to do tomorrow and i am NERVOUS AS HELL but look good



i have a skirt and panty hose on. do you know how much i hate skirts and pantyhose??

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i keep injuring myself. - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 13 20032:52:05 PM |
first the fence incident (which i still think is hilarious) then i go to carry out my pster and get a paper cut across my chin then i go to adjust my glasses and slice my nose with my fingernail. i walked to the store today and got a mini blister, i bit my tongue while eating a choclate bar, and my lip starting bleeding. all today, except the fence. that was yesteday :P should i live in a bubble?
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i KNEW bringing a swiss army knife to school was a good idea - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 13 200312:11:03 PM |
i have no plastic knuife or anything for that matter to spread my cream cheese on my bagelthen AH HA i rmeberr i have a swiss army knife in my purse. yummy

i am seriosuly freaking out about a presnetation i have to do totmorrow. i am. freaking. freakin freaking freakingggggggg. i won't be surprised if i go running out of the room. haha or don't go to class at all. hm. then i would fail. ok, scratch plan two. but really.. i'm not sure i'm gonna live through this. i may have to space myself out to do this thing. i'm gonna die. AND THERE IS A VIDEO CAMERA. i am scared to death of video cameras. SCARED TO DEATH. they are TRYING to kill me. i swear.

the counter doesn't work on school computers?

starving myslef its going well. i like food too much god dang it i can never be anorexic or bulimic. or, er, yay? o:)

this non-counter thing is freakin me out
TO BE CONTINUED

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ed-ju-kate me - Mood:Good
Monday May 12 20033:40:41 PM |
whats a dirty bomb?
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i feel the need to vent about my ice cream.. MY ice cream... - Mood:Good
Monday May 12 20033:30:03 PM |
i have a pint of ben and jerrys in there. now i can't eat all that and am very very willing to share. but my grand stuck it in the freakin microwave! MY ice cream! now its all freezer burned and melted and refrozn ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

if you wanna eat it, fine, go for it, but do NOT microwave it so that when i want some its frick-ass nasty

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