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Female, 30 years old
ny, Eastern US

  Offline - Last On: 35days 8 hours ago

18 Buddies
27 Subscribers
27,002 Profile Views
47,839 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
Link to this profile:

i won`t have to anymore jon groff

Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Poetry / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (30 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Dating
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Buddhist
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: free. i like free food. i`m health nut though
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
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Poll: Inappropriate or not? - Mood:Good
Friday October 18 20132:20:45 AM |
So... I'm painting pumpkins to give to peoples. I painted a Peanuts Halloween one for the brain injury place I am volunteering at.

I was thinking about painting one for the counseling center on campus, I am quite well known around there, and thought i'd stay with the peanuts theme and paint this:

I dunno. On one hand i think its cute and fitting.
On the other, my major makes me WICKED aware of PCness and such.


(also coming to this thread are pictures, of finished painted pumpkin and.. whatever else i wanna post)
(To make this journaly, I have tomorrow FREEEEEE. WOOO. I haven't had a completely free day in my apt in a really really long time.)

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I was invited to a party.. but then my invitation disappeared. - Mood:Good
Wednesday October 16 20134:47:47 AM |

Oh well.

i would have just stood awkwardly at the punch bowl anyway.

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I am not in Australia! This should not happen! - Mood:Good
Monday October 14 201311:36:54 PM |


or so i thought

Just hanging out in my bathroom. I was PEEING, in the MIDDLE of peeing and saw it across from me. I thought it was a Halloween decoration at first. I couldn't do my normal screech and run because i was IN THE MIDDLE OF PEEING.

That one was unpleasant.
But it mostly makes me worried that THERE ARE MORE.

Because that is like the 8th f*cking one i've found in my apt in 2 years- just that i've FOUND.

Hold me.

(picture coming)
(fair warning, its not that big, its just big to me because WE DON'T HAVE SH*T LIKE THIS. We have lima bean sized translucent f*ckers that aren't the STUFF OF NIGHTMARES)

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Its my birthday I can happy dance to Doctor Who gifts if i want to, happy dance if i want to, happy dance if i want to - Mood:Good
Sunday October 13 20137:36:48 PM |

Day 3 of birthday weekend: family party.

Got 3 lbs of italian cookies, lemon ice, lemon meringue pie. All my favorites.
Got $6 meals from wegmans for dinner. Which is like.. you pick a entree, and 2 sides, for $6, everyone got their own and we sampled each others


They know me so well
My mom got me a DW beanie hat (pic coming eventually)
My sister got me a Dalek shirt and a TARDIS dress She explained to me how difficult was to try to buy DW stuff when you know nothing of DW
I opened the Dalek shirt and started saying "EXTERMINATE" and got a lot of blank looks. Sigh.
I put the hat on, swirled my head and "doo doo doooooooooooo do"-ed and got more blank looks. And some head shaking.
Sigh again.
Ah well.

My sister and bf are chatting about mental health job stuff, and graduate school stuff, so i am YTing


Continued. Maybe.

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Its that time of year again. - Mood:Good
Friday October 11 20131:12:18 AM |
I'm glad my birthday and Halloween are in October, or I would hate October.
Its getting cold, bleck. mid semester, bleh. Snow soon, bleck.

Annual peanuts pumpkin painting. Very beginning stages. Dry erase marker first, then erased little by little and done again in pen. Then painted over with black outline paint. Then colored in. Then black outlined again.

I have 3 pumpkins.
I was going to do up like 6-7 pumpkins to give to places (Day center for TBI i am volunteering at, main offices around campus, etc) but damn i forgot how time consuming they are when you aren't a very good artist. I'm assuming if i were a better artist I could forgo the dry erase step, or even the dry erase and pen steps.

The dry erase always looks so much better than the pen also.

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So, I can`t tell if i`m PMSing or if EVERYONE IS JUST BEING AN ANNOYING ASSTARD TODAY - Mood:Good
Wednesday October 09 20135:18:39 PM |
F*cking c*nt of a library cafe worker today, who i have irritating run ins with every wednesday,
Talking to her co-worker without knowing I was still there. "Without cheese girl? Ugh. It comes PRE-MADE, this isn't drating subway."

I am SO SORRY my lactose intolerance inconveniences you and forces you to actually do work (of removing a slice of cheese from a premade sandwich before putting it in the grill since i can't remove it once its melted onto the panini) instead of just staring bitchily at people and f*cking up their orders. Jesus Christ. Why does she have a job. Its just not that hard of a job sweetie. Yet she seems to f*ck it up every time and have an irrational hatred of me.

People behind me in the computer lab talking in FULL ON VOICES about how many muscles are in her vagina. SERIOUSLY?! This is the ONLY lab w/o a class in it, STFU and let people work.



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I scream in pain every time I move so I figured I`ll get on YT - Mood:Good
Tuesday October 08 20133:49:35 AM |
howdy. I did something to my side. I'm not entirely sure what. I went to get on my bike this morning and had giant rain pants on, I hiked a leg over, got the crotch caught and just...felt immense pain in my side.

I rode for about 2 minutes and then had to stop and crouch down next to my bike as to not pass out, then had to do that every so often on my way to my volunteer work. Which made me late which meant I didn't get anything done and looked flighty and irresponsible, so that sucks.

I went to class which wasn't too bad ish. Then rode home. Moving is unpleasant, but when my body is at a less than 90 degree angle its better. However I sneezed and thought I was dying. Coughing is bad as well. It feels like my insides are going to explode out of my side.

I'm assuming it's just a pulled muscle of some sort. sitting out of gymnastics tmrw since just shifting in bed makes me whimper.

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I am pup sitting. so I have many a picture - Mood:Good
Saturday October 05 201310:58:08 PM |

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Questions I Wonder About And Will Ask Because I am Bored. - Mood:Good
Thursday October 03 20131:05:21 AM |

I realized I have silly questions about peoples practices.

So I shall ask.

I am a curious cake.

1. Do people wear wedding rings in the shower? To bed? When is it taken off and not?

2. Did you and your now spouse (you have to be married for this one) both have student debt when you got married? If yes, did being married make your payments higher? (Everyone) If you were in this situation and payments were made higher is it more beneficial (monetarily, emotionally) to not get married?

3. What wrist do you wear your watch on?

4. If the burner tray thingys under the coils on a stove are rusted and disgusting, and you live in an apt, do you go buy new ones yourself or call into maintenance?

Okay thats all I got.

What do you wanna know?

Side note, I'm all nostalgic about boob and ass threads from back in the day since i perused my folders of pics from them earlier today.

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I have mac and cheese/ me and boy disagree/ my counselor has been deceivig me.. ish/ I`d studying skin in A&P and its f*cking disgusting - Mood:Good
Wednesday October 02 201312:11:52 AM |
So. I have either grown up, or found the love of my life or hopefully both. Because we are mid argument. And i feel no need to rehash in painstaking detail on YT. Woo.

My counselor told me today that when I switched to him 4-5 months ago from my regular counselor who up and disappeared, he and the other counselors got together and discussed it and decided that he should be an abrasive ass, and that it would help me.

What it did was make me feel very alone, misunderstood, and crazy.
It did force me to assert myself. But ffs there has to be a better way to go about that since i almost up and quit counseling like 3 times and felt like a terrible person, as well as being unsupported and hated in the office out of no where.

"wow. That could have gone very badly"
"i suppose. but it didn't."

Its pumpkin painting season

I put away laundry and now i feel dizzy

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I am pup sitting again next weekend! Two very small pups. (pics) - Mood:Good
Sunday September 29 20139:16:50 PM |
Well, small to me, i'm used to labradors.

One is rather bitchy And blind. So thats gonna be fun.
The other is tiny and afraid of people.

I am a nice sister though. Thus will watch them for a night.
I'm hoping it ends in baked goods.

Which reminds me, their microwave and stove/ oven is broken I'm gonna starve
I wonder how their pups do with delivery guys.


That i grew from seeds.
They are a bit sad looking.
My babies. My tomato babies.

I have a 'interview' of sorts tomorrow, to volunteer at a TBI place for about 12 hours for a class.
I'm nervous.
I don't like people.
Well no, I'm not fond of interacting with people. It scares me. I hope she pairs me with someone I mesh well with

I went grocery shopping today. I need to start clipping coupons again.

Pictures coming in next post(s).

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Anyone wanna tutor me in math? - Mood:Good
Thursday September 26 20133:12:49 PM |
This stuff just.. is cruel.

Molarity. It makes my head explode. I make it a point to never ever do math. It just diesnt compute in my head.


X÷58÷.05= .2

I should know how to find x. I don't. Help.

That's the easy part of this poo and my brain goes nooooo. God help me.

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I love learned outdated information. - Mood:Good
Wednesday September 25 20137:21:53 PM |
F*cking textbooks. This textbook is 2008, but spewing info from 1998 that HAS to be outdated. Its also spewing sh*t that I can't back up ANYWHERE ELSE. For it being THE health service model of the world yada yada, google seems to have never heard of it, nor the author of whatever obscure article you are quoting.


Its Wednesday. I am therefore in the library killing time and doing schoolwork. My f*cking professor sucks so f*cking much.

I also have lost all desire to be a RT, which sucks since thats what I am in school for.


Also, the cafe worker is a giant bitch. Girl always undercooks my sandwich, sighs and looks at me when I'm nuts when i ask for no cheese, doesn't give me any pickles, MANGLES my sandwich when cutting it and didn't offer me any f*cking salad dressing.
Plus her attitude is awful.
I walk in every other day hoping shes not working.

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I miss Random Threads, but don`t think it would take off again for some reason... - Mood:Good
Monday September 23 20132:03:04 AM |
I used to like random threads. My brain just works like that. Random sh*t pops in my head that i wanna share but is no where near worth sharing. Twas nice to have a place for it. And every once in awhile, one person's random thought sparkled conversation for a bit.

Rhetorical questions.

Statements you would tell someone but don't really warrant telling anyone because.. someone would just look at you, maybe nod, and say "Okay.."

For example.

I have found i enjoy Rhod Gilbert. I started watching Work Experience, which is just awesome, gross, heartwarming, and funny. Which led me to hi stand up, which I am also enjoying.



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The amount of `facts` about the US that are on QI and are half-right, outdated or just.. rubbish, make me wary of the other `facts` on that show. - Mood:Good
Saturday September 21 20139:27:28 PM |
I am by myself at my bfs place. Well. His mom is out there. I am barricaded in his room because I don't do socialness.

In the next few hours i should get schoolwork done. A good bunch.
I will probably watch tv shows and eat things instead.

Bf is such a baby when we play monopoly I don't think a 7 year old would whine as much.

My tomatoes are starting to get red! Just in time for frost.


I think i'd make a good bird.


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I have a wine cooler, a season of tv to catch up on, and an irrational mind. - Mood:Good
Thursday September 19 201310:16:05 PM |
I'm hungry.

Mostly just want to escape my mind and body.

Rave anyone?

I have nothing new to say really.

I am angry at myself for all kinds of reasons.

I'm slightly hot, due to Otis in my lap.

I wonder what kind of drunk I am.
I am probably a terrrible post drunk person though.



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Theres not enough sex and spice in my sister`s eyes. - Mood:Good
Wednesday September 18 20136:48:05 PM |
My sister got pin up pictures done for some.. company or.. such. Someone hired her, basically, to have them done to be a model for their whatnot.

She posted one on FB. She looks awesome. Something missing from here expression though. Not enough sex kitten or sparkle or something.

Anywho, I scrolled down my feed and saw it and thought nothing of it. When i passed it again and saw the comments i was like, holy sh*t, thats my sister.

I'd post, but she wouldn't approve

It is exhausting being crazy YT. Exhausting.

Also, I told my counselor I wished i had the courage to kill myself and didn't get locked away Either he dropped the ball or doesn't find me a threat to myself.
Though i always get confused about what being a threat to myself entails, since I am wicked self destructive, mostly physically.

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I am out of shows to watch *flails* This can`t be - Mood:Good
Tuesday September 17 201310:53:03 PM |
I am caught up on all summer shows, and they've all ended. My fall shows haven't started yet (that i am aware of). I can't figure out what to watch. i tend to go into OMG OMG OMG running around the house in a panic when I don't have anything to put on as background/ occupy my mind.

I'm good with movies too.
But can't think of what to watch.

I want food. But do not want to assemble said food. And really want nachos now. (thanks griff )

I'm freezing Its the unfortunate time of year thats its freaking chilly outside, but not chilly enough for the heat to be turned on. Thus, I am freeing my ass off. Toes really, at the moment.

F*ck that. When I move somewhere that i can actually control the heat that sh*ts going on once it hits 50-55 at night.

I am wicked temperature sensitive. I am comfy at 72. Can feel it at 70. Anything below 70 and I'm a bit cold. Its 64/65 in my apt.

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A happy journal. - Mood:Good
Monday September 16 201311:27:45 PM |
i figured I'm due for one.

Lets see
happy things


I want Rufus
This is Rufus

Though i have no donuts so thats not happy. But donuts in general is happy.

I want a snack.
Any suggestions?

I can't decide if i should make chicken cuz i'm hungry, or go for something lighter cuz its late.

Hi yall.
Must less crazy today.
So thats nice.

I've run out of shows to watch

Whats new?

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Sunday is gloomy - Mood:Good
Sunday September 15 20139:30:52 PM |
I'm not overly gloomy but still slightly crazy so i thought I've give proper title warning.

You know whats fun? Having a 'i have sucidial ideation thoughts' conversation with your bf.
I scared the ever lovin bejesus out of him.
I will never find a guy who will stay and i won't blame them.

I have chicken which is is nice.

I have alcohol which is nicer.
Not very strong though which is unpleasant.

Thought I'd say hey.


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Jesus I hate doing this. YT is not known for its kindness. - Mood:Good
Saturday September 14 201312:13:35 AM |
Its rather like throwing a wounded gazelle in a pack of hungry lions.

But I am f*cking desperate.

I am losing my f*cking mind.
I, like an idiot, went off my meds. I don't know why.
And now it feels like the longest night ever.
My goal is to make it morning, still alive, not in jail, not in a psych ward, not bleeding.
Morning is so, so far away.

I am typing from my closet. Why? I don't know. It feels a smidgette better than my couch and I am hungrily looking for smidgettes to grasp onto.

Why am I telling you this YT? What can you do?
I don't f*cking know.
Its keeping my fingers and mind busy for 5 minutes.

It is taking a ridiculous amount of will power to not take razors to my shaking wrists. Thats just.. not normal.
I do hope thats a cold turkey med side effect and doesn't stick around.
Its a bit new for me. Arms, not new. Wrists? Yes.

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Anyone out there? - Mood:Good
Friday September 13 20133:10:10 PM |
I'm stepping off the deep end a little.

Anyone wanna chat? About anything?
Name a topic.
I don't care.

Just keep me out of my head for about 45 minutes to an hour.

My faerie faded, on my leg. I liked her. Rose is still there.

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Butterflies Are Free is a great movie. - Mood:Good
Thursday September 12 20137:33:09 PM |
That is all.


And Hi.

I have a rose on my arm.

Thats all.

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I feel like I`m losing my mind YT. - Mood:Good
Wednesday September 11 20136:18:55 PM |
Its unpleasant

It doesn't help that my counselor is a f*ckwit.
F*cking depressive stupors and lack of appetite and not being able to focus

But instead of a rambly crazy journal, I shall think of happy things. Or.. just things.

Like my birthday. I'm all kinds of excited.

I am doing a project on Bipolar disorder and as a (odd, zig zagged) result, am reading Russell Brand's book, My Booky Wook. Its quite interesting. To me anyway.
I also picked up Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking and Patty Duke's book, that i can't recall the name of. I need 4 sources, one of which being an autobiography.
Russel's book won't do, its not really bipolar-y, but I've been meaning to read it anyway.

Anyone on here Bipolar that I can interview?

Also watching Stephen Fry's documentary (again).

Eating fruit.

My hands are shaking.

Whether its anxiety or cold, you got me.

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I am faced with the glorious task of buying myelf a bithday present - Mood:Good
Monday September 09 201310:16:30 PM |

So. I have like $50 to spend on for whatever I want, to be shipped to my Gram to wrap and give to me for my birthday


Shopping makes me happy if you couldn't tell.

What do I want???

I have specifics of what this needs to be.
It can't be anything i "need", or has to be awesomed in some way if it is (example, last years Tardis lamp. I needed a lamp. The tardis-ness of it made it present-y).
It has to be one or two things. Gram tends not to like when i hit up clearance racks and get like 20 things for $50.


What do I want YT??

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