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Female, 28 years old
ny, Eastern US

  Offline - Last On: 3hrs ago

18 Buddies
26 Subscribers
21,390 Profile Views
47,435 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
Link to this profile:

i won`t have to anymore jon groff

Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Poetry / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (28 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Dating
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Buddhist
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: free. i like free food. i`m health nut though
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

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Its been a very long, very unpleasant 48 hours. - Mood:Good
Friday June 14 20131:47:20 AM |
I don't even know where to start.

So, I was awake for 20 hours, trying to right my sleep schedule. But then my chest started doing this weird spasmy thing that was freaking me out, so I called the health center to see what they thought and they wouldn't tell me anything other than "come in now".

So i dragged my ass to campus. They set me up with an appt with a cardiologist then lead me to a little room. The nurse started taking out needles and crap and I was like oh HELL no. I pass out on a GOOD day, you are not blood drawing me when i have been awake 24 hours and was lightheaded anyway. So I said i'd come back tomorrow morning for it. Having no intention of doing so, I just wanted to get the f*ck out of there I am very scared of needles, for very good reason. I pass out EVERY DAMN TIME. People don't understand this, thats its a physical response, not anxiety.


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Dress me YT, for a party I`m going to tomorrow. - Mood:Good
Saturday June 08 201312:52:06 AM |
Its my great Uncles 90th birthday party. its gonna be like.. 60-70 degrees, and probably rain.

stay tuned for dresses, i have to post from my phone

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Give me a suggestion and i`ll take a picture of it. - Mood:Good
Friday June 07 20131:55:47 AM |
And post it, as long as it doesn't break rules, or its impossible to do, or i just don't want to But i feel pretty open for stuff.

But i'm bored. And have a camera.

Any takers?

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I think my crazy is showing. Or is that my bra strap. - Mood:Good
Wednesday June 05 201312:22:18 AM |
I made lemon bars. Haven't tasted yet. Stomach is recovering from dinner. Burger, green bean casserole and baked potatoes.

I have decided to fill my pointless, free, nothing to do summer with television. But i find even if i keep up with all the new shows/ new seasons/ backlogging old seasons of things before the new ones start... I am still bored.

I watched the backlogs of Copper, The Listener, Breaking Pointe, Perception. Along with Mythbusters, attempted Franklin & Bash (can't get into it), and Pretty Little Liars (can't get into it). As well as watching the new stuff that is on weekly now.
That took up like.. 3 weeks. I am bored again now.

My counselor was irritating me. I left angry and frustrated every time. So i wrote him a (really long) letter. And today was as counseling should be. And I'm still annoyed. I asked for change. He changed. And I'm annoyed at that. Wtf.

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Human interaction sucks. - Mood:Good
Monday June 03 20139:10:28 PM |
I am the go to person when someone needs to find stuff. I feel very Red from Shawshank. I'm known to locate certain things from time to time.

Sometimes they give me hard sh*t to find though Like a pool surface skimmer that no one makes anymore.

Think I found something similar enough (she does NOT like change) that she might approve though. Woo

Verizon won't let me buy a phone. In the process of its site being a poophead and not letting my order go through i took 80$ off the bill by finding the same sh*t elsewhere cheaper. So now i just want the phone (Galaxy s3). But nope. Won't let me bill to account. Sales rep can't figure out why. Bah.

I'm always torn. I could get iPhone 4 for free, as well as Spectrum 2. But Galaxy is recommended by my friend and sales rep. And seems to have a better battery life.

Why'd my phone have to die It was perfectly how I wanted it.

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Its been a good few days yall. Let me tell you why. - Mood:Good
Sunday June 02 201310:46:33 PM |
Spent the last two days with my love.

Awesome things:
We went shopping,
i felt all knowledgeable about shoes/ fashion,
fell in love with an adorable kitty,
got a ton of compliments on my nails,
got caught in a giant thunderstorm which was exciting,
went to Schallers (good food),
got some ice cream (mmmm good),
finally won at Sorry (boy was on a 11 game winning streak ),
had some good gooey couple time.

Then today i was
woken up all cute,
got breakfast made for me,
kicked ass at playing Gin,
went out to dinner,
got dessert,
put in the wonderful shelf me boy made for my plants (they aren't all squooshed together anymore!),
ate left over ice cream.

Its been good YT, quite good.

I do believe I found a keeper yall. It'll be 11 months tomorrow since we met. about 10 we've been dating. My family is in love with him. Hes just a nice, sweet, awesome guy.


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I have fallen in love with a kitten. - Mood:Good
Sunday June 02 20131:33:06 AM |

Me and me boy went into Lollypop in the mall to pet some critters, and there were kittens running about. I picked up this little black one and he promptly fell asleep on my hand and in my arms. So I sat there for 25 minutes holding this adorable sleeping purring content kitty and feel completely in love.

My bf wanted to get him for me so bad, said he's never seen me so happy and love filled. I named him Milo in my head. But alas. I can not afford a kitty.

I tried to wake him gently to put him down. He woke up, i shifted him, he started walking on my lap lie he was going to hop down then cozy-ed into the crook of my arm and fell asleep again. So.. 10 more minutes.

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Its not that I didn`t care, its that I didn`t know. Its not what I didn`t feel, its what i didn`t show. - Mood:Good
Saturday June 01 20131:14:50 AM |
Good evening YT.

I'm finding my way back to music, and lyrics and prose. Its nice.

I am reading a book that the more I read it I realize is a lesbian Cinderella. Interesting. I like the spin.

I broke out my sewing machine. I broke out a bunch of memories with it as well. I haven't used that thing in.. years. I had to reteach myself some stuff about it, and perfectly remembered others. Like how to thread the thing. Reminds me of my dad too. He gave it to me years ago, during his 'buy our love with fancy expensive presents' period. I got a nifty gumball machine around that time too.
I get tired of having a family who isn't emotionally there for me. But whos is. I mostly just try to move on.

I am watching two shows at the moment; Copper and The Listener. I quite enjoy them both. Yay for foreign shows. Though Copper isn't.


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Do you like shopping online/ searching for stuff? Help me find shelving? - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 21 20138:51:54 PM |
I think why I always ask YT to help me shop for things online is two reasons. 1) To actually assist in helping me find stuff, since i rather suck at searching for things sometimes. Wording and such, wtf do I call this, etc. 2) Because *I* love searching for things, so I am sharing the fun A game of 'who can find the best _____"

Anywho, I am looking for shelving YT.

I am looking for stand alone shelves that the legs can stand on my window sills and give me 3+ layers of space for plants to sit on.

Like so:

My sills are:

10x35 inches
10x70 inches
10x46 inches

I only buy for
Only gram approved places.

Or if you could give me some keywords to search for other than stack shelves that would be helpful.

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I do believe its a day of Mythbusters and cleaning - Mood:Good
Monday May 20 20137:09:03 PM |
Yes indeed.

I wonder if it makes me a terrible person or just removed from the situation that my first thought from the tornadoes in OK was to think "Hm. I wonder if they will take Carrie Underwood's song "Blown Away" off the air for awhile out of respect."

My plants are growing. I've decided to take weekly pics of them to chart growth since.. I have nothing else to do, and also to show my gram since shes the grower in the family. My aunt said her friend used to say something about gram that is SO beyond accurate, that she can plant a brick and a house would grow. So, so true. She planted two lemon trees at the same time. From seed. Gave one to my aunt, kept one. Grams is about 10 feet high, giant bunches of leaves and shes had to cut it down quite a few times to fit in her living room. My aunts is about 3 feet high, about 9 leaves.

Oh YT. Life is funny. And odd what we do with it.

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Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down - Mood:Good
Saturday May 18 20137:35:29 PM |
Still watching Simon and Garfunkel concert.

Home from boyfriend's house.

I feel grumpy today. Irritable. So probably for the best that we only had one night together.

I got food! I'm excited. Chinese, chicken, cauliflower, raspberries, tomatoes and donuts.

I have to repot a few plants.

I dropped off a plant for my professor. Outside her office. I had emailed her the night before and asked if she would get something in a timely manner if i dropped it off. She said yes. I haven't heard anything back from her I'm worried for my plant. Sitting in a box outside her office. Probably thirsty.
If i don't hear from her by tomorrow i may ride back up and see if its still there. And either water it or take it back

I'm not sure what to do with myself now the semesters over.

I can only play so many facebook games.

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I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me AL - Mood:Good
Friday May 17 201312:13:20 AM |
So, i'm bringing a plant to campus tomorrow. I'd whore the picture of it again, but ithe one i have is a week old, and i'd wanna take a new one since its grown a bunch but I don't wanna get off the couch. So. No picture. Yet.

Which means I have to walk campus tomorrow instead of bike ride. Which takes SO MUCH LONGER. But I'm going for a gyno exam so maybe non bicycle seat vag would be better.

I baked things

Brownie cookies. Delicious.
I'm not sure what to do with myself YT.
I gave myself tonight as a 'do whatever the f*ck you want' because I handed in my last assignment f the semester this afternoon. But i can't figure out what to do.
I'm going to start cleaning my apt tomorrow. So.. that'll be nice, to be able to see my floor again.


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Tales From the Library. - Mood:Good
Wednesday May 15 20134:08:02 PM |
WHY do I always get the THE most annoying girls by me in the library?? "Like, omg, tiffany, like, said that, like, stephanie told her that, like, she had plans but, like, she totally, like, didn't! Like, omg!"

I forgot headphones

I'm having issues doing this project because we did the EXACT SAME PROJECT two months ago (part 1), and we are doing the SAME exact sh*t again. WHY. I did this sh*t already. Doing it again doesn't teach me anything new.

So, here I am again, looking up articles about barriers, limitations, restrictions and such to recreation.

I'm branching out because.. well theres only so many articles like that written 2012-2013. So I have an article about water pathogens in swimming pools. Fascinating. One about Hurricane Sandy destroying a park and recreation place.

I have one about lightning and runners. But its freakin long and i don't wanna use/ read that one

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Til there`s nothing left standing, nothing left of yesterday, Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away - Mood:Good
Monday May 13 201310:26:05 PM |
That song has been stuck in my head for days.

New shows: Mike and Molly (omg awesome) and (non-celeb) rehab with dr. drew.

I think I freak out my counselor with my knowledge of addiction and drug/ alcohol abuse. I'm sorry, I pick up things. Besides, whotf doesn't know what a sponsor is? Hes CASAC, so many hes so in the field he doesn't realize that us non druggies know what all that sh*t is too. "Do you know what methadone maintenance is?" Yes, yes i do.
Probably from my love of Dr. Drew/ Loveline.


I am blissfully and anxietyfully avoiding doing schoolwork right now.


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YT, come sit with me and hold my hand as I go through the 5 stages of schoolwork - Mood:Good
Wednesday May 08 201311:39:43 AM |
Denial, depression, whining, anger, and anxiety.

I got a 100% on my 12 page paper. Holy f*ck. I mean, I was proud of it and everything, but i wrote it in like 8 hours over 2 nights. I'm sure theres sh*t wrong with it. Not a lot, but 100%? I'm not arguing though

So I have to create a 25 minute presentation right now. Before 4pm. Well, after 4pm too, but I have an appt at 4pm. I have to give this presentation tomorrow at 1pm.

I'm freaking the f*ck out.
I need 8 sources. I don't know wtf i'm supposed to be researching. I have a case study. I have to explain, defend and argue with 'my' handling of the situation, a no-right-or-wrong-answer problem that arises with political candidates crashing my senior citizen picnic.
Wtf do i research?
Free speech maybe?
Thats all i can think of.

My shoulders hurt.
Typing will be fun.


Exam friday. Final tuesday, wednesday. THEN I'M FREE

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Take me back to the sweet times The hot nights Everything is gonna be alright In the summertime Baby, in the summertime - Mood:Good
Tuesday May 07 201310:34:13 AM |
I'm cold. Freaking spring. I'm always freezing in spring and fall. They turned off the heat. Its usually 71 in here. Its now 64. I can't feel my toes. Seriously I am crazy cold blooded or something. I have fuzzy slippers two layers of pants and a heavy hoodie on. Still cold.

I am proud of my painted pot so i am showing it here too

I am trying to make a powerpoint for a 25 minute presentation I have to Thursday that.. i just started 10 minutes ago. Its not going well. I don't know wtf I'm doing. I don't know why I just can't get the gist of this assignment. I could have had a fabulous presentation, but no. My brain just.. can't comprehend .

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Why is this computer going SO DAMN SLOW - Mood:Good
Monday May 06 201311:32:22 AM |
My phone as well.



I'm unmedicated YT
Well, kinda.
I skipped my night dose so i could take the morning one earlier, therefore taking the night one earlier since i keep falling asleep before taking it which is messing me all up.

I should be doing schoolwork that i am way behind on right now.
But i am so over this semester.

I am going to miss the turkey paninis in the library though, mmmmmmmm,.

I'm a little grr today Yt. Not sure why. Probably school or such. Last week of classes.

I am going to take out some books from the library today.

Any suggestions?

I have pickles. Neener neener.

I slept like 12 hours so no nap between classes today.

I'm not sure what to do with myself.

Had a lovely weekend though.

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I was all one with nature YT. And i have pics to prove it. - Mood:Good
Sunday May 05 201310:48:38 AM |
And my questionable fashion. Born from laziness, not from taste.

Its morning. A sunday morning. I have been awake since 7am. *sigh*

I watched season 8 (what there is) of Bondi Rescue.
Re-potted a couple plants (whytf aren't two of my sunflowers growing??).
Made some coffee sugar. Its drying now.

Ate some sub.

Aaaand. Now i'm twiddling my thumbs,

I have a giant project due thursday.. But its one of those things where i don't even know where to begin. So.. I haven't.

I can't wait for the semester to be over. I will miss having a purpose for waking up. Well, that sounds depressing, I will miss having a place to go that is. But will not miss all the work and sh*t. I am so over my classes.

In case you were wondering i went with gymnastics over costuming. I emailed and costuming sounds wicked intense for a 1 credit class. Fun. But too much work with my other classes.

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I need a movie to watch. - Mood:Good
Friday May 03 201311:15:43 AM |
But I am very specific in my wantings.

I'm thinking.. movie i've seen before, but like, only once, a long time ago.

Nothing too drama-esque, or comedy-esque. A mix of the two would be nice. Nothing too sad or depressing. But i don't wanna happy and bubbly either.


I skipped class today. I'm not sue why. I was up. I woke up at 4am, after falling asleep around 6pm. Class at 10am.
Just.. didn't feel like going. And just lecture today i believe. Nothing due or such. That I know of. Hopefully.

I've been trying to go back to sleep since i woke up. No luck.

Bunch of my little seedlings are coming up. Woo

I'm a bit meh and apathetic today.

You know what concept I hate? Consequences.

I might model some dress for yall whether you like it or not later. If i actually get off my couch.

Supposed to be nice out today.


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Oh god its morning. - Mood:Good
Thursday May 02 20136:59:51 AM |
Good morning YT.

I lost last night
Now I get to answer for it today. Fun times. I miss when my life was just my own.

I have to throw out a whole bag of homemade cookies They taste bad though But still. Sadness.

More of my flowers are coming up!
Only one more pot.

Only half my sunflowers came up. Why

No sign of tomatoes.

Supposed to be 77 today, woo.

I find myself apathetic YT.

Got my slip in the mail. Half slip. It looks.. small. Perhaps I should have gotten a medium.
I never understand that. I am little. And i take a medium in most stuff. People who take smalls must be like, a pencil.

Skirts are not made for people with asses I have discovered.

I wish i could find loveline episodes online free. I am so not paying for them when if i was awake at certain times I could listen for free.

Oh YT.

Another day.

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Oh YT. Its another crazy journal. - Mood:Good
Wednesday May 01 201312:59:35 PM |
Saw new counselor today since my regular one like.. disappeared.

I don't like this new guy. But i don't like him in a way that intrigues me so i don't want to switch. Well, plus i don't like anyone else.

I don't know. He makes me super defensive.
I went in not being urgey at all.
At the moment it is taking ever fiber of my being not to cut and i'm pretty sure i'm going to lose the battle. I'm mostly trying to wait as long as i can to do it because the more time that passes the lesser it will be i believe.

I've been up since 10pm last night. Normally I'd just.. go to sleep and sleep through the urge but i will f*ck up my sleep schedule even more if i do that.

I could also try to wait it out til 5:30pm, head back to campus and chat with my friend, she is a good calming influence, and if nothing else, it'll put it off like 4 hours. But then i gotta ride my bike back.


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Costuming or gymnastics? - Mood:Good
Monday April 29 20135:19:47 PM |
I need a bullsh*t class.

They are both at the same time.
I've been trying to get into gymnastics forever, to improve my dance. But I am getting old. I might break a hip.
Costuming sounds fun, working back stage in the theatre and all. But i don't know what exactly it entails.

Oh decisions.

I'm tired of talking.

You talk first.

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Why does Levinson have to have such a sh*tty theory???? - Mood:Good
Sunday April 28 20136:58:21 PM |
This is the journal where i will cry, scream, rant, moan, complain, and whine about the paper I am writing, that is due tomorrow.

At the moment i am at the section where i have to pick 2 theorists and explain their theories of early adulthood. I have to use the textbook. The textbook mention 3, erikson, levinson and vaillant. Levinson and vaillant have like, 3 paragraphs each of info that says nothing. This section has to be 1 1/2 pages. UGHHHHHHH.
Stupid sh*tty theorists.

Early adult theories are sh*t. Childhood, thats where the good theories are. I miss piaget.

I also have to link the theorist to the assessments i did. Which are stress, life satisfaction and depression scale. Not sure.... thats fits.


Stupid paper
stupid theorists
stupid class
stupid textbook
stupid assessments
stupid pancakes

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Okay so heres the thing. - Mood:Good
Saturday April 27 20132:55:46 AM |
I made coffee snickerdoodles. They are too bitter with the coffee flavor in them. Soo... I mixed them into vanilla ice cream. OH. MY. GOD.

Picture may come.

Oh YT.

I interviewed a girl today. Fun times. I don't think I'm a good interviewer.

I have to write a giant paper, with a 5 page long explanation of what has to go in the paper, by Monday. I may die.
Or more likely lose my sanity and fail.

I have so much sh*t growing in my apt. I feel all green thumbed.

I have to pee YT, brb.

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A less crazy journal. Maybe. We`ll see. - Mood:Good
Thursday April 25 20139:13:54 PM |
I am making cookies Snickerdoodles I think. I'm having some motivation issues so I've been adding a couple ingredients, coming back to my couch, adding ingredients, couch. I figure forcing myself to actually move might be a good thing.

Skipped two classes today Bad Nicole.

My Pepper was in my dream. She came back from heaven to help us solve a mystery I think. I miss her. But thats the good thing about having such vivid dreams. I still get to see her, and Max, and Gus.

Song I'm choreographing to
Its slow/ modern dance which means my mom won't come, she hates the slow ones, comes to see the meaningless hip hop ones. Sorry mama, this ones for me, and means something to me.

Should I add espresso to my 'doodles?

I slept for 17 hours 1am- 6pm. Yay depression. Its nice really. I'm less anxious and urgey when in it.


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