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Female, 31 years old
ny, Eastern US


18 Buddies
28 Subscribers
28,229 Profile Views
48,125 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
Link to this profile:

i won`t have to anymore jon groff

Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Poetry / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (31 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Dating
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Buddhist
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: free. i like free food. i`m health nut though
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
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Oh what a beautiful mooooooooorning, oh what a beautiful day, i`ve got a beautiful feeeeeeeeeeeling - Mood:Good
Wednesday February 11 20097:47:20 AM |
I have pretty much been known to come close to murder when i have to be up before 10am. Even 10am is pushing it. i am NOT a morning person. I function best between 10pm-4am.

I used to come seriously close to quitting every morning when i had to be at work by 7am.

However. I am up right now. Its almost 8am. I was up at like 6am.
And am not homicidal in the least

Why? The bf found a wonderful way of waking me up sans homicide

Amazing. I didn't think it could be done.

You've got mail. The bfs brother was so laughing at me watch it. I kept girly sighing and getting all.. well, girly.

I have a problem though. That i would like to talk to death with a million people because i am a girl and thats how i work.
Which drives the bf insane.

There are 33 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Dude. Its cold standing outside in just a towel. Or, how i set off the fire alarm. - Mood:Good
Tuesday February 10 20092:20:48 AM |
So i was in the shower, enjoying a very lovely, loooooong, scolding hot shower. Possibly singing. When the fire alarm went off. I swore a bit, and dressed as quickly as i could with shaking hands (what if there actually was a fire??).

I went to go outside and realized i had no shoes on. Its 30 degrees. I ran to my room and grabbed a pair of boots.

I had thin pants, boots, a tank top and a towel. And wet hair/other. Dear lord that was cold. At least it wasn't 5 degrees like it was the other night.

So we all go back inside after waiting a good 30 minutes outside. I go back into the bathroom. Word in the bathroom, where all the girls from the floor had gathered, that someone taking too hot of a shower set off the alarm....

It was a damn good shower though, until the whole fire alarm part.

There are 22 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Well, I found out what my mystery package was/ No more singing wooland creatures - Mood:Good
Monday February 09 20092:38:25 PM |
I'm back from my high. I don't like it down here

The mystery package was a textbook i forgot i bought online
Totally unfun package.


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I really feel like going to dance and sing with animated woodland creatures. With rainbows in the background. Next to a stream of hot fudge. With a tiara on.... Ok no tiara. - Mood:Good
Friday February 06 200910:19:31 PM |
Holy crap. I am happy. Honestly happy. And sickeningly in love. Someone make it go away

*dreamy girly sigh*

Dude. Love kinda rocks. Yay for feeling wonderful without drug enhancement.

I'm starting to shake my head at myself and point and laugh though. Seriously. I have these freaky dreamy lovestruck eyes going.
Plus i am WAY too happy. I'm not supposed to be happy, i'm a cutter godammit.

However, my crazy depressed pessimistic side isn't completely gone. As good as this feels i keep thinking "man.. this is gonna suck hard and be a long fall down to cold concrete if this relationship ends"

So i'm still in there somewhere. Beneath the lovey smiles and dreamy sighs and singing woodland creatures.

There are 16 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Holy throat hurting/ I have throat cancer - Mood:Good
Wednesday February 04 20092:53:35 PM |
But.. not my throat. like,

I'm dying aren't.

Its not bad when i'm not chewing/swalllowing.

But... i'd rather not starve. And i have no pudding!!!

There are 20 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

How does one stop being clingy/needy? - Mood:Good
Wednesday February 04 200912:05:11 AM |
I hate you all. I said "for the win". Out loud today.

Pasta al fredo at 11pm. Oh dear GOD. Not a good idea.

I am such a girl. I've always kinda prided myself on being mostly ungirl-like. But this whole bf thing? Yea. COMPLETELY a girl. make it go away.

So, any suggestions on the title?

I thought about stopping into the counseling center. Maybe they can help, give me some tips/insights. Plus theres the whole cutting thing to keep in check.

So i was thinking about living in a bubble. Anyone know where i can get one?

There are 30 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

There`s something wrong with me - Mood:Good
Tuesday February 03 20091:57:17 PM |
I keep crying for no reason And am in a crappy mood.
But... I go numb, mute and pretty much catatonic when i'm in a crappy mood.
I have to literally scream and push at myself in my head to even answer people.

How the f*ck do i wake myself back up?

There are 29 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Wanna keep me company in the laundry room?/ What time is it? Its laundry day! - Mood:Good
Tuesday February 03 20091:00:21 AM |
If i took all the clothes hanging around in this room i could have a whole new wardrobe. I wouldn't do that. But i know people who would, therefore, i brought my laptop down here to keep me company as i chaperone my laundry.

I already read a readers digest. And my clothes are in the dryer now.
It smells like gas down here.

I have 44 minutes left on my clothes.

I may be singing along with my laptop at 1am by myself in the laundry room.

i am THIS CLOSE to dance all about in here. Its quite roomy in here.

My hair always looks like crap. I get out of bed, it looks like crap, i dance it looks like crap. i get out of the SHOWER and it looks like crap. It hates me.

I feel like i am annoying/being bitchy at/pissing off everyone today. Including myself.
Its unpleasant.

i washed my reds with my whites, and i expect to get away with it. I don't mind pink.

So whats up?

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My gram just gave me a sex talk. Hilarious. - Mood:Good
Monday February 02 20091:07:45 AM |
All i said was i slept over my boyfriend's house last night.

I got a disapproving sound then "well, what you do is up to you and your mother". Not me and my bf, no, me and my mother

To which i replied "um, what does mom have to do with anything? Gram i'm 23 years old."

Then i got a "both me and your mother got pregnant before we planned" speech.

I swear they think of me as 15 and being a virgin forever.

And the bf wonders why i'm so weird about sex. Because i came from them!!

In related news, i have NASTY looking hickey/bruises all over my neck Make up doesn't even cover it. Hes evil. He so did that on purpose.

He used the L word we've been technically dating for like, a week. And he used the L word I'm not sure if i wanna go there yet. Yes completely smitten, but the L word? Bah.

He so brought me to a porn store today.

There are 29 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Do you ever in the middle of walking start thinking and next thing you know you are wondering how on earth you got where you are? - Mood:Good
Friday January 30 20092:33:29 PM |
Its interesting.

My neighbors are SO mad at me. And its all my boyfriends fault He's mean, he knows i have neighbors and he knows what happens when he does certain things. Mean.

YAY! First week of classes over.

And i was SO RIGHT about what all my stomach issues were. Pms btw.

Wow this journal is just full of TMI

What are you doing tonight between 7pm and midnight?

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The boy slept over/ i`m late/ i`m skipping class/ holy good reflexes/ i`m a terrible student/ i need a gut transplant - Mood:Good
Thursday January 29 20096:36:27 PM |
Ok then. Where shall we start.

I am skipping class right now because i am a terrible time manager and therefore got out of the shower 3 minutes before class started, i don't even have the book we were supposed to read yet, and my stomach is revolting.

My stomach. and intestines. and other evil insides i don't know are involved.
For a good week now my stomach and company have been giving me hell. Its unpleasant. I got all nauseous and dizzy in the shower couple days ago. Everything i eat my stomach rejects.

So i opened my fridge, which plugged my alarm clock cord, my alarm clock is wound through my lamp, so my alarm clock, lamp, water bottle, etc, all went tumbling to the floor. With one hand, i caught my lamp sideways. woo go me

Ow. my kidneys hurt. Everything from my boobs to my vagina is in pain and aches.

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F*cking class. I should have skipped and played trivia - Mood:Good
Wednesday January 28 20092:54:29 PM |
Do I-

1) dance from 5-6 then have class from 6-8 then hang with bf


2) have class from 6-8, dance from 9:30-11pm and not hang with bf today

This of course is all subjective to if my stomach actually wants to behave today.

I am going to textbook shop online right now.
I don't need one of them for a month or so, so i figured i'd see if i can get it online cheaper than the 100$ the bookstore wants

I am now takin:

Sankofa (african drum and dance emsemble)
African dance II
Movement and self awareness
Modern history
Ancient history

Though i am working on dropping ancient history since i only need one.

Someone teach me how to be a less clingy girlfriend.

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Zomg my face is falling off - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 27 200910:16:36 PM |
I have a lump on my face.

I got a lump on my face is early december under my right eye. I figure it was one of those ultra mutating zits that comes from the depth of hell before surfacing. It mostly was.
Then i got another one a couple days like 2 cms from the first one.

They went down, but i still have small red tiny bumps from them.

THEN i got one on my left cheek, under my eye, EXACTLY symmetrical to the one on the right cheek. Same depth of hell weird hard lump inside my cheek first. But.. i never really completely looked like a zit.

Anyway, that one is a tiny red bump now too.

And i just got ANOTHER ONE, little higher up from the first right eye one.

Its a giant hard lump underneath my skin. Theres no broken skin or anything.


I wash it everyday. Take a shower everything.
I was using a new soap but stopped

I would take pics but.. ew.

There are 25 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

*Dreamy sigh* - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 27 20091:39:55 PM |
I'm bursting with love happiness.

Its odd

Make it go away.

Not really. But lovesick people annoy me. And I am SO there

He sends me the sweetest texts.
I feel so.. appreciated. Like he actually gives a f*ck about me. Its lovely

Enough lovey dovey crap.

My Ancient World professor has THE most perfect voice to fall asleep to. I seriously want to record him and listen on about ancient hunter gatherers when i can't fall asleep. It'll put me right out.
But very very bad for staying awake in class.

Modern World is next at 3. I hope that guy is part teacher part actor. Those ones are always fun.
I doubt it though.


It hurts when i eat. It hurts when i don't eat. EVERYTHING bothers it.

I can't live on cheerios man.
What a sucky week to have my stomach going flippity fluey.

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Ok someone help me figure out my life. This specific part anyway. - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 27 20092:08:05 AM |
So there is something wrong with my stomach i either caught a bug or its pms. yes my pms is that bad. Plus i just moved back into the dorms and that messes up my stomach every time. So it could be a combination.

Anyway. I have a class MWF from 9:30am-11am that i didn't go to this morning because i felt like i wad dying. I was going to drop that class anyway though.

I have a class on TR from 9:45-11:15am. I shouldn't drop that class. Its ballet. i HATE ballet. But it might help in my dance audition thats coming up in March. But i took the exact same class last semester. and HATED it and it was at 11:30am.
I don't get up in the morning well. when I had a job I seriously woke up and went, dude, i'd so rather get fired than get up. Only thing that made me get up was that my stepdad was my ride and i didn't wanna make him late.


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This is like.. the third happy journal in a row for me.. holy jujubees, what is this boy doing to me - Mood:Good
Monday January 26 200912:08:54 AM |
"I so should have stayed. Even for just one minute longer. Just so i could see your pretty face."

Seriously. holy corny wonderful sweetness

However, my stomach is killing me. BAH!!!!

Classes start tomorrow.
I think i should just stay here in this dorm and not go to any classes. Just enjoy dorm life.

This guy is so going to leave me. Because i am WAY too complicated man. And have so many issues.

But I am going to enjoy it while it lasts

How was your night?

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Ahhhhh back to dorm (food) life - Mood:Good
Sunday January 25 20093:04:38 PM |
What i could eat today:

-frozen chicken gram made me
-frozen chicken nuggets
-mini bagels


Man. I miss real food (choice) already.

The bf comes over in 4 hours And i HAVE to make him leave at midnight! Because i have class! I *should* make him leave anyway. Not sure thats actually going to happen. But i SO have to. Because i can't sleep with other people in my bed. And he has to leave before me, so he'll wake me up and i am homicidal if woken up.
Plus i think its to soon for a sleepover

I'd have the boy bring me real food but i'd feel bad.

So. Waffles or rice for breakfast?

I stayed up til 4am playing gin with a friend of mine last night. That was fun. I won That boy needs to get laid. And so not by me. Perhaps then he'd stop trying to grab at me Not in a bad way. Just in a 'whoa dude, i have a bf" enough way. But still.

There are 14 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`m starting to think i talk too much. - Mood:Good
Saturday January 24 200910:39:49 PM |
All my friends are boys at the moment.

And i think they get tired of me talking. Cuz the boyfriend shuts me up by making out with me, like.. he wants for me to take a breath then starts kissing me. I think he's trying to tell me something

And A friend of mine just completely uh huhed and at one of my breaths really quickly hurried in with "Oki'mgonnagogetsomethingtoeatnowBYE!"


My bf wanted to bring me home tonight. Nicole is so not ready to meet parents/family.
Nicole is social anxiety prone and its not fun to meet people.

Plus I like being in my space. I'm not ready to be in his space yet.

EWW. Man. What is worse than finding a piece of corn in your chocolate pudding in a kids cuisine meal.

*happy sigh*

Holy nicole is sexually inexperienced batman.

There are 23 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Holy sh*t and cakes - Mood:Good
Saturday January 24 20092:05:29 PM |
How sad am I.

I have to be like, medically anti-social/social anxiety. Because i have to go to dining services to get my swipe card fixed, and i have to take a shower. but i hear people in the hallway. And therefore won't leave my room.

So last night I stayed in my new dorm room for the first time
And had boy company for awhile
Boys. Seriously. He kissed me Then a bit later, he made out with me. Then a bit later he tried sticking his hands down my pants. Boys. Have no patience.
Hes nice though, and sweet, and i like him

Then he left, and my guy friend messaged and said the girl he was gonna ask out tonight (holy short notice) she lived in my building, and his phone fell in a puddle and died, so can i let him in and we go looking for her room together?

At 2:30am.

There are 24 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`m gonna cry. - Mood:Good
Thursday January 22 20095:46:40 PM |
I am a germophobe and emetophobic.

I have to be back at school, move back into the dorms all day tomorrow.

My stepfather got some kind of stomach virus thingy sunday. I went and stayed at my grandmas but had to come back tonight since i have to move all my stuff from my house to the dorm tomorrow.

My mother's stomach is now funky


PLUS we just got a call from the grocery store that we purchased a contaminated box of chocolate that we have all been eating for weeks.


However, i researched, and salmonella usually kicks in 8-72 hours after eating and no ones had one of those things in a week or little less.

So i just have mr and mrs stomach bug downstairs.

There are 26 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving - Mood:Good
Wednesday January 21 20098:01:42 PM |

If all goes well, by this time Friday i should be in my dorm room macking on some guy.
Well not macking. and hes not some guy.
Is it macking? I'm not good with lingo.

But still.


Something is going to go wrong. Why? Because i want this too bad.

My mother is going to come down with my stepdad's stomach bug
The weather is gonna be terrible
All my crap isn't gonna fit in my mom's car
The car will die


So the guy with said macking. I like another boy better than him And its confuzzling my brain.

There are 53 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I know you`re out there. - Mood:Good
Wednesday January 21 20094:25:34 AM |
I feel like i'm all alone in a big creepy hotel at night.

Is there anyone else out there?

Me= Not liking vacant YT

I could go to bed i suppose.

But why would i do that

Roll Call!

I swear if i'm alone i'm gonna lock myself in a closet

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I don`t wanna know about stagnate air masses/ I made cake (pics) - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 20 200910:38:43 PM |

Its really hard to stop myself from eating the whole thing.

I put chocolate chips in the big one. Cinnamon in the cupcakes


I am SO out of shape.
Thats very bad.

Since in 6 days i have to jump into a very heavy dance class schedule.


Who wants cake?

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Anyone have any good chocolate cake recipes? - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 20 20098:42:19 PM |
I want to make one.

But i don't have any good recipes.

I like it chocolatey and moist, but not overly fudgey/brownie-like.

And don't bother poiting me to a recipes site, i want something tried and true

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A whiny, angsty, emo, 15 year old girl type journal - Mood:Good
Monday January 19 20094:59:26 PM |
Make it stop hurrrrrting

Make all my mistakes and the fact that i f*cked up the best thing in my life stop pounding in my head.

Though i kinda understand why people drink a little better now.

I don't have my vice back for 7 more days

Someone please make the pain of what i did go away.

I won't ever find it again will i

There are 45 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

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