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Female, 31 years old
ny, Eastern US

  Offline - Last On: 4hrs ago

18 Buddies
27 Subscribers
27,592 Profile Views
47,889 Posts | Member Since: 7/25/2002
Link to this profile:

i won`t have to anymore jon groff
myspace.com/forwardthemusical


Interests: Dogs / Dancing / Games / Poetry / Singing
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:10/11/1985 (31 Years Old)
IM Type: MSN IM Name:
Occupation: Dancer
Marital Status: Dating
Sexual Preference: (Decline to State)
Religion: Buddhist
Politics: (Decline to State)
Fav. Movie: good will hunting, you`ve got mail, dead poets
Fav. TV Show: House, macgyver, poker
Fav. Book: Without You by Anthony Rapp
Fav. Song: i like broadway :-) and singer/songwriters
Fav. Food: free. i like free food. i`m health nut though
Fav. Car: bah. walkings where its at
 
Theme 'evanescence2' created by NicolesLove
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Wanna keep me company in the laundry room?/ What time is it? Its laundry day! - Mood:Good
Tuesday February 03 20091:00:21 AM |
If i took all the clothes hanging around in this room i could have a whole new wardrobe. I wouldn't do that. But i know people who would, therefore, i brought my laptop down here to keep me company as i chaperone my laundry.

I already read a readers digest. And my clothes are in the dryer now.
It smells like gas down here.

I have 44 minutes left on my clothes.

I may be singing along with my laptop at 1am by myself in the laundry room.

i am THIS CLOSE to dance all about in here. Its quite roomy in here.

My hair always looks like crap. I get out of bed, it looks like crap, i dance it looks like crap. i get out of the SHOWER and it looks like crap. It hates me.

I feel like i am annoying/being bitchy at/pissing off everyone today. Including myself.
Its unpleasant.

i washed my reds with my whites, and i expect to get away with it. I don't mind pink.

So whats up?

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My gram just gave me a sex talk. Hilarious. - Mood:Good
Monday February 02 20091:07:45 AM |
All i said was i slept over my boyfriend's house last night.

I got a disapproving sound then "well, what you do is up to you and your mother". Not me and my bf, no, me and my mother

To which i replied "um, what does mom have to do with anything? Gram i'm 23 years old."

Then i got a "both me and your mother got pregnant before we planned" speech.

I swear they think of me as 15 and being a virgin forever.

And the bf wonders why i'm so weird about sex. Because i came from them!!

In related news, i have NASTY looking hickey/bruises all over my neck Make up doesn't even cover it. Hes evil. He so did that on purpose.

He used the L word we've been technically dating for like, a week. And he used the L word I'm not sure if i wanna go there yet. Yes completely smitten, but the L word? Bah.

He so brought me to a porn store today.

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Do you ever in the middle of walking start thinking and next thing you know you are wondering how on earth you got where you are? - Mood:Good
Friday January 30 20092:33:29 PM |
Its interesting.

My neighbors are SO mad at me. And its all my boyfriends fault He's mean, he knows i have neighbors and he knows what happens when he does certain things. Mean.

YAY! First week of classes over.

And i was SO RIGHT about what all my stomach issues were. Pms btw.

Wow this journal is just full of TMI

What are you doing tonight between 7pm and midnight?

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The boy slept over/ i`m late/ i`m skipping class/ holy good reflexes/ i`m a terrible student/ i need a gut transplant - Mood:Good
Thursday January 29 20096:36:27 PM |
Ok then. Where shall we start.

I am skipping class right now because i am a terrible time manager and therefore got out of the shower 3 minutes before class started, i don't even have the book we were supposed to read yet, and my stomach is revolting.

My stomach. and intestines. and other evil insides i don't know are involved.
For a good week now my stomach and company have been giving me hell. Its unpleasant. I got all nauseous and dizzy in the shower couple days ago. Everything i eat my stomach rejects.

So i opened my fridge, which plugged my alarm clock cord, my alarm clock is wound through my lamp, so my alarm clock, lamp, water bottle, etc, all went tumbling to the floor. With one hand, i caught my lamp sideways. woo go me

Ow. my kidneys hurt. Everything from my boobs to my vagina is in pain and aches.

There are 17 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

F*cking class. I should have skipped and played trivia - Mood:Good
Wednesday January 28 20092:54:29 PM |
Do I-

1) dance from 5-6 then have class from 6-8 then hang with bf

or

2) have class from 6-8, dance from 9:30-11pm and not hang with bf today

This of course is all subjective to if my stomach actually wants to behave today.

I am going to textbook shop online right now.
I don't need one of them for a month or so, so i figured i'd see if i can get it online cheaper than the 100$ the bookstore wants

I am now takin:

Sankofa (african drum and dance emsemble)
African dance II
Movement and self awareness
Modern history
Ancient history

Though i am working on dropping ancient history since i only need one.

Someone teach me how to be a less clingy girlfriend.
Thanks.

There are 7 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Zomg my face is falling off - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 27 200910:16:36 PM |
I have a lump on my face.

I got a lump on my face is early december under my right eye. I figure it was one of those ultra mutating zits that comes from the depth of hell before surfacing. It mostly was.
Then i got another one a couple days like 2 cms from the first one.

They went down, but i still have small red tiny bumps from them.

THEN i got one on my left cheek, under my eye, EXACTLY symmetrical to the one on the right cheek. Same depth of hell weird hard lump inside my cheek first. But.. i never really completely looked like a zit.

Anyway, that one is a tiny red bump now too.

And i just got ANOTHER ONE, little higher up from the first right eye one.

Its a giant hard lump underneath my skin. Theres no broken skin or anything.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FACE

I wash it everyday. Take a shower everything.
I was using a new soap but stopped

I would take pics but.. ew.

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*Dreamy sigh* - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 27 20091:39:55 PM |
I'm bursting with love happiness.

Its odd

Make it go away.

Not really. But lovesick people annoy me. And I am SO there

He sends me the sweetest texts.
I feel so.. appreciated. Like he actually gives a f*ck about me. Its lovely


Anyway!!!!!
Enough lovey dovey crap.

My Ancient World professor has THE most perfect voice to fall asleep to. I seriously want to record him and listen on about ancient hunter gatherers when i can't fall asleep. It'll put me right out.
But very very bad for staying awake in class.

Modern World is next at 3. I hope that guy is part teacher part actor. Those ones are always fun.
I doubt it though.

WHAT THE drat IS WRONG WITH MY STOMACH.

It hurts when i eat. It hurts when i don't eat. EVERYTHING bothers it.

I can't live on cheerios man.
What a sucky week to have my stomach going flippity fluey.

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Ok someone help me figure out my life. This specific part anyway. - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 27 20092:08:05 AM |
So there is something wrong with my stomach i either caught a bug or its pms. yes my pms is that bad. Plus i just moved back into the dorms and that messes up my stomach every time. So it could be a combination.

Anyway. I have a class MWF from 9:30am-11am that i didn't go to this morning because i felt like i wad dying. I was going to drop that class anyway though.

I have a class on TR from 9:45-11:15am. I shouldn't drop that class. Its ballet. i HATE ballet. But it might help in my dance audition thats coming up in March. But i took the exact same class last semester. and HATED it and it was at 11:30am.
I don't get up in the morning well. when I had a job I seriously woke up and went, dude, i'd so rather get fired than get up. Only thing that made me get up was that my stepdad was my ride and i didn't wanna make him late.

(cont)

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This is like.. the third happy journal in a row for me.. holy jujubees, what is this boy doing to me - Mood:Good
Monday January 26 200912:08:54 AM |
"I so should have stayed. Even for just one minute longer. Just so i could see your pretty face."

Seriously. holy corny wonderful sweetness

However, my stomach is killing me. BAH!!!!

Classes start tomorrow.
I think i should just stay here in this dorm and not go to any classes. Just enjoy dorm life.

This guy is so going to leave me. Because i am WAY too complicated man. And have so many issues.

But I am going to enjoy it while it lasts

How was your night?

There are 25 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Ahhhhh back to dorm (food) life - Mood:Good
Sunday January 25 20093:04:38 PM |
What i could eat today:

-PB&F
-frozen chicken gram made me
-frozen chicken nuggets
-waffles
-mini bagels
-rice

OH THE CHOICES

Man. I miss real food (choice) already.

The bf comes over in 4 hours And i HAVE to make him leave at midnight! Because i have class! I *should* make him leave anyway. Not sure thats actually going to happen. But i SO have to. Because i can't sleep with other people in my bed. And he has to leave before me, so he'll wake me up and i am homicidal if woken up.
Plus i think its to soon for a sleepover

I'd have the boy bring me real food but i'd feel bad.

So. Waffles or rice for breakfast?

I stayed up til 4am playing gin with a friend of mine last night. That was fun. I won That boy needs to get laid. And so not by me. Perhaps then he'd stop trying to grab at me Not in a bad way. Just in a 'whoa dude, i have a bf" enough way. But still.

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I`m starting to think i talk too much. - Mood:Good
Saturday January 24 200910:39:49 PM |
All my friends are boys at the moment.

And i think they get tired of me talking. Cuz the boyfriend shuts me up by making out with me, like.. he wants for me to take a breath then starts kissing me. I think he's trying to tell me something

And A friend of mine just completely uh huhed and at one of my breaths really quickly hurried in with "Oki'mgonnagogetsomethingtoeatnowBYE!"

Oops.

My bf wanted to bring me home tonight. Nicole is so not ready to meet parents/family.
Nicole is social anxiety prone and its not fun to meet people.

Plus I like being in my space. I'm not ready to be in his space yet.

EWW. Man. What is worse than finding a piece of corn in your chocolate pudding in a kids cuisine meal.

*happy sigh*

Holy nicole is sexually inexperienced batman.

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Holy sh*t and cakes - Mood:Good
Saturday January 24 20092:05:29 PM |
How sad am I.

I have to be like, medically anti-social/social anxiety. Because i have to go to dining services to get my swipe card fixed, and i have to take a shower. but i hear people in the hallway. And therefore won't leave my room.


So last night I stayed in my new dorm room for the first time
And had boy company for awhile
Boys. Seriously. He kissed me Then a bit later, he made out with me. Then a bit later he tried sticking his hands down my pants. Boys. Have no patience.
Hes nice though, and sweet, and i like him

Then he left, and my guy friend messaged and said the girl he was gonna ask out tonight (holy short notice) she lived in my building, and his phone fell in a puddle and died, so can i let him in and we go looking for her room together?

At 2:30am.

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I`m gonna cry. - Mood:Good
Thursday January 22 20095:46:40 PM |
I am a germophobe and emetophobic.

I have to be back at school, move back into the dorms all day tomorrow.

My stepfather got some kind of stomach virus thingy sunday. I went and stayed at my grandmas but had to come back tonight since i have to move all my stuff from my house to the dorm tomorrow.

My mother's stomach is now funky

I SWEAR TO GOD IF THEY GIVE ME ANYTHING.

PLUS we just got a call from the grocery store that we purchased a contaminated box of chocolate that we have all been eating for weeks.

WAY TO FREAK ME THE F*CK OUT

However, i researched, and salmonella usually kicks in 8-72 hours after eating and no ones had one of those things in a week or little less.

So i just have mr and mrs stomach bug downstairs.

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I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving I`m moving i`m moving - Mood:Good
Wednesday January 21 20098:01:42 PM |
Hopefully.

If all goes well, by this time Friday i should be in my dorm room macking on some guy.
Well not macking. and hes not some guy.
Is it macking? I'm not good with lingo.


But still.

EVERYONE HOPE, PRAY AND/OR SACRIFICE SMALL CHILDREN TO GODS. DO IT.

Something is going to go wrong. Why? Because i want this too bad.

My mother is going to come down with my stepdad's stomach bug
Or
The weather is gonna be terrible
Or
All my crap isn't gonna fit in my mom's car
Or
The car will die
Or
SOMETHING IS GOING TO GO WRONG.

/paranoia.

So the guy with said macking. I like another boy better than him And its confuzzling my brain.

There are 53 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I know you`re out there. - Mood:Good
Wednesday January 21 20094:25:34 AM |
I feel like i'm all alone in a big creepy hotel at night.

Is there anyone else out there?

Me= Not liking vacant YT

I could go to bed i suppose.

But why would i do that

Roll Call!

I swear if i'm alone i'm gonna lock myself in a closet

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I don`t wanna know about stagnate air masses/ I made cake (pics) - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 20 200910:38:43 PM |

Its really hard to stop myself from eating the whole thing.

I put chocolate chips in the big one. Cinnamon in the cupcakes

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I am SO out of shape.
Thats very bad.

Since in 6 days i have to jump into a very heavy dance class schedule.

Bah.

Who wants cake?

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Anyone have any good chocolate cake recipes? - Mood:Good
Tuesday January 20 20098:42:19 PM |
I want to make one.

But i don't have any good recipes.

I like it chocolatey and moist, but not overly fudgey/brownie-like.

And don't bother poiting me to a recipes site, i want something tried and true

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A whiny, angsty, emo, 15 year old girl type journal - Mood:Good
Monday January 19 20094:59:26 PM |
Make it stop hurrrrrting

Make all my mistakes and the fact that i f*cked up the best thing in my life stop pounding in my head.

Though i kinda understand why people drink a little better now.

I don't have my vice back for 7 more days

Someone please make the pain of what i did go away.

I won't ever find it again will i

There are 45 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Why am i leaking/ Holy hell, since when is there a 9am?/ making grocery lists are hard - Mood:Good
Monday January 19 200910:48:36 AM |
I went to bed at midnight, woke up at 4am. Laid in bed not being able to get comfy and being semi wide awake but in a sleep deprived way for awhile, feel asleep again for about 45 minutes, woke up at 8:30am.

Ben awake ever since Nicole doesn't like not sleeping. It makes Nicole very angry.

So i'm trying to make a last-grocery-run-before-moving-back-into-the-dorm-and-being-stuck-there list and its not going well.

I can't think of what else i need. I'll remember when i'm there and stuck there

so far i have

Hair gel
Hooks
butter
cheese
sauce
bagels
gummys
cupcakes
healthy choice meals
cereal (2)
waffles
peanut butter
fluff


Though i'm kinda scared to buy PB. I know they said the jars aren't affected. But I don't wanna be dying of salmonella when in 3 days they say "oh, and the jars were affected too, our mistake"

Maybe i'll just get the fluff. Hold off on the PB.

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God i dislike my family - Mood:Good
Sunday January 18 20097:18:05 PM |
yea yea i should appreciate them yada. I would like to appreciate them from living 30 minutes away. I love them and everything. but holy crap i can't live with them.

I have a very very early stage relationship starting with a guy. and i SWEAR TO GOD if my grandma tells me one more time about how i have to bend and do things i don't want to i'm gonna hit her with a fish.
In 5 minutes she told me i "have to bend" 11 times. 11 TIMES!

Wtf. I love you gram. But stay the f*ck out of my relationships.

I had so much more to bitch about but i suddenly lost my will to bitch..

So you bitch for awhile. I'll join in later.

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How do people with insomnia not kill themselves/other people? - Mood:Good
Sunday January 18 20099:09:35 AM |
I've accepted that i will not be falling asleep tonight.

But for godsake can i at least get comfortable???

If someone in western ny goes on a killing spree, it might be me.

AND ITS SUNDAY SO I CAN'T EVEN LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE AND SAY AT LEAST I WON'T MISS TRIVIA

Someone hit me really hard with a blunt object.

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WTF is wrong with me? (part 253) - Mood:Good
Saturday January 17 20099:12:15 PM |
I just got back from a date.

I like him, hes a nice guy.
We walked around the mall for awhile trying to figure out what to do.
Went to an arcade
Went and got subs and chatted.
Over a span of about 5 hours.

Yet... I sit in my room from getting home just... bummed. I can't think of a better word for it.

It was a good date. I had a good time. Much fun at the arcade. Good convo over dinner.

Yet.. I am about to cry. what the ever lovin f*ck?????

I want a hug.
I don't want to be alone tonight.

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I must bitch. - Mood:Good
Saturday January 17 20093:26:53 AM |
OH MY GOD.

I was watching my best friend's girl online.

I have been walking for 1 hour and 13 minutes. It has 20 minutes left.

It is at the HUGE climax.

For those who have seen it its when dane cook is walking down the aisle in slow motion lighting a cigarette with the music playing behind him.

AND THE dratING VIDEO SAYS I HAVE WATCHED 72 HOURS OF VIDEO TODAY, PLEASE WAIT 54 MINUTES TO CONTINUE.

Oh my god.
I have to go to bed in about a half an hour.
Thats just
Cruel.

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Anyone know any good fiction or non fiction books about someone in a mental hospital? (shopping pics) - Mood:Good
Friday January 16 20095:57:46 PM |
My Christmas card to mudassar got returned to sender Address unknown. No such number. No such zone.

What in the heck does the third to last thing say?

Bath and body works on clearance, hells yea!!
Also some hair dye and ear buds


Hair whatnot
Pink DVD!! Good concert


Hoodie


Slippers

Books! I wanted some light young adult angsty reading
And cookies


There are 72 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Can`t i just have ONE NIGHT? Just one f*cking night where i don`t have be insane. - Mood:Good
Friday January 16 20093:28:27 AM |
Why can i not drating close my eyes without feeling like i'm gonna jump out of my skin

without wanting to punch a brick wall, without wanting to scream and tear away at myself, cover myself in blood & scars

without wanting to throw glass as hard as i possibly can just to revel in the shattering, & swim in the shards

why can't i sit still and watch tv and go to bed and fall asleep without the pounding in my ears, the taunting on repeat in my head, the drowning, the implosion the need to feel pain the fight against myself to hold onto whatever i can,.....no let go, scream hit walls, tear yourself apart until theres just red and no more skin showing.... no just breathe..... no go fly into a wall because any other pain isn't enough to satiate the screaming in your head.

God it would feel so good, god it would feel so f*cking good just do it, just do it, quite whining about it & just

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