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Wheres the SS wishlist? - Mood:Good

Sunday December 14 20084:41:37 AM |

Maybe i'm blind but i can't find the wishlist and i stupidly forgot to copy what my SS person wanted

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Its episode #24 in "nicoleslove has lost her marbles" - Mood:Good

Sunday December 14 20082:34:55 AM |

Ahhhhhhh Its the same old crippling horrid feeling only now i don't have any RDs, RAs or UP to go running too. And i can't Si. I'm pretty sure i'm gonna die. 43 more days. Someone tell me how to bleed without having to lie or hide it.

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I am highly disappinted in Rascal Flatts - Mood:Good

Saturday December 13 20084:56:19 PM |

I got all excited, i got a message saying they were playing a concert near me. i was all and stuff So i clicked. And saw their opening act. Jessica Simpson. Jessica Simpson?! WTF! I love rascal Flatts. LOVE LOVE. But not enough to sit through Jessica Simpson. Actually thats a lie, i would still completely go except i have no one to go with. I like seeing the opening acts though Just put a disgusted bummer cloud over my day.

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If you want a christmas card gimme your address - Mood:Good

Friday December 12 200810:06:25 PM |

PM Its YTer inspired this year

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Oh you poor little RAs. I may look sweet and innocent now. - Mood:Good

Friday December 12 200812:16:42 PM |

I'm moved into my new res building The moving people knocked at 11am and woke me up but they were just saying i had 30 minutes. So. yea. Poor little RAs here. I'm a nightmare yo. The crazy girl is never well received. Sucks too. Cuz i am a lovely person just exhausting. And needy. Ahh i will never be liked. Its okay. I seriously feel kinda bad for these people I know what i am like. I'm a whole lotta paperwork. Time to rearrange all the furniture.

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I really wanna talk to people and YT is letting me down - Mood:Good

Friday December 12 20082:06:56 AM |

just saying. i wish i had someone to chat on the phone with while i pack. Makes packing/cleaning so much less horrible. I miss the boy i once had. i can't even go walk outside and cry about it into the snow because i have to pack I have SO much packing to do. they are coming at 11:30 tomorrow morning. theres no way. i want my boy back. I gotta tell you. Its really hard to concentrate on a task when your screaming and going insane in your head. my hair is doing weird things i think its like.. doing a mary tyler moore flip thing. by itself. its scaring me. so who wants to chat with me while i pack? I have to warn you. i am a very hyper perky high octave fast talking rambler or am i going to have to stick to listening to rascal flatts as i pack

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Quickly, name me some christmas songs - Mood:Good

Thursday December 11 20088:53:39 PM |

and who they are by. your favs that is. i'm trying to make a youtube christmas playlist and i've run out fo songs/ singers

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Someone just "might could"ed and i almost cried (weepy girly journal) - Mood:Good

Thursday December 11 20086:13:00 PM |

Yes i'm being a journal whore today, hush. BF. Gone. Now all this poo reminds me of him. Most i'm ready for and am just like then move on. But someone just used the phrase might could. which he always used and i'd laugh at him for it every time. and i felt like i was gonna die. God i miss him. But i'm too messed up for him anyway. Is there anything like that in your life? Where a phrase or ..thingy reminds you of a ex gf/bf, passed on friend/relative. and just cuts you to your soul.

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My room smells like sex - Mood:Good

Thursday December 11 20085:28:15 AM |

My hair is beyond a mess. i wore a hat yesterday night after i showered so it was bad before i went to bed. Then i woke up with morning hair, put on another hat, came home, took off hat and put hair in some kind of weird origami hair tie so i could go dance. Took hair out of tie, back in hat. Then out of hat.... then back into hat to go for walk outside. and now its out. and scary as hell i shall shower tomorrow when i get up. Its only been 24 hours since i last showered. but my hair looks like its been through a war. I am no further packing Thats it! Tomorrow i do nothing but pack!!! and YT

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No one is getting anything from me for christmas!!!! - Mood:Good

Wednesday December 10 20089:05:15 PM |

Except my YT ss cuz thats just rude. and i don't wanna be that girl whos name gets thrown around as a stiffer for years to come i don't feel like getting anything else for anyone though. How ungiving and unfestive of me I feel like i have no one fun to buy for anymore. who i'm supposed to give poo to: mom sister aunt gram gramp stepdad i miss my best friend. he was always fun to buy for. My aunt wants me to burn her a cd, i'm getting my gramp a shirt from the college i go to, i'm sewing my gram a pillow, i got my stepdad a cd of bird sounds. my sister i got sephora crap. How boring. I should have signed up for SS under this name and an alter like i do every year so i could send out two gifts

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I`m pushing my luck with all these emo type journals on YT but lets be optimistic and say its the last one - Mood:Good

Wednesday December 10 20083:07:10 PM |

Hi If you've been following my drama.. then you're well informed. If not. Um yea. Where was i going with that. Anyway, HI! cutter here, but more than cutter girl is is about to lose her drating mind. So i can't take this poo anymore. And i was thinking about telling my RD since i know i won't get my ass to the counseling center by myself, but if i tell him, he'll force me drat up, yes. usefully though? yes. anyway. my question to you YT, is how in the hell do i word that to my RD?? I refuse to walk in there and go "uh, hi, REALLY wanna cut myself and its eating me alive" But. i can't think of what exactly to say. *please let the nice helpful people of YT be on today as opposed to unhelpful.* normally i don't care which kind of YT enters my thread, i just rant to rant i don't care who reads it. But i could use some honest to god real advice at the moment.

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If you were to commit YTicide by Mod how would you go about it? - Mood:Good

Tuesday December 09 20083:29:08 PM |

I think i'd take others down with me. i could. pornicide is so.. anti climatic. how would you?

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So.... whatcha doing? - Mood:Good

Tuesday December 09 20083:10:58 AM |

I'm bored. And lonely. So pretend to be my friend for a minute would ya? i should be writing an essay, final essay, really big part of my grade essay, that due tomorrow. But you know what. I don't f*cking care. So i'm not thinking its going to get written. I REALLY wanna go for a walk outside. But its cold, and theres snow. and i shouldn't. I kinda got somewhere packing. Kinda. Its hard to pack when you don't know when you're going to move. I'm not sure what i'm gonna need again before i leave. I really wanna go f*ck with the cops. But somewhere, wayyyyy in the back of my mind i think i hear something saying thats not the brightest idea. But maybe i'm just hearing things. So. Whatcha doing?

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Ok its getting to me. ignore this, seriously, and pretend its not me, cuz its not me - Mood:Good

Monday December 08 20088:32:58 PM |

Sorry. a TMI crazy rant. But i have no one to tell this poo to anymore. I have this drating craving, urge to cut the poo out of my forearms, which normally just knowing i could would make it lessen. But i can't. i'm going home in a few days, i can't go home with cut up arms, but GOD i want to and i can't release it because i can't do it which adds to the crazy impulsive feeling and i was gonna go sit in the shower until i'm so much of a prune it feels weird but i really wanna bring a blade in with me but i flocking can't so i'm stuck curled up on my floor thinking who the drat can i call and tell as this poo to to try to lessen it so its not all drating in me and theres drating no one i can call up crazy. who the drat would want a crazy girl calling them telling them how she wants her arms to run blood but can't, not making any sense and being a burden. i had a dream last

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Damn i`m in a terrible mood - Mood:Good

Monday December 08 20085:29:27 PM |

I feel like screaming at everyone, bitching out anyone who comes in my path and severely beating anyone who talks to me. And telling everyone to get the f*ck away from me and go away. But thats not really problem since i haven't seen a soul all day. But it means i have no outlet for my being bitchy to everyone. theres no one to be bitchy to. f*cking finals. Going home in about 4 days. i can't even f*cking SI to release this pent up whatnot, they'll see it when i go home. Which just builds up more poo. I just realized i have no food. and the campus cafe is closed. great. i'll just turn to anorexia to abuse myself. but is it anorexia if i have no choice to not eat?

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What should I wear to go for a walk for about an hour in 11 degree weather? - Mood:Good

Monday December 08 20082:20:05 AM |

Theres snow. Its 11 degrees. its not snowING at the moment. i can't tell if theres wind. I was thinking 7 layers of pants, 2 layers of fuzzy socks, 6 shirts, winter coat, 2 gloves, hand warmers inside, two hats and a hood. whatcha think?

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Puff the magic dragon lives by the sea.. and frolicks in the autumn mist in a land called.. - Mood:Good

Sunday December 07 20082:29:22 PM |

Yea. Realized i'm not so sure about the lyrics to that song anyways. One more week of finals, then i have to go home i don't wanna. but then i get to buy and send my SS gift!!!! i'm excited. i hate that i can't christmas shop until after the 15th. I am NOT a last minute person. Its driving my chi up a wall. moms here

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Um. I went to bed and it was dark. I woke up.. and its dark... - Mood:Good

Saturday December 06 20085:46:37 PM |

SO uncool. My week of paper writing, dance rehearsals late into the night, performances and non stop doing poo all week caught up to me i suppose. but i don't like waking up into darkness. it throws off my chi. I was supposed to be cleaning out my room all day today. Guess i'll be doing that all night then I wish yall could have been at my performance it didn't go perfectly but GOD that was fun and i think it went well enough to have not sucked. Griffin did you make it?? gimme a minute and i'll upload pictures!!

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Anyone have any knowledge about Sigg bottles? - Mood:Good

Saturday December 06 20082:14:03 AM |

I bought one. say 'make love not landfills' i'm cold. i wanna make hot chocolate. if i make the hot cocoa then pour it in there am i gonna die from don't-put-hot-liquid-in-a-sigg-bottle poisoning?

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Its a "help me out while i`m doing this, then i`ll delete it` thread. unless it turns into some kind of crazy cool party - Mood:Good

Friday December 05 20081:39:07 AM |

But first, help writing essay. brain fried. "However, there were some parts of life that were a ________ facing women, no matter their race, class or location" looking for a word/phrase like 'common thread' but i can't use that cuz i used to already

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I think i sucked. - Mood:Good

Thursday December 04 200811:56:25 PM |

I think my solo sucked. Though i wish i could record my thoughts while dancing an improv piece. They are hilarious. "Oh my god this is probably boring, i should throw in a trick. wait, i don't know any tricks! well. do a jump or something!! i can't jump very well! and i have bad knees. just jump.... ok, you're on the floor now you can smooth that over, make it flow!.. ok get off the floor. LOOk UP! don't look at the floor.. they look bored. do another trick.. didn't we already have this discussion... holy f*ck how long is this damn song????????? do a time filler so you can think of what to do next... BREATHE." piece i actually like tomorrow!! hopefully that will kick ass. GRIFFIN YOU BETTER BE THERE

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Oh my god i`m so nervous - Mood:Good

Thursday December 04 20081:02:00 PM |

Dance performance tonight Holy poo. its only 1pm and i'm already shaking nervous thats not good performance is at 7:30pm *cries* What if i suck? What if i forget the timing of elianahs? which is entirely possible, i don't know it that well. What if my solo is horridly off balance? what if i'm not in the right 'zone' to make poo up off the top of my head?? *cries* i really don't wanna suck. and i have so much other poo to do!! i stil haven't decided on a frickin song hold me.

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i`m so happy to be on a break i`m actually reading through newbie threads and not wanting to scratch my eyes out - Mood:Good

Thursday December 04 200812:20:50 AM |

i have 7 minutes left. 20 minutes are not long when put into break status. Gimme suggestions of what to do with my 7 minutes. er. 6 now.

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This is the "Nicole is losing her f*cking mind" journal. Enter at your own risk. - Mood:Good

Wednesday December 03 20085:04:17 PM |

UAGHAUGAHUAGHAUGHA AUGHAUGAHAGUAGHAUAGH AUAGHA! Oh my God. Breathe. Breathing. I'm breathing. I am seriously going to go jump off the admission building. I couldn't fall asleep last night, i was writing a paper all night til 4am, then couldn't sleep. Went to class today til 2pm, then took a shower, had dance rehearsal til 5pm. I have an african dance class from 6-8pm where he runs us into the ground THEN I have a different rehearsal from 8-10pm THEN i have to stay up all fricking night and write a 6 page paper. THEN tomorrow i have classes all f*cking day, then a performance at night and the same thing friday as thursday. I'm just going to slit my wrists and get it over with. save everybody some trouble.

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Someday I will learn not to leave papers til the last minute. - Mood:Good

Wednesday December 03 20082:21:41 AM |

Okay. SO this 4-6 page paper on a book i haven't read is due tomorrow at noon. Do I: Write the thing all night, hand it in on time, possibly, get no sleep. problems: i have classes tomorrow. I have dance rehearsal at 3-4:30 then another intense class class from 6-8pm then i have to rehearse my solo later that night and possible have to run another girls piece i'm in after that. No sleep +doing all that =DEATH. Other choice is to do what i can now, go to bed at like 4am, not hand it in, get marked off for it for turning it in late. problem is, then when do i write it??? i'm busy all day, and night tomorrow. I'm even busier thursday and i may have a few hours on friday afternoon but even then.. I'm an idiot. I just had a week off. I'm an idiot.

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