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Male, 37 years old
Manassas, VA, Southern US

  Offline - Last On: 19hrs ago

85 Buddies
86 Subscribers
32,768 Profile Views
94,533 Posts | Member Since: 9/15/2001
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(No profile music for Kepi)

Interests: Music / Movies / Philosophy / Religion / Video Games
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:4/29/1981 (37 Years Old)
IM Type: (Decline to State) IM Name: DC Upstart
Occupation: Frustrated Hero
Marital Status: Dating
Sexual Preference: Straight
Religion: Christian
Politics: Liberal
Fav. Movie: Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
Fav. TV Show: N/A
Fav. Book: Dune
Fav. Song: Streetlight Manifesto - Would you Be Impressed?
Fav. Food: Sushi
Fav. Car: Anything with shark fins.
Theme 'Skully Kepi' created by Kepi
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Boxing Day. - Mood:Hopeful
Tuesday December 26 20068:33:37 PM |
So, today was our celebration of the traditional Canadian "Boxing Day". Initially, I was a bit confounded as to how, exactly, I would celebrate such a holiday. See, the thing is, I'm not Canadian, so I was at a disadvantage.

Initially, I thought, "Well, why not just box a man?" However, I quickly realized that I was not living in the barbarac and untamed Canadas, and that I was, infact, living in the civilized U.S. of A. And this, of course, meant that I could not just have a consentual fight between two men, but would have to wait until such a time as someone had a pair of sneakers that I wanted before I could resort to violence.

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The revolution don`t have any distribution... - Mood:Good
Monday December 25 20065:02:43 PM |
I have beer, I saw my family, I put on about 10 pounds in ham and quiche... I'd say that's about as good a day as I'm capable of having anymore... So rock'n'roll.
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Aligators are really cool and all, but they can be real DICKS when you try to ride `em. - Mood:Good
Monday December 25 20061:51:11 AM |
Anyways, Merry Christmas YT. Hope all your dreams come true or whatever.

Have fun, and don't drink TOO much egg nog.

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I got a big book of space today... - Mood:Good
Saturday December 23 20066:25:19 AM |
It definitely has helped distract me from these feelings of impending unsettlingness related to the timespan between december 25th and January first.

Disturbances in the force don't matter as much when you're looking at galaxies, you know?

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I hate this place part 15 billion 72, the sequel to the prequel, or some sh*t like that. - Mood:Good
Friday December 22 20063:42:37 PM |
Dear Business owners & other smiley assh*les, until you've finally figured out that we need to have a rotation in working hours so that the standard business hours are flooding this area with unnecessary traffic, do not let days before holiday weekends be half days.

I'm saying this because there are many people in this area that work 7-3 or 8-4 who are NOT going to be getting off early, and, when compounded with all the people who took off today and all the people who're going out to do last minute holiday shopping and all the people who decided to visit for the holidays and all the people who just decided to go driving because they're assh*les... It makes it ass impossible to get around to the point where they will be getting home at the same time as if you had NOT let them off early. That is cruel both to them, and to people who have to use the roads who are not out early, clogging the streets like a bunch of ass cow herders. Instead, it would be much wiser to hold them unt

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Hmmm... When booze won`t do. - Mood:Good
Thursday December 21 20063:11:06 PM |
I need a generic gift for tomorrow. My stock generic gift in the past has been alcohol of a nice stock. But this is work, so giving out booze would be unacceptable. I suck at getting gender neutral, completely non-specific gifts because I generally regard them as garbage. I don't want to do the gift card route, because that's just lazy. This sh*t is frustrating.

I've also decided that after christmas I'm going to buy or make myself a full sized viking helmet, because on new years, when I'm completely sh*t faced, I'm going to want to point a sword northward and scream "ONWARD TO DESTINY!"... Because... Well, 2007 is filling me with a generalized sense of optomistic forboding... Which is both bad and good.

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2007 makes me nervous. - Mood:Hopeful
Thursday December 21 20061:56:27 AM |
You ever think that fate has the capacity to drudge up history just to like... put you in a place where you can't avoid it's merciless grasp?

Ever feel like the universe didn't give a sh*t if you were wearing a top hat or not when you made those oaths?

Ever get the feeling that you're about to turn a corner, feel like a HUGE ASS because you weren't hit with a bus like you were expecting, and instead find what you knew all along should have been?

I'm not sure what it's going to do... But I think that 2007 is going to be interestingly embarrassing.

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So today was sad and fun at the same time... - Mood:Good
Wednesday December 20 20069:01:17 PM |
The Captain for my center is retiring... Which sucks, because he was a really GOOD captain. He's also the SOLE reason that I kept my job because HE had faith in me and was always an encouragement. And so like... I'm glad he got to retire, but f*ckin' HELL, man... He was awesome as a captain.

I mean, any guy who is just really genuine and gung ho about promoting a place and getting the best for everyone is RARE to find, and the next Captain will have big shoes to fill, at least in my mind.

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Yar, this be impractical. - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 19 20068:47:34 PM |
So work gave me a gold coin today for the commemoration of our new police station.

My initial reaction was, and still stands as "THIS IS AWESOME! Uhhh... Whaddaidowidit?"

Most people said "Oh, I just put them in my jewelery box." So, based on that information, I know that... 1) I cannot do that, for I don't OWN a jewelery box and 2) there will probably be more of them in the future, so I need to figure out what the f*ck to do with my gold coin.

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That`s right, Verizon DOESN`T want my money, apparently... - Mood:Good
Monday December 18 20063:11:55 PM |
So, I had this thing set on autopay because I didn't want to deal with it anymore... Which is awesome. And it worked for a while.

Then, I got a new debit card, because there was some kind of security problem with my old one... So Verizon informed me via text ONE TIME that it wasn't working, and so I went online to fix it.

Now, it has never texted me again, mind you... However Twice in the last two months, I've gotten calls from verizon informing me my account is overdue. The FIRST time, I was like "Well, I thought I had fixed that, could you fix it for me and make it auto debit", and she said "yes"... SO I thought that was all taken care of...

So I got another lovely call today (and I love how they do this where they call, and you pick up because it's a phone and that's what you do and there's nobody there, and so you call the number back and they're like "where the f*cks our money bitch?"), And I explained to the girl on the line that I hav

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I don`t mean to be a spam whore, but I`m being kept up by some thoughts circling around, and I have something I`ve gotta say to someone, but I don`t know her anymore, so I`m just writing them here. - Mood:Good
Sunday December 17 200611:29:32 PM |
So really, don't read this, because those things are "f*ck you".

F*ck you for using me. F*ck you for treating my like sh*t. F*ck you for putting me in a position where I couldn't change things if I tried. F*ck you for eating my joy and leaving me with nothing but a big black hole in my soul that does nothing but consume and destroy. F*ck you for selling me out for the minor charms of a second rate city. F*ck you for not even trying. F*ck you for doing all the Goddamn things to me that I should have done to you, but didn't because even though you never had respect for me, I always had that and thensome for you. F*ck you for never listening. F*ck you for never really caring. F*ck you for every shy smile, every wasted breath, every wasted second and every half-hearted pleasantry.


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Whee, I`m getting gray hair! - Mood:Good
Sunday December 17 20069:25:49 PM |
Thank God for that. You've NO clue how sick of brown I am, and how sick of colors other than gray I am. I'm totally pleased, plus it's coming in on the sides, so I'll have some of those grayish racing stipes.
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Somebody get that ref a gun! - Mood:Good
Saturday December 16 20063:01:32 AM |
So me and my old roomate decided to get together tonight and play some Smackdown! vs. Raw, as is our tradition. And as is our tradition we did a handicapped match to start things off where the two of us pile on a computer character we made to be... basically... the most obnoxious character EVER. And we lost due to Disqualification because the ref just got in the middle of our raging beat down (as happens about 50% of the time).

But the rest of the night we realized something... All our matches were no DQ matches for the rest of the night. The aferage match length went from 12 minutes to 30 because of how much time we spent f*ckin' that bitch up.

And it took a serious toll on us, too... To the point where... Honestly... We'd have lost 66% of our health by the time we actually got to fighting EACHOTHER.

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Smackin` motherf*ckers right in the face with the butt of an axe handle. - Mood:Overwhelmed
Tuesday December 12 200611:49:05 PM |
Well, boys and girls, it's time for Kepi's weekly plus one day tradition/tirade/brutal battle of will of staying up way past his bedtime to flip his f*cked up sleep schedule around so he can be at work at 6PM to 6AM tomorrow instead of 6AM to 6PM like he normally works.

As going with all other weeks, this week will be halmarked by:

- moodswings due to lack of sleep

- frustration at my inability to make healthy decisions regarding when I sleep.

- futalistic mysogenistic ranting.

- Viking like oaths

- Absurdity

- Commedic levels of delusions of grandeur

- Wrath of Kahn misquotes

Parental discretion isn't advised because children need to explore the world on their own and not be stiffled by a bunch of stuck up f*cks who want to feed their children bull and keep them blind and happy.

Also, moving to Chile and herding goats for a living is starting to sound really good at this hour of insomniorama.

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I just came here for some fuuuuun, now it looks like I`m the only whaaaahhhooonn! - Mood:Good
Monday December 11 20068:09:54 PM |
On the topic of bars, Bars should be:

- A place you can have decent conversation with your friends.

- A place where there is a juke playing good songs at a moderate level.

- Dark

- A gentle blend of clean and dingy.

- Serving good ass food.

- A place that serves no less than 10 beers of varying styles.

- A place where you can play a game of darts or pool.

A bar SHOULDN'T be:

- A place where chicks play bar It girl games.

- A place where guys ENCOURAGE bar It girl games.

- A place where the music is so loud that you can't hear yourself think.

- A place where there is much more lighting than the neon signs you have in your bar.

- A place where you go to dance... That's what clubs are for.

- A place that serves more than 2 pilsners on tap and 4 total.

- A place where you go to meet strangers.

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A night with Walt The Randall Randall - Mood:Exhausted
Sunday December 10 20063:27:00 AM |
A night with Walt the Randall Randall
So anyway, I went to everyone's favorite almost but not quite star of Clerk's birthday show. Met up with Gina and watched Walt and Paul rock out with some other guys calling themselves Madrone. And that was fair enough and it was an aight time.

Let it be said that Walt the Randall Randall is quite proficient with his guitar and actually used tapping technique appropriately and unironically, which is a rare skill to have these days. He is also quite proficient at synchronizing and playing solos and wearing his guitar rather high on his chest so that if he decided to get naked we'd all see his wang and all the other things that lead guitarists are known for.

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To kiss or not to kiss... THAT is the question. - Mood:Good
Friday December 08 200611:51:59 PM |
So I'm going to see my friend Walt the Randall Randall tomorrow and when Walt and I were in college together, I used to kiss this dude. A lot. Because he was homophobic, and as far as I know, the only cure for things and stuff is torturing the everloving piss out of Walt the Randall Randall. And it was a real group effort, too. I think we suprise pecked that f*cker more times than I've made mopey journals.

So the question is "do I do that again... In public, or do I just let that stay in college, or do I pee on his shoes just to proclaim dominance?

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Talk about an emotional ambush. - Mood:Good
Thursday December 07 20066:22:02 PM |
Ugggghhh... So I finally got it all figured out and taken care of all I convinced myself that I can afford, manage, and deserve all of the changes and increases that my current state allows for and needs... And I was doing good and then all of the sudden, my brain box takes a tangental shift over to "And it might be enough improvement to finally land a (mythical, I know) intelligent, steady, stable and interesting female... And BOOM, my life suddenly feels like it's been destroyed all over again. It's such a drastic change it makes my head spin, literally.

And I mean, I dunno what to DO with this sh*t anymore. I'm to the point where this issue has continually raked my ass over the coals SO many f*ckin' times that I don't even WANT a girl... Because they really are all the same, and that leaves me with NOTHING but misery... But I feel like I need one just to board up this GAPING hole in my emotional defenses. And it really is just a whole world of sh*t.

So how you doi

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No matter how much I think... - Mood:Good
Thursday December 07 200612:53:24 PM |
I cannot think of a better and cooler idea than the spitting cobra. It's as if God himself said "And lo, let their be pranks." I mean, if I were God, I'd send everybody straight to hell for not putting a spitting cobra in at least 1 person's stocking this year.
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Uggghhh... I almost went to work on the wrong six. - Mood:Good
Tuesday December 05 200611:34:12 AM |
Seriously. I woke up, thought I had missed my alarm (that I hadn't set because I didn't have to be at work until 6PM), and I got up and started like... Not really running, because I couldn't on 2 hours of sleep... But definitely defiantly hobbling around... And it was 5:55 and I was like... How the f*ck am I going to explain THIS??? And then I realized... I don't have to be in until another 12 hours.

That sucked, and I definitely don't want to do it again.

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Back to work again. - Mood:Good
Sunday December 03 20067:01:33 PM |
As far as "propogating my worthless existance" goes, work is the most entertaining of all the activities included in that. Though right now I'm having a hard time with my radio training because the f*ckin' triple super secret code numbers must, of course, be said so fast and so muttered that nobody but the person who said it can decipher what's being said. I mean, it's clear I'm having a problem, but will they lemme get used to their voices at least? F*ck no. It's all blahbitty blah-bitty blah... I'm gonna need back up! And it's like "Who the f*ck are you?"

But all this sh*t beats, 100%, standing in line or waiting for ANYTHING, and that's 90% of how I sustain my worthless existance otherwise. F*ck that sh*t. And I ain't gotta do it for 3 more days.

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So I just got my car. - Mood:Good
Friday December 01 200611:29:44 PM |
Downside. Carpayment.

But that's the only downside, fortunately. I thought that I was going to have to get a piece of sh*t... But I got put in a decent car (2004 Nissan Sentra w/ 35000 on it) for about what I needed my payment to be. My insurance went up a little bit, which is fine... And I really had no clue that my credit was good enough to do that, which was my biggest fear.

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I used to pretend that I gave a f*ck, now I do give a f*ck a little to much. - Mood:Depressed
Friday December 01 20061:57:57 PM |
So I had my car checked out for the emissions blah, blah, blah... And it's definitely not good. Fourteenhundreddollarsnotgood. And that's more money than the car is worth. So that means that I'm buying a new car today, instead of in January like I wanted to, which is NOT good, because I'm gonna hafta borrow the money for a down payment from my folks, and that's just uncomfortable...

So this is going to combine 4 of my least favorite things: shopping, durress, debt, and my parents.

Plus I already used up all my good karma points getting a free new cell after my last one broke, and I'm just completely and absolutely f*cked.

I really just wish someone would douse me in gasoline, set me ablaze so I can get this whole "paying my dues and a lot of yours because I'm not a frickin' profitable business owner" portion of my life out of the way.

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I got a new phone for free! - Mood:Good
Thursday November 30 20069:11:15 PM |
Considering my last phone was a dinosaur phone, this one is completely wicked awesome. Plus, after I mail in this rebate, it will be completely and totally free, minus the fee for transfering my phonebook.

Unfortunately, all that money will have to go to fixing my car so it'll pass emmissions. Which is incredalame, because I intended to buy a new car in january, so this is like... an assbunch of money that I'll wind up basically just throwing away.

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Only the Scandanavians... - Mood:Good
Thursday November 30 20061:02:23 AM |
So... I've been reading a lot of Norse myths lately... And, aside from being beautifully written and interesting and fun and all of that... I've noticed a disturbing trend. Whenever Thor is in a story, it kinda goes like this: "Thor (or the God's at large) were about to be tricked by (a) <insert Giant, Dwarf, Elf, Hel, Loki, Man, Woman, Barnyard Animal, Eagle with a Hawk standing between it's eyes (and yes, that is a REAL being according to Norse Myth)>, but then Thor hit <insert him, her, it, them> in the face with a hammer, and all was right with the world." Half the time, it happens in stories that Thor isn't even in, and the other half, you feel kinda disappointed because he didn't.

And that's what disturbs me. In this scenario, I LIKE that predictability. I like that every single issue could be resolved with smackin' some bitch in the face with a hammer.

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