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Male, 265 years old
Western US


43 Buddies
67 Subscribers
21,440 Profile Views
73,129 Posts | Member Since: 5/19/2009
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Interests: Nudism / Drinking / Nudism / Drinking / Nudism
Homepage: (None)
Birthday:4/7/1753 (265 Years Old)
IM Type: (Decline to State) IM Name:
Occupation: cleaning bird sh*t out of cuckoo clocks
Marital Status: (Decline to State)
Sexual Preference: Straight
Religion: Agnostic
Politics: (Decline to State)
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Active Journal Entries | Archived Journal Entries

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The guy in the next office - Mood:Surprised
Tuesday May 22 20183:45:12 PM |
I could always hear him...humming or some sh*t over there, but it was really sh*tty humming. When I first heard it I thought he was getting a massage and was like "uuhhhmmmmm hmmm hmmmmmm" or something.

Then I was convinced he was sleeping and that he kind of whimpers/snores.

Today I finally confirmed that he has in earbuds and is humming along to whatever sh*tty music he's listening to.


There are 3 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Hottie Thread - Mood:Horny
Monday February 05 20185:53:01 PM |
Let's have a hottie thread. Post 'em.

Any of you 80s fags remember the singer Laura Branigan? I had no idea she was hot.

There are 1000 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Think Morrie tells his wife everything? - Mood:Good
Monday January 08 201810:49:41 PM |

My boss FINALLY decided to whack my co-worker. I've talked about him on here before. He's terrible and deserves to get fired. He's been getting away with unimaginable sh*t for years now.

I've never been so happy to see someone get fired before.

There are 29 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

My friend`s cat looks like the "cat no banana" cat - Mood:Good
Thursday December 14 20179:44:46 PM |
Cat no banana:

A friend from high school posted her cat on fb the other day:

There are 19 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

What is this called again? - Mood:Hopeful
Friday November 10 20173:28:52 PM |
Where people take popular songs and make a (almost comical) old style swing version of it?

Like this but I've heard many where it's a guy singing and he has a crooner voice.

There are 17 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Checkbook registers?? - Mood:Good
Sunday November 05 201710:53:23 AM |
I don't use checks. I pay all my bills online. I still use those old handwritten registers to keep track of how much money is in the account, though.

What do you guys use? Excel spreadsheet? Some kind of hipstery app on your phone? If any of you say "nothing, I just know roughly how much money I have" I'm going to lose my sh*t.

There are 89 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Do you guys know what a "courtesy flush" is? - Mood:Disgusted
Friday September 08 201712:49:51 PM |
If so, do you use them?

I swear the entire 2nd floor of our office smells like diarrhea...and I'm pretty sure it was my boss.

There are 87 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Predictive text lulz. - Mood:Spastic
Monday August 07 20172:24:06 PM |
It still amuses me how the phone learns the kinds of sh*t I typically say.

Some funny ones I've noticed in the past week:

I type "he's" and it wants to follow with "about worthless".

I type "I'm" and it wants to follow with "still f*cking here".

Share yours. Play the predictive text middle button game if you want.

There are 44 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Post in here and I`ll post a picture for you... - Mood:Good
Monday June 05 201710:26:35 PM |
...that I have saved on my computer or on google drive.

The picture may or may not have meaning.

There are 141 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Do you think I`m weird? - Mood:Confused
Tuesday May 30 20172:52:31 PM |
No, man, seriously -

I've always had this thing where I'm actually responsible and do what I'm supposed to do, when it's supposed to be done.

The longer I spend in my career, the more I notice how unusual this is. I don't work with derelicts, either. Many of my co-workers are licensed engineers with graduate degrees.

Too much bullsh*tting, procrastinating, forgetting stuff, taking forever to take action or reply to clients, etc.

But this really is a great company. It's very successful.

I just can't decide if most people are sh*tty employees in general, or if I'm some kind of hyper-workaholic.

Even back in elementary school when other kids were f*cking off and playing I was getting my homework done . Only after that would I go play., man, seriously - am I weird?

There are 121 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

F*ckin` interns, man. - Mood:Disgusted
Monday May 15 20175:02:35 PM |

They hire so many of these f*ckers. Like 5 new ones showed up today. I was praying that I wouldn't get one assigned to me because then I'd have to keep them busy, teach them sh*t, and fix all their f*ckups.

In essence, it would just be something else to slow me down.

Well, I didn't exactly get one, but my boss got one, which basically means I got one. FML.

There are 83 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

See my heart I decorate it like a grave - Mood:Confused
Monday April 24 201711:02:43 AM |
So I had this dream that they made me a mod (without even asking).

I got a PM from bird containing the "new mod welcome package" with modbot's password. It was something completely stupid like "bosh" or "cosh" or some sh*t.

There are 59 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I know this chick she lives down on melrose - Mood:Bored
Friday February 17 201711:49:20 AM |
Where are all of you fxcking cxnts?
There are 71 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

k, who`s good at photoshop - Mood:Mischievous
Monday January 30 20174:11:11 PM |
I would like highcat's face inserted over the cat's face in this pic:

There are 61 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

So I hear that Scarlett Johansson is single again - Mood:Confused
Wednesday January 25 20177:59:44 PM |
Skyfish is disappointed in the number of journals, so I thought I would add some content.

I swear I saw this guy today whose idea of a properly restrained car seat was holding the f*cking thing with one hand and steering with the other. And this was on a busy city freeway.

There are 26 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Poor bastard. Never knew how close he`d come to getting fired. - Mood:Good
Friday November 18 20162:37:41 PM |

"Forget about tonight."

Even if I told him he never would've believed me.

This is in reference to my co-worker. I like the guy on a personal level, but work-wise he's a train wreck. He's always dropping the ball on deadlines and goes days without showing up and no one even knows where he is. We're pretty laid back in regards to hours in the office, but this guy takes it to another level.

Yesterday some client called because he was left hanging for like a week. My boss was like, "yeah...I think he's done".

I think what saved his ass today is that he showed up. That doesn't change the fact that he's a f*ckup, though.

There are 79 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Monday September 26 20169:03:45 PM |
It's starting. Feel free to post anything here.

There are 302 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I love having interns - Mood:Happy
Monday August 22 201612:20:30 PM |
Seriously. Throughout my life I've so rarely had pee-ons I could pass menial tasks to.

Here, kid:
copy this
carry this
fix this


There are 38 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Are you superstitious? - Mood:Surprised
Tuesday July 12 201612:50:21 PM |
On one of my recent flights my seat was in row 14. I walked down the aisle, counting the rows...10, 11, 12....14.

There was no 13. I've flown a lot, but have never noticed this before, probably because I'd have to be seated in row 14 to actually notice it.

But f*cking seriously, no row 13? THAT many people are ridiculous enough about unlucky numbers for a plane to be labeled this way?

Do you have any superstitions? I promise I won't make fun of you.

There are 87 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I`m on a plane. I can`t complain. - Mood:Good
Monday July 11 201610:19:03 PM |
At this moment CuckingFunt is 32,000 feet in the air.

I paid five bucks for Internet access, so f*cking entertain me.

There are 37 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

goad me on - Mood:Spastic
Friday June 24 201611:35:09 PM |
I'm thinking of shaving my head. I've done it many times before, usually in the summer because it feels really good. Right now I just have regular short hair.

The thing is, I'm one of those lucky guys who isn't balding in the least. My hair has looked the same my entire adult life.

+ it's extremely comfortable
+ easy to maintain
+ I can wear a hat if I think I look dumb

- I look younger with hair
- I look handsomer with hair
- I feel like I "should" have hair ... because I have hair

There are 82 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

This might be controversial, but f*ck it - Mood:Confused
Thursday May 12 201610:14:27 PM |
So today after work I stopped to get gas. I went inside to get something to drink. I was waiting to pay and there was this guy in front of me pre-paying for $30 worth of gas, and...

...he literally did not know how to count.

I kept listening to the exchange between him and the cashier, and I just couldn't believe what was happening. I'd see him hand the cashier some money, and then the cashier would be like, "you said 30, right? okay, I need 5 more" and he'd hand her some more money and she'd go, "okay, now 3 more". This continued for a while.

The thing is, this guy DROVE. I saw him pull up. Are mentally retarded people actually allowed to drive? If someone was driving him around, I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but this was kind of scary.

There are 60 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Who would you look like if you`d been born the opposite sex? - Mood:Good
Monday March 21 20166:21:47 PM |

There are 56 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

Poor personal hygiene: I don`t get it. - Mood:Confused
Wednesday February 03 201612:54:09 PM |
I've had to share an office with this guy, and the thing is...he kind of stinks. He's usually not in the office much, so it's not a big deal. His hair is greasy and he dresses like a slob.

There's one other guy who looks homeless. He has a scraggly beard, never washes his clothes, and barely has any teeth.

I actually like these guys. They're both nice to talk to and intelligent. I just DON'T GET THIS. I mean, wtf?

There are 164 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

I found bgraham`s band - Mood:Good
Friday January 29 20162:00:18 PM |
There are 9 comments on this journal entry. View/Add Comments

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