http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm http://www.youthink.com/art/yt_logo_bub5.gif Sat, 7 Nov 2009 08:54:01 EST The 50 most recently posted jokes from YouThink.com. en-us http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543853 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543853 A bike can't stand on it's own because it's two-tired 2009-11-06T11:07:52-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543764 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543764 I went to the doctors this morning for my annual check-up, The doctor said I have to stop pleasuring myself. I Said andquot;Why?andquot; The doctor replied andquot;I'm trying to examine you!andquot; 2009-11-03T11:05:48-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543763 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543763 The rule of the tool, If the mass of the ass is proportional to the angle of the dangle, then the torque of the pork determines the heat of the meat. 2009-11-03T10:59:13-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543714 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543714 A robber breaks into a house in the middle of the night, as he goes to a radio, behind him he hears the words andquot;Jesus is watching you.andquot; He quickly turns off his flashlight. When a minute goes by he turns it back on and looks around though nobodies there. He continues going to the radio thinking it was just his mind. Then he hears again andquot;Jesus is watching you.andquot; He turns around and sees only a parrot. He asks the parrot andquot;Was that you?andquot; The parrot says andquot;Yes.andquot; The robber then asks the parrot andquot;What's your name?andquot; The parrot answers withandquot;Moses.andquot; The robber then asks andquot;What kind of a man names his parrot Moses?andquot; The parrot then says andquot;The same man who names his pitbull Jesusandquot;. 2009-11-02T17:40:44-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543682 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543682 What do you do if a blond throws a Grenade at you? pull the pin and throw it back! 2009-11-01T16:03:19-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543648 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543648 Two collingwood supporters jump off a cliff with their cars. Who wins? Society 2009-10-31T02:26:38-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543647 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543647 What do u say to a collingwood supporter with a job? I'll have fries with that thanks. 2009-10-31T02:24:22-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543614 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543614 On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked except for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out of the room himself. Twenty minutes passed and then he came back himself with a potato around his manhood. His wife gave him a weird look and then the husband replied, andquot;If you're going as a sour-puss, I'm going as a dictator.andquot; 2009-10-29T10:22:41-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543579 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543579 1. What kind of music do ghosts like? 2. Why did the ghost take his family on an elevator ride every day? 3. What do ghosts do when they want to start up a computer? 4. How did the ghost do at the comedy club? 5. What do you call a website for ghosts? 6. What is Casper's favorite sticky treat? 7. Where do baby ghosts come from? 8. Why did the ghost go to the doctor? 9. What would you get if you crossed a cocker spaniel, a French poodle, and a ghost? 10. Who protects the shores where spirits live? 11. What did the papa ghost say to his ghostly children? 12. What is a ghost's favorite direction? 13. Why couldn't the ghost ride the bus? 14. Why did the ghost rush home from school? 15. Why did the police officer arrest the ghost? 16. What do young ghosts call their moms and dads? 17. Where do little ghosts learn to yell andquot;BOO!andquot;? 18. Why are ghosts like newspaper? Ghost Riddles Answers- 1. Rhythm and boos. 2. To raise their spirits. 3. They boo-t it up! 4. He was a dead-knockout. 5. Bahoo or Yaboo! 6. Boo-ble gum. 7. Boo Genes. 8. To get a booster shot. 9. A cocker-poodle-boo! 10. The Ghost Guard. 11. Fasten your sheet belt. 12. Horror-zontal. 13. Because he didn't have exact chains. 14. To watch an afterghoul special on TV. 15. Because he didn't have a haunting license. 16. Transparent. 17. In noisery school. 18. Because they appear in sheets. 2009-10-28T15:25:16-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543540 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543540 A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is!” My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!” 2009-10-26T17:52:35-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543536 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543536 A man walks into a bar with his dog. The bartender say im soory but no dogs allowed. The man says this dog is special though, he can talk. The bartender says prove it. The dog says hello. The bartender is amazed! The man ask to watch the dog wile he goes the bathroom. The bartender says Hey dog, if i pay you $20 will you go over across the street and say something to the other bar. The dog says sure and goes outside. The man comes back and says wheres my dog? The bartender says hes outside. The man walks outside and sees his dog having sex with a poodle. The man says I knever seen youdo this before. The dog replys, Yeah and i never had $20 before! 2009-10-26T15:31:09-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543534 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543534 The neighbour of the beast! 2009-10-26T06:23:10-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543532 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543532 A man goes into a bar and sees a congressman drinking heavily. The man asks what's wrong and the congressman says, andquot;I'm having an affair with this beautiful young woman.andquot; The man doesn't understand why the congressman is so sad. He asks is there anything else that's wrong and the congressman replies, andquot;I won a million dollars, my house has a new home theater and I got a new Corvette for free.andquot; The man is now very puzzled and about to scream, andquot;If you got a million dollars, had an affair with a beautiful woman, a new Corvette AND a home theater, why the hell would you be sad?andquot; The congressman looked at the man as if he suddenly sobered up and said, andquot;My lawyer just called.andquot; 2009-10-26T03:27:21-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543480 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543480 Why don't the Klu Klux Klan like Mandamp;M's? Because they're multi-coloured! 2009-10-24T10:07:31-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543473 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543473 How do you sell your soul to Satan? Make an appointment with your lawyer. 2009-10-24T01:17:03-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543393 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543393 A man once bought the best phone ever. Everyone one who saw how it could work and how resistant it was were shocked at how great this phone was. Many people even said andquot;that phone is so good, you could even take a shower with it!andquot; due to it's immense resistance. One day, the man goes to his best friend and he says andquot;hey, this phone is great. Everyone says it's so good, I could even take a SHOWER with it! To bad I still haven't found the shower button......andquot; 2009-10-20T19:48:51-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543367 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543367 Mr. Johnson lives in a nursing home. One day, he goes up to his nurse and says, andquot;My penis died.andquot; The nurse just responded, andquot;Poor baby,andquot; before continuing down the hallway. The next day, the nurse comes in and sees Mr. Johnson walking around the hallway with no trousers or underwear on. andquot;Mr. Johnson!andquot; she says angrily. andquot;You told me your penis died!andquot; andquot;It did.andquot; he said. andquot;Today's the viewing.andquot; 2009-10-19T15:50:27-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543290 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543290 (This joke takes place in the 1800s, where robbers on horses were real) A banker on a train, when all of a sudden, he has to take a dump. Seeing as the next stop is over an hour away and there is no one else in the car with him, he sticks his butt out the window and proceeds to crap on the prairie. As he's doing this, two bandits on horses are riding by the train. One leans over to the other and says, andquot;You see the chubby guy? You slap him, and I'll take his cigar. 2009-10-16T15:38:43-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543270 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543270 Pea soup. What did you eat for lunch? Pea soup. What did you eat for dinner? Pea soup. What did you do all night? Pee soup! 2009-10-16T03:18:02-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543255 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543255 Why don't mexicans cross the border in more than groups of 3? Because it says no andquot;tresandquot; passing! (tres is spanish for 3). 2009-10-15T21:19:08-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543187 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543187 A guy goes to the doctor to complain about a problem he's having 'down there'. The doc asks him the nature of the problem and the guy explains his average day. andquot;I wake up and me and the wife make love. Then when I go to work there's a blonde girl on the train every day. Since we have the carriage to ourselves, we have sex. Then when I get to work, I have sex with my secretary.andquot; andquot;So what's the problemandquot; Says the doc. andquot;I'm not finished. I also have sex with my supervisor and then when I go home I have it off with the blonde girl again. And I always make love with my wife before we go to sleep.andquot; The doc says, andquot;I see. And the problem is?andquot; andquot;It hurts when I masturbate.andquot; 2009-10-12T15:26:59-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543183 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543183 Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mum!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other guy will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MUM!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.” 2009-10-12T12:04:27-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543182 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543182 Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks 2009-10-12T12:02:40-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543155 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543155 We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up! 2009-10-11T11:09:10-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543126 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543126 (Note- these are not meant to be offensive!) What do you do when there's an emo in your back yard with his hand blown off? Quit laughing and reload! A punk, a goth, and a metalhead are standing on the edge of a cliff. How can you tell which one's which? The goth is the one looking over the cliff, contemplating jumping. The metalhead is the one screaming andquot;JUMP!!andquot; and the punk is the one who pushes the both over. What is better than fifty emos nailed to one tree? One emo nailed to fifty trees! How do you starve a punk? Hide his food stamps under his work boots! How do you drive an emo crazy? Put him in a circular room and tell him to go cry in a corner! 2009-10-09T21:15:43-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543114 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543114 There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, andquot;That was a karate chop from Korea.andquot; The little guy thinks andquot;GEEZ,andquot; but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, andquot;That was a judo chop from Japan.andquot; So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!andquot; -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, andquot;When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears. 2009-10-09T10:41:50-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543113 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543113 Two fish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, andquot;You man the guns. I'll drive.andquot; What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels. Why do farts smell? So the deaf can enjoy them too. Two blondes walk into a building. I don't know why one of them didn't see it. 2009-10-09T10:22:39-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543089 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543089 A man walks into a doctor's office. The doctor notices a small bowler cap on the man's head. andquot;What seems to be the problem?andquot; asks the doctor. The man takes the cap off, and underneath is a frog. andquot;I dunno, doctor!andquot; exclaims the frog. andquot;It all started out as a wart on my butt!andquot; 2009-10-08T19:08:22-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543056 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543056 There was this man who was tired of dealing with his wife so he decided that he needed to hire a hitman. So he called up a few hitmen and they were charging to much but one guy told the man that there was a new guy named Artie and so he called him and he said that he would charge the man a $1 for the hit so he told Artie that his wife shopped at Safeway every Saturday. So on Saturday Artie was at Safeway and he saw a lady who matched the mans wife's description so he strangled her.Then he called the guy and said his wife was dead and the man told Artie that it was the wrong lady so he gave Artie another chance and the same thing happened but it wasn't the right woman so Artie told the man that if he didn't get the right lady this time he would pay the man his money back but this time he got the right person. Then the next day in the headlines of the newspaper it said andquot;Artie Chokes 3 for a $1 at Safeway.andquot; 2009-10-07T14:21:53-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543054 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543054 I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me until i had an Erikson, sucked me until my face went Orange, until I busted my Siemen all over her Nokias! 2009-10-07T11:27:19-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543023 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543023 One day in school, the teacher decides to play 20 questions. So the teacher says andquot;OK kids, I am thinking of something round, and redandquot; Little Suzy pipes up andquot;I know, it's a tomatoandquot;. andquot;No but you're thinking, it's an appleandquot; replies the teacher. So Little Johnny stands up, places his hand in his pocket and says andquot;I am holding onto something that is round, hard, and has a head on itandquot; andquot;Go to the principals officeandquot; says the teacher. andquot;No but you're thinkingandquot;, say Johnny, andquot;It's a quarterandquot; 2009-10-05T15:08:47-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543018 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=543018 Shoeblacker! 2009-10-05T12:58:38-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542971 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542971 Little Johnny was playing in the backyard. He saw a bee and killed it. His father saw it and scolded him,andquot;no honey for you for a month!andquot; After 2 hours, Little Johnny saw his dad tearing the wings of a butterfly and he told his dad,andquot;no butter for you for a monthandquot; after preparing dinner, his mom saw a cockroach and stepped on it. Little Johnny and his dad were watching and Little Johnny asked his dad,andquot;will you tell her or should i tell her?andquot; 2009-10-03T03:34:33-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542953 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542953 one time a blonde accedentily cut off her cats tail with her weed cutter, she quickly brought her cat to walmart. why did she do this? because walmart is the largest re-tailer in the world. 2009-10-01T21:51:57-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542950 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542950 Rodney was walking down the street. Genie bams out of nowhere. Rodney is so shocked! Genie- Hello, Rodney, You get 3 wishes, but whatever you wish for, your WORST enemy will get double. Rodney- Well, that's not fair. --( I wish for 5 million dollars. The genie gives him 5 million, and his enemy 10 million. Rodney- #2, I want a cool car! The genie gives him a cool car, and his enemy two cars. Rodney thought and thought. Rodney- OOH!! GENIE!! Scare me HALF to death! 2009-10-01T20:19:42-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542947 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542947 Bill and Sam were bungee-jumpers. They travelled the world for new places to try bungee jumping. They decided to go to Mexico. So they went to a place above a busy town. Bill attached Sam to the rope, and Down went Sam. When Sam came back up, Bill noticed that he had a few bumps on him. He was a bit uneasy, but dropped Sam again. When Sam came back up, he had even more bruises and scratches, and he was looking extremely dizzy. andquot;O my Gosh! What happened? Is the rope too long?,andquot; Biil exclaimed, concerned for his friend. andquot;No,andquot; Sam replied.andquot;The rope's fine. It's the people I don't get.andquot; andquot;By the way, Bill, what's a pinata?andquot; 2009-10-01T16:47:25-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542941 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542941 Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.' They got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine. They’re such jerks!!!!! 2009-10-01T12:10:13-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542908 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542908 One day a bear was chasing a rabbit then they bumped into a frog. Frog-congratulations you've found me you both get one wish Bear-I wish every bear in the forest but me was female Rabbit-I wish the bear was gay 2009-09-29T23:07:04-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542901 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542901 A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. andquot;I would like to buy this TV,andquot; she told the salesman. andquot;Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,andquot; he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, andquot;I would like to buy this TV.andquot; andquot;Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,andquot; he replied. andquot;Darn, he recognized me,andquot; she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. andquot;I would like to buy this TV.andquot; andquot;Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,andquot; he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, andquot;How do you know I'm a blonde?andquot; andquot;Because that's a microwave,andquot; he replied. 2009-09-29T22:15:02-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542875 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542875 What did one pirate say to the other pirate? How ARGH ya? 2009-09-28T15:12:35-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542718 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542718 How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her. 2009-09-22T00:05:36-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542700 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542700 What do you call a person addicted to both cocaine and marijuana? A Crack-Pot 2009-09-21T08:20:07-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542669 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542669 Little Johnny likes to gamble. One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city. Johnny's daddy thinks, andquot;I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling.andquot; So he calls the teacher and says, andquot;My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him.andquot; The teacher says OK, she can handle it. The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, andquot;Hi, my name is Johnny.andquot; She says yes I know who you are. Johnny smiles and says, andquot;I bet you ten dollars you've got a mole on your butt.andquot; The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet. She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole. That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why. So his dad calls the teacher and says, andquot;Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost.andquot; The teacher says, andquot;Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem.andquot; Johnny's dad laughs and says, andquot;No you didn't, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he'd see your ass before the day was over.andquot; 2009-09-20T12:22:24-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542651 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542651 A family had a dog. It eventually got sick and had to be put down. The mom tried to explain this to her son. andquot;Does that mean the dog will go to heaven?andquot; asked the boy. The mom said yes, and that the dog will get to be healthy again and will be able to chase squirrels, which was his favorite thing to do. The boy then said, very logically, andquot; So dog heaven must also be squirrel hell!andquot; 2009-09-19T22:11:39-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542609 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542609 You might be a redneck if your trailer has no heating so you use your hair dryer to heat up your room. You might be a redneck if all the ice in the ice dispenser in the freezer is all stuck together, then you use your hairdryer to thaw the ice from the outside. 2009-09-17T19:53:06-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542599 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542599 The Kindergarten children began to identify the flavors by their color- Red........................Cherry Yellow......................Lemon Green ....................Lime Orange ...............Orange Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste. The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.' One little girl looked up in horror, spat her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God! They're arse-holes! 2009-09-17T04:40:39-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542578 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542578 Woman- What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? Man- Definitely not! Woman- Why not? Don't you like being married? Man- Of course I do. Woman- Then why wouldn't you remarry? Man- Okay, I'd get married again. Woman- You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) Man- Yes, I would. Woman- (After a long pause) Would you sleep with her in our bed? Man- Where else would we sleep? Woman- Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her? Man- That would seem like the proper thing to do. Woman- And would you let her use my golf clubs? Man- She can't use them; she's left-handed. 2009-09-16T01:27:51-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542555 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542555 Once, there was a boy who loved to read. He read everything he could get his hands on, and loved going to his favorite book store. One day, the boy realized he had read everything the store had to offer. He confronted the owner, and asked him if he had anything the boy had never checked out. The owner said why, yes, I do, and pulled out a book called “Death”. He gladly sold it to the boy at a discounted price of $50. However, he warned the boy, never to read the front page. Well, the boy returned to his house and read the book, and he was content. However, he always wondered, what could be on that front page, it was always in the back of his mind. One day, the temptation was too much for the boy, and he flipped to the very front of the book, and dropped the book in HORROR. There, in bold print, was MSRP $6.99 2009-09-15T01:07:18-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542552 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542552 Hilary Clinton dies and goes to heaven(for some odd reason) and she confronts St. Peter and she asks what the godfathers clocks behind him were, and he says andquot;Those are lie Clocks, the hands move everytime you lieandquot; He points to Mother Teresa's Clock and shows that the hands have never moved, because she never lied, then he points to Abe Lincoln's Clock and shows that it only moved two times, then Hilary asks, andquot;Well wheres Bill's clock?andquot; Then St. Peter says andquot;Oh that's in Jesus' Office, he's using it as a ceiling fanandquot; 2009-09-15T00:02:45-05:00 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542548 http://www.youthink.com/jokes.cfm?obj_id=542548 Patient- 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' Doctor- andquot;That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.andquot; Patient- ' Is it common? ' Doctor- andquot;It's not unusual.andquot; 2009-09-14T21:50:45-05:00