A Humorous Political Party Quiz to Test
If You're an Archconservative, Leftwing Wacko, 
Antigovernment Libertine or a Commie Sympathizer
Donald J. Hagen
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A Humorous Political Party Quiz to Test If You`re an Archconservative, Leftwing Wacko, Antigovernment Libertine or a Commie Sympathizer by Donald J. Hagen Copyright © 2002 - 2004 by Donald (more)
personality test

1Government`s practice of stealing from the rich to give to the poor is...
run around outside
a crime.
a brave, generous and heroic deed.
a foolish, misguided attempt at social engineering.
an inspiration to us all.
2The most egregious example of government waste is...
A wolf that inhaled helium
the Department of the Interior`s $600,000 outhouse.
the Department of Defense`s $600 toilet seat.
the $100,000,000 in emergency funds to buy air conditioners for poor people during the blistering heat wave of 1998. Although, I`m sure there are people who honestly believe that if all those air conditioners saved just one life, then it was indeed a small price to pay.
the Department of Commerce`s entire budget.
3Why do people contribute money to political campaigns?
Its alright on some days
To get a good return on their investment.
To buy access to corruptible legislators.
To support candidates who have views similar to their own.
To advance the needs of The Party.
4How do you feel about artificially created food products?
How do you feel about artificially created food products?
I think they might pose a potential health risk.
Way back in the late 19th century Congress turned its learned attention on a new food product. A huge ruckus was raised by people who eyed this new creation with a deep heartfelt suspicion.To quell this firestorm of protest (and promote the general welfare) Congress took quick and decisive action--it taxed oleomargarine.
If Mother Nature can be improved upon, for the greater good of all, go for it.
5What is your favorite quotation?
A little
"The entire graduated income tax system structure was created by Karl Marx," by Ronald Reagan.
"Taxes are the price we pay for civilization," by Oliver Wendell Holmes.
"In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one class of citizens to give to another," by Voltaire.
"From each according to his ability, to each according to his need," by Karl Marx.
6What are your personal beliefs about endangered species?
Its alright on some days
Spending inordinate sums on hi-tech efforts to save an endangered species is very noble, but sometimes you`ve just got to know when to let go.
Let no species on life-support pass from this Earth unless every means at our disposal is spent on intensive resuscitation efforts.
Let those who religiously believe that every species is sacred, spend their own personal funds to purchase vast tracks of virgin habitat where they and all of Charles Darwin`s creatures can live together in peace, harmony and normal healthy predator/prey relationships.
For the sake of our children, and those of future generations, meticulously preserve dead endangered species specimens in formaldehyde in the major metropolitan natural history museums.
7The Center for Public-Health Dietary Self Control releases a study that says eating just one jelly donut is as harmful to human health as smoking 10,000,000 cartons of cigarettes. Do you...
keep eating jelly donuts.
demand that jelly donuts be removed from vending machines, and public school cafeterias.
hoard jelly donuts before they are regulated off grocer`s shelves.
hoard jelly donuts so you can sell them on the black market.
8The proper response for jelly donut manufactures regarding the public`s concerns over jelly donut`s deleterious health effects is to...
A little
hold a televised press conference, wherein the manufacturers eat jelly donuts, and feed them to their children.
institute a nationwide jelly donut recall.
let any consumers worried about eating jelly donuts simply stop eating them.
give total control of jelly donut manufacturing to the government.
9My drugs of choice are...
Its hard to say
ethyl alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine.
marijuana, cocaine, and ecstasy.
whatever is the latest newly discovered fad drug that the D.E.A. is screaming and wailing about in the press, and warning the public not to experiment with, lest some stupid sorry soul suffer the worst of all possible fates: scrambled brains and deep fried gonads.
vodka, cigarettes, and reds.
10What techniques are best for maintaining discipline in the classroom?
No I need more questions
Okay, hope you have fun makeing more quizzes
If just one student misbehaves, severely punish the entire class.
Force boys who refuse to settle down to take psychotropic drugs, such as Ritalin and Prozac.
Anyone who doesn`t want to be in class can leave.
Anyone who doesn`t want to be in class can be made an example of.

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