We say "potato", they say "potato". They call a slapper a tramp, a tramp a bum, a bum a fanny, and a fanny a pus-eh. In 1946, U.S war hero John Wayne said Britain and America were two countries seperated by a common language. Is this still true today? Time to find out! Quiz Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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39,560 hits Rate me! Share Favorite | Flag 5 years ago by biffa

Are you a REAL American?
We say "potato", they say "potato". They call a slapper a tramp, a tramp a bum, a bum a fanny, and a fanny a pus-eh. In 1946, U.S war hero John Wayne said Britain and America were (more)
personality test


1You decide that your relationship with your partner is over. How do break the news that you are leaving?
 
Leave a tearful note on the kitchen table and slip away into the night.
Sit down with your partner and calmly discuss the reasons for your decision.
Attack them with a chair in front of a rabble of cheering, pumped up trailer trash vermin on national television.
 
2You are visiting Egypt and are concerned over terrorist attacks on foreign nationals. What do you wear to remain inconspicuous?
 
A t-shirt and pair of jeans.
A Demis Rousoss tent dress, fez, false beard and sunglasses.
A high rise baseball cap, sandals with knee length white socks, horrendous flowery shirt, bermuda shorts and 18 cameras.
 
3Where are you most likely to find your local policeman?
 
Outside the station in the village, mending a puncture on his bicycle.
Asleep in his patrol car on a motorway fly over.
On his yacht wearing a pastel suit with the sleeves rolled up feeding his pet crocodile.
 
4You are the political leader of your country. An interviewer asks you a question on foreign affairs. How do you respond?
 
Knowledgeably, adressing the issues and answering the points.
As best you can, deftly steering the conversation towards topics on which you are better qualified to speak.
Stand there grinning gormlessly, then throw up on the Japanese prime minister, before going home and beginning an affair with a fat intern.
 
5You fancy a night in watching something funny on the telly. What kind of comedy show do you choose?
 
A sitcom like Fawlty Towers or The Office.
A sketch show like Little Britain or Monty Python.
A thinly disguised morality play set in a massive lounge where the audience whoop for ten minutes everytime an overpaid actor makes an entrance to deliver a lightweight wisecrack.
 
6You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park. What do you need to take?
 
A ball.
A ball and two jumpers.
A ball, 50 crash helmets, 4 tons of body armour, 20 cheer leaders, a marching band, and a team of surgeons specialising in spinal injuries.
 
7Whulst getting ready for bed you stub your toe on your husband/wife`s dressing table. What do you do?
 
Shout and swear a little, after all it did hurt and you did`nt have your slippers on at the time.
Make a mental note to move the table soon as possible.
Immediately call a hot shot lawyer with an uptown reputation to sue your spouse`s ass.
 
8You wake up one morning with a rather stiff neck after sleeping in an awkward position. Do you:
 
Ignore it, it`ll probably loosen up as the day goes on.
Take a couple of asprins and get on with things.
Take yourself to a prostitute-addicted televangelist faith healer in an ill fitting wig, who will lay his hands on your forehead and scream about the devil in front of an audience of inbreds.
 
9What did you have for breakfast?
 
Cornflakes, toast and a cup of tea.
Orange juice, a croissant and a mug of black coffee.
A bag of doughnuts with ice cream, a 32 ounce steak with 6 eggs sunny side up, 15 pancakes with maple syrup, 12 waffles and a diet coke.
 
10You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married. What sort of ceremony do you decide on?
 
A quiet little do with a few frinds in a registry office.
A church service followed by a traditional reception at a posh hotel.
A minute long mockery at a 24 hour drive thru chapel in Las Vegas, presided over by a transvestite vicar dressed as Elvis.
 

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