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4,565 hits 1.5 (2 votes) Share Favorite | Flag 5 years ago by Tartarus88

Have you or would you ever hire a prostitute?


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5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 10:47:39 AM EST (GMT-5)
It looks like 78% of people have never lived in a major aisan pacific city.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 10:59:42 AM EST (GMT-5)
I haven't and I wouldn't and I am generally pretty disgusted by people who do/would...

However, my seniors are reading _1984_ right now, and we recently discussed Winston's diary entry about frequenting a prostitute. I found myself seeking to restore balance by mentioning that in the context of a society where sex is pretty much prohibited, or thought of very, very differently than our own society, we should be cautious about imposing our values on the situation.

I've read Dan Savage's advise that a happily married couple where one partner is incapable of sex (whether physically or mentally) consider employing a sex worker for the other partner. I can't imagine... but then, if you can't imagine, you probably shouldn't judge, either.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:01:08 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 10:59:42 AM IRLIteach wrote:
Dan Savage's advise

"Dan Savage's advi*C*e"
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:04:06 AM EST (GMT-5)
when I was in the Marines I had sex with prostitutes in Nevada Mexico Japan and Korea. I never caught any diseases because I bagged the rascal and I feel like I've dodged a bullet so I'll never see a whore again.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:10:44 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 10:59:42 AM IRLIteach wrote:
I haven't and I wouldn't and I am generally pretty disgusted by people who do/would...


Why? If the woman (and let's be honest here, most prostitutes are women) is not working as a prostitute in order to feed a drug habit or pay a pimp and is doing so of her own free will then what's the problem?

She has something to offer that men are willing to pay for, I'm not going to judge or disgusted by either.

Not all men are socially competent enough to have a relationship that will lead to sex. Does that mean they should live and die as virgins? And what of people who have a disability or deformity that makes them unlikely to get a girlfriend? Should they resign themselves to a monastic life when there are women who are willing to have sex with them for a fee?
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:15:36 AM EST (GMT-5)
And that goes equally for women. I'm aware that women hiring men for sex is a lot less likely than the other way around, but why shouldn't women who, for whatever reason, want to have sex but can't get it through "normal" means be ashamed of hiring some handsome young man to give her what she wants?

The only people who SHOULD be ashamed are those with wives/in serious relationships.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:16:01 AM EST (GMT-5)
In America, living a normal life its hard to think of prostitution in any other context than on the streets of rough downtown areas, and in the occasional backwoods strip joint. In many other countries its very common everywhere you go.

In Hong Kong I was hard pressed to find a bar where the female bartenders weren't working on the side. The rates are even posted on the walls in some places. That's not even as bad as the Philippines or Thailand.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:20:54 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 10:59:42 AM IRLIteach wrote:
...
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:10:44 AM Guilty_Spark wrote:
Why? (and approximately 700 more characters of the same)

The next word I typed after that ellipses was "However." I then went on to say practically the opposite of everything I said before the ellipses.

Short answer? How I've been raised and what I've experienced. But I think what I went on to say - - and what I had planned to say even while typing that first part you focused on - - makes it unnecessary for you to tell me anything else you went on to say. Sounds like you're looking for a fight, and will ignore the bulk of what I said and the most important part in order to get it started.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:23:03 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:16:01 AM chaos93 wrote:
In America, living a normal life its hard to think of prostitution in any other context than on the streets of rough downtown areas, and in the occasional backwoods strip joint.

Exactly. People who judge from that stance w/o any self-awareness of their privilege should be confronted. For someone to acknowledge coming from that place doesn't deserve an attack.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:29:17 AM EST (GMT-5)
well, i have a fiancee, so no need for prostitutes. even if i was single i wouldn't want to do that either, too much risk, at least from a health perspective.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:30:26 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:16:01 AM chaos93 wrote:
In America, living a normal life its hard to think of prostitution in any other context than on the streets of rough downtown areas, and in the occasional backwoods strip joint.


And yet, that's not how it's done these days.

Most prostitutes (in the western world) advertise their services via the internet, making pimps much less of a factor. which is a very good thing, from her POV.

In my opinion, everyone with a job is a prostitute to some degree. I don't see a moral difference between giving an employer, in return for a pre-arranged fee, access to your manual labour, intellect or access to your vagina.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:38:34 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:20:54 AM IRLIteach wrote:
Sounds like you're looking for a fight,


Not at all. You're one of the few people on this site whose opinion I respect (even if I disagree with it on a regular basis). I'm wondering why you feel this disgust.

I strongly suspect religious and cultural influences are the main drivers here.

True, you do qualify your statement with caveats, but I think you should examine the source of your disgust.

For example:
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:15:36 AM Guilty_Spark wrote:
The only people who SHOULD be ashamed are those with wives/in serious relationships.


I know why I think this. I was raised to believe that one of the worst things a man could be is an adulterer.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 12:56:15 PM EST (GMT-5)
no, but only because i wouldn't want sex with someone i didn't know very well, I don't think I could enjoy it. i have no problems with prostitution though.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 1:08:37 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 10:59:42 AM IRLIteach wrote:
Dan Savage's advise
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:01:08 AM IRLIteach wrote:
"Dan Savage's advi*C*e"

Thought you'd gone British on us for a second.

On Sunday 4/27/14 - 11:38:34 AM Guilty_Spark wrote:
I was raised to believe that one of the worst things a man could be is an adulterer.

I could not agree with you more wholeheartedly. I find it interesting how many men treat this as some slippery slope. Everything from "It didn't mean anything" to this.

But my only caveat here would be "For what?" The intention of the question seems to be for sex, which i would say no. But I can imagine hiring them for other purposes that I could be alright with.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 1:11:19 PM EST (GMT-5)
haha, i like the idea of hiring a prostitute to mow your lawn or something

and they're all 'shall i put on my sexy gardening clothes?' and you're all 'just make sure you get the verges'
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 4/27/14 - 1:14:26 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Sunday 4/27/14 - 1:11:19 PM skyfish wrote:
haha, i like the idea of hiring a prostitute to mow your lawn or something and they're all 'shall i put on my sexy gardening clothes?' and you're all 'just make sure you get the verges'

"She's not so great with the lawn mower, but you should see the job she does with the leaf blower... and if the hedges need a little trim, well she's your gal!"
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Monday 4/28/14 - 10:28:14 AM EST (GMT-5)
I agree with a lot of Guilty Sparks points, especially the arguments about how some men and women have a difficult times having sexual relationships by "normal" means and so prostitution may be the best option for them.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Monday 4/28/14 - 8:59:26 PM EST (GMT-5)
I can see how in America it is seen as much more of a Taboo than other countires, due to the legal issue.

Here in Australia it is perfectly legal. I work in an industrial estate I can see one brothel from my desk, and I know another is only about 500m away around a corner.

(The one from my desk has an awesome looking roof top section with mini potted palms and heaters and what would be an amazing view towards the city, bastards)

I know in one of the european countries they have brothels which specialise in catering for people with disabilities. I watched a doco on it once, about a young man who had a sevre physical impairment was wheelchair bound from the UK and he was preparing to loose his virginity there.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Tuesday 4/29/14 - 6:01:20 AM EST (GMT-5)
I don't think there's anything intrinsically wrong with trading sex as a commodity; I agree that in theory there's no reason to treat it differently to other services.

That said, like chaos93 kind of said, I'm also wary of talking about it in a way that's abstracted from the way it works in practice for a lot of people, or in separating it from how sex and prostitution are viewed in our culture. Not just in terms of things like pimps, but also regarding the motivations for someone to go into it, as well as the potential for psychological and physical harm.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Tuesday 4/29/14 - 6:02:42 AM EST (GMT-5)
That's not to say that everyone who becomes a prostitute is 'broken' or anything, or that it will necessarily eventually cause them harm. It also doesn't mean that that other lines of work are exempt from similar considerations; we don't care so much whether someone became a builder for the 'right' reasons. Rather, in the same way that whilst I I don't think cinema for adult viewingography or open relationships are intrinsically bad, I think a not inconsequential number of people are hurt by it in practice. I also wonder how much those elements factor in for a lot of clients.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Tuesday 4/29/14 - 9:46:58 AM EST (GMT-5)
The Internet may have changed the access of prostitutes to clients but it's also changed the dating habits of many people who would otherwise fail to rise to the occasion.

CS mentioned people who had a partner that was unable to participate in sexual activity due to illness. A have a friend who is an avid user of pick up dating sites and some of the women he picked up are in that situation.

FD: I doubt that much factors in with the clients. Here it was highly publicized that the majority of East European women prostitutes were being trafficked to the West and then traded to the pimps they worked for, whether willingly or unwillingly. The only effective way of preventing this was by raiding the the premises they worked at and shutting them down. In some cases demolishing the buildings for redevelopment.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Tuesday 4/29/14 - 9:47:51 AM EST (GMT-5)
Another angle was to ban advertising for "models" in some of the free local newspapers that come through the door. Perhaps some men aren't too happy leaving a browsing history on their computer and are too dumb to do anything about it.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Tuesday 4/29/14 - 10:51:25 AM EST (GMT-5)
Twice. Once when I was 16, and then again 20 years later. The latter experience was a good one, we discussed everything, from politics to child care, and we baked raisin buns. And yes, the sex was OK.

A couple of my female frends have been sex workers, but if you don't pay them it's not prostitution.
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Tuesday 4/29/14 - 11:00:57 AM EST (GMT-5)
This one chick needed money for Christmas presents so I gave her $50 for anal. Does that count?
5 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Tuesday 4/29/14 - 11:05:38 AM EST (GMT-5)
No I wouldn't, as to people who do... I think it's a far too complex issue. I'm all for prostitution being legalised SO THAT the government can control it and IN THEORY it would lead to less people being taken advantage of and abused. It would also, again in theory, be much safer from everyone involved.

That being said, maybe I am a hypocrite for not paying for sex. I have been paid for sexual acts before, for some reason that feels slightly better.

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