In a recent advice column in a local newspaper, a person wrote in asking for advice on how to tell her partner she had been born polygamous. The advice given to her was to drop the act, and to accept the fact polygamy is a lifestyle. A large amount of the feedback was made up of polygamists, angered by this. They argued it was not a choice, and that being born that way had made their lives difficult. I'm just wondering what YT makes of this.
Biologically speaking, humans seem to face a paradox: on one hand, we have a set of hormones/chemistry that promotes polygamous desire and another set of hormones/chemistry that promotes monogamous desires.
So I don't think we can just rely on a biological argument to determine whether or not we're naturally promiscuous- - from the reading I've done, the evidence on that end is conflicting.
It would seem, then, that the specific set of biological desires we act on is a matter of choice, as we can choose to behave according to the polygamous desires, the monogamous desires, or somewhere in between. That's where the choice comes in.
I think another important question is if we *ought* to be monogamous, or polygamous, or if both are perfectly acceptable. Instead of just thinking in descriptive terms, we should be thinking in normative terms as well.
On Monday 12/10/12 - 10:16:17 PM BlackBird77 wrote: Okay, actual definitions aside, the question is clearly about promiscuous vs. committed-to-one person behavior/desires.
No it's not, you're interpreting that how you want.
The question clearly states "Are you born polygamous or is it a choice?" We're Taking what was written and answering accordingly. No interpretation required.
I would just say that some people - for whatever reason - don't work so well with monogamy.
I don't know if there are biological factors involved...or if it's strictly environmental.... I don't have that knowledge...I just have things I've seen and observed.
Just based on what I've seen, it seems people who aren't monogamous can't choose to be monogamous and have it really work.
I don't think we need to focus on whether people are "born that way" or not. It's like people believe that anything that goes against the norm HAS to be justified that way...when....it really shouldn't have to be...it's ridiculous.
There's nothing wrong with polyamory itself. It doesn't need justification. I think there's something wrong with the expectation that everyone should be monogamous when - obviously - monogamy isn't working for everyone. If we focused on having everyone do what suits them, it might save the world some heartbreak.
On Monday 12/10/12 - 10:16:17 PM BlackBird77 wrote: Okay, actual definitions aside, the question is clearly about promiscuous vs. committed-to-one person behavior/desires. Let's just say that and get this all out of the way from the get-go.
People can be committed to multiple people at a time.
Personally, I don't have a problem with promiscuity either but the question isn't really asking about that.