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1,044 hits 4.0 (1 vote) Share Favorite | Flag 6 years ago by HaroldtheBat

Which marriage is more likely to fail: a) the one based on sex or b) the one in which they abstained until after the wedding?


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6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Sunday 2/3/08 - 3:14:39 PM EST (GMT-5)
Easy.
If your marrige is based soley on sex, it's not going to work out. Duh.
But if you abstain from it, you already love the person for what they are, not for how "good" they are.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Sunday 2/3/08 - 3:16:04 PM EST (GMT-5)
50-50 both ways.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Sunday 2/3/08 - 3:36:08 PM EST (GMT-5)
This is obvious. Sex drive diminishes. That alone won't sustain a marriage.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Sunday 2/3/08 - 3:42:53 PM EST (GMT-5)
A would fail easier, I think...
B would make alot of expectations, and keep them together.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Sunday 2/3/08 - 8:17:07 PM EST (GMT-5)
Theoretically the sex is better in couple B. No expectations.

It's like going to the county fair. If it's the only thing you've been to, you'll love it. If you've just gotten back from Disney World, Six Flags, and Coney Island, you probably won't be quite so satisfied.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Sunday 2/3/08 - 8:42:06 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 2008-02-03 15:36:08.59 nwlyfree2003 wrote:
This is obvious. Sex drive diminishes. That alone won't sustain a marriage.


I agree. Marriage is way too complex to endure unless it has bases in all the components that make up a relationship.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Sunday 2/3/08 - 11:43:09 PM EST (GMT-5)
It's hard to say, either could fail, depending on the people.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Sunday 2/3/08 - 11:56:02 PM EST (GMT-5)
I say A is more likely to phail. I say this because B is not something that everyone does, and the people who do that usually don't believe in divorce, and if they weren't going to make an exception before they married, I doubt most would afterwards.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Monday 2/4/08 - 8:24:30 AM EST (GMT-5)
Pretty much, they seem equally ill-fated to me. If forced to choose, though, I'd pick A.

On 2008-02-03 20:17:07.793 dkerwood wrote:
quotes.


Aren't you just assuming that the virgins are enjoying the "county fair", in the first place? A person's first sexual experiences are usually awkward and unpleasant, especially if they're with someone else who doesn't know what they're doing, either.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Monday 2/4/08 - 10:47:29 AM EST (GMT-5)
If it's only based on sex, that's gonna fail.

I see no reason why B couldn't work out fine. Assuming the love each other and are dedicated to each other, why not?
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Monday 2/4/08 - 10:14:31 PM EST (GMT-5)
I'd think the one based on sex would be more likely to fail - marriage isn't about sex. It's a great part of marriage, but there's so much more.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Monday 2/4/08 - 11:29:14 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 2008-02-04 08:24:30.077 MelLowStar wrote:
Aren't you just assuming that the virgins are enjoying the "county fair", in the first place? A person's first sexual experiences are usually awkward and unpleasant, especially if they're with someone else who doesn't know what they're doing, either.

Meh. The marriage bed is quite different than the backseat of a high schooler's Chevy.

To be frank, I know plenty of people who have had an amazing "first time".
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Tuesday 2/5/08 - 7:06:46 AM EST (GMT-5)
Just because you abstained until after the wedding does not mean that you will have a successful marriage. Because, believe it or not, but sexual relationships is one of the 3 biggest reasons for divorce - the other 2 are time (handling between job/family) and money. My source: http://www.divorcereform.org/cau.ht...

So if you abstain until after the wedding, the chances of your marriage failing are greater than the chances of a couple, who got to know each other both physically and spiritually.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Tuesday 2/5/08 - 8:20:52 AM EST (GMT-5)
Hamalina- First, couples who practice abstinence until marriage have a 50% lower divorce rate than those who do not wait, so the statistics don't support your claim.

I'd imagine that it's difficult to be dissatisfied with the sex if a) both partners are committed to a healthy sex life, and b) you have no basis for comparison.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Tuesday 2/5/08 - 11:09:21 AM EST (GMT-5)
Dkerwood, how about citing the sources of those statistics?

You don't need a comparison chart to check whether you've enjoyed something, if you just haven't or your partner hasn't managed to deliver you the sensations you see.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Tuesday 2/5/08 - 11:17:36 AM EST (GMT-5)
A will definitely fail.
Sex alone cant' sustain a marriage.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Wednesday 2/6/08 - 11:27:02 AM EST (GMT-5)
On 2008-02-04 08:24:30.077 MelLowStar wrote:
Pretty much, they seem equally ill-fated to me. If forced to choose, though, I'd pick A.


Why would abstaining until after marriage necessarily cause a marriage to be ill fated?


6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Wednesday 2/6/08 - 2:15:25 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 2008-02-06 11:27:02.337 CowDung wrote:
Why would abstaining until after marriage necessarily cause a marriage to be ill fated?


It's less about the fact that they chose to abstain and more about the *sort* of people who'd chose to abstain in the first place and the attitudes that these people would probably have about frankly discussing sexual problems.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Wednesday 2/6/08 - 2:18:03 PM EST (GMT-5)
Sounds like you are making an assumption based on a stereotype...
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Wednesday 2/6/08 - 2:53:47 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 2008-02-06 14:18:03.383 CowDung wrote:
Sounds like you are making an assumption based on a stereotype...


What sort of people do you think would choose to abstain until marriage?

Hippie atheists? Sex counselors? Strippers?

...or religious conservatives who aren't overtly sexual people, maybe?

Also, I think you missed the part where I said "probably". It was a generalization; it's not something I'm assuming of all celibate people.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Wednesday 2/6/08 - 4:26:57 PM EST (GMT-5)
Why does it matter what 'sort' of people would choose to abstain?

Why don't you support your statement by posting some stats that indicate higher divorce rates for couples that abstain before marriage instead of just reinforcing your stereotype of what the sex life of religious conservatives is like?
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Wednesday 2/6/08 - 4:45:19 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 2008-02-05 11:09:21.01 hamalina wrote:
Dkerwood, how about citing the sources of those statistics?

Well played. I did a lot of fast research before replying before, and didn't check my sources- just recycled what an article I read reported (without citing its source). I withdraw my statement.

I'll keep looking for some statistics and I'll repost with them.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Wednesday 2/6/08 - 4:46:07 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 2008-02-06 16:26:57.29 CowDung wrote:
Why does it matter etc


"...the attitudes that these people would probably have about frankly discussing sexual problems."

On 2008-02-06 16:26:57.29 CowDung wrote:
..support your statement by posting some stats that indicate higher divorce rates for couples that abstain before marriage...


In heavily-Christian, conservative areas of the U.S. (obviously, these are the people likeliest to abstain), divorce rates *are* highest. I'll find links in a moment.

On 2008-02-06 16:26:57.29 CowDung wrote:
...reinforcing your stereotype of what the sex life of religious conservatives is like?


You act as though it's a completely baseless prejudice that I've pulled out of thin air.
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Wednesday 2/6/08 - 4:46:40 PM EST (GMT-5)
Who whines about nudity and sex scenes on TV and in film? When some TV program features teen sexuality or birth control, who bitches about it? Who is pushing for abstinence-only programs and trembling in terror at the thought of American kids being given basic information about safe sex?
6 yrs ago, 7 mos ago - Wednesday 2/6/08 - 4:59:04 PM EST (GMT-5)
Here are articles, as promised.:

'Walking the Line on Family Values'.
An article that's a bit older, but has the same info, basically.

I'm obviously not saying that these people are getting divorced simply *because* they were celibate; there are definitely other factors to be considered, but I'd say there's a connection of sorts, even if it's only a small one.

Anyway, if you have some problem with the credibility of the articles I've posted, a quick Google search will reveal dozens of other articles about the same topic. Look at those, if you'd like.

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