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5,509 hits Rate me! Share Favorite | Flag 14 years ago by Zenkat

Which is more despicable: a man getting an otherwise unwilling woman drunk with the intent of seducing her, or a willing woman acquiescing to drunken sex and later crying rape?


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15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 1/16/05 - 12:06:20 AM EST (GMT-5)
I honestly cannot see how one is worse than the other. I find both terribly despicable.

This question makes me angry. Not at you, Zencat! But just thinking about people who do this. Growl.

15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 1/16/05 - 12:31:49 AM EST (GMT-5)
crying rape is worse.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 1/16/05 - 1:55:12 AM EST (GMT-5)
They both involve lying and betrayal, and are both despisable, abhorrent acts. If forced to choose, however, I would have to go with "drunken coercion." As a woman and friend to a rape victim maybe I'm biased. I would think if the woman was aware enough to realize what was going on around her and able to remember it later that living with it would be a tormenting memory and cause overwhelming agony.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 1/16/05 - 1:58:25 AM EST (GMT-5)
This is very hard. I do not know what it is like to be seduced through alcohol, but i imagine horrible. Still, in the second case, the guy's life could be screwed terribly by the woman crying rape. I think the second one is a bit more evil.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 1/16/05 - 2:01:10 AM EST (GMT-5)
The latter. It makes it harder real rape victims to get justice.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 1/16/05 - 9:18:43 AM EST (GMT-5)
They are equally despicable acts. If forced to choose I'd have to go with MsCynic and say that drunken coercion is "worse" just because of the effect it has on the victim.

There is absolutely no getting around the fact that rape harms a women in every possible way. It's something that takes time and effort to get over, if that is even possible to do.

Being accused of rape can absolutely hurt a man's reputation and wallet, (in legal fees, which me may be able to sue for later in a civil court) but I don't see it hurting him emotionally unless the woman happed to be someone he cared for. Since it is so hard to even convict a guilty man of rape I'd say it's highly unlikely that an innocent man would be convincted of rape. I just don't see the man having such lasting effects as a rape victim would have.

Granted, I am biased because I'm a woman and can very easily imagine what it must be like to be raped, but can't even fathom being wrongly accused of rape.

15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 1/16/05 - 9:26:05 AM EST (GMT-5)
They are both equally despicable acts.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 1/16/05 - 9:27:24 AM EST (GMT-5)
Crying rape definitely. If both people are drunk and have sex they are equally responsible for their actions.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 1/16/05 - 9:28:00 AM EST (GMT-5)
^No, the alcohol is.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Sunday 1/16/05 - 9:29:19 AM EST (GMT-5)
Both because each one brings out the evil of the other sex. We are, at times horrible creatures and the intent of our own self gratification is much to high of a personal need.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Thursday 1/20/05 - 1:35:02 PM EST (GMT-5)
I would definantely say that crying rape is worse. DarkFaerie said it, if you're coerced into having drunken sex by a guy when you're drunk, you could've avoided that. Engaging in consentual sex and then having someone claim that it isn't is far far worse because you can't really control that.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Thursday 1/20/05 - 11:32:48 PM EST (GMT-5)
Crying rape. Even though the other one is also horrible, the woman should have had enough self controle to not get to the point where she doesn't know what's going on.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 12:02:19 AM EST (GMT-5)
Of course coercing a woman to have sex is horrible. But crying rape is far worse. Why? A rape conviction can carry a sentence of life in prison.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 12:05:42 AM EST (GMT-5)
They both piss me off....I think the crying rape deal would be the one I'd pick, but that's a very hard choice.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 12:13:12 AM EST (GMT-5)
Nothing is worse than rape, come on now people.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 1:11:11 AM EST (GMT-5)
Both are sub-human, but the later is worse. While the immediate effect is not as bad, the long term effect hurts more people. People who were really raped get treated less seriously and have a harder time proving their case. Which mean more rapists go free, and more women suffer.

Besides, I'm not so sure I can call the first case rape. If a driver is drunk and kills someone, are they not responsible for killing them? If you drink and get drunk, you are still responsible for what you do when drunk. When you *choose* to loose control, you are responsible for what happens after you've lost control.

15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 1:14:46 AM EST (GMT-5)
I heard (true or not I don't know) that some feminists groups want to hold men resposible for having sex with a drunk woman and that it should be the same as rape even if the man is drunk too.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 1:37:05 AM EST (GMT-5)
They're both bad. It's tough to say which is worse. I don't think all the women that "cry rape" falsely really understand that they're wrong, but the ramifications of it are that so many real rapes are treated with such skepticism. Since the alternative here specifies drunken "seduction," not rape, I'm going to have to stick with "crying rape" being worse.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 6:33:29 AM EST (GMT-5)
The question says " a man getting an otherwise unwilling woman drunk with the intent of seducing her". I take that as meaning that the man set out to do this, I don't think that's the equivalent of when two people happen to get drunk together and things go too far. Rape is the intention.

"People who were really raped get treated less seriously and have a harder time proving their case. "

I don't think that is true. Rape is hard to prove no matter what. I don't think the occasions when someone is wrongly accused has much of an effect on other rape cases.

15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 7:47:13 AM EST (GMT-5)
Both as bad as each other. Man getting a woman drunk so he can have sex with her is despicable and causes so much emotional stress to the woman. A woman crying rape, to me, is shameful and, I can only imagine, devastating to the accused person.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 8:00:15 AM EST (GMT-5)
The latter is worse because in both scenarios the woman has a choice. She doesn't HAVE to get drunk, she has a choice. Crying rape is pure evil and it makes it harder for real victimes to be seen as credible.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 8:14:15 AM EST (GMT-5)
A person's poor judgement does not mean they deserve or are asking to be raped. By that line of thinking you could also say that in the latter example the man also had a choice in that he didn't have to have sex with the woman. Since in most cases where a man is wrongly accused of rape the sex was actually consentual.

Obviously women should be more selective in who they get drunk with and men should be more selective in who they have sex, but those facts alone does not make one better or worse than the other.

15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 8:20:26 AM EST (GMT-5)
I didn't say that she was asking to raped, only that she had a choice about the getting drunk bit. You do make a good point though, the guy doesn't HAVE to sleep with her. However, it's stunningly difficult for a guy to make balanced decisions when in possession of an erection.
15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 8:26:30 AM EST (GMT-5)
I hate it when women do that! Why don't they just stay in the house and not go out, then it can't happen?

Also, I know a few guys who aren't gay and have no interest in sex. They find it too boring and would rather live their lives.

15 yrs ago, 2 mos ago - Friday 1/21/05 - 3:22:22 PM EST (GMT-5)
Maybe rather than splitting hairs over the intended meaning of "drunk with the intent of seducing her," unhailey, we should deal with the two most likely interpretations: if it means "rape," that's worse, because as I said, I don't think many women file rape charges they know to be false. If it means "seduce," though, I take it to mean he's persuading her in much the same way a jerk may pretend to care so much about a girl in order to bed her. In that case, I think he's a jerk, but his "victim" is as much a poor judge of character as a victim, and in that case, the ramifications of a flase rape charge are worse.
"I don't think the occasions when someone is wrongly accused has much of an effect on other rape cases."
Each case is individual, of course, but you can't tell me that some of the skeptical and cynical backlash against alleged rape victims has not been brought about due to false rape charges, among other things.

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