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buttercream, you twat. - Mood:Good

Thursday May 10 20121:42:14 AM |

one more day of work left. then. vacationnnnnnnn! sold a $575 statue today. and $150 worth of masks from bali. and got some awesome flip-flops. and now i'm laying in bed eating buttercream eggs from the local chocolatier. mmmomomomnomnomnom i feel anxious. i feel i am forgetting things. i may have nailed us a gig at an art gallery doing poetry/music/selling art. FINALLY. me and the bff. i applied at 4 jobs since a month ago. only one rejection notice. the other 3 seem to have gotten no response. sadly, there is no number to call to find out if they even got my resume. or to bug them. or whatever it is people do to "follow up". i hate when people call my work to follow up. i want to shred their resume.

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laying here, realizing...i`m just as bad as him. i just have more self-control. - Mood:Good

Wednesday May 09 201212:42:16 AM |

i come from a long line of addicts. my grandparents were alcoholics. my mom/dad/step-dad are all alcoholics. my great grandparents were alcoholics. my mom and step-dad abused pills so bad they died before she was 40 and he was 60. i have dabbled in pill-ary. i hardly drink or smoke. but that's all. i always tell myself that if i had the pills around, i'd take them. so i keep away from them. i have a full bottle of lortabs in my bathroom right now. and i've had one of them in two weeks for a toothache. i had one beer last night after weeks and weeks of not having anything to drink. and irish went 8 days without a drink(irish is an alcoholic from a long line of alcoholics), and today he had a few. and i am upset at him. but more upset that i want a pill, and a smoke, and to drink all the beers in my fridge tonight.

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you know how i know my granny loves me? - Mood:Good

Monday April 30 20123:29:18 AM |

i asked her for one pain pill for my tooth ache, and to be honest, to calm me down after a really really upsetting day. she gave me a whole bottle. told me she'd never take them. i feel good for the first time all day. even with spiders in my bed, and ants. i even made some pretty necklaces. got creative and sh*t. listening to some massive attack. did dishes. gonna shower, and make some stuff for etsy. tomorrow i'm going to my friend's sauna. and having lunch up in the hills. then another few days of work, then vacation. when i get back i am piercing my nose, and bleaching my hair.

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