Questions of the Week

1. Would you work for a month for free to help save your job?
Added by: juni

2. Could God raise the rate of violent crime by 10%?
Added by: Kungfullama

3. Which of the following remind you more of summer time: The smell of sunscreen or the sound of a lawn mower?
Added by: XforeverX

4. Since the use of hand sanitizer is so commonplace now, do you find yourself substituting it for washing your hands?
Added by: VictoryRider

5. Who do you find funnier: Jim Carrey or Will Ferrell?
Added by: bluedaisy11

1. Which European country should you visit?
Added by: Dooked

2. Which English Premier League star are you?
Added by: thnoob

3. Ben 10 Alien Force Trivia
Added by: Jackobob

4. How well do you know Heroes?
Added by: Dinosaurs

5. What insect are you?
Added by: CuteGiraffe

Funniest Comments of the Week

From the gossip thread:
VictoryRider: I was totally on the news! Woo! Who wants autographs?!
le_burger: I want it on my chest!
VictoryRider: Being a burger, I think it would be more fitting on your buns!

In a journal titled 'If diarrhea was porn, I would have just won the Boner Award':
Cheese King: I survived reading this journal. I'm making badges for the support group meetings.

In a journal about a teen breaking up with her boyfrien:
hamletsghost: This is why people under the age of 18 shouldn't date
McDoug8: I am dating.
superkay37: Your mom doesn't count.

From a trivia thread, Q: What was the name of the first 'Chimponaut' who rocketed into space on January 31, 1961? :
BluPineRidge: Answer - 3 year old Ham
Cowdung: Way past the expiration date, no wonder they sent it into space.

In a news thread about the shooting in the DC Holocaust museum:
Halzberry: This just in: Ahmadinejad has denied that the Holocaust Museum Shooting ever occurred.

Joke of the Week

Social Security Sex

Two men were talking. 'So, how's your sex life?'

'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex.'

'Social Security sex?'

'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!'

Member of the Week

The member of the week is pinkconverse. A member since May 2005, Pink recently finished second in Sammy's 'design a YT T-shirt contest (won by previous MOTW Rik_khaos). Thanks to all who participated and congrats!

JoeInterview's Member Feature

This week's interview features captaintito. This interview was conducted by travbowman.

JoeInterview: First off, how did you find YT?

captaintito: I first found i-am-bored.com with a search engine query that was reminiscent of the domain name. I think it was the questions or quizzes that sucked me in first, but then I discovered the forums and the rest was history.

JI: What would you say is the biggest reason you keep coming back for more?

CT: There was a period of time about a year ago where I didn't log in for months. I guess I had gotten bored with the site when certain people that I used to talk to left and never returned. But like an Atlantic salmon instinctively fighting upstream to find its breeding grounds, I felt compelled to return. It's because this site offers something like no other I have ever encountered. Intelligent and witty dialogue, with enough of a social aspect to make it seem real, but not at all like myspace. That, and they finally added a sports forum.

JI: So in your lifetime, what Cleveland franchise seems likeliest to first win a championship?

CT: It's all about LeBron. If the Cavs sign a playmaker in the front court this offseason, they'll win it all next year. If Lebron signs with another team after next year, well...let's not even think about that. No other Cleveland franchise is even close to competing.

JI: Why do you think the Buckeyes have struggled in Bowl Games the last few years?

CT: Oh man, Joe. You are killing me here. I think that this issue is a pretty complicated one that reaches far beyond the sidelines.

Let’s face it; the Big Ten in general has faded from its former prominence, and while OSU football is still one of the best programs in the conference, it doesn’t get much schedule help in preparing for powerhouses in the SEC, Big Twelve or even the PAC-10. I mean, schools like Ohio State, Michigan, and Penn State do a good enough job of recruiting premier athletes from their own backyards, but they don’t have nearly as much appeal as a Florida, USC, or Texas to a prospective out of state recruit. What do the Midwestern schools have to offer besides tradition? Not much besides farmland, snow and a bunch of corn-fed heifers running around their campuses.

Unless they’re growing poonani on those farms, most 17 year old recruits will likely opt for the sun, fun, and sea of blondes that can be found elsewhere, not to mention football programs that have had more recent national success. The athletes are everything, and Buckeyes just simply don’t have them.

I get to travel around the country for work, and there are many places that I would rather experience for four years than Columbus, OH. I went to school 15 minutes from the campus at a small private (read: boring) school called Ohio Wesleyan, so I often consider myself a de-facto OSU alum because of all the time I spent partying on High Street. If I had a different set of circumstances (OWU paid most of my tuition, and I was dating Mrs. Tito who was living near Cleveland) I would have preferred to go to school somewhere near a beach. After all, I’m originally from San Diego.

JI: How did you and Ms. Tito meet?

CT: She transferred to my high school during my senior year (her junior year) and I was infatuated with her at first sight. We would make eye contact in the hallway, and she even caught me staring once, but I never had the balls to talk to her, which was kinda odd for me. I think it was because half the boys in my class referred to her as "Super Hot Hippie Chick" because of how she dressed, and she was basically immortalized in such a way that I felt like I was in the prescence of a celebrity.

I finally got introduced to her at party during the summer after graduation. It turned out that she had a crush on me too, but she was too shy to make the first move.

JI: More than a decade later, you're still together. Most high school relationships seem to last a few months. What's your secret?

CT: It probably sounds trite but we really are best friends, and we compliment each other's weaknesses with our respective strengths. I can't stand tidying the house, and she enjoys making everything neat and orderly. She's not too enthused with cooking, and I've finely honed the old culinary skills. I like making a decent living, and she apparently has no problems spending money. http://www.youthink.com/art/smile_tongue.gif

Every once in a while, when the kids go to bed at a decent hour, she puts on a throwback outfit to her "Super Hot Hippie Chick" days and we act like a couple of silly kids with zero inhibitions.

JI: What's your favourite thing to make in the kitchen for the family?

CT: Well it would technically be outside the kitchen because I love to use the grill. Any type of meat like steak, burgers, brats or chicken and a summer vegetable medley from the garden: zucchini, yellow squash, tomatoes, and red onions (store bought) with a dash of seasoning with some olive oil all wrapped in tin foil.

JI: What has surprised you the most about parenthood?

CT: Not so much a surprise as it was a reality check: Kids don't come with an off button. Parenting is full time, all the time. It's the biggest commitment that anyone can ever make.

JI: How hard it is for you to not see your family while you're traveling on business?

CT: Funny you should mention that because I just flew to Jacksonville today.

It's really not that difficult because most of the trips I take are only a few days, and when I'm not traveling, I work from home. I also make my own travel schedule, so I can usually be sure not to miss anything that's really important. Since my girls aren't babies anymore, it's not as difficult for my wife when I'm gone and that lets me sleep better at night- even if it's at a hotel.

JI: Describe what you do for your job for us.

CT: I’m a sales manager for a Company that manufactures commercial lighting fixtures. We utilize solid state lighting technology (LEDs) and fiber optics in different systems to offer a diverse portfolio of lighting solutions that feature unique advantages such as energy efficiency, remote source distribution, and compelling aesthetics. We do a lot of unique things with light.

I work with a network of independent sales representatives in 19 states, Canada, and the Caribbean and we call on architects, engineers, and lighting designers to get our products specified on building projects. I also work directly with clients and facility managers to perform audits and help provide payback calculations for upgrades to existing systems.

Did you know that lighting consumes approximately 34% of all U.S. electricity? Some of our solutions can cut lighting energy by up to 80%. I like to think that I’m doing my little part to make the world a greener place.

JI: I'm sold! What city that you've travelled to for business was your favourite?

CT: Chicago. It's kinda like New York City, but the people are actually friendly. Honorable mention: Atlanta. Buckhead has a great night life.

JI: Changing gears, what sort of music has been getting the most spin from you lately?

CT: Kanye West's "Amazing" was my (and the NBA's) theme song before the Cavs got rolled

A brief shuffle on my iPod just played Simian Mobile Disco "I Believe," Smashing Pumpkins "Disarm," and The Cars "Moving in Stereo." I like a bunch of classic rock, 90's alternative, and electronica, and all were represented in a three song set!

JI: When at the bar what's your drink of choice?

CT: Most of the time I'm happy with a decent wheat ale. If I'm trying to get a little extra happy, it's Crown Royal with a splash of Coke.

JI: What's the craziest thing you've ever done while drunk?

CT: One summer before we got married, we went to visit my relatives in San Diego. The last night before we came home, we went out on an all inclusive dinner boat cruise around the bay where I put down a few beers and what had to have been nearly a dozen glasses of the endless Kendall Jackson chardonnay.

I was sh*t hammered by the time the boat pulled back into the dock. We staggered back to our nearby hotel and took care of our sloppy business before Mrs. Tito passed out. Despite having a huge meal on the bay cruise, I was starving and I remembered seeing a Jack in the Box about 2 blocks away from the hotel. I did not have a car- so like a genius, I decided to walk there. It was after 2:00 am by the time I had blindly made my way there, but of course the dining room was already closed.

Not to be easily defeated, I attempted to walk directly up to the drive thru window where the employee politely informed me that they were unable to serve walk up customers and pointed to a sign which also indicated as much. Still determined to get my hands on the delicious tacos that were just within my reach, I walked back to the main street convinced that I would be able to flag down a cab.

I waited on the corner and after a number of cars passed, I noticed in the distance a vehicle that distinctly resembled a taxi cab that was approaching. In an effort not to miss this glorious opportunity, I stepped out into the street and flailed my arms in what I had drunkenly thought to be suitable protocol. To my horror, the taxi cab had somehow morphed into a police cruiser as it came to an abrupt halt in front of me.

The officer spoke to me through open passenger side window and calmly asked me what the problem was. I informed him that I had mistaken him for a taxi cab that I had been attempting to hail to drive me through Jack in the Box and then drive me back to my hotel. He asked for my driver’s license as I continued to tell my story of the evening and my life…blah, blah, blah

“Have you been drinking tonight, son?” the officer asked.

"Yes sir. I had a good amount of wine earlier tonight.” I hiccupped.

“What hotel are you staying at?”

“The Holiday Inn on the bay, about two blocks that way.” I pointed.

“Get in. I’ll give you a ride.”

Then, to my absolute amazement, the officer pulled into the drive thru lane of Jack in the Box with me in the back seat and drove forward where I proceeded to order the better part of $20 worth of tacos. With fast food in hand the officer drove me back to the hotel and told me to be careful and have a safe plane ride back to Ohio! I thanked him profusely and hurried back to my room, still in disbelief of what had just happened. Once upstairs I immediately began eating the tacos, but after the third or fourth one, I realized I had just made a terrible mistake.

I leapt toward the bathroom about five seconds too late. A brown shower of fermented meat chunks erupted from my throat with an unnatural force. The spew splattered on the wall and continued incessantly until nearly every surface inside the bathroom save the intended target in the commode was covered in the foul mess. That was right about when I blacked out.

I awoke with debilitating headache, covered in a terrible reminder of the incident and I suddenly realized that we had only an hour and a half before our plane’s scheduled departure time. The entire suite smelled of death. I shook Mrs. Tito from her own inebriated slumber, and I tried to explain what had happened while she slept as we gathered our belongings.

Realizing that I had no time to even attempt to alleviate the disaster that had once been a nice hotel bathroom, I pulled two crisp twenties out of my wallet and set them neatly on the table near the entry to the room as we left. I eventually puked again in the airport bathroom, and we barely made our flight.

I have never drank chardonnay or eaten at Jack in the Box ever since.

JI: Oh man...that's classic. Whose sense of humour gets you to laugh every time you read/hear/watch it?

CT: Steve Carrell. He makes it seem so effortless.

JI: What's been his best role so far?

CT: His role as Michael Scott on The Office is my favorite. Everybody who has had an office job knows at least one guy like that.

JI: What would be your dream job?

CT: Venture capitalist. I seem to have a knack for identifying opportunities, but I've never had the kind of cash to fully capitalize. I would be investing in renewable energy and foreclosed real estate like a mother right now.

JI: People buying stock in Captaintito right now should expect what in ten years?

CT: I'm no whore so I'm not for sale, but if you wanted to catch a peek at my future, I would start with looking near the top. Either that or six feet under, but no matter what, my biggest motivation in the next ten years can be summarized as the role fathers with daughters by Chris Rock:

"Sometimes I am walking with my daughter, I'm talking to my daughter, I'm looking at her, I'm pushing her in the stroller. And sometimes I pick her up and I just stare at her and I realize my only job in life is to keep her off the (stripper) pole!"

JI: If you could meet any three YTers anywhere you wanted, who would be there and where would it be?

CT: Travbowman, Snowbrdr88, and dallaschick in Las Vegas during AFC/NFC championship weekend with the Browns, Broncos, Lions and Cowboys being left in the playoffs. Football, beer, poker and the mystique of Vegas are a tough combo to beat.

In the even less likely event that the Browns and Lions triumphed, Snobrdr88 and I would finally be able to brag to Trav and DC, who have both actually seen their teams win, much less make it to the Superbowl.

Our elation would be short-lived however, as two weeks later the Browns and Lions would struggle through a marathon Superbowl. For the first time in history, it would end in a 0-0 tie after nine consecutive quarters as neither team refused to stop sucking and give their fans the much needed relief of finally breaking through to victory.

JI: Didn't the 80s already teach you how a Broncos/Browns AFC championship game is going to end?

CT: Elway > Orton.

JI: Any final words of wisdom to share with your fellow YTers?

CT: Live your life today because there isn't always tomorrow.

This week's article is titled 'Struggling British Airways ask staff to work for nothing', and the thread was posted by Sammy.

This week's link is titled '6 Stubborn 'Nail Houses'', and the link was posted by Watch.

Best Avatar of the Week	Best Profile Design of the Week
Die_Numb	"The Look" by Immortal_1

Featured Article of the Week

Time of Change
Excerpt: In this world there is a secret, that few know and even fewer that understand. The few that know can't speak of it, or else the bearer's of the secret will suffer greater then they all ready are. It is about mystery and mishap, loneliness and fright, and the darkness and light within.

Written by J.L.A.B

Check it all out at YouThink.com!