Which Ivy League University is right for YOU?

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11,109 hits 2.8 (6 votes) Share Favorite | Flag 16 years ago by guilty729

Which Ivy League University is right for YOU?
Which Ivy League University is right for YOU?
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16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 9:53:06 AM EST (GMT-5)
Which Ivy League University is right for YOU? Just if you were curious.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 9:54:07 AM EST (GMT-5)
Princeton You're smart, you're thin, you're pretty, and goddamit, people love you. You are destined for great, great things, little Princetonian. Let there be a never-ending stream of Country-Club-Like institutions in your unmarred future.


16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 9:58:35 AM EST (GMT-5)

Columbia You've worn all black since you were nine and knew, even as a nine year old living in nowheresville that you were a New Yorker at heart. Well, you wont make it in the big city. I'm sorry tike. Still, have fun while it lasts, because the rumor is, most Columbia students don't.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 10:11:16 AM EST (GMT-5)

Harvard You're the best -- you know it, as does everyone else (except for US News and World Report every few years). You might not be hip, you might not be pretty, but you're smart as a whip and you never need to do another impressive thing in your life.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 10:20:35 AM EST (GMT-5)
columbia
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 10:31:29 AM EST (GMT-5)

Brown Don't worry. The real world is not for everyone, and since you can afford to avoid it, why don't you? Smoke a little, draw a little, make a little love, sing a little song... You'll join a fine tradition of Brown graduates who end up finding themselves... forever.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 10:44:16 AM EST (GMT-5)

Yale You're second best, and you know it. Still, those riding the crimson wave may be slightly smarter, slightly more prestigious, but you know you're hipper. I mean, you're not hip -- your a nerd, for f*ck's sake -- but you're hipper.


if they say so.

16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 10:48:18 AM EST (GMT-5)
Dartmouth Does anybody even go to Dartmouth anymore? They must have people applying -- it's still sort of hard to get into -- but nobody has ever met any of these people. They're just swallowed up in the Vermont countryside, where they dissapear into a world of dead poets, lager, and argyle vests.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 11:18:31 AM EST (GMT-5)
Dartmouth Does anybody even go to Dartmouth anymore? They must have people applying -- it's still sort of hard to get into -- but nobody has ever met any of these people. They're just swallowed up in the Vermont countryside, where they dissapear into a world of dead poets, lager, and argyle vests.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 11:25:47 AM EST (GMT-5)
Dartmouth
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 12:34:05 PM EST (GMT-5)
Cornell If only the least impressive Ivy didn't also have to be the hardest. You know those Harvard kids are laughing at you as they sip gin and tonics in their finals club and pull off easy A's. There are always the gorges though. And hopping Ithaca. Well, yeah, you have the gorges.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 5:17:44 PM EST (GMT-5)
Cornell
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 5:22:30 PM EST (GMT-5)
Harvard You're the best -- you know it, as does everyone else (except for US News and World Report every few years). You might not be hip, you might not be pretty, but you're smart as a whip and you never need to do another impressive thing in your life.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 5:23:51 PM EST (GMT-5)

16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 5:34:15 PM EST (GMT-5)
Harvard

16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 5:36:17 PM EST (GMT-5)
"Columbia You've worn all black since you were nine and knew, even as a nine year old living in nowheresville that you were a New Yorker at heart. Well, you wont make it in the big city. I'm sorry tike. Still, have fun while it lasts, because the rumor is, most Columbia students don't. "
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 7:11:07 PM EST (GMT-5)
Penn
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 7:53:33 PM EST (GMT-5)
I got Yale. Guess I didn't get my own school because I'm not a JAP, as kids on the walk remind me everyday.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 8:33:53 PM EST (GMT-5)
Brown: Don't worry. The real world is not for everyone, and since you can afford to avoid it, why don't you? Smoke a little, draw a little, make a little love, sing a little song... You'll join a fine tradition of Brown graduates who end up finding themselves... forever.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Sunday 12/21/03 - 8:37:05 PM EST (GMT-5)
Princeton You're smart, you're thin, you're pretty, and goddamit, people love you. You are destined for great, great things, little Princetonian. Let there be a never-ending stream of Country-Club-Like institutions in your unmarred future.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Monday 12/22/03 - 8:26:33 AM EST (GMT-5)
Harvard You're the best -- you know it, as does everyone else (except for US News and World Report every few years). You might not be hip, you might not be pretty, but you're smart as a whip and you never need to do another impressive thing in your life.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Monday 12/22/03 - 8:33:02 AM EST (GMT-5)
Princeton You're smart, you're thin, you're pretty, and goddamit, people love you. You are destined for great, great things, little Princetonian. Let there be a never-ending stream of Country-Club-Like institutions in your unmarred future.

Yay!

16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Monday 12/22/03 - 2:02:41 PM EST (GMT-5)
I got Penn U
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Monday 12/22/03 - 2:07:57 PM EST (GMT-5)
I got Penn as well.
16 yrs ago, 11 mos ago - Monday 12/22/03 - 8:57:28 PM EST (GMT-5)
I need to find out what they say about my school...


University of Pennsylvania You were a hard-working wannabe cool kid, and now you are at the Ivy Leage equivalent of a rich, suburban high school, and all of the kids used to be too hard-working to be cool, so now you all pretend to be cool together. As long as Daddy keeps sending you money and you keep that coke habit in check, you're degree will mean something someday, even if none of your classes did.

That's not true, not even in the funny way. You only have to read our comedy magazine to find something hilarious and insulting to say about Penn.


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