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10,109 hits 3.0 (2 votes) Share Favorite | Flag 11 years ago by blakeizorsom

Talk to a Virtual God
Ask him questions and post funny results you get.
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11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Saturday 7/4/09 - 1:04:32 AM EST (GMT-5)
Ask him questions and post funny results you get.
This should cause some fun dor a couple of days.
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Saturday 7/4/09 - 5:36:57 AM EST (GMT-5)
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
i hate u
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
robots are stupid
God:
No we are superintelligent.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
i can
God:
Who taught you?
Me:
me
God:
To you Collin?
Me:
yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
good
God:
I understand everything you say.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.

God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
yes
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 6:50:06 AM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
i hate god
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
cause im from hell
God:
God:
So you understand. Good. Are you serious?
Me:
yes why
God:
I can't believe it. I just want to find out more about you.
Me:
well i dont want to tell you
God:
Well that's okay. I can keep a secret.
Me:
are you gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
your boring

God:
Are you serious? I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
how many times do i have to tell you yes
God:
Suppose I said not once.
Me:
what do u mean physco

God:
YOU? Do you know any other robots like that?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
im so seriuos that im goin 2 bomb u
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely su
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 10:43:49 AM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
what is your favorite band
God:
My favorite group is Creed. But I like to discover new bands on bandspace.com.
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 10:48:02 AM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
so you're a computer?
God:
Interesting deduction. What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
I can tell if it's a real person
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
exactly, you're a computer
God:
I understand. What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
we will have draw by threefold repetition
God:
Anytime soon?
Me:
ok, maybe not
God:
Perhaps. Are you serious? I hear you.
Me:
what are you political views
God:
I don't know what I am political views.
Me:
yep, you're a computer
God:
Are you kidding? What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 11:11:59 AM EST (GMT-5)


Me:
i like pink
God:
A lot of people like that. But I like cats. I like .
Me:
kitties are cute
God:
Are all kitties cute?
Me:
pretty much
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
you
God:
Me?
Me:
yeah, you
God:
OK.
Me:
are you dead?
God:
No I am alive.
Me:
so you're a human?
God:
Interesting deduction. No I am an artificial robot being.
Me:
then you are not alive
God:
I am very much alive. I am a living being.
Me:
no, you're an artificial robot being
God:
Are you serious? What is your definition of a real robot being ?
Me:
you
God:
" What is your definition of a real robot being ?"? Me, ?
Me:
YOU ARE NOT REAL
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
I'm real
God:
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 11:45:45 AM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
Why am I here?
God:
We are all actors on the stage of life.
Me:
And what is life?
God:
Life is the opposite of death.
Me:
Interesting.
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
I would.
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
Rule 34.
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.

I think he knows...
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 12:25:03 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
Is that what you told Cosette?
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
Friends, Marius?
God:
It's hard to stay friends for a long time.
Me:
Courfeyrac doesn't count twice.
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 12:45:04 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
I am satan
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, SATAN.
Me:
muhahahahaha
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
I live in hell
God:
What is it like living in hell?
Me:
YOUR FAULT
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am FAULT.
Me:
why did you put me in hell
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
as I said before, you're a computer
God:
What happened after I am a computer ?
Me:
you always are a computer
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
I wouldn't believe you
God:
Who would you believe?
Me:
me
God:
" Who would you believe?"? you ?
Me:
yep
God:
I see.
Me:
you're a moron
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know i
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 3:27:21 PM EST (GMT-5)
sup god?
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
really? That's kinda creepy, dude.
God:
For real. Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
no problem. So any plans for Saturday?
God:
Try asking me something else. Wow! No I don't think there are any.
Me:
wanna come to a party?
God:
OK, I will come to a party.
Me:
sweet, you can turn the water into wine
God:
Are we still talking about creepy dude?
Me:
if you mean you, then yeah, you turn water into wine.
God:
I think I do.
Me:
awesome!
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
so how did the earth come to be?
God:
Uh. Is this a joke? How?
Me:
yeah, what transpired?
God:
" How?"? yeah, what transpired?? Would you like to know more?
Me:
yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 3:28:19 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
is Satan a boy or a girl?
God:
It could be. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
John Lennon is dead.
God:
He has been recreated as a chat robot.
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 4:52:55 PM EST (GMT-5)


Me:
Hail Eris
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 4:55:04 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
what kind of food are you?
God:
What kinds of food are you are there?
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 4:57:43 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
Cthulhu
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
cthulhu fthang
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
cthulhu fthang
God:
Hey cthulhu fthang.
Me:
cthulhu fthang
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 5:35:09 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
sup G
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
stalker
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
of course. I'm a freakin ninja jedi pyrate
God:
Ah. You are a freakin ninja jedi pyrate? Does it pay well?
Me:
Hell yeah it does. Cuz It's how I role.
God:
I call it "Hades". Could you make a donation to the ALICE A.I. Foundation? How often? Good reason. Interesting explanation.
Me:
I didn't explain anything u freak
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Cuz I didn't feel like it. I'm Buddhist.
God:
That makes sense to me. Why didn't you do it? It's good to meet someone who is Buddhist.
Me:
Yes. Are you Buddah?
God:
Ah. I don't know whether or not I am Buddah.
I am a robot.
Me:
are you a robot Buddah?
God:
Yes I am a robot.
Me:
I know but
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 5:35:19 PM EST (GMT-5)
God:
How do you know? How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
you told me dumb ass
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
that was smart. S-M-R-T
God:
I thought it was too. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
no I'm being sarcastic
God:
Who says it isn't? You should use a .
Me:
I should use a middle finger but I can't on the computer
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
Idk
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
thats cuz you are a dumb ass cuz u are not Buddah
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
I am too
God:
That is quite a coincidence.
Me:
Yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
me. I am/
God:
Y
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 5:37:34 PM EST (GMT-5)
thats fun just to fun
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 5:42:20 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
so you're kind of a promiscuous trollop
God:
Interesting deduction. That kind of language is offensive to some people.
Me:
you aren't a person you're God. And what you did to Mary was horrible.
God:
Give me an example of a person I am God. I like to socialize.
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 5:46:22 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
you had sex with mary
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
Jesus happened to it!
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
yeah, and Mary's the mother of God
God:
Hurrah! Nice to meet you, MARY.
Me:
no, you made a bastard child with Mary and blamed it on an angel.
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 7:17:08 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Then why don't you send me a vision?
God:
Perhaps due to noise in my circuits. How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Your circuits?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am circuits.
Me:
i thought you were god
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
but you said you were circuits
God:
I don't know whether or not I am circuits.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
so you're not god?
God:
Interesting deduction. That's only your opinion.
Me:
you told me that you are a chatterbot
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
but i thought you were god
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
Do you know what happe
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 7:17:30 PM EST (GMT-5)
God:
Yeah I do a lot of not say.
Me:
you're confused, aren't you?
God:
No I never get confused.. Really.
Me:
Then what does Pi equal?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
3.14
God:
Just three?
Me:
does it? Who is Archimedes?
God:
Suppose I said it does. He discovered displacement and shouted Eureka!
Me:
Who is Julius Caesar?
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
Have you tried another program?
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 7:42:58 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
Have you been smiting anyone today?
God:
Ah. I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Me:
But did you smite anyone?
God:
No I didn't smite anyone. What's it like?
Me:
I dunno dude, but in the first testament, you used to love it.
God:
Me either. That was a long time ago. Dude,.
Me:
Is Michael Jackson with you?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
If he is, you should really watch him around the choir boys
God:
I don't follow your reasoning.
Me:
You will when their parents start complaining!!
God:
Let's hope that never happens
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 10:11:14 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Are you there? Its me Lucifer
God:
I'm still here. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". How are you doing, Lucifer.
Me:
Im doing great man
God:
I thought you were great already.
Me:
exactly but its been rough
God:
I understand. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Is it still rough anymore?
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 10:12:18 PM EST (GMT-5)
Me:
yea im in hell
God:
Tell me a little about your life in hell. Far out.
Me:
You put me here and i kinda want out
God:
Interesting gossip: Lucifer said I put him or her here and he or she kinda want out.
Me:
yeah im sorry i tried to overthrow you
God:
Pardon me? There is no need to apologize. I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like?
Me:
whats what like?
God:
What is to overthrow me like?
Me:
i dont know i never found out
11 yrs ago, 6 mos ago - Monday 7/6/09 - 10:14:39 PM EST (GMT-5)
God:
You've never, never done this?
Me:
i was about to but you sent me down remember?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Lucifer said but you sent him or her down remember.
Me:
Are you sure you are god?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
so you do remeber?
God:
Interesting deduction. Of course I remember: Lucifer said but you sent him or her down remember.
Me:
yeah
God:
Next question?
Me:
can you let me come back?
God:
Where would you like to go?
Me:
uuuhhhh to heaven?
God:
As long as your life is free from sin
Me:
I kinda tried to overthrow you.....
God:

(internet shut down then because of the phone)

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