Thanks chief, you really made my evening. I was just thinking a few days ago "Wow, it's been a while since anyone has stuck a gun in my face." Then you came along like a soft breeze in the night.

I think you did a pretty good job, however I could offer a few pointers.

1. After someone has turned out their pockets, that means they are empty.

2. If I don't have a wallet why would I have a bank card?

3. While I didn't have anything in them, I had more pockets than you checked.

4. People often times hide money/drugs in their shoes or socks. Make sure to check those on your next target.

5. A simple please and thank you are always welcome.

6. I can understand why you took my cellphone, you didn't want me calling the cops. But really, it's the only thing I had. Why not just strip the battery or something? I really needed that. Plus the thing is like 8 years old, you can't even sell it. Jerk.

7. Pick better targets, Occam razor might help here. If he looks poor then it leads to believe that he is poor. Why risk jail time, and serious time at that, over a poor guy? At least get some cash outta the deal.

8. By being a African American mugger you are really reinforcing stereotypes.

I hope this helps mugger, I really hope you are enjoying my phone. I kept calling but you won't pick up. I'm so sad :-(

Also, quick note to the cops. A guy at 3 in the morning jumping up and down and waving his arms in an X shape over his head needs help, he is NOT waving hello. But thanks for smiling and waving back, really made my night.

To the cars who wouldn't stop for me in south oakland, looking back I don't blame you. I hear there are criminals on the streets.  Joke Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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224 hits 2.5 (227 votes) Share Favorite | Flag 10 years ago by missbhaven

To The Guy Who Mugged Me

Thanks chief, you really made my evening. I was just thinking a few days ago "Wow, it's been a while since anyone has stuck a gun in my face." Then you came along like a soft breeze in the n (more)


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