An older woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening when she realized her husband was due home soon and she hadn't left dinner for him. Knowing how upset he got when he (more)
An older woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening when she realized her husband was due home soon and she hadn't left dinner for him. Knowing how upset he got when he didn't have his dinner on time, she exclaimed "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to really ticked if it's not ready on time!"
She rushed home, but when she got there she realized that she didn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she had in the refrigerator was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished
it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband pulled up.
She greeted her husband and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, the husband really enjoyed his dinner that evening. "Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in 40 years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day!"
Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her bridge cronies about it and they were all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed. But the woman insisted her husband loved it, and said she had no plans to stop.
Two months later, her husband died. The woman's bridge partners showed up at the funeral and pulled her aside. "You killed him!" they whispered. "We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the mantel while he was licking his butt."(less)