What is your take on dating a single parent? There is this girl that everyone is trying to set me up with that has two children. I find her to... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of _Jesse_ | mood: Anxious

Thoughts?

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3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 1:47:19 PM EST (GMT-5)
What is your take on dating a single parent? There is this girl that everyone is trying to set me up with that has two children. I find her to be attractive, but I’m not sure if I should pursue? It’d be different if I were dating a single mother while I’m like 30. But I’m currently 21. I don’t know, I’m sure that I am just exaggerating.

And it’s not that I don’t like children (because I do) it’s just that in order to make a good impression on her, I feel like I have to remember to get them something for their birthdays and Christmas. And yet I am a very broke college student.

Anyway, question is for people who are stepparents...what is it like?

3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 2:01:48 PM EST (GMT-5)
does she have the kids full time?
What’s the relation with the kids’ father?

You don’t have to be a role model at first. You’re dating. Just set your boundaries. Just be honest.
3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 2:06:10 PM EST (GMT-5)
If I were childless and single it would probably be a deal breaker. I’d have to be sure that if the two parents are sharing the custody that the children’s mother was someone I wanted in my life forever as well.
3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 2:06:31 PM EST (GMT-5)
I wouldn't do it, tbh.
3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 2:12:16 PM EST (GMT-5)
You're not going to be a step dad (at least not right away), so I would recommend not putting that kind of pressure on yourself. I'd say just go on a date and see how it goes. If it becomes more serious, you can cross that bridge when you come to it.
3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 2:13:11 PM EST (GMT-5)
That is, if you really are interested in giving it a shot.
3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 3:16:09 PM EST (GMT-5)
I don’t date single dads as a rule.

When you have a child that isn’t your partners, you always always always have to put your child before your partner. If you don’t, you are a piece of poo.


As opposed to when within a couple when the children are both of yours, who you put first it situation dependant.

I’m not really that into that, because since I don’t get the rewards of prenthood I don’t wanna pay that price.


Also when you break up, you break up with the kid too. That’s losing two people.


Heck that/
3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 3:27:31 PM EST (GMT-5)
I haven’t really spoken to her, it’s just someone that I’ve seen around often. Friends of mine have spoken highly of her and tried to persuade me to ask her out. And I also have considered about the kids’ father and how their relationship should indeed be a priority, if he is a good father to them. Thank you all for the insight, I think I might pass up this opportunity for the time being.
3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 3:37:53 PM EST (GMT-5)
You could always just go out with her and see how it goes between just the two of you. Who knows - she may not even want you to meet her kids right away.

The older you get, the more people have kids (obviously), and I know a fair few single parents who avoid having a new potential romantic person meet the kids for a LONG time...or just introduce them gradually, as a friend. Because SJ is not wrong; if you're heavily involved, a breakup involves the kids, too.

If it's not an issue with kids in general, I maybe wouldn't write her off just because she has them. But if I were going to date a person with kids, I would for sure want to know their relationship with the other parent first. You don't want to get into something and then end up having to deal with some crazy guy.
3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 4:09:47 PM EST (GMT-5)
If you’re unsure, don’t do it.
3 months ago - Wednesday 8/7/19 - 5:13:08 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Wednesday 8/7/19 - 4:09:47 PM bgraham23 wrote:
If you’re unsure, don’t do it.


Honestly I’m always unsure of any new experience I may come across. Sometimes, I just have to get over my fear and try. But I may make an exception for this case.

On Wednesday 8/7/19 - 3:37:53 PM birdsong4j wrote:
But if I were going to date a person with kids, I would for sure want to know their relationship with the other parent first. You don't want to get into something and then end up having to deal with some crazy guy.


I agree that this is a MUST.

3 months ago - Thursday 8/8/19 - 10:29:09 AM EST (GMT-5)
Ewwww....why would you even consider dating a single mom? I can’t even!!
3 months ago - Thursday 8/8/19 - 10:55:31 AM EST (GMT-5)
Just exploring my options. There’s no harm in that.
3 months ago - Thursday 8/8/19 - 1:13:05 PM EST (GMT-5)
That would be a hard "no" from me, chief.
3 months ago - Thursday 8/8/19 - 2:24:50 PM EST (GMT-5)
Nah. I've been on a few dates with guys who had kids. Decided to discontinue because I didn't want any kids of my own, so why sign up for caretaking of other kids (if all worked out for a long term relationship).
Seems to work out best when both parties are single parents and it's a Brady Bunch situation.
3 months ago - Thursday 8/8/19 - 2:28:09 PM EST (GMT-5)
I keep interacting with kidded singles because all normal singles move to a city if they don’t have a child holding them back.
3 months ago - Thursday 8/8/19 - 3:04:57 PM EST (GMT-5)
Fortunately, at my age, the kids are usually all grown (as are mine) so then it's just visiting not caretaking. I did this when younger and would just emphasize agreement with the idea that it really is an advantage if both parents co- parent effectively and none of the parties are psycho.
3 months ago - Thursday 8/8/19 - 3:23:24 PM EST (GMT-5)
My brother dated a single mom once! She was really angry with him for some reason so she let the baby urinate in his face. Single parents get CRAZY bro
3 months ago - Thursday 8/8/19 - 3:29:30 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/8/19 - 3:23:24 PM Prodigal wrote:
My brother dated a single mom once! She was really angry with him for some reason so she let the baby urinate in his face. Single parents get CRAZY bro

hey welcome back man
3 months ago - Thursday 8/8/19 - 4:02:31 PM EST (GMT-5)
I wouldn't date a single mother as a 21 year old, if I were a man.
You don't just date the woman, you date the family, and any crazy ex she has. Even if she doesn't introduce you to her kids, they'll still play a huge part in the relationship.
3 months ago - Thursday 8/8/19 - 4:54:19 PM EST (GMT-5)
I think I have decided to pass. It’s just tough to not have very many prospects where I live. It’s like God literally spoonfed all of my friends in giving them spouses. Oh well, I suppose my time will come. Thank you all once again for your input in this thread.



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