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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:41:55 PM EST (GMT-5)
I think that's kinda my stage of life right now. Just every single day, I eat away more at myself to make it so that the next day I can wake up to eat a little more away.
I am so sick of this "female conundrum" that I have. I just cannot connect to ANY of them. I can't connect with them because I cannot trust ANY of them. I mean, I'm approaching 10 years now... 10 years of being f*ckin' used and tossed to the side. 10 years of not being needed, and getting the shelf. 10 years of "I just want to be friends so I can bang other dudes". 10 years of sacrificing all I had on someones for nothing. 10 years of retarded ass double speak and backtracking. 10 years of being ineffective against guarding my heart. 10 years of them all being the f*cking same, no matter how different they are. 10 years of nothing to show but a gaping f*ckin' void in my life that just will not be fulfilled. 10 years that I wish could be spent on something MUCH more deserving.
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:42:29 PM EST (GMT-5)
Give up.
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:42:59 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 8/14/2006 10:42:29 PM Maozedong wrote:
Give up. |
Tried that, just doesn't f*cking work. |
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:43:00 PM EST (GMT-5)
Keep going!
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:43:27 PM EST (GMT-5)
Dude, you're 25. You start your female conundrum at 15? That's not really fair. You're not in "relationship mode" at 15. You're in "play around" mode.
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:44:29 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 8/14/2006 10:43:27 PM spoonerism wrote:
Dude, you're 25. You start your female conundrum at 15? That's not really fair. You're not in "relationship mode" at 15. You're in "play around" mode. |
If we REALLY want to be fair about it, it started at age 8. But, yes, 15... And I don't care if it was fair or not, because she sure as f*ck wasn't. |
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:45:38 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 8/14/2006 10:43:00 PM Kepi wrote:
On 8/14/2006 10:42:29 PM Maozedong wrote: Give up. Tried that, just doesn't f*cking work. |
You haven't tried it then. You've thought of trying it. Heavens to Betsy- Just have friends and masturbation. |
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:46:33 PM EST (GMT-5)
Yeah, I agree with you, Kepi, it sounds like you're just going through a stage. Sorry, I can be of much help, I normally turn to Alcohol in times like that  |
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:46:38 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 8/14/2006 10:45:39 PM Maozedong wrote:
On 8/14/2006 10:43:00 PM Kepi wrote: On 8/14/2006 10:42:29 PM Maozedong wrote: Give up. Tried that, just doesn't f*cking work. You haven't tried it then. You've thought of trying it. Heavens to Betsy- Just have friends and masturbation. |
I've been trying to give up for an eternity now... But I just keep eating myself alive. |
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:47:10 PM EST (GMT-5)
Alcohol just makes me feel lonely. And that's terrible... To be in a room full of people and just feel f*cking lonely.
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:48:39 PM EST (GMT-5)
I just want to say thanks for talking sense into my sister's head the other day.  |
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:49:56 PM EST (GMT-5)
It was no problem. Good to know I maybe able to reason people to get the f*ck off my planet someday.
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:52:06 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 8/14/2006 10:47:10 PM Kepi wrote:
Alcohol just makes me feel lonely. And that's terrible... To be in a room full of people and just feel f*cking lonely. |
Well, have you tried mixing it with Nicotine or some other drug? Honestly, when I've got the blues, it normally works itself out. If that is the case with you, finding a drug to sooth the pain in the mean time would be my very best advice. No, it doesn't solve the problem, but it will help the pain in the times when there is nothing you can to do fix the problem. |
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:53:39 PM EST (GMT-5)
Nicotine is a constant for me, actually. And it's getting worse.
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:57:47 PM EST (GMT-5)
Maybe you need to up your does. CIgars or Smokeless tobacco can do WONDERS to make that little buzz a BIG bizz! And of course, there are always some less then legal routes... |
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 10:59:11 PM EST (GMT-5)
Seriously, I'm to the point where I smoke until I'm pretty nauseated.
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 11:02:17 PM EST (GMT-5)
Seriously, then you need to start going for Quaility over quantity. Find a Cigar shop, and get a few Padron's. Or get some Copenhagen (remimber not to swallow)
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 11:03:08 PM EST (GMT-5)
Dude, it's not quality... I'll smoke and smoke and smoke until my lungs collapse. It's finding a reason NOT to smoke so much... That'd be significant.
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 11:08:52 PM EST (GMT-5)
Yeah, I know.  And I wish I could help. You have already figured out your problem, now it is time for you to solve it |
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 11:16:46 PM EST (GMT-5)
That's just it. I don't know how to solve it. I try to make smarter selections, I try to make better rules, I try to make it all work... And it never effing does. It's just a bunch of f*ck-ups out there, and I just happen to be one of them. It's NEVER f*ckin' worked for me, and I can't even begin to expound upon the full extent of the problem. It's like a girl starts out normal, sane, and stable... And within two months, she's been demon posessed to do the things that will hurt me the most.
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 11:20:30 PM EST (GMT-5)
I know you can't give up. You want fulfillment. You want some girl who's going to inspire you to stay on the planet and believe there's such a thing as a trusting companion. Whores won't do. Flings won't do. Friends you can f*ck may be a temporary solution, but it doesn't seem to happen. You're going to keep looking.You're not going to give up because you're not the type. I dunno. Set yourself up for this potential future mate. Become the type of person that perfectly suits the person you want to find, if you're not that already. |
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 11:29:34 PM EST (GMT-5)
Kepi, I've been there...but have hope man
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 11:31:21 PM EST (GMT-5)
My bets are pretty much hedged on someone hitting me with a mack truck. That's probably the best possible outcome.
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 11:37:15 PM EST (GMT-5)
Then having one of the nurses at the hospital fall madly in love with you?
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6 yrs ago, 9 mos ago - Monday 8/14/06 - 11:37:50 PM EST (GMT-5)
On 8/14/2006 11:37:15 PM InstinctSage wrote:
Then having one of the nurses at the hospital fall madly in love with you? |
See? It can work? |
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