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From the Journal of yelena216 | mood: Good
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Monday 1/16/06 - 11:52:43 PM EST (GMT-5)
and now i'm enjoying them. damn, why does tea never get old?
i'm going to ask my friend to give me a few of her next baby sitting jobs, i need some cash, PRONTO. i bought A LOT of stuff today. panties, bras, a bag, pair of KANGAROOS, and I WANT MOREEEE. buying cool things and reading seem to truly the only things that makes me consistently happy...
Bleh, I think way too much.
Today involved like... 4 huge emotional breakdowns, it's pretty crazy. And I don't even feel the need to mention them or talk about them anymore. I think a lot, but I no longer feel the need to share them with anyone. I'm trying to accept my lonliness.
oh oh oh oh, and i also bough a huge box of tampons since I"m the only one in my house that bleeds anymore I need to start buying my own.. grawr.
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 12:00:19 AM EST (GMT-5)
I want tea.
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 12:01:26 AM EST (GMT-5)
What kind?
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 12:11:37 AM EST (GMT-5)
Green tea..
or mint. My stomach hurts right now, so I think mint would help.
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 12:15:38 AM EST (GMT-5)
I like chai...and that is all I can possibly contribute to this thread.
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 12:18:02 AM EST (GMT-5)
I have a sh*tload of tea I want to buy. Anybody up for the challenge?
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 12:21:15 AM EST (GMT-5)
I love to buy things and drink tea. I bought some new things tonight, it was awesome. Having a source of income rules hxc
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 12:28:14 AM EST (GMT-5)
I have hot cinnamon sunset tea. Hello, to you. And also. I feel your emotional pain, sistah. |
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 1:02:11 AM EST (GMT-5)
On 1/17/2006 12:11:37 AM skittlekitty wrote:
Green tea.. or mint. My stomach hurts right now, so I think mint would help. |
I've got some!!! It didn't come in the package, but I stole it from panda express today. Good news for the tea loving community of Glendale: the russian teahouse is opening back up!
On 1/17/2006 12:28:15 AM junkiedrunk wrote:
I have hot cinnamon sunset tea. Hello, to you. And also. I feel your emotional pain, sistah. |
Ohhhh I hate how this sounds but really junky, i really feel like I don't have the will to go on. |
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 1:06:51 AM EST (GMT-5)
Why do you think that is? I was reading some of your recent-past journals and I am putting myself in your place and I am tearing up at your offhand comments that are usually misplaced and temporary, but I feel them strongly. It's because I know that you are a budding poet. A poet, not in the sense of one who writes poetry, but of one who sees the world more clearly and fine-lined, tuned, advanced, sudden, shockingly. And it is loneliness. |
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 1:15:37 AM EST (GMT-5)
Wow, that brough me to tears, thank you. But then again, I break into tears at just about anything nowadays. I'm 17 soon, and I really think 16 has been a total coming of age, an epiphany really with me. I can't stand the world the more I see it, its just too painful. Everyone is so f*cking HUMAN and it's so f*cking awful, even the sh*tties of people are suffering far far too much just because of the way they are. I look at everything personally, and I try to feel everyone's emotion, all their personal stories and tradgedies. I want to help people, not in the regular way, community service and unions and crap, but emotionally. I jsut want everyone to be happy SO BADLY, and I know that some never will be. My mom came into right now and brough my apple pie because she said I've been crying to much today and apoligized for one of the times being her fault today and I keep staring at this apple pie that I can't eat and I just cannot stop crying. |
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 1:20:36 AM EST (GMT-5)
And I just f*cking tried to eat some of it so I wouldn't hurt her feelings, and the fork I was trying to use broke IN HALF and the paper plate made it fly EVERYWHERE, whipped cream and apple all over my desk and bathrobe and newly washed hair and oh my god that moment just summarizes everything to f*cking perfectly and i can't stand it.
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 1:35:02 AM EST (GMT-5)
I don't think it has much to do with your age. It has a lot to do with reading and gaining knowledge of how things really are. You should read The Art of Happiness. Or you shouldn't. I'm not sure if it would intensify those feelings of compassion that you have for others, or dilute them. For me, it just brought light to the fact that the only thing that matters in this life is the connections you form with the people you meet every day. I know that moment so well. It's the climax of the thing, and you're just at staring at the endpoint, totally aloof to how the story started. |
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 2:14:26 AM EST (GMT-5)
I don't think it has anything to do with age either, I honestly don't know a single person I can think of that comes even close to understanding other than you, and hell I'll never even come close to meeting you. My boyfriend just called and wants to know why I'm crying and I tried to tell him and he's trying to make me feel better, and so did my mom, and it's just so so so futile, they don't get it at ALL. Or maybe my mom gets it somewhat, but she has the viewpoint of the fighter, the survivor, whereas I'm just much weaker. And I will be looking up that book tomorrow. Maybe it'll be of some use. |
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 2:29:10 AM EST (GMT-5)
17 was awful for me. It really, really was.
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 2:36:35 AM EST (GMT-5)
What do you think they are trying to "get"?
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 2:40:24 AM EST (GMT-5)
"And I don't even feel the need to mention them or talk about them anymore. I think a lot, but I no longer feel the need to share them with anyone. I'm trying to accept my lonliness." Ive heard that talk before. from myself.... i guess. |
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SelfInflictd
Female,
18-29
Eastern US
Joined: 7 yrs, 4 mos ago
94 Posts
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7 yrs ago, 4 mos ago - Tuesday 1/17/06 - 3:37:47 AM EST (GMT-5)
"and i also bough a huge box of tampons since I"m the only one in my house that bleeds anymore I need to start buying my own" i feel your pain there. my grandma offers to buy me pads but she comes home with these HUGE mega super omnipads so i buy my own.
i should use tampons, i'm getting really annoyed with pads. |
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