Ok people I know I act like the sarcastic, all knowing, self assured bitch. But I am everything but. I have had manic depression all my life. But ever since... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
Questions
Quizzes
Articles
My Journal
Forums
Quests. | Journs. | Gen. | News | Quiz | Links | TV | Music | Movies | Games | Sports | Sug. | Lit. | Jokes | Artcls. | Newb | O.S.
From the Journal of Savannah05 | mood: Depressed

I Can`t Seem To Snap Out Of It

Back to Thread List
Bottom Last Post

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:28:35 AM EST (GMT-5)
Ok people I know I act like the sarcastic, all knowing, self assured bitch. But I am everything but. I have had manic depression all my life. But ever since the move and my meds are gone and the changing of everything, my surrounding, the loss of my close friends, and my mom and sister's, I just can't cope with it all. I can't stop crying all the time. I have to take breaks to hole up in the bathroom in work and just cry. and on top of everything my ex tells me he loves me and misses me. and i have his future babies mother mad at me (whom he left at 7 months pregnant for ANOTHER former ex whom I have hated long before I knew him). And this stupid bitch, erica (the one my ex left the pregnant girlfriend for) has the audacity to IM and be like "guess what I have chris here" it's like you dumb bitch he went to you because he couldn't get to me. Oooh what a prize a guy with 2 kids on the way (she's pregnant too) and no job, and warrant for his arrest. cont.
14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:30:02 AM EST (GMT-5)
Wow. That guy personifies scumbaginess.
14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:30:50 AM EST (GMT-5)
Sav.
That pic is ADORABLE!!!
Who is it?
14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:31:27 AM EST (GMT-5)
And I don't know just everything is just too much and I can't keep dulling the pain and overdosing myself with my meds than running out of them and having horrible anxiety attacks.

I just don't know what to do. I am still in love with my ex for reasons I don't know he's obviously a loser. and I feel so bad for his girlfriend even though he cheated on me with her she's all alone and 7 months pregnant. god hes such a horrible person...

and then there's everything else

I just don't want to feel like this anymore. It's like a weight on my chest that never alleviates.

Sorry for the angsty vent. But that is what I really needed to do.

any advice

honest advice?

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:31:42 AM EST (GMT-5)
On 12/1/2005 12:30:50 AM jeni_s wrote:
Sav. That pic is ADORABLE!!! Who is it?

my beautiful niece
14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:32:36 AM EST (GMT-5)
Sounds like you are better off without him anyway.
14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:32:44 AM EST (GMT-5)
On 12/1/2005 12:30:02 AM THMmilitia wrote:
Wow. That guy personifies scumbaginess.

I second that.

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:33:08 AM EST (GMT-5)
On 12/1/2005 12:31:43 AM Savannah05 wrote:
On 12/1/2005 12:30:50 AM jeni_s wrote: Sav. That pic is ADORABLE!!! Who is it? my beautiful niece

Well
She rocks!
I have a pic of my little brother when he was 3 standing on my bed, wearing my beanie, and making that hand gesture, and sticking out his tounge.
He is the coolest kid!
And now hes almost 5.
(sadly I dont have that pic on my computer, nor do I have a scanner to get it on to here)
14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:35:26 AM EST (GMT-5)
Sav.
I think if it would make you feel better, if there is anything nice you can do the the 7 month pregnant ex, and just try to forget about that guy.
He isnt worth you, or any of the children he is about to have.
14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:35:45 AM EST (GMT-5)
But it's not just him, I mean clearly he's a big part of it... and I resent that he can still have this much of an impact on my life

but it's the lonliness for my mother (sad I know lol) and my closest sister danielle and my friends

and all the girls I work with hate me b/c the guys all hit on me... so I am always alone and my sister is pregnant and internalizes all her pain and frusturation and expects me to also because that is how she was raised (I was raised by my mother, she was raised by my father) or we lived in the same homes as them lol I don't know if either of us were raised. plus I don't want to stress out my pregnant sister anymore then she already is with her husband in Iraq and being pregnant and alone

I just have so much pent up that I don't know what to do with it. And I am scared of what I am going to do because I have horrible coping skills (no I am not threatening suicide that is dumb) ... but I am just really... scared.

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:37:29 AM EST (GMT-5)
On 12/1/2005 12:35:27 AM jeni_s wrote:
Sav. I think if it would make you feel better, if there is anything nice you can do the the 7 month pregnant ex, and just try to forget about that guy. He isnt worth you, or any of the children he is about to have.

but it's like I feel bad for her b/c I know how much pain she is going through plus she is pregnant... but he cheated on me with her when she got pregnant when she KNEW we were together... not to mention she'll take him back...

she allows herself to be used... like I did for 3 years.

but the caring side of me just wants to reach out to her because only I know what she is going through you know with me being his last ex.

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:37:54 AM EST (GMT-5)
i agree with jeni, forget about the guy for a start.

maybe spend more time with your sister? help her whilst she is pregnant and while her guy is away.

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 12:42:38 AM EST (GMT-5)
that is why I am here fasty

to help her

I help her, take care of her 3 year old daughter, work and then have to deal with all my other bullsh*t and it's just too much.

I don't have coping skills so it's like yeah there is point A and then getting to point B. I understand that but it's the getting there that's the problem I just breakdown. I don't know what to do with myself anymore I can't keep feeling like this and crying all the time.

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 1:50:02 AM EST (GMT-5)
I am an idiot....

in my emotional crazyness

I left a message on erica's phone

wtf was I thinking?

omg is there anyway I can erase that?

holy f*ck

I am sooo dumb

I just wanted to talk to him to say wtf is he doing because I know I am the only one who can talk sense into him. why am I involving myself in this drama?

wtf

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 1:59:55 AM EST (GMT-5)
go to a doctor, get some meds,

and get over the guy, he's an ass

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 2:00:35 AM EST (GMT-5)
On 12/1/2005 1:59:55 AM sammy wrote:
go to a doctor, get some meds, and get over the guy, he's an ass

insurance my darling

that takes insurance

something my poor ass does not have in georgia

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Thursday 12/1/05 - 2:03:50 AM EST (GMT-5)
hey, dumb idea, but if you are free...I have an offer.

I'm throwing a New Years party for all my friends who are going to be stuck in Savannah. It'll be mostly friends and DJs from the radio station, but it should be a good time. If you would like to get out that night you are welcome to come by.

14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Tuesday 12/6/05 - 2:57:17 PM EST (GMT-5)
thank you for caring
14 yrs ago, 5 mos ago - Sunday 12/18/05 - 12:30:57 AM EST (GMT-5)
What kind of medication do you take?

Don't stay alone too much... Sometimes people isolate themself...




This thread is locked (No new posts can be added)

Back to Thread List
Top

 
Edit