You know that scene in the last Matrix movie where Agent Smith asks: "Is it over?" Yeah I feel that way about this pandemic. I really wish things would go... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of EhFahQ | mood: Depressed

Hi. It`s been X days

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5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 12:24:04 PM EST (GMT-5)
You know that scene in the last Matrix movie where Agent Smith asks: "Is it over?"

Yeah I feel that way about this pandemic. I really wish things would go back to some semblance of normal.

Work is work. Life is life. I am tired. Anxiety and depression are kicking my ass. I had to get off my meds because I was falling asleep while being totally coherent. Almost fell asleep while driving. Pretty much like narcolepsy. My psychiatrist was the worst. Not having meetings really sucks too. I miss my CODA and NAMI groups.

So I am getting back to a baseline until I can start new meds. Really fun times. Don't really want to be here anymore.

I am a few days away from finishing my 1 year photography goal. One picture a day for an entire year. I have a nice portfolio now.

5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 12:25:53 PM EST (GMT-5)
Been playing drums and some bass lately. Almost done building my electronic drum set. Just got a new drum brain in the mail yesterday.

I started playing Rock Band 4 again. Joined a top crew and we came in 3rd place last season. They are 2 month seasons and that was pretty dang cool. Then it got hectic and people are toxic when they get competitive, so I changed it up and joined a lower tier crew. I like the guys so far.

Cassie is doing good, she is getting old though. I hope she lives forever. I still have one cat, Suds. He is a happy little butthead.

Going to post pictures now for the 3 people that still visit this site.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 12:30:25 PM EST (GMT-5)














5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 12:33:55 PM EST (GMT-5)










5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 12:36:47 PM EST (GMT-5)






5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 12:39:35 PM EST (GMT-5)
Micro.

I like it.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 12:48:23 PM EST (GMT-5)
X=113
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 12:49:06 PM EST (GMT-5)
Shouldn’t that variable be t?
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 12:49:40 PM EST (GMT-5)
The line that keeps resonating with me during this time is "When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake. With insomnia, nothing's real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy."

...except it's not When you have insomnia, it's During a pandemic...
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 12:57:58 PM EST (GMT-5)
I look at small things with a camera at work.

It understands x y and z and usually doesn’t look very pretty.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 1:02:30 PM EST (GMT-5)
Since I am mostly an introvert, I really don't mind the social distancing, and being away from the few friends I have.

It's being fearful of going to the store because I might get my dad sick and kill him. It's the agro people everywhere. And all of my meetings are zoom meetings and I really can't stand doing a online call with more than 1 person at a time.

I really like wearing the masks. I think I am going to even after things finally calm down. I don't feel like a dick by avoiding people anymore, so that's nice too.

I would like to travel again. I am letting my 100 dollar JetBlue credit expire because I can't handle going on a plane right now and going to a new place where most things are closed.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 1:37:23 PM EST (GMT-5)
Call and see if they'll extend your credit due to COVID. Southwest did for me
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 1:54:38 PM EST (GMT-5)
You really have an eye for what makes an interesting picture.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 2:04:55 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/13/20 - 1:37:23 PM postallbear wrote:
Call and see if they'll extend your credit due to COVID. Southwest did for me


I probably should. They just moved their hub from the small Long Beach airport to LAX. Which totally sucks, that's why I liked Jet Blue.

I pretty much don't care about the money. I was supposed to go to Seattle last year with an ex-girlfriend, and we broke up. I wasn't expecting to get anything back from her ticket.

I want to go to Oregon. I was supposed to go see a band in Portland in last April, but that all got cancelled.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 2:10:26 PM EST (GMT-5)
Yeah, i was supposed to fly to San Diego two weeks ago and that got cancelled. It was only $200 but what the hell. I'll fly within the next 18 months if things are back to some kind of norm
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 2:11:19 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/13/20 - 1:54:38 PM Rag_Doll_ wrote:
You really have an eye for what makes an interesting picture.


I really appreciate that :)

I have only being doing it for a year so far. I take time every morning to be creative and work on one picture. One day I will get a proper camera, but then it turns into a whole thing and I really just need something easy.

Lately it has been hard taking them. Just don't really want to leave my room or my girlfriends apartment, so I have been going through backlogs of pictures from the entire year.

I did get a good one on our walk last night. Reminds me of the Alfred Hitchcock hour. Check out the face.

5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 2:27:06 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/13/20 - 2:10:26 PM postallbear wrote:
Yeah, i was supposed to fly to San Diego two weeks ago and that got cancelled. It was only $200 but what the hell. I'll fly within the next 18 months if things are back to some kind of norm


If it's a short flight I wouldn't mind too much. We were supposed to go to Cape Cod last month, and that was just not going to happen. I can't handle a long flight.

While I don't mind the masks much, I do need a break every hour or so. Otherwise my anxiety really spikes because I feel too confined.
If that makes sense. That's why I canceled all my tattoo plans for this year. I can't sit for 4 hours with a mask on.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 2:50:56 PM EST (GMT-5)
These are not taken with a proper camera?!

What sorcery are you using because these are great pictures.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 3:00:20 PM EST (GMT-5)
It's just a Samsung S9+ phone camera. It's a really good camera.

I want to keep this phone for a long time since the camera is so good.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 5:59:51 PM EST (GMT-5)
You are still using a phone camera? And still getting pictures this great? Wow...

But besides the quality of these pictures you really have an eye for it. I could never take a picture of just the ground and make it look like art. Do you have to look at these things for a while before you decided to take the pic?

Regarding masks, I have already decided that if and when Covid ever goes away, I will keep my masks and use them during the Winter. I think over in Asia it is kind of the norm. It is just this muggy heat down here in the south that makes the mask so uncomfortable right now. It feels so smothering. But I just do it...I have people to protect.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 6:01:33 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/13/20 - 3:00:20 PM EhFahQ wrote:
It's just a Samsung S9+ phone camera. It's a really good camera. I want to keep this phone for a long time since the camera is so good.

I have the Samsung s10e - i dig it & the camera is surprisingly good, actually.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 8:27:12 PM EST (GMT-5)
I find the more I think about it, the less I like the picture. So I usually just see something, snap 2 or 3 pictures, and the next day I crop the picture and put it out there.

My only rule is that I won't stage anything. It is what it is. If I can't get the picture because of lighting or my own shadow, then I can't get it. I won't move anything around. It has to be natural.

Just like life. Things don't always work and that's ok. You can't stage your life and pretend like it's true. Sometimes you get in your own way, and you have to deal with it. The more you over think it, the worse it gets.

Thats why it's my art therapy project. It's the only therapy I have at the moment.

Thanks for the kind words. And for wearing a mask.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 8:36:03 PM EST (GMT-5)
If you want to see more, my instagram is @douglaspowerss

I also have a Flickr, but I haven't updated it a bit. I will on the 18th and ill post a link then.
5 months ago - Thursday 8/13/20 - 9:03:36 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/13/20 - 8:36:03 PM EhFahQ wrote:
If you want to see more, my instagram is @douglaspowerss I also have a Flickr, but I haven't updated it a bit. I will on the 18th and ill post a link then.

I'll vouch- it's good.
4 months ago - Tuesday 8/18/20 - 9:56:18 AM EST (GMT-5)
https://flic.kr/go/3f79Jp

That's the link to my flickr group. You can also add your own pictures. I am the only person in that group since nobody really uses flickr anymore. Kinda like this site.

All my pictures for the last year are on there. Tomorrow I complete my 1 year goal. Feeling proud about that, and that's a feeling I don't get very often anymore.

My NAMI connections facilitator class starts soon. It's going to be nice to give back and try and help other people. Also it will be good to have a male facilitator, since very few men come to the meetings.

It's ok to not be ok.

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