It’s been okay. The holidays have just been bumpy. I had two here. Two on. One here tomorrow then two more on. Confusing really. Just lacking the week’s normal momentum.... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of amaqdrinker | mood: Good

Decathlon of stresslympics!

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24 days ago - Wednesday 1/1/20 - 2:02:41 AM EST (GMT-5)
It’s been okay.

The holidays have just been bumpy. I had two here. Two on. One here tomorrow then two more on.

Confusing really. Just lacking the week’s normal momentum. But I’ve had to do bursts of work. I’m looking backwards at it now and it’s less incoherent. It’s more of refining than retracing steps.

Boss gave me more positive feedback today. I think there’s room for improvement. But I think it’s moving in the right direction in his eyes.

We’ll see. This is officially year one with the company coming up in February. I think my boss is thinking progress leads to more progress.

But of course everyone in the world might just be lying to me.

Work is all I do.

23 days ago - Wednesday 1/1/20 - 4:05:48 PM EST (GMT-5)
No but really I’m only on medication because I have issues dealing with stress. Without stresses I’m usually pretty content. My manic depressive episodes are almost always a response to stimulus and if I can manage my stress levels I can usually manage my symptoms.

So I’m a cry baby.

Or a pig in a cage on antibiotics like my Ok Computer poster says.
22 days ago - Thursday 1/2/20 - 1:15:23 PM EST (GMT-5)



Gin and a trophy make me feel slightly better. But photographic evidence of clutter is unnerving.
21 days ago - Friday 1/3/20 - 10:46:21 AM EST (GMT-5)
I suddenly got sick and all stresses just kind of took a back seat and the mental break from it was nice, even though I was physically in agony. All I could be concerned with was how bad I felt physically. Now I am getting better and the stress comes back.
21 days ago - Saturday 1/4/20 - 1:39:43 AM EST (GMT-5)
Oh and I sent out a test indeed resume this weekend and they already got back to me interested in an interview.

I think I’m going to cancel the interview because I’m still busy where I am. But it’s good to know my resume looks okay.

Damsel. I know what you mean. My foot was sore because I stepped on a nail and being hobbled for a day or two was a welcome distraction.
20 days ago - Saturday 1/4/20 - 9:23:30 PM EST (GMT-5)
“ I would be more interested in a phone screening to get a better idea of what the job entails. I’m not actively seeking to change jobs at this point but was just exploring options. The starting salary or shift that I would be working would be helpful.

Please let me know if other arrangements could be made for me to get a clearer picture of this opportunity prior to moving forward.”

Is that a good cancel interview email?
20 days ago - Saturday 1/4/20 - 9:32:34 PM EST (GMT-5)
You should go ahead and do an actual interview if they aren't going to phone screen you. It will be good practice for you...
20 days ago - Saturday 1/4/20 - 9:36:09 PM EST (GMT-5)
Ugh. But. Morning. And people.

And I stress too much as it is.

What if they offer me a job?
20 days ago - Saturday 1/4/20 - 9:38:58 PM EST (GMT-5)
If it's a better opportunity, take it.

DOn't stress about it- - you really have nothing to lose, do you? Aside from maybe a half day's vacation time.
20 days ago - Saturday 1/4/20 - 9:44:46 PM EST (GMT-5)
I don’t know. It’s kind of a balancing act in the position I’m in now. Partly due to the company being so small.

There’s definitely a heavy handed politics in my current role.

It might add tension to go and interview somewhere else. I didn’t tell my boss that I got a response. I mentioned it to my shift’s supervisor.

It’s honestly just good news that someone responded that quickly. There were years of sending resumes into a void. Like during the six months I was on unemployment with zero interest from employers.

This company has invested quite a bit in me. If I’m stressed out it’s just because they’re giving me opportunity.

My boss mentioned a raise just this week. I think it’s safer to say that I appreciate it but now is not the time.
20 days ago - Saturday 1/4/20 - 9:45:48 PM EST (GMT-5)
I already sent that email btw.
20 days ago - Saturday 1/4/20 - 9:47:24 PM EST (GMT-5)
It's been a struggle for us finding decent people- - it's currently a great time for finding jobs...
20 days ago - Saturday 1/4/20 - 11:15:32 PM EST (GMT-5)
I think I’m afraid of doing okay.

I just haven’t been okay for basically ever.
19 days ago - Sunday 1/5/20 - 4:06:35 PM EST (GMT-5)
I guess *society* says that I have to *clean* myself.
19 days ago - Sunday 1/5/20 - 4:28:30 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Sunday 1/5/20 - 4:06:35 PM amaqdrinker wrote:
I guess *society* says that I have to *clean* myself.


...at least do it for the person sitting next to you on the airplane.
19 days ago - Sunday 1/5/20 - 4:33:01 PM EST (GMT-5)
I drive cars by myself and talk infrequently.
19 days ago - Sunday 1/5/20 - 4:57:11 PM EST (GMT-5)
Don't you love the way you feel after a nice shower? So relaxed, so comfy, so...clean!
19 days ago - Sunday 1/5/20 - 6:18:23 PM EST (GMT-5)
I miss showering high. One of my more favourite things to do while under the influence.
19 days ago - Sunday 1/5/20 - 7:42:43 PM EST (GMT-5)
Yes I’m clean and it feels nice.

Not high. Just hungover.
18 days ago - Tuesday 1/7/20 - 12:02:47 AM EST (GMT-5)
I didn’t even get a response from my follow up email. Still the same situation of being made out to be a subordinate above anything else. Attempting to communicate beyond or questioning their authority is prohibited. No conversation. No mutual respect. Carrot in front of horse. Jump. How high.

I honestly think it’s kind of criminal in nature.
18 days ago - Tuesday 1/7/20 - 12:03:33 AM EST (GMT-5)
I must not be *clean* enough.
18 days ago - Tuesday 1/7/20 - 12:53:06 AM EST (GMT-5)
I think you read too much into things.
18 days ago - Tuesday 1/7/20 - 2:01:53 AM EST (GMT-5)
I think you read too through things.
17 days ago - Tuesday 1/7/20 - 10:31:46 AM EST (GMT-5)
You can over analyze any number of things or you could quit smoking and shower more. I'm guessing the latter would help and the former just keeps you awake at night.
17 days ago - Tuesday 1/7/20 - 11:16:45 AM EST (GMT-5)
They emailed me saying they’d be interested in a phone call.

That just means they’re following my online activity.

Another place has now contacted me twice through Indeed.

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