Work was intense as usual this week. Sorry. This is another work journal. I asked about an evaluation. It’s coming up on a year since they brought me on from... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of amaqdrinker | mood: Good

Additional stress on top of your stress.

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3 months ago - Saturday 12/7/19 - 12:21:54 AM EST (GMT-5)
Work was intense as usual this week. Sorry. This is another work journal.

I asked about an evaluation. It’s coming up on a year since they brought me on from the staffing agency. I don’t know.

It’s such a small business. I’m not sure how they structure that. When I say evaluation I am wondering if they should be paying me more money.

My boss followed up by having us record a schedule of our day. It was actually nice. It helped me stress less to look at a map of how much time I have to do things.

The last place I worked at had something like that. That was calculated though. As an efficiency rating. That was competitiveness that made that fun.

But it’s just sometimes not having all the answers that makes me get out of my head.

That’s what really frustrates me.

Communication on an off shift is abysmal so. The echo chamber is real.

I need another beer.

3 months ago - Saturday 12/7/19 - 6:05:39 AM EST (GMT-5)
I need another bear.
3 months ago - Saturday 12/7/19 - 11:46:38 AM EST (GMT-5)
I saw a bear twice. Different bears.

I read a chapter out of my book again. Talking about the cost of the idea of a new technological era of media. And how that is relatively false.

It referred to a cognitariat. It sounded a lot like what I do. Labor being manipulated into information processing at the expense of the laborer. Work being confused for pleasure.

It referred to art on e-waste as a model to examine for the cognitariat.

Felt like my issues articulated well.
3 months ago - Sunday 12/8/19 - 5:29:01 PM EST (GMT-5)
I’m eating a turkey sandwich from the turkey I made last week.

I’m looking forward to food poisoning and a stronger immune system.
3 months ago - Tuesday 12/10/19 - 2:35:45 PM EST (GMT-5)
So I suppose I’ll continue with my work talk.

I got to program yesterday. It went well. The results that I got on the computer were verifiable through hard gauging.

But is this really spam? This is honestly where I’m at. I’m currently finding personal value in my ability to work efficiently. Is that selfish?

I’m trying to share that. And putting it in words for myself so I can understand it better. To the best of my knowledge I think that is what a journal is for.

Does anyone else feel like they attempt to justify themselves with their work?

Is that confusing work with pleasure?

Am I a try hard?

I like challenge, accomplishment, reward scenarios. In the long run I think they’re mutually beneficial.

3 months ago - Tuesday 12/10/19 - 3:04:04 PM EST (GMT-5)
C-C-C-Combo breaker!
3 months ago - Sunday 12/15/19 - 12:18:18 AM EST (GMT-5)
Is this an approval to keep talking?

Work after the news was particularly unpleasant. Especially because both Thursday and Friday people were in the quality lab doing work chit chat. And I didn’t really want to talk to anyone.

I flexed out on Friday. I didn’t need to cash in OT. Spent the evening tonight at my grandfather’s house. After seeing parents and doing chores.

Watched the Donald Trump Roast from 2012. Played chess against my uncle.

I probably will go to work after the funeral on Wednesday. Only one day bereavement.

It’s hard to grieve being stressed by work. I kept bringing up work at my grandfather’s.

Cognitariat. My brain space is being leased.
3 months ago - Sunday 12/15/19 - 12:39:34 AM EST (GMT-5)
One day is not enough.

Just curious. I read the obit about your grandfather. He's an awesome person who seemed very respected. I saw he was a lawyer and I've seen you mention your dad being a lawyer...did they try to talk you into being a lawyer also?
3 months ago - Sunday 12/15/19 - 12:59:24 AM EST (GMT-5)
I have other uncles in manufacturing and labor. My older brother is doing copyright law for a software company. Licensing and stuff in different states.
3 months ago - Sunday 12/15/19 - 1:11:50 AM EST (GMT-5)
I have an uncle working on cranes in NY. He was there tonight too.
3 months ago - Sunday 12/15/19 - 3:00:11 PM EST (GMT-5)
I have an uncle who’s an engineer.

I have an uncle who’s a carpenter.

I have an uncle in sales.

I have an uncle who captains a barge.

I have an uncle who’s a social worker.

I think that’s all my uncles. Except for the one who also is a lawyer. I can’t think of any more.
3 months ago - Sunday 12/15/19 - 3:01:55 PM EST (GMT-5)
On my mom’s side...

I have an uncle in the ministry.

And I have an uncle who’s a sales engineer.
3 months ago - Sunday 12/15/19 - 3:03:02 PM EST (GMT-5)
There is a song right there
3 months ago - Sunday 12/15/19 - 6:59:59 PM EST (GMT-5)
Are any of your other family members practicing law? Like a cousin?
3 months ago - Sunday 12/15/19 - 7:04:13 PM EST (GMT-5)
Yes. I have two cousins, one on either side of the family, that passed the bar exam. One’s with a firm out of Buffalo and another is clerking in Minnesota.
3 months ago - Sunday 12/15/19 - 8:01:51 PM EST (GMT-5)
Did you want to get into it?
3 months ago - Monday 12/16/19 - 12:43:24 AM EST (GMT-5)
I preferred math.
3 months ago - Thursday 12/19/19 - 12:11:56 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 12/16/19 - 12:43:24 AM amaqdrinker wrote:
I preferred math.


Like a patent attorney?
3 months ago - Thursday 12/19/19 - 1:28:05 PM EST (GMT-5)
Like not a union sympathized business accessory?
3 months ago - Thursday 12/19/19 - 2:44:25 PM EST (GMT-5)
Honestly that’s what I worry “engineer” means in a state as blue as NY. Probably across the board the expectation is to be more of a business facing entity. I’m learning now how to do that ethically working in quality control I think.

I’m still given the opportunity to make judgement calls but through the lens of a particular field. I feel the stress of being expected to take production and profit into consideration in light of something that is often viewed as something which would limit that.

Maybe I’m just in demanding situations. It’s a fairly high volume shop. I’m not thinking much further beyond tax returns and a five paycheck January at the moment though. Still being encouraged by my superiors on a regular basis.

Hope is still somewhere down there inside of me despite it all.
3 months ago - Thursday 12/19/19 - 7:41:20 PM EST (GMT-5)
In the industry I work in, you have to have an official registration to call yourself an engineer and I always eye roll when the term is used willy nilly (like when maintenance workers call themselves engineers- yeah, right).
3 months ago - Thursday 12/19/19 - 11:26:14 PM EST (GMT-5)
I’m an EIT. Hypothetically I could one day take the PE.
3 months ago - Thursday 12/19/19 - 11:53:32 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 12/19/19 - 11:26:14 PM amaqdrinker wrote:
I’m an EIT. Hypothetically I could one day take the PE.


You should.

3 months ago - Thursday 12/19/19 - 11:59:24 PM EST (GMT-5)
Have you been working under a PE?
3 months ago - Friday 12/20/19 - 12:18:23 AM EST (GMT-5)
No I have not. So...

I did at the paper mill. He said he would sign stuff. I’m not sure if there’s a PE in house where I am now.

I actually don’t know anything.

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