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From the Journal of Hael | mood: Good

Do you think you can make real friendships online?

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9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 9:49:29 PM EST (GMT-5)
I've been using this language learning app that connects you to people based on what languages you know and want to learn with other people based on languages they know and want to learn. And so far it's been great. I've met a lot of people I really liked talking to.

But then I met this Polish girl. At first I really liked talking to her. But tonight we started talking about how she thought you can't really be 'friends' with anyone you haven't met in real life. So I said "Well the best friend I ever had was a woman I talked to for like 10 years, everyday" and she asked "did you meet her in real life?" and I said "well I planned to, I bought a train ticket but she had emergency surgery and before we could reschedule she died" and she said "WELL THEN YOU WEREN'T REALLY FRIENDS!". She's the assh*le here right?

9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 9:50:17 PM EST (GMT-5)
Anyway that got me super depressed and I've been listening to Elliott Smith all night with a brief interlude for this for some reason.
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 9:51:18 PM EST (GMT-5)
She's definitely a butthole.

I've made some good friends online on various platforms. Most of them better than my irl 'friends'
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 9:52:49 PM EST (GMT-5)
She also went on to claim I wasn't really autistic because I couldn't tell her 'what percent' autistic I was... is that a thing?
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 9:54:53 PM EST (GMT-5)
To me it's a no brainer. I've met tons of people I knew online first for long periods of time. The sign is in the fact that the novelty of meeting wears off fast and you quickly fall into the same rhythm you had online. It's like when meeting up with an old friend you have not seen in a decade.
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 9:59:06 PM EST (GMT-5)
I think one can be friends with people they never meet in real life.
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:00:06 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Saturday 4/13/19 - 9:52:49 PM Hael wrote:
She also went on to claim I wasn't really autistic because I couldn't tell her 'what percent' autistic I was... is that a thing?


I think there is a spectrum of sorts indicating the degree of autism. I never heard there being an actual number or percentage though...
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:07:16 PM EST (GMT-5)
Yes, it's not really a question. The Polish girl seems dumb.
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:07:58 PM EST (GMT-5)
I think you can be friends and it's also a really neat kind of friendship. Brain to brain, not so much superficiality.

9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:07:58 PM EST (GMT-5)
Right. I saw my doctors had said I was high functioning autistic but because I couldn't giver her a percentage she didn't believe I really was autistic at all. Is this just a cultural difference? Or as Polack's just as dumb as the jokes say they are?
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:08:56 PM EST (GMT-5)
Yeah I've had real life friendships and romantic relationships and they were never really as deep or meaningful as my online ones....
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:14:16 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:07:58 PM Hael wrote:
Right. I saw my doctors had said I was high functioning autistic but because I couldn't giver her a percentage she didn't believe I really was autistic at all. Is this just a cultural difference? Or as Polack's just as dumb as the jokes say they are?

I've never heard of a percentage rule. I assume someone told her that and she never bothered to research if it was true.

I've been surprised to learn that some online friends are autistic. There's something about typing out thoughts that's easier to seem neurotypical, I guess? But they say IRL interactions might not run quite as smoothly. Idk.
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:21:40 PM EST (GMT-5)
Not gonna lie, I also enjoy having friendships where you can "X" out of the interaction at any time and put your electronics away when you're tired of being social. So much more convenient than "real life".

I like both, though. Considering going to the bar later on tonight. I do enjoy seeing people's mannerisms and expressions while talking too. Typing friends and talking friends are both good.
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:25:30 PM EST (GMT-5)
She said she had worked with autistic people for years tho so I thought it might be a cultural thing.

And yeah, 90% of the people I talk to online that I tell I;m autistic don't believe it. But then I don't believe it either,
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:27:07 PM EST (GMT-5)
I don;t really have mannerisms or expressions at all... or so I've been told. Maybe that's part of the problem.
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:29:51 PM EST (GMT-5)
Could be cultural. Perhaps they have their own diagnostic parameters there.
9 days ago - Saturday 4/13/19 - 10:31:31 PM EST (GMT-5)
Don't care. F*ck her, If her culture makes her disrespect my most important relationships, then f*ck her and her culture.
9 days ago - Sunday 4/14/19 - 1:07:12 AM EST (GMT-5)
She's a shthead, don't even think about her, hael.

100% you can have friends you've never met, meeting in person doesn't mean it elevates the relationship in any way.
Sometimes people make friends online with those they'd never ever even look twice at if they saw them irl. That's why I really appreciate the people I've met online. Because they don't look at your face/body, they don't hear your voice and judge you. They judge you by the person you are inside.
9 days ago - Sunday 4/14/19 - 1:09:22 AM EST (GMT-5)
I question the ability to truly express oneself in any medium let alone twitter hashtag land.

It’s all a lens. Perspective is everything.
9 days ago - Sunday 4/14/19 - 1:26:40 AM EST (GMT-5)
I guess I would go as far as to ask, can you make real friendships period?
9 days ago - Sunday 4/14/19 - 1:28:03 AM EST (GMT-5)
Can one make a real friend ship in a bottle?
9 days ago - Sunday 4/14/19 - 1:29:42 AM EST (GMT-5)
Me personally? I doubt it. ut the closest I've gotten was with people online.
9 days ago - Sunday 4/14/19 - 1:29:52 AM EST (GMT-5)
Are you calling me an alcoholic?
9 days ago - Sunday 4/14/19 - 1:31:19 AM EST (GMT-5)
Am I the only sober one here? Should I rectify that and go to the bar?
9 days ago - Sunday 4/14/19 - 1:31:39 AM EST (GMT-5)
Alcoholic? Who said anything about alcoholic? Are you saying I shouldn't have gotten another drink!!?

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